a longing for innocence

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

Gabe's theory had been right. At the Hawkins Community Pool, Billy Hargrove was indeed sitting at his lifeguard's post, swathed in a robe, a hat, and sunglasses, nursing a slushie as he watched the crowd. Watching him, Gabe wondered how he wasn't sweltering under those layers of clothing—he himself was boiling in just a tank top and shorts—but then he reminded himself that the alternative was being cooked by the sunlight. If he was indeed a host to the Mind Flayer, his skin would be more susceptible to being burnt, no matter how much sunscreen he slathered on beforehand (speaking of: did the Mind Flayer even know what sunscreen was? What even existed in the Upside Down?). Hosts' skin became paper and their brains became books to be examined at leisure. They just weren't fully human anymore.

Max was the one who had binoculars, so she got a clearer view of her step-brother, but Gabe's eyesight wasn't bad (despite all of those years he'd read with only the light from his window aiding him) so he didn't have much trouble, either. All of the party members, excluding Dustin, who still hadn't picked up (where was he? Gabe was starting to get worried), skulked in the parking lot, half-hidden behind a car the color of caramel, trying to figure out how they were to go about doing this. How they would find out if Billy was the host or not.

"I don't know." Max, still staring, still sounded skeptical, despite everything. "He looks pretty normal to me."

Gabe's eyes wandered off of Billy (who he would rather not be spending his time watching, considering everything he'd done) and moved to the laughing children in the pool. How he longed to be one of them—young, carefree, innocent, thinking about nothing except how they were going to win their next game of beach volleyball. Their biggest problem that would come to them during these summer months would be facing boredom, never facing Demogorgons or Mind Flayers or classmates with superpowers.

He had been one of them—well, a messed up version of one, who dug newspapers out of trash cans and stayed awake at night listening to the cries of baby Nicole and the constant, constant conversations about him, about how worthless he was. But he regardless found himself envying the earlier days, after running away, when the only monster he knew about was tiny, slug-like Dart.

At that last one, he side-glanced at Alina, whose leg had been jiggling for the past ten minutes. Although she had fairly good control over her abilities, occasionally she'd become so full with energy she had no choice than to let just a little bit out. Which is what she did now—her palms went red, and an orb of light shot into the air, bringing a quick warmth as it flew past his face. He wondered what that felt like. To be so full.

"Normal?" Lucas blinked at Max's comment, shooting Gabe back into the reality of this situation. "How many times have you seen him with a shirt on?"

Max lowered her binoculars. "I mean, it's a little weird."

"More than a little," said Mike. "He was in a tub with ice. The Mind Flayer likes it cold. Plus everything El and Al saw."

"And the cookie," Gabe reminded them.

"But he's lounging at the pool," Max argued, "which is like, the least Mind Flayer thing ever."

"Not necessarily," said Will thoughtfully. He still looked a little shaken up, like Gabe himself felt, but he also had to admit that some of the color had returned to his cheeks. God. Only he would notice that.

Nevertheless, Gabe continued to watch him, because everyone else was, anyway. Will had quickly become the expert on all things Mind Flayer related, given that he'd been more of a spy for it than Alina, who hadn't known she'd been possessed, had. With everyone's confused looks, Will elaborated.

"The Mind Flayer likes to hide. He only used me when he needed me. I assume he did the same for Alina, as well." At her hollow-eyed nod, Will continued. "It's like... like you're dormant. And then, when he needs you, you're activated."

Gabe shuddered at that, and put a comforting arm around him. He couldn't help but remember the early days after everything was over last year, in visits to the hospital and worried conversations about the state of his friends. And when Will had woken up... well, he'd been himself, but... Gabe rarely liked to talk, or even think about this part. There seemed to have been a little bit of the Mind Flayer that had stuck around in him. It was gone now, of course—it had only really been the first day—but Gabe remembered being scared. Terrified of his friend.

Then he'd gotten better, but his eyes had been like black holes for months after, void of emotion as he struggled to come to terms with things. No matter what the party tried to do to cheer him up, it didn't last long, and he'd relapse, possibly into the memories of his possession, and all of the pain that had come with it.

"Okay," said Max now, "so we just... wait until he gets activated."

Mike shook his head. "No. What if he hurts someone?"

"Or kills someone?" Will added.

"We can't take that chance. We need to find out if he's the host."

Before anyone could say anything, Mike was already moving away from the car, heading towards the pool. El stared after him. "Where are you going?"

"I have an idea. Boys only." He gestured at Will, Gabe and Lucas to follow, leaving Alina, Max and El to exchange exasperated looks.

"Seriously?" Max asked, but Will and Lucas were already tearing away from the car and following Mike. Gabe hung back, his eyes flicking between the three stunned girls, guilt going through him.

"Just trust me! C'mon, Gabe!"

