You and Eren laid beside each other on top of the roof of the cabin furtherest from everyone. You had spent most of it talking but once the two of you started noticing less and less stars, the rest of time was spent in silence.
You weren't really sure why both of you got quiet but you knew it had to do with the fact that the two of you were dreading the sunlight touching the final star in the morning sky.
You eyed it intently like if you stared at it, it wouldn't disappear. If you looked away even for a second, it would leave and you would be forced to get off this roof.
Eren stared at it too. But you weren't sure exactly what he was thinking. Was he hoping it would disappear already or was he like you and praying it wouldn't?
It was almost strange. You used to not withstand being near Eren. Now for some reason, that's all you wanted to do. He brought you this odd sense of comfort.
You turn to look at him and try to read his face for the answer. He turns his head too and looks at you. "What?"
"Nothing. Just making sure you didn't fall asleep." You quickly lie, turning your head back to the sky.
And just like you had predicted. The star disappeared the second you turned away. You felt a pang of disappointment. Maybe he won't notice.
"The last star is gone." Eren points out. He sits up and clears his throat. Well, so much for that.
"Ready?" He asks. You sit up and try to hide your expression by weakly smiling. "Yeah."
He stands up and sticks his hand out for you to take. You do and he lifts you up until you're standing up beside him. Your mind searched for excuses to come up with to stay up here but you realized that if he also wanted to stay up here, he wouldn't have gotten ready to leave as soon as the star disappeared. Now you just felt annoying and clingy.
He hops down from the roof and you stand at the edge. "Jump. I'll catch you." He says, arms stretched out wide. You shake your head. "Why? You don't trust me?" He frowns.
"Not really." You reply.
He turns around and points to his shoulders. "Get on my shoulders." You bite your lip. "You're gonna drop me."
He rolls his eyes. "Hurry up woman." You let out a whine but do as your told. You grab on to his hands and throw your legs over his shoulders. You wobble a little once you're on and you instinctively grab his hair for support. He hisses. "Don't pull my hair."
You snort. "What? You don't like your hair being pulled?" He turns his head to the back to look up at you, a smirk gracing his face. "During sex, yeah. But this isn't sex, is it?"
He turns away from you and you're so grateful for that because your cheeks started to burn. He starts walking and you bounce along with him on top of his strong, broad shoulders. You could feel the muscle flexing under your thighs.
You weren't sure if it was from him laying on the roof or from when you accidentally pulled his hair but you noticed his hair was slowly slipping out the hair tie.
"Want me to fix your hair?" You say, wrapping your hand around the loose bun. "Sure." He answers. You slip his dark hair out the hair tie and slip the tie on your wrist. You run your fingers through his surprisingly soft hair.
You honestly were caught off guard by how silky his hair was. It was much healthier than yours and you were lowkey jealous of that. You catch a whiffs of it here and there and it smells really good too.
You begin collecting all his hair into your palm and pulling the tie around until it forms his signature small bun. You never really cared for guys with long hair but he definitely could 100% pull it off.
"Don't fall asleep and drop me. I know you get sleepy when people play with your hair." You say once you're done, referring to the night of the hotbox when Sasha was scratching his head and he was practically about to knock out. You remember how peaceful he looked and how it was the first time you ever saw the soft side of him.
He laughs and then pretends to snore. "Very funny." You scoff. He stops moving and drops his head like he's asleep. Wait. He's not actually asleep, right?
"Hey, dummy." You lean forward, turning your body slightly to the right to look at his face when he suddenly leans forward, taking you along with him.
You scream as you see the grass get closer and closer to your face. Before your head hits the ground, you twist your body to the side so that you fall to the side and not forward. He grabs your arm so that your landing isn't too rough and howls with laughter.
"Ow! Idiot!" You say rubbing at your elbow that broke your landing. He falls on his knees so that he's now on the ground with you, holding his stomach, dying with uncontrollable laughter. You cross your arms and patiently wait for him to stop with a straight face.
"Whew." He wipes fake tears from his eyes. "I wish I wasn't the only one who saw that." He catches your facial expression and pouts, sticking out his bottom lip. "Aw. Did the little baby get scared?"
You roll your eyes and turn away to pretend to be mad. He brings his cold hands around your stomach and chills shoot up your spine. "I'm sorry baby."
Your heart stops for a moment. Baby? Did you hear that right? You turn to face him again and his eyes glisten as he gives you sad puppy dog eyes. Your heart was beating so painfully slow.
