It's no surprise I actually don't get any sleep at all until seven. The hours go by with me laying in the bed, my eyes staring towards the ceiling as I process the... recent events. Kal was right, as much as I hate to admit it. We shouldn't tell anyone about it. We didn't even witness anything.

I force myself to think of something else and that's when I remember: the results. The results will be out in less than three hours.

I hear the creaking of a door and quickly close my eyes and hug my pillow. Not much later, my own door opens and my parents whisper to each other.

"Oh, look, she's actually sleeping."

"Is she that calm? Or did she sleep way too late?" Dad asks and I can almost see his frown.

"Probably the second one. She either stayed too long at Kal's or a band was releasing a song and she waited until three to listen to it right away."

"But if that was the case she would have been ecstatic all day."

I hear Mum laughing. "She would be jumping around like 'OMG DAMN FALL OUT BOYS ARE AMAZING' "

Both my parents laugh, and I try hard not to correct them on the name and the fact my voice doesn't sound like I've inhaled a hundred litres of helium.

Even when they go I keep my eyes closed. Now that I was forced to do so I realise how much tired I am. Still, I'm way more anxious than tired and I can't get any actual sleep. So I get up, dab some concealer on in case they mistake me for a zombie and throw chairs at me or something before heading to the kitchen.

Mum and Dad are sitting at the table, drinking coffee and eating toast with banana on top.

"Good morning, honey, are you ready?" Dad asks.

"I know I did well, I'm just going to see how well," I say.

Hey, if I say it I might believe it.

I have to calm down somehow, which is why I opt for a glass of strawberry juice instead of coffee. The caffeine would spike up my heartbeats more than my stress already has.

I sit at the table too but my feet are restless, constantly drumming on the floor.

"Just remember, even if you don't have the best grades, it's alright. Nothing ends with these exams," Mum says with a small smile.

My own smile is threating to fall. "I don't have to remember it because I'll have the best grades anyway."

"Now that's a positive mindset," Dad agrees. "And very competitive."

Mum nudges Dad. "When did we make two Elizas?"

I roll my eyes and take another sip from my juice. I'm nothing like Eliza.

And here's the proof.

When I hear someone fumbling with their keys I know it's her. Of course she took the earliest bus to be here with me at the most stressful moments of my life and remind me how unphazed she was.

Eliza walks in, dragging her big suitcase and looking a little different than how she did two months ago. Her blonde hair is even lighter, styled into a tight french braid. She's wearing a black T-shirt along with black denim shorts that almost reach her knees, and white sneakers. Her skin isn't too much lighter than mine, which is strange considering her exams ended only a few days ago and we have the same skin tone. Her arms and legs seem more defined too and maybe even thinner.

Why did she have another glow up?

"Good morning, Tink! Are you ready to find out your grade?"

I don't have the time to answer.

"Eliza, why didn't you tell us to pick you up?" Mum asks.

"Because it's literally a ten-minute walk from the bus stop," she says as she pours coffee for herself.

"Why are you dressed in black? Did you come back from a funeral?"

"No, but I might be going to one."

I can see her smirking in sattisfaction with her answer.

"ELIZA"

"What? I meant Kal's funeral, in case he doesn't score highly enough."

I know she meant mine but I'm not going to argue with her. She's too caught up in her world to listen to anything else.

"Summer, go grab your laptop and log in the system. We're going to start clicking 'refresh' until it's time so we can see your grades before it crashes."

I almost choke on my juice. "No, I'm going to see them alone."

"Fine, whatever you like best," she replies, as if she's not dying to know what I got.

Despite my optimism, time passes by slowly. I can't concentrate enough to listen to a song or watch Brooklyn 99 or play with Lucky. All I can do is pace back and forth like a charged particle trying to find an equilibrium point between two electrons. My hands and legs are shaking and my lugs are complaining about the amount of oxygen I'm breathing in.

"Summy, it's time to log in," Eliza chimes.

"I'll log in whenever I want to," I tell her but I go get my laptop from my room and place it on the kitchen table. I punch in my codes and let it sit there while I go back to pacing, but this time jumping once in a while. I can feel my family's eyes on me, but I pretend I don't notice.

"SUMMER IT'S TIME!" Eliza yells and suddenly I'm ten times more anxious.

I sit at the chair before my laptop and feel my heart thumping against my chest, as if it's trying to break free. I barely manage to move my hand enough to press on the F5 button continously, wishing the results aren't out yet every time the refreshed page loads. My breaths come out shaky, my legs are threating to crumble even though I'm sitting and anything anyone says annoys me more than parents who don't vaccine their kids.

Eventually, it happens. My screen changes. The blue table that displayed my name, year and other personal info is replaced by a white page and then another table with my grades. My heart rate is at its peak but my eyes can't look farther down than Results just yet.

