the weakness of love

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As unsettling as this new information was—everything with the chemical-drinking and the bit that the flayed might not actually be human—what Alina found even more unsettling was the Holloway dining room, which they all headed into right after the kitchen. The platter of drugged cookies, the nearly-finished wine glasses, the half-eaten plates of food (that had obviously begun to rot—Alina could smell it from here, and the mixture of this with the chemicals was almost unbearable for her nose)... this was the same dinner she, El, and Max had walked in on what felt like a century ago. As Alina scrutinized the area, she almost felt like she was back in her raincoat, dripping all over the floor, embarrassment coloring her cheeks as Billy spoke to them good-naturedly.

Except, of course, Billy and the Holloways were gone. And something else was up, because a dark wine stain colored half the tablecloth (maybe a reaction to the drugs?). Alina stepped closer to the table, running her hand over the soft fabric, holding her breath, and found a half-eaten cookie on one of the plates. Yep. Definitely the drugs. Even though they'd already worked their way out of their system, just looking at the cookie made Alina a little wobbly.

There was no doubt in Alina's mind now that something bad had happened to Heather's parents, and how that something probably was flaying. Bile boiled in her throat. Nobody deserved this. Nobody deserved the Mind Flayer rotting inside them.

She looked away from the table, and that was when her eye got caught on a new piece of evidence; a wine bottle laying on the carpet. Nancy had evidently already noticed while Alina was wallowing, as she was making her way over to it. Crouching down, her hand trailed over another stain—although Alina didn't think this one was wine.

"Blood," Nancy murmured. Alina found herself reaching for Lucas's hand. He grabbed it immediately, because he looked terrified. As terrified as Alina felt. And although his hand was sweaty, Alina kept her hold. She needed something to hold onto. And by now she knew that the something was always him.

Jonathan crouched beside Nancy, examining the stain too. And then Nancy said, "Yesterday, Tom had a bandage on his forehead." Jonathan nodded his affirmation, and Nancy picked up the bottle of wine, which, Alina saw now, was also splattered with blood. She stood up, and confirmed what they already knew. "He was attacked."

Alina shook her head, guilt flooding through her. "We never should've left that dinner." Because, obviously, all of this had happened once they were gone. They should've stayed, or, at least, waited at the next house over. They shouldn't have left them behind when they—well, Alina and El—had known something to be up.

"It's not our fault," Max said softly. "We couldn't have known."

But we did know, Alina thought ferociously. That's the whole problem.

"Look." Gabe pointed at a scuffed rug in the hallway. Someone could've been easily dragged across it, which would've messed it up. Nancy nodded, and she and Jonathan slowly walked towards it, the entire party following behind. They were trying to breathe as little as possible, their hearts thumping hard, and Alina half-expected Billy and Heather to jump out at them. Killing them. Or flaying them. Alina didn't know which one would be worse.

Moving over the rug, Alina caught sight of another bloodstain under a doorway, and had to suppress her nausea. They were following a trail—a horrible, bloody trail—and who knew what would be at the end of it? She almost didn't want to know.

With steady hands, Nancy pulled open the door, but the room showed no sign of any suspicious happenings in it. But there was another door, and this one had a lock.

Alina's palms began to sweat, then itch.

Luckily, the door seemed to be unlocked, so, again, Nancy opened it softly, letting herself, Jonathan, and the trailing party in. This room was filled with tools—everything from screwdrivers to hammers—and other miscellaneous supplies, like paint and tape. Alina looked around, expecting a bloody saw or a noose, like something in a horror movie, but there was none of that. It didn't even look suspicious, until she saw it.

Right in the middle of the room was a coil of thick rope. Perfect for tying up people.

Jonathan seemed to have come to the same conclusion. "They must have tied them," he announced. "They must've taken them somewhere."

"So Billy and Heather kidnapped Heather's parents, and probably brought them somewhere for whatever reason," Gabe breathed. "That's amazing! Not totally terrifying at all!"

"Where, though?" Alina voiced. And why? Why would they take them away from here? What would be the gain in that?

"Mrs. Driscoll," Nancy said suddenly. "She kept saying... 'I have to go back.' What if the flaying, it's taking place somewhere else? There must be a place where all this started, right? A source."

"Somewhere he didn't want us to see," said El. Which was why, in the void, he'd disappeared as soon as he'd looked at them. Because he didn't want them to know where he was.

Alina narrowed her eyes. If wherever Heather and Billy took the Holloways was where the flaying was happening, it would have to be somewhere big. Somewhere discreet, where they couldn't be stumbled in on. But where did a place like that exist in Hawkins?

And come to think of it, how did the flaying even work? Last year, it had been the shadow... but the gate was still closed. The majority of the Mind Flayer was still trapped in the Upside Down, right? It couldn't function with just a wisp of itself.

No, it had to be using something. People. Animals. Something to allow it to exist. Alina just didn't know what.

"If we can find the source," said Nancy, "then maybe we can stop him. Or at least stop it from spreading or doing whatever the hell he's doing with those chemicals."

"How do we find it?" El asked.

Will's eyes widened. "Mrs. Driscoll." Everyone looked at him. "If she wants to go back so badly, why don't we let her?"

