(Peter's POV)

What am I doing with my life?

Seriously. I am wearing red and blue spandex, swinging around New York and jumping in front of bullets to save complete strangers. Oh yeah. I have also just been shot multiple times and am currently bleeding out in an alley.

I shift my weight so I can fish out my phone from my pocket - yes I made pockets in a skin tight suit deal with it. I unlock my phone and go to the contacts, only to realise this is a new phone and I have no contacts saved.

Parker luck strikes again. I click on the keypad icon and try to remember Ned's number. My guy in the chair always has the answer in situations like this. When no one picks up I open up messenger and shoot Ned a text.

Me

Hey Ned I am currently bleeding out in an alley and require assiatance please answer your goddamn phone

:3

???

What the hell

Who are you and why are you texting me?

Also WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL FUCKS ARE YOU BLEEDING OUT!!!

Me

I am guessing this is not Ned Leeds

shit

???

This most certainly is not

But seriously are you okay do you want me to call help.

Me

*sigh*

Nope all good

???

Did you just sigh in a chat

You know what nevermind I am tracking you phone and coming to help

Me

Um stalker much

I will be fine stranger whom I didn't mean to text

???

If you say so

Well that was strange.

Now back to the problem at hand. I am bleeding out with no way to contact Ned because I am an idiot and didn't write his number down. Guess I will have to fish these bullets out myself. If I eat enough my healing should close the wounds overnight.

God this is disgusting. I haven't had to do this in a solid month. I dig my fingers into the wounds, hissing at the pain shooting up my side when I pull the bullet out.

"Damn that looked painful." A voice said from down the alley.

"Ya think!" I exclaim, my eyes darting around in the darkness trying to figure out who it is. Damn did that guy really track my phone? Have I lead another criminal straight towards me. I don't need this extra stress I really don't.

"Where are my manners. The name's Deadpool." The figure says, detaching from the shadows with an arm outstretched. I don't take it. Instead I kick him back into the shadows and web him up.

"Hey! Rude."

"No offence but your whole aesthetic just screams criminal." I turn my back on him and face the asshat who shot me. I webbed him higher up the wall on the opposite side, making sure to cover his mouth because he talked way to much.

"As for you, didn't anyone tell you it's rude to shoot people?" The man thrashes in the webs, sending cracks up and down the wall. "Chill dude, they will dissolve in two hours. Of course by that point the police will be here and you will be arrested."

"Oi you just gonna leave me here to." I sigh and turn back to Deadpool, thankful that my mask conceals my grimace of pain.

"Let me think...yes." I shoot a web and launch myself up onto the roof. "Bye Mr. Deadpool have fun in jail!" 

I hear him mutter something but don't stick around long enough to find out what it is. I swing to the police station and tell them about the attack. Hopefully they have enough sense to send more than two men. You have no idea how many times I have to chase after criminals for them because they refused to send more officers.

I land on the roof of my apartment complex after another hour of patrol. I slide my phone out again and see many missed messages.

???

You dead?

Hello

Hello

Shit have I let someone die

I don't need this on my conscious

answer meeeeee

yep he dead

Me

Nope not dead

And awwww you care

???

Shut up I don't even know your name

Me

My names Jeff

???

Yeah and I am the Queen of England

Me

I'm not that stupid.

I am not looking to get kidnapped

???

Why would I want to kidnap you

Me

Is that a compliment or...?

???

God your annoying

Bye

Me

rude

and bye :3

Heh I love annoying random strangers I have never met.

------

Hello all!

How is everyone? I am fine...just fine...totally not freaking out over upcoming results day...why would you say that *nervous laughter*

I hope you enjoy the first of many chapters. The updates may be a little slow but I promise I will complete it. I can't stand when books aren't finished.

Have a great day/morning/night. Stay hydrated and wear a mask for crying out loud if you go out (o･ω･o)

Byeeee