the mind of the flayed

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

    It only took a couple minutes for El's quickly explained idea to become a reality. Apparently, in order to find Kali, El's fellow subject, last year, she had gone into her mother's mind, because Terry Ives was permanently disabled and unable to speak from the torture that had been inflicted upon her at Hawkins Lab. Terry had shown El the rainbow room, where El and Kali used to play together, thus advising her to go and contact her spiritual sister. Which El then had done.

Alina, who was sitting cross-legged, swiping her nose with a tissue, had her mouth agape. "So, you're saying we can go into Billy's mind and find the source?" she asked. The thought made her a little queasy. The prospect of going into Billy Hargrove's mind, which, even if it wasn't completely taken over by the Mind Flayer, would evidently be a sick and twisted place to be. This was the boy who'd nearly given Steve brain damage. This was the boy who'd broken into her house. And they were going to waltz right into his mind?

"Yes," El replied. "It will work. He can't hide it if we're in there." She turned slightly, meeting Alina's eyes. "Will you come with me?"

"I—" Alina wanted to say yes, but there were so many new factors involved. "Will we be together? In there? Or will we be split up?"

"I... don't know," El admitted. "I've only done this by myself. But I'd feel better if you came with me."

How could she say no to El? Her best friend, the magnet, the girl she'd risked everything to find? Alina took a deep breath. "Okay," she said. "I'll come into Billy's mind with you."

El smiled, and settled down beside her. Gabe, looking anxious, helped set the TV to static again, the buzz a familiarity to all of them. Alina and El stretched out their limbs and were preparing to put their blindfolds on when Mike knelt beside them.

"El," he began, "I know you think you have to do this, but you don't."

"Oh, here we go," Alina muttered.

Mike shot her a look, clenching his jaw, and resolutely continued what was evidently a planned speech. "It's just... you've only done this before once. And your mom, she loved you, and wanted you to know what happened. And Billy's mind is... it's sick, diseased. The Mind Flayer is in him."

"He can't hurt us," said El. "Not in there."

"We don't know that," said Mike. He was practically echoing Alina's own concerns at this point, but she'd never tell him that. She did have to admit, though, that going into Billy's mind would be a bit of a gamble. What if it let him know where they were? What if he really could hurt them?

She didn't like thinking about those possibilities.

El moved forward slightly, entangling her hand with Mike's. Her eyes softened. "Mike. I need you to trust me."

Mike nodded, but he still looked worried. "Yeah," he said. "Just... be careful."

"Hey, Mike?" Alina couldn't help but call out to him as he stood up. Mike whirled around, facing her, looking like he was bracing himself for a cutting insult. But she didn't insult him. It wasn't the time for it. So instead she said, "She's not going in there alone, you know. I'll protect her. We'll be careful, okay? We'll leave as soon as we sense something's up."

"Okay." Mike breathed a sigh of relief at that. "And... Alina? I'm sorry for bringing you into that argument earlier. I was wrong, and I have to admit I was kind of being a hypocrite. Just because you're not my girlfriend—ex-girlfriend," he corrected quickly, noticing the stares of El and Max, who was sitting on the couch behind him, "doesn't mean that you're not important. So I'm sorry."

"I forgive you, Mike," said Alina, a slight smile coming to her face, even though her heart was still racing and her palms were clammy at the prospect of what she was about to do. "Sorry for constantly ragging on you, by the way. I know I give you a lot of flack for not immediately being invited into the party and everything, but you have changed. And I guess I should respect that. And... you were right. Earlier. About El. Don't you dare tell anyone I said that, but it's true. For once, we were in agreement.

"But..." she glanced at Will and Gabe, who were now sitting together, their heads bent, locked in a whispered conversation. "I don't think I'm the only person you should apologize to. I don't know what happened before you got here, but by the way Gabe was talking... it's just my suggestion."

Mike's eyes widened, and he glanced back at the two boys. "Okay, Detective," he said. "But really, you're right. Thanks, again. I'll go do that right now. Or, well, after this. Good luck."

Alina smiled wider, watching Mike move away from the pair to settle in. The others, who had all been locked in conversation, did the same, setting up around El and Alina. And so the two girls, almost in sync, rose their blindfolds and tied them around their eyes. Preparing for whatever was to come.

I'm going to be strong, Alina told herself. I can't be distracted, not even with everything with Tom. I need to focus.

And so she banished any thoughts of his jelly corpse out of her mind and focused on picturing Billy instead. Every hair on his head came in extraordinary detail, and this time, with El's hand safely in hers, it took only seconds for Billy's face to come to life, to grow larger and larger until it swallowed her vision and she opened her eyes yet again.

She did so to the relief of no pain, and took a slow breath through her cleared nostrils. She shivered slightly, though not from the cold, because the air had no temperature. It was thin, making it easy to walk through, easy to breathe in, probably because it wasn't really real.

"Hey, El?" she spoke softly to the girl beside her, who was looking almost as nervous as Alina felt. "We're going to be okay, all right? I'm not going to let anything bad happen to us here. I promise."

Little did she know, that was a promise she couldn't keep. But El seemed comforted at that, and laced her void-hand into Alina's, and the two of them set out on their way.