Will's plan was admittedly, genius. As far as they all knew, which seemed fairly accurate, given that Nancy had just seen her hours earlier, Mrs. Driscoll was at the hospital, where she'd been brought after her immense fertilizing-eating freak-out. Nancy had visited her earlier under the guise of being her granddaughter, so if she played to the same story, it should allow them to get into her hospital room. The only trouble was that Alina didn't know how they were going to have a frail old woman, who was also possessed by the Mind Flayer, lead them to the source. She didn't know much about hospitals (even though the lab resembled one quite closely), but she assumed a raving old lady in a hospital gown leading a large group out might raise some eyebrows, especially considering it was likely she wouldn't be discharged when they got there.

Well, that was how most of their plans worked, anyway. Like the sauna test, which, although it had technically been a humongous fiasco, had given them the answers they were looking for. But this was different. They were willingly going behind a flayed woman, who might decide halfway to not head to the source and instead turn around and try to flay them. And, as Alina knew now, flaying seemed to give people superhuman powers.

Just not telekinesis or energy manipulation. More like super, deadly strength.

The Mind Flayer, spread across a large number of people now, including Billy Hargrove and Heather Holloway, was always searching for more. The more it spread, the better it felt, because although it wasn't its good old self here in this dimension, it was... well, it was a we. And it had changed people. Digging deep into their heads, exploiting their fears, shaping and morphing them until they lost all singularity, and I became we, just like it had done with the girl and the boy last year.

One posed a more significant threat than the other. Alina Fairgrieves may have only been thirteen, but she—along with her gate-closing friend—was powerful. But she was also weak, with all her silly human emotions. The Mind Flayer remembered everything about her—it had stayed for a long time. It remembered her compassion, her traitorous father (who'd died from one of the we), her stupid little cat, and, most of all, her love. The girl had loved so deep and so heavily. From her pathetic little friends, to her newfound family, to that boy, the one she never stopped thinking about... well, it almost made it easy, didn't it?

Maybe that was the key right there, it thought. Well, Billy thought. It was majorly in that shell now. To not go for the girl—though if it could, it would—but to go for her friends, her family. The weaker ones, whose outer flesh provided no resistance from its limbs. Killing them, or better yet, adding them to the army, would just be the thing that would break her enough. And then, perhaps, the Mind Flayer would embrace Alina Fairgrieves back into the team again, because the girl's outer shell was perfect.

Were all humans like this? Did the other girl—El, she'd said her name was, though names were nothing, because they were shed anyway when I became we—also possess that same love? If so, this might actually work.

No, of course it would work. Because the all-powerful shadow monster, eater of worlds, was more than any of them would ever be. And sure, it had been stopped once before, but that had only given it time to build. To grow stronger. More powerful. Those children were just children. And that was all they'd ever be.

Gabriel Burton was indeed feeling exactly like a child as he piled back into the car with the others in order to make his way to the hospital. Although he knew Will's plan was the best way to go, he couldn't help the terror that seeped through him with every passing moment. It was one thing to talk about saving the world, and another to actually go through with it. To do something that might be dangerous. That might end his life.

His trembling fingers found his face wound. It was still sensitive to his touch. If this was what one flayed could do, what about an entire army? Because Mrs. Driscoll, Billy, Heather, and Heather's parents couldn't be the end of it. There had to be more out there, people who were strong enough even without being possessed that they could kill him in seconds. Could rip the very flesh off of his bone, snap his spine in two with a single touch.

You survived last time, he reminded himself. But did that ensure him better or worse luck during a next battle? His luck would run out, surely. He'd be dead or flayed. The entire world would be dead or flayed.

Would I rather be flayed or dead? He asked himself. Alive, but not himself, or dead but as him? This was assuming there was no coming back, of course, but given how Lucas had said that the flayed weren't human, he had to think so now.

Flayed or dead?

Dead, Gabe realized. Even though he thought of himself as the type to try and stay alive in all given circumstances, he knew that if he was alive, he wanted to be himself. Not some puppet for the Mind Flayer to pull the strings of. But himself, the freak, the loser, the nerd. The brave. He'd rather impale himself on the end of a blade than be a tool to someone else. Would rather jump off a cliff if it meant losing memory of his friends.

He just hoped that he wouldn't have to be faced with that choice, anyway.   

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

a/n: we're going to the hospital next chapter!! i am honestly super excited for it, because there are specific added scenes i am super proud of and were really fun to write!! you guys might not like them as much though 🙈🙈🙈

also, i've been thinking, and i've finally come up with a song to represent alina, and one to represent gabe (both weren't on any of the playlists). alina's theme is whatever it takes by imagine dragons, because i remember listening to that song in the car and making a mental music video about her lmfaooo. gabe's theme is viva la vida by coldplay, for no reason other than it just gives off gabriel burton vibes. i listened to it a lot while writing this book.

tomorrow, i'm going to be leaving on a trip with my family, and although i'm bringing my laptop, i might not update at all. i'm going to try and update this book at least once (ignis fatuus will be on hold, though), but don't be surprised if i don't. 

'till next time! <3