The two of you lock eyes, his face only a finger distance away from yours. You were stuck in a trance. You weren't sure if this was actually happening. Your heart was barely beating and your breath was heavy and slow.
"Did you just call me baby?" You manage to choke out. He chuckles and brings his hand to your cheek. The other still resting on your side. "What? You don't like me calling you that?"
You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. You were speechless. "If you don't say yes or no, I'm gonna call you that again." He says his face slowly inching closer to yours. The closer he got the harder it got to breathe. It felt like there was an invisible hand around your neck prohibiting you from speaking.
"Baby." He says right in your ear, his thumb that belonged to the hand that caressed your cheek snuck its way to your lips and glided across them. Why couldn't you speak? Why couldn't you move away?
He's playing you. A voice in your head echos. Your heart drops. You completely forgot who was in front of you. Part of you actually didn't forget. You knew about Eren's reputation, it's pretty damn hard to forget. But honestly, you just thought maybe it was different with you. You were sure that's exactly how the other girls felt too. Girls just like Mikasa and Historia. Girls like Hitch. Your heart hurt even more now.
You pull away from him finally and stand up. "Don't call me that." You say while wiping your lips with your sleeve. He looks up at you and sighs. "Here. You dropped your phone when you fell."
He hands you the phone as he stands up. You grab it from him and begin walking. You press on the lock screen to check the time and once the screen lights up, you see you have a message.
Eren walks a few steps ahead of you. You stop walking and try to figure out if the message in front of you is actually real or a figment of imagination that your mind created from lack of sleep.
Eren turns around when he realizes you're not walking behind him. "You good?"
"My stepsister texted me." You say rereading the message again and again. "Pieck?" Eren asks walking back to stand beside you.
"I only have the one. Yes." You reply.
"Okay, smartass. What did she say?" He says standing close to you and looking at the screen.
"She wants to grab lunch tomorrow." You say turning the phone slightly so he can read it. "You gonna go?" He asks once he's doing reading.
You shake your head. "She never asks me to hang out. Like ever. She probably is up to something or wants something. Plus, I work after school anyway."
"When is your next day off?" Eren questions.
"Tuesday. But I'm not going." You clarify. "You should." He debates. You knit your eyebrows together. What was he not understanding that you didn't wanna go?
"Why?" You ask taking a step back. He steps closer, closing the newly formed distance. "Why not?"
You step back again. "I already told you that she probably-" Eren snatches your phone from your hand and begins typing out a message to Pieck.
"Hey!" You yell and try to grab the phone back but every time you try to, he either turns quickly or lifts it up above his head. "Here." He gives you back the phone and you look at what he replied back to her.
Pieck
Pieck: Hey, are you free tomorrow? Let's grab lunch.
Y/n: I have work but I'm free Tuesday
You smack Eren's arm and groan. "Why would you do that?"
He laughs at your small tantrum. "Don't you wanna see what she wants?" He asks. "No, not fucking really." You respond dryly.
The two of you begin walking again and as mad at him as you were right now, the closer the two of you got to the cabins, the sadder you got. You honestly didn't want to stop hanging out with him.
Once you reach the two cabins across from each other, Eren stops walking and turns to you. "Well, I do."
You glare at him. "You're nosy. Why do you wanna know so bad anyway?"
He shrugs. "I'm too invested in the soap opera that is your life. I wanna know everything that goes on."
Your mouth drops open. "Wowww. Well I'm glad I amuse you."
He laughs and pats your head. "You do a lot more than just bring me amusement." He turns around and begins walking back to the cabin.
"Huh? Like what?" You ask him as he glides further and further from you. He doesn't respond nor turn. "Hey!" You yell. He spins around with a finger to his lips. "Shhhh. Don't be rude, people are still asleep."
You scowl at him in which is responds back with a big smile, his perfect white teeth shining. He climbs up the steps and you sigh. It really was over. Now back to reality. You twist around and climb up the steps to the girls cabin as well.
You creep back into the cabin, trying your absolute hardest to not make any noise. Now that the sun shined through the windows, you could see the people laid up in the beds.
Sasha was missing and you're pretty sure her and Nic did not hesitate to take advantage of one of the empty cabins. You see Annie in her bed as well as Ymir and Historia in their own as well. It didn't surprise you that they weren't sleeping together considering Historia said she wasn't ready for anyone to know yet.
Mikasa also was in her own bed which surprised you. You honestly would've thought she was off with Jean.
You crawl into your bed and as soon as your head hits the pillow, you're dead asleep.