I let out a breath andn lower my gaze.

English 17
Chemistry 18.5
Biology 16

My eyes lock on the Biology grade. I don't look farther down. I don't have to. It's all over.

Before anyone can say anything, I get up and leave. I get out of the house and run in the streets, allerted by the stinging in my eyes. I can feel the warmth of the sun on me and yet I'm shaking. I'm running towards the old park. I need a place to hide, and no one goes there. No kids at least.

Even though my vision is starting to blur, I'm happy to see the place empty when I get there. I sit under the slide for extra coverage, hug my knees and let out the ugliest sob in the history of sobs.

My head drops to my knees and I cry so much that tears are rolling down my cheeks. I hate crying and yet I can't stop it. I wish every sob is my last one, but then another, louder, follows. My chest is heaving up and down and my throat is threatening to close up.

It's all over. I'm not going to get into Med school. Unless...

A glimmer of hope makes my lips form the slightest of smiles as I calculate my average score assuming I did get a 20 in Physics, just like I was hoping. But it's a mere 17.8.

The best case scenario is nowhere near enough.

Another cycle of sobs and tears starts. And another. And now I know all the times I doubted myself were for a reason.

How could I not have seen this sooner? Everyone else who wanted to study Medicine in my school wasn't a slacker like me. They did sports and read classic Literature, not the cheesy YA books I read with their even cheesier movie adaptations. They did their research on the subject, and I didn't even watch Grey's Anatomy after Dr. Shepard left.

Another thought hits me like a brick: what is everyone going to say now about me now?

Doing well in these exams was supposed to be my ticket to be at least just as good as Eliza. Now I'm doomed being the second best Jones.

My chin drops to the ground. Kal has definitely a way better score than mine. And not only him.

Oh my God, what am I going to do? My score isn't high enough even for Veterinary or Pharmaseutics.

That's it, I'm not even going to college. I might as well try and take that job at Parfait and keep it forever so that I can move out of my parents' house by the time I'm thirty.

A giggle escapes my lips. Even I can tell I'm being dramatic. Gulping, I remember a few hours ago someone possibly died. At least I'm alive.

I get up and clean the dirt from my shorts. The sun is burning hot by now. The sky's pretty light blue shade blended with the golden sunrays is the base for the small clouds and airplaine tracks. Nature is either mocking me for failing or trying to cheer me up.

On my way home I list all the positive outcomes, like how I didn't, after all, answer two T/F questions wrong in Chemistry, otherwise my grade would have been lower. And I don't have to be anxious about the results now because I know them.

Or do I?

A smile is spread across my face. This wouldn't be the first time examiners make a mistake. There's no way I got a 16 in Biology. It's my favourite class after all. All I have to do is contact them and request a reevaluation of my exam.

I sprint faster towards my house. Chuckles escape my lips once in a while and I don't even know why. The situation isn't funny. Or at least not yet. When I'm teaching my interns my own techniques I'll be telling them how when I was seventeen I thought I couldn't be a doctor.

I hop on the porch steps and open the door. Eliza is pacing back and forth in the living room while watching Friends. I always tease her for being old enough to have lived when new episodes still aired.

"Hey, where's Mum and Dad?"

She stops in her tracks before running up to me and engulfing me in a hug. "You stupid little genius, where were you?"

Right. She's going to be making fun of me until I have my grade fixed.

"I'm going to change that 16 to a 19 at least, just so you know," I mutter and push her away, She has gotten stronger and her hugs make me suffocate.

She frowns. "16? Forget about Biology, you had a 20 in Math!"

My jaw drops. I had completely forgotten about Math.

"You have an average of 18.8 for STEM studies!" she says, grabbing me by the shoulders. "That's impressive!"

Of course it's impressive. She had a 19.3 but my silly 18.8 is impressive.

My parents must have heard us talking because they come in and hug me too, going on and on about how proud they are of me and how Medicine is overrated.

My face is getting redder by the minute. I shake my shoulders and torse to escape from their arms.

"This is a mistake, okay? My real grade isn't 16."

Mum smiles at me. "Sweetheart, it's fine. There's nothing you can-"

"Sure there is," I reply quickly. My eyes fall on my laptop on the kitchen table. "And I'm going to find it now, excuse me."

I grab the laptop and head to my room. I hear Eliza saying something about helping me but I lock the door before she can get in. I don't need her telling me how pointless this is.

I want to be a surgeon and nothing is going to stop me.

..................

1980 words

So uh this is a chapter that exists...I'M SORRY IT'S SO BAD. I had written this book up to a point in Greek before and now ofc I'm making sooo many changes but this part...it sucked before and it sucks now.

On the bright side, a class for which I studied two full days a week is now cancelled for the next two weeks meaning I'll have time for this...unless something else comes up.

How are you doing with NaNo?

Favourite ship so far?