I've sat on Kal's bed before. Not too many times but there's a significant number, and all of them I'm positive it didn't feel like sitting on lit coals.

Everything is strange. My stomach is doing somersaults non-stop and my arms and legs seem to have forgotten how to stay still. I'm moving from one edge to the other, then standing up and walking around the room. I catch myself picking a book from Kal's bookshelf, flipping through the pages and leaving it on his desk.

Kal is sitting on his spinning chair, his heels constantly bouncing from left to right. He keeps playing with his fingers: bending them, cracking them, twisting them. I would have considered it gross if it was someone else.

"Oh, The Outsiders," Kal says with a smile as I pick up a new book. "I loved it."

The cover is a little torn and the pages yellowed. "What is it about?"

Kal shrugs. "Some teenagers in the late '60s."

I set the book on top of the pile I've created on the desk. "I'm sorry. I'll put them back on the shelf, I swear."

Kal chuckles. "It's fine. I was going to rearrange them anyway, so you're helping me."

My face lights up. "Let's do it now, then."

Kal nods and gets up from the chair. He bumps on me as he walks to the bookshelf, so elbow him at the side. I try containing a smile, but I can't. When I look through the corner of my eyes, I see him staring at me with a smile on his lips. Another rush runs down my spine, probably the hundredth for today. He nudges me too, so I hit back right away.

Kal chuckles. "What are we even doing?"

I let out a huff. "To be honest, I have no idea, dude."

He frowns, but there's still a smirk on his lips. "Did you just dudezone me?"

Grabbing a deep red book, I say "No, but maybe I should have. This" -I twirl a finger- "is weird."

Kal exhales and nods. "I know. If you want to leave, you could-"

"I don't want to!" I say quickly. "But I also don't know what we're supposed to be doing."

Kal taps his index finger on his cheek, his eyes scanning the room. "What would we be doing if we hadn't confessed our undying crushes an hour ago?"

I can feel a flush creeping across my cheeks. "Talking and listening to music. We're pretty boring," I add as an afterthought.

Kal slowly shakes his head. "We're also going out at night, which could count as something ultimately romantic."

I'm sure my entire face is red by now. Is he doing this on purpose?

"We were investigating," I correct him, "and that was before I liked you." I bit the inside of my lips. "I think. I'm not sure. Hey, have you heard from Jason?"

"No, and I haven't seen him anywhere, actually," Kal says with a frown. "Do you think..."

I wave my hand. "C'mon, he's doing his job. He knows the risks, so he wouldn't do anything to put him into trouble." I shrug. "I tend to ask a lot about the... job. Maybe he's annoyed by me."

Kal winces. "He might"

I nod and purse my lips.

"I'm not, though."

I shut my eyes closed as I smile. My heart is going to burst anytime soon.

When I look at Kal again, I notice there's a slight pink tint on his cheeks.

"So, are we going to rearrange your books or not?"

Kal smiles as he places Great Expectations back on the shelf. "Maybe another time. I... Do you want to watch TV or... just relax?"

It's as if my body remembers it's operating on five hours of sleep when he says the magic word, and the fatigue washes over me.

"Sure."

None of us moves, though. We stand there, gazing at each other. I know for a fact I'm doing a terrible job at biting back my smile. If the pupil of the eye actually does dilate when one sees someone they like, Kal must be freaking out at my black eyes.

Standing on my toes, I lean close to Kal and wrap an arm around his shoulder so as not to lose my balance. I smile briefly before capturing his lower lip between my own and-

And freeze.

I have no idea what to do from there.

Kal places his hands around my waist and that gives me the courage to actually kiss him. I find myself smiling at the familiarity of being so close to him, tasting the ice cream in his mouth and smelling the usual scent of cucumber and aloe. The kiss is soft and light. None of us deepens it, and somehow it feels more intimate. It's slow, cautious and dangerous. I'm pretty sure it's not healthy for my heart to be beating so fast for so long.

I pull away, but only enough to look at Kal. "We're getting better at this, right?"

Kal nods with a smile. "It's only our second kiss."

"Third, if you count the first one-"

"Which you ended," he says before I can continue, pouting his lips.

Without thinking, I lean in and give him a peck. Somehow my cheeks feel hotter than before. My only comfort is that Kal's face is starting to get as red as I'm guessing mine is.

"We're almost the same height when you do that," Kal says.

I frown. "What? Kissing you?" Then it hits me. I'm still standing on my toes. My ankles hurt as I step down again.

Kal chuckles. "C'mon, let's lay down and watch Youtube."

"Say no more."

Kal lays down on his stomach and I kick off my Jordans before laying beside him, since there's enough space for the both of us. He balances his phone on the headboard and a commentary video on a new Netflix movie starts playing.

I don't give it half of my attention. Instead, I'm focused on trying to slow down the beating of my heart and resist the urge to elbow Kal, just so I can touch him in a way that's not going to make me pass out.