Sasha wakes you up a couple hours later. A massive smile stretched across her face. You rub at your eyes and blink at her confused. "What? What time is it?"
"Who knows but I have to talk to you about something!" She forces you out of bed and pulls on your arm, dragging you out the cabin. She slams the door open and runs through it but the door comes back around slapping you in the face. "Ow! Sasha, chill!" You yelp.
She drags you all the way out to the lake and pushes you down so you can sit on the ground. She sits down next to you. The bright sun burned your eyes furiously. You probably looked a mess. You didn't even get a chance to brush your teeth or even wipe away any eye boogers you had. Let's not forget you probably had a major case of bed head.
"So. I slept in one of the cabins with Nic last night." She giggles. "I figured because I didn't see you last night. How was it?" You ask digging your nail in your eye duct to get rid of any little eye boogers.
She squeals. "We had like the best sex ever! I don't know if it's cause we both drank or maybe it's cause we both waited for like years for this to happen but omg y/n, it was incredible!"
You laugh. "Is he good with his hands? Since he's a chef and all?" Sasha grabs your face with both hands and looks you dead in the eye. You force your mouth shut just in case you have morning breath. "Y/n. You have no idea."
You were happy for her, you really were. Especially because out of everyone, she deserved some good dick. But you couldn't help but feel a little bitter. You haven't had sex in months and the closest thing you got to any was with Jean and it didn't get that far. Even he got some last night with Mikasa! Let's not forget Historia and Ymir. It seemed like everyone was getting some besides you.
"I literally devoured his dick like I'm pretty sure I gave him the best head of his life." She continues. You gasp and burst out laughing. Of course the chef is good with his heads and the glutton is good at putting things in her mouth. You weren't surprised at all. "Sasha!" You slap her arm and she laughs along with you.
She throws her head back and lays down on the damp earth. She lets out a sigh. "I'm so happy y/n. I've been in love with him since like junior year." She has a big smile on her face, a soft pink color resting on top of her cheeks. Her happiness was contagious.
You smile at her. "You can tell the feeling is mutual. He's probably jumping on his bed right now." She sits up and covers her face. "I usually don't have patience for much but this was worth it. He's finally mine."
Your heart ached. You wanted to be in love like that. You've only been in love once and it was the most toxic, suffocating, abusive type of love possible. As much as you miss the feeling of someone being yours, you were genuinely terrified. You never wanted to experience pain like that again.
"By the way," Sasha sits up. "Are you good at giving head?" You choke on your own spit, she caught you so off guard. You cough and she giggles. "I like to think I'm pretty good." You admit.
"Have you ever made a guy cum from just head?" She asks scooting closer. "Yeah a couple times I think." You answer.
You hear the sound of grass crunching under heavy footsteps and you spin around and see Connie approaching you and Sasha by the edge of the lake.
"Oh no, don't stop on my account, I loved what I was hearing." He grins and takes a seat beside the two of you. "Very informational."
Sasha rolls her eyes. "Don't be gross." He shrugs and looks at you, his face contorting. "Why do you look like that?" He asks. You cover your face. "Sasha literally dragged me out of bed over here. I didn't even get a chance to fully wake up."
Sasha hits his head. "You're being rude! You're supposed to say she still looks cute." He rubs at his head. "I mean she does look cute but she also looks crazy."
You remove the hands from your face and glare at him. He leans forward and you immediately suck your lips in so he doesn't smell your breath. "Good thing I like crazy girls." He smirks.
Sasha kicks him. "Why are you and Marco so obsessed with her?" Connie turns back to look at the brunette. "If you were a guy you would be all over that too, shut up." He snaps. Sasha throws her arm around you and winks at the boy. "Oh I'm already all over that. Right babe?" You nod.
Sasha pulls away and lays down on her stomach, her elbows digging into the ground and her hands holding up her face. "But....If you had to choose between Marco and Connie, which would you choose?"
You feel a slight flutter in your stomach. You honestly wouldn't mind either. Connie was super funny and a sense of humor is sexy, nobody can deny that. He was also hot. Always smelled like cologne and weed. Had a habit of laying his head in your lap that you found super adorable.
Marco was super flirty and charismatic. He was also super attractive, his freckles made him look even better. You don't hang out with him as much as Connie so you don't know him as much but the times you have been around him have been fun. Plus, he seems like the type that would show you off to the world.
You laugh to yourself when you remember they're both Jean's bestfriends. To make things worse, Marco is his roommate. The old you would have chose Marco on purpose just so Marco can you bring you over to the apartment and you can rub it in Jean's face. Part of you still wanted to do that. But you knew it would just create even more unnecessary drama. You were lucky you even made it out alive yesterday.
