Author's Note: The challenge? Write a vampire's rant in 200 words.  But I wanted to do three!  My idea was to make three 55 word rants (I'm a sucker for 55 word stories) Word Count: 200

The three vampires gathered for their normal Friday night rant. Molly went first.

AfterNight

"When I say goodnight, the proper response isn't: it's six a.m.! Kali-forbid, I wake up, dash to work, and cheerily greet everyone with good-morning; unless, I want them to think I'm a crack-cake! I must wait until after my B negative lunch to utter that phrase. Finally, why do we say afternoon but not afternight!"

"That reminds me," Heather said.

Ancestry

"It was just afternight, when this blonde customer compliments her super-blonde friend on her amazing cheekbones. Super-blonde says my great-grandmother was like full-blooded vampire! I wanted to just yell bull spit! I knew that chick. Was she wu-wu in the head? Maybe. Vampire? Not! I wish this fad of claiming vampire ancestry would just end!"

"This is worse." Clara said.

Nazi's

"Have you seen these arses running around claiming that they are superior to everyone else because they lack melanin in their skin? Yet if they're so superior, why are they using Hawaiian tiki torches in their protests? I assure you that their lack of melanin doesn't make them taste any better than any other human!"

The other two agreed, then ate their Nazi treat.