In the distance, there was a bed. Alina could see it clearly, for it was close enough not to be a mere speck, and she could also see the boy sitting on it, just like she had before. This was where they were heading. This was where they would finally find answers.

Swishing her feet through the watery ground, Alina mustered up the courage to take the first step. And then another, and another, until they were standing right in front of the flayed Billy Hargrove. There was a tattoo on his arm and a cut on his cheek, and a chain dangled from his throat. His eyes were dazed and his pupils were dilated, but other than that, he could've been any teenager. Anyone. If Alina hadn't known what he was. What he'd done, even when he had his own free will.

She hated him. Maybe she shouldn't, because he was possessed, but she did. She hated him. And now they were going into his mind.

El had stopped looking over Billy's face, and, strangely, even though she seemed more hesitant than Alina now, she was the one who initiated everything. She took the hand still entwined with Alina's, moving it forward—and at this, Alina's skin brushed against Billy's arm, the sensation causing her skin to crawl—until they locked hands. Alina. El. Billy. All linked now. Like they were a unit or something.

And... and Billy didn't dissolve into ashes, either. He just remained woefully solid, with black marks pockmarking his arm like cigarette burns.

"Billy," El whispered, her voice dancing across the void and into Alina's ears. "Can you hear me?"

"Can you hear us?" Alina asked. She wasn't talking to the Mind Flayer. She was talking to Billy Hargrove, which was something she never thought she'd be doing. Something she'd never wanted to do, ever since he'd attacked Lucas and Steve. And even if, in another world, he did a full 180 after that and became a nice person, she still wouldn't want to.

"We want to see," said El, her voice soft. "We want to see what happened."

At this, Billy, who had previously made no movement, twitched, and his eyes flickered up to meet theirs. They were a mixture of blue and green, and they were wet. Alina resisted the urge to look away, because she had to be strong, strong like she'd always been.

For a moment, El and Alina just stared at Billy, and Billy stared back, and then his hand reached up and grabbed their forearms, from where their hands were still locked. His fingers dug in tighter and tighter and Alina's eyes went wide as she fought to release from his tight grasp, but that only made them dig tighter and tighter. El let out a sharp cry of pain and Alina realized she'd been gasping, tears springing to her eyes, trying in vain to jerk back, to make him let go. And normally she'd use her energy, but she didn't even know if it worked in the void, and even if it did, what if it flung out in real life, too, and ended up hurting someone?

But it hurt, a lot more than it should, and Alina was trying to pull herself back but Billy did not relent. He was too strong. He had always been stronger than she had.

"Stop!" El screamed. "Stop! No!"

"Stop!" Alina managed to choke out. "S-stop it! Let us go! S-stop!"

And then Billy did let go. But he did it so abruptly that Alina, who was still trying to pull back, began to topple over. But instead of falling down immediately, it happened in slow-motion. Alina's body was like a thick jelly, and she couldn't stop herself from falling, only feel her pulse in her ears as she did so. Her eyes swiveled over to El's, who was falling as well, her eyes wild.

With a tremendous force, Alina managed to reach out, and El did as well, and as they neared the watery ground the two of them linked hands yet again, fearing that if they let go they'd lose their connection, or worse, each other. And so they held fast.

El's other hand was outstretched, reaching out for Billy, and Alina's mind was going foggy. It was hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to do anything but stare and feel herself fall. Seconds felt like hours as she tumbled back, and she wondered how long this would go on for.

After a moment, Alina realized El was screaming, and that she was, too, their cries intermingling with each other's as they fell. Pictures began to flash by them: a screaming Billy pockmarked with black streaks, the Mind Flayer, Billy clutching El's throat, Tom Holloway having his face sucked off by something. And Alina realized these were Billy's memories as more flashed by: seeing him in the void and him disappearing, him watching as Alina, El and Max left the Holloway household, Heather in the bathtub and then plunging deep below the watery surface.

Then Billy's screams intermingled with theirs as something dragged him down somewhere. Down. Down. Down. Into the pits of hell.

Would this ever end?

And then there was a car, and it was swerving, and there was a mess of blondish hair, and the beginning of a crash until—

Alina Fairgrieves-Byers opened her eyes. The blindfold still seemed to be on, given that she wasn't in Hopper's cabin, surrounded by all of her friends. Rather, she was lying in the ocean, with saltwater lapping over her face. Alina gasped for air, choking out the water that had made it into her mouth, and she blinked as sunlight beat down on her head. Looking over, she saw El was lying beside her, gasping as well, her hair soaked and her shirt clinging to her skin.

The two of them quickly rose to their feet, frightening a flock of seagulls, who screeched into the sky. Sand squished beneath their toes as Alina looked around, and, if not for the distorted noises echoing across the area, she could almost convince herself that she was safe. That she wasn't in someone's mind, but rather far, far away from the danger.

Unfortunately, this wasn't the case. And things had only just started to get dangerous.

. ✧ ・゜. +・o ✧

a/n: yes, there is going to be the scene on the beach. no, billy isn't going to get redeemed. you'll see how, and later, you'll also see why i decided to write this scene in, even though it's the most billy sympathetic one. hint: it involves the original scene i was talking about >:)

'till next time!