"Why not both?" You lean back on your elbows. Sasha's mouth opens up. Connie pushes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "Oh?" He smiles.
Sasha sits back up again. "Y/n, you dirty, dirty girl." She genuinely looks amazed. "She has two holes for a reason." Connie laughs. You and Sasha both gasp. "EWWWW CONNIE STOP!" She yells.
"Three if you count the mouth." He adds. "Who would the third one be?" Sasha asks. Suddenly someone's face pops in your head.
You instantly shake that picture out of your head. "No one. I'm not gonna get a train ran on me. That's insane." You say. You look at Connie and wink. "But maybe with just one..." You joke.
Sasha slaps her hand over her mouth. "Oh my god." Connie's mouth drops open. "Please tell me you're not joking." He whines. You laugh. "Am I?"
He stretches his arms up in the air. "I'm not good at sharing anyways."
You shake your head as you laugh and stand up. "Where you going?" Sasha asks, her big eyes looking up at you. "I'm gonna go brush my teeth and change. It's hot as fuck out here." You answer. "I'll be quick."
You start walking back to the cabin and see people slowly starting to walk out. You have no idea what time it is but based on how bright the sun is shining down, it's probably 12pm or 1pm.
Before anyone can spot you, you rush into the restroom and make yourself look more presentable. Connie was right, you really did look crazy.
You washed your face, brushed your teeth, fixed your hair and changed into clothes. You exit the restroom and see the cabin is now empty so you assume everyone is already outside.
You hop down the stairs and the first person you see is Jean, exiting the cabin in front of you. "Good morning." He says once his eyes meet yours. You hated how feelings for him still lingered. I mean you knew that they wouldn't go away automatically but it was painfully annoying how slow they were fading.
"Morning." You say back. "How did you sleep?" He asks you. "I slept fine, you?" He runs his hand through his hair. "I actually slept pretty amazing."
You scoff. "Yeah. I bet."
He frowns. "Huh?" You laugh and shake your head. "Nothing. I got to go." You start walking back to the lake and he chases after you, stepping in front of you to stop you.
"Are you mad at me? I thought we squashed our beef." He asks. You look at him, your face strained. Was he really asking a dumb question like that?
"No." You say flatly. "Then why are you acting like that?" He asks stepping in front of you again when you try to step to the side. Now you were getting annoyed. "Jean. Move."
He grabs your arm and takes you to one of the empty cabins and closes the door behind you. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" You snap.
"I don't want you being mad at me." He says sitting on the bed. "A little too late for that, don't you think?" You respond. He sighs and leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, hands covering his face.
"Can you pleaseeeee just tell me what I did wrong this time?" He mumbles into his hands. Why was he trying to act stupid? You stand in front of him. "You had sex with Mikasa, didn't you?"
His hands slide down from his face and he looks up with you, pupils vibrating in place. "Don't even try to deny it." You say. "Is this what this is about?" He finally asks.
"No. I'm happy for you. That's what you wanted right? Since the beginning. I mean that's why you used me right? To make her jealous? It worked? Glad I could help." You say looking down at him. He says nothing and you scoff, spinning your body around to exit the cabin when he stands up and stops you.
"I wasn't using you." He says softly. You bark out a laugh. "You were though but you got the girl so who cares." You start walking out the door again and he grabs your hand. God, what does he want now?
"I really did want you y/n but you seemed like you didn't want me." He says. Anger filled every vein in your body. "Are you kidding? Please say you're joking. I didn't want you?" You growl. "I literally only wanted you! Everyone knew I liked you."
He looks down at his feet. "I saw you that night with Eren. At the fair. I saw you guys on the rides together, on the ferris wheel, in line, by the restroom." You dig your nails into your palms. "What the hell are you talking about? He was just my ride partner. And by the restroom? He was just protecting me."
He shakes his head. "Even before that. At the bonfire, you went out of your way to find him in the dark ass forest to just give him a s'more. Even at 7/11, I saw the way you looked at him."
"7/11? What? How was I looking at him?" You snap. You try to recall back to that night. You remember how he was copying your movements on the other side of the aisle and how it made you smile. How it was the first night he was actually nice to you and made you look at him differently.
"I don't know how to explain it but it was different from how you look at me." He says finally looking up from his feet and up to your eyes. The two of you just stare at each other. "That's not true." You say quietly. Honestly, you weren't even sure if it was or not.