Oh my God, I'm 6'2 and I-I wear size 10 in Nikes. Size 10 I tell you!

Kal chuckles to the sound of that, and I turn to look at him, cursing myself for not having my phone ready to take a picture. His eyes crinkles at the side, his dimple shows, his shoulders shake.

He turns to look at me and his smile fades. "You don't like those videos, do you?"

I sigh. "They're good, but I like you more."

Kal turns so that he's laying on his side. "Any videos you" -he yawns- "Sorry about that, I-"

As if it's infectious, I yawn too. "I'm sorry too."

We chuckle.

I can feel my eyelids drooping, and so I blink fast to prevent myself from falling asleep. "Are you 

tired, too?"

Kal nods. "Let's just rest our eyes for a little, yeah?"

I take his phone and lock it before placing it on his bedside table. "Sounds good."

Kal smiles. "Feels good."

I chuckle at the 5 Seconds Of Summer reference and let my eyes close as I tug the pillow a little closer to me.

"You can have it all to yourself," Kal mumbles.

I suppress a yawn. "I prefer sharing it with you."

I fall asleep with the thought that Kal's chest must be the best pillow in the entire world and the anticipation to find out sometime soon.

"I KNEW IT!"

Christopher's shriek makes me nearly jump out of my skin. I glance at Kal, who's now awake as well, as if to ask what are we going to say, but he only half-smiles and shrugs.

When I turn around, I see Christopher looking down at us with a smug smile. "I knew it," he repeats.

"Knew what?" I ask.

He groans. "Don't play dumb. Let me be happy that my ship has finally sailed!"

Kal slaps a hand against his forehead. "Don't talk like you comment on the Percy Jackson fanfiction you read."

Christopher lets out a dry laugh. "You mean the fanfiction you recommended to me?"

A smile spreads itself on my lips as I poke Kal's shoulder. "You read fanfiction?"

"Read, past tense," he says dismissively.

"Red, like his face," Christopher says with a chuckle and I can't help laughing along. "I'm so texting Eliza about this," he says as he takes his phone from his pocket.

My face falls. "Please don't!"

"Too late! See you later!"

Kal looks at me. "Eliza won't tell anyone, and I'm pretty sure Christopher won't tell anyone else, don't worry."

I shrug. "It's fine. I mean... We're not..." I frown. "Are we?"

Kal shakes his head. "No, unless... The guys might not be happy about it."

I bite back a smile. "I know Olivia, at least, will be happy."

I can see Kal is struggling to keep a smile on his face.

"We talked the other day and we're good again," I explain. "And" -I look around as if someone might be eavesdropping- "she told me she doesn't hate you."

Kal smiles, but it's easy to see it's forced. "I... I have to go."

I frown. "This is your house."

He chuckles. "Yeah, I have to go somewhere else."

My smile fades. Did I say something wrong?

"It's..." He scratches the back of his neck. "It's a stupid thing, really. My parents insisted I go to a doctor about..." He sighs. "It's gross."

Rubbing his shoulder, I ask "What's going on, Kal?"

"I... Sometimes I have trouble keeping the food in my stomach. When it's a lot. Like, the day we made pancakes? Yeah, I couldn't..."

My chest tightens. "Kal, do you... Do you force it out?"

He shrugs. "Not anymore."

I pull him closer to me for a hug. "It's going to be okay." My chin is resting on his shoulder. "I know you can get through this."

He sighs. I can feel his chest moving up and down.

"In case I didn't tell you, I like you. Like, a lot," I say as I pull away but keep my arms around him.

He grins. "You must be blind."

I roll my eyes. "Shut up, you're gorgeous."

Kal? It's almost time

"I like you more," Kal says before giving me a chaste kiss and getting up from the bed. As if on cue, his mum opens the door.

"Kal, are you ready for-" She smiles when she sees me. "Summer, I didn't know you were here."

"Hi, Mrs. Hadley," I reply, mentally preparing myself for confrontation.

"I'll be in the living room in five minutes, Mum," Kal says.

Mrs. Hadley nods and glances between the two of in a not-so discreet way before leaving, closing the door behind her.

"I should get going before she thinks-"

Okay, Christopher, maybe you were right.

Kal and I lock eyes and chuckle.

"Too late for that," he says.

I sigh. "Okay, time for my walk of shame."

Thankfully Christopher is the only one I see before leaving the house, and his teasing is limited to a "Ah finally the two lovebirds realised they belong together" to which I reply "Say more like that and I'll bring Lucky with me next time".
As I'm walking down the street, texting Olivia to meet me at my house, I almost bump into the one person I desperately want to make amends with.

............

A fluffy update because I needed time to plan what happens in the next chapter and... cmon, it was a cute break, right? I wanted to show the awkwardness of it all.

We're so close to the ending! I can't believe it. If it wasn't for NaNoWriMo I'd still be halfway through, and if it wasn't for your support, I would have stopped writing this. So thank you all <3

thank you gif here bc I figured out how to comment gifs soooo---->