Gabe went, thinking about how weird it was that he and Will's fight with Mike seemed trivial now. Inconsequential. It was nothing compared to the new problems they were facing. With the Mind Flayer. Possibly with Billy.

Deep down, he was still mad. But for now, he'd have to pretend he wasn't. They worked better as a team, he knew. So he followed Mike and the others to the men's changeroom, wondering what on earth this was all about. Mike pulled them inside, and, as they made their way through the changeroom, avoiding the others clad in towels and half-dressed, he explained his plan.

"Okay, so we wait until the pool closes, until everyone leaves, we somehow get him to come from here—" he gestured to where they were walking, "—and..." he pulled open another door, leading them into the workout room. It reeked of sweat and was filled with the heavy breaths of men lifting weights, and Gabe rushed to hurry through. "...get him into here," Mike finished, gesturing to the sauna.

Gabe followed Mike, Lucas and Will to the steaming room, where Mike pulled the door open—and revealed a gaggle of half-naked men sitting there, drenched in sweat, the only thing restricting their privates from the world to see being small towels tied around their waists. Immediately, they burst into protests.

"Hey, shut the door!"

"Hey, come on, kid, shut it!"

Mike stared dumbly into the sauna for a moment, sheer disgust etched onto his face, and then he slammed the door, whirling around so his back was pressed against it. Gabe grimaced at the window, where he caught flashes of bare skin, and adverted his eyes. That was not what he had wanted to see today. Or ever.

"I think I just threw up in my mouth," said Lucas, looking similarly grossed-out.

"You're not the only one," said Gabe.

Mike moved around the wall, where a set of controls for the sauna lay. A reluctant smile came to his face. "And look, the controls are right here. It's perfect."

"Will it get hot enough?" Will questioned.

"Two-hundred and twenty degrees," said Mike. He moved back to the sauna. "We just have to figure out how to get him in here."

"Then we lock him in..."

"Heat him up..." added Lucas.

"And figure out whether or not he's the host," concluded Gabe. He had to admit that Mike's plan was pretty good. After all, the Mind Flayer did, in fact, like it cold, and, according to Will and Alina, it was more susceptible to heat. Walking through a mild summer's day was like a wall of fire, a blazing inferno. So if it was this hot in there... it would be complete agony.

"No matter what happens, we'll know," said Mike. "We'll know for sure."

Lucas and Will nodded, but Gabe pursed his lips. Another thought had come to him. A flaw to Mike's plan. He decided to voice it before everyone got too excited.

"What if he's not the host?"

"What?" Mike turned to him, his smile fading a little. He didn't seem to have forgotten their earlier argument.

"I mean, I know we're pretty sure Billy is the host, at this point, but what—and this is an admittedly small chance—he isn't? I mean, he's going to be pretty pissed that we locked him in there. Given that he literally beat the shit out of Steve last year for having the gall to stop him from hurting Lucas and Alina, what do you think he'll unload on us? I mean, this is kind of dangerous."

Mike looked momentarily flabbergasted, but seemed to recover quickly. "We'll get there," he said. "And besides, we have El and Alina this time. He won't be able to get near us."

"And say he is the host?" Gabe was chewing on his lip now, the metallic taste of blood meeting his tongue. "He's probably going to be stronger than a normal human; I mean, look at Will last year. What if he busts out? Surely he could get through that door."

"We'll lock it up, tight, get a padlock or something." This was Lucas now. He eyed the sauna door. "And if he is the host, then the heat will make him weak, right? So he shouldn't be able to get through."

Gabe exhaled. He was feeling better now, but he couldn't help the twinge of unease that went through him about this entire thing. There were so many possibilities of things going wrong, a multitude of futures that ended with his dead body lying on the floor. This was what he did: he overthought things. His brain moved like a conveyor belt, producing one thought before immediately spitting out one another, and it was also the reason he was constantly rambling; he had to compensate for his ever-moving mind.

"Gabe?" Will's voice was soft. "You okay?"

Gabe blinked. Will's voice had a habit of drawing him out of his trances. It was like the song of fairies, the rush of waterfalls, the jingle of windchimes. Maybe he was just romanticizing it, like he romanticized every other part of him, from his hair, which Will constantly was pushing out of his eyes, to his cheeks, red as a freshly bloomed rose. But if that was romanticizing, it was something that was quite lovely.

"I'm fine," he said. He clenched his fists together. He remembered the vines, and the fear.

"We're going to be fine." Will slipped his hand into his, and it was like Gabe's body had been set on fire. His hand especially. "I promise."

Will Byers is holding my hand. He was the one who took it first. And we are not at a movie theater watching a scary movie, but rather enacting a horror movie in real life. But his hand is warm against mine and his fingers fit perfectly, and I never knew how many nerves were in the palms of my hands.

I think I'm going to throw up. Or jump for joy. One of the two.

Gabe looked at Will, and only at Will, and he saw the promise in there. And so, Gabriel Burton managed a smile. "Okay."

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