"Then he kissed you at the fair. And I know he was doing it to help you but.." He trails off. "I saw everything. I saw your face when he kissed you. I saw how you kissed him back. I saw how you clung on to him. I saw how he immediately became weak when you asked him to stop trying to kill that guy. Then I saw when you cleaned his wounds at the apartment and the way the two of you looked at each other. That's why I got jealous and went into the restroom with you after and told you to clean mine."
You don't say anything. Is that really how it looked like from an outsider point of view? It didn't seem that way. "That kiss didn't mean anything." You repeat.
"Think about how you felt when he kissed you." Jean says. You do. You remember how he caught you off guard and how you wanted to push him off you but you didn't. You told yourself you didn't push him away because you knew he had to make it believable but now that you think about it...
"Now think about how it felt when I kissed you later that night." He continues. You do that too. You remember thinking finally. You were glad it finally happened. But he's right. The magic wasn't there. Eren's kiss felt straight out of a movie. Felt electric. Jean's felt satisfying but like something was missing.
You look down at your feet. Jean lifts your chin up so that you're looking up at him again. The two of you lock eyes and it's dead quiet for a moment.
"Just in case you forgot." He kisses you and you try to focus on how it feels. His lips were soft as they always were. You remember that part very well. It felt good. But again, there was something that was just missing.
He pulls away and his thumb glides up and down your cheek. "It doesn't feel the same, does it?" You sigh and look down at your feet again. He chuckles softly and kisses your forehead. "I saw you guys on the roof this morning too."
Your eyes jolt open. You look back up at him again. He smiles gently. "It's okay." He moves hair that stuck to your face to the side. "That's how I feel about her."
You felt your heart sink. You knew it was gonna hurt but you didn't expect it to hurt that much. Almost like he notices, he embraces you in a hug.
The two of you stand alone in the middle of the empty, quiet cabin. His arms still wrapped around you. He suddenly cranes his neck to the side of your head to whisper something in your ear. "Too bad you and him will never happen though."
You freeze for a second. You can't see his face but you just know he's smiling. "You know, unless you want everyone to hate you and then have no friends." He pulls away and you were right. There's a smirk on his face. "I'd say you'd still have your roommate Hitch but," His grin somehow gets wider. "She'd hate you too."
You slap his hand away and you tremble with anger. You wanted so badly to go off on him but he's right. They would all hate you.
He laughs at you. "You didn't think you'd come into this group and just have everything go your way, did you?" You step backwards a little. "Shut up Jean."
He steps closer to you. "Am I wrong?" You dig your nails deeper into your palm, you were sure it was gonna leave crescent shaped marks there for a while.
"Yeah you are. I don't like Eren." You grit your teeth. "Oh? Doesn't seem that way." He steps even closer. You step back and you bump into the wall. He towers over you, looking down at you, a sinister smile on his face.
You refused to let him feel powerful over you. You may be smaller and weaker than him, but that's just physically. Mentally, you were different.
You smile and look up at him. "No. I don't really like anyone actually. But you know who has been catching my attention lately?" You tiptoe so that now the two of you are nose to nose.
"Marco." You whisper. His grin drops and he looks at you like he wants to murder you. A tiny bit of you is scared but you refused to show it.
"You wouldn't fucking dare." He growls through gritted teeth. "Oh?" You pout. "But he's so cute." You mock him and bring your hand to his cheek like he did to you. "Well. If not him. Connie." You bat your eyes innocently and smile.
You bring your mouth to his ears, your lips grazing his lobe and sending chills up his spine. "He always smells sooo fucking good."You say into his ear.
He moves his face slightly to look you dead in the eye. "They wouldn't go near you after I messed with you."
You laugh. "Looks like you don't even know your own friends as well as you think you do."
He releases your grip by pushing you away, the back of your head hitting the wall behind you slightly. "Don't fuck with me y/n." He twitches with anger. You laugh at him and fix your hair. "No. You don't fuck with me, Kirstein." You grab the door handle and turn back to look at him. "You don't really think you're the only one who is good at manipulating people to get what they want, do you? I can have everyone in this place wrapped around my finger."
He shakes his head at you. "Eren changed you." You howl with laughter. "This has always been me. I just stopped trying to pretend to be someone I'm not." He stares at you in disbelief. You can tell he really did fall for your innocent, sweet act you had put on.
"What's the matter baby? You don't think I look pretty like this?" You grin. He says nothing, standing still in shock. And just like that, you're out the door.
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