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⇒ Levanter Apartments 
3:30pm

The pair of lips pressed up against his closed ones didn't even seem to make sense in that moment. His mind, too occupied with assumptions and heartbreaking predictions, could in no way focus on the slender arms that hugged his neck while leaning over either of his shoulders. His eyes, they were too locked in a gaze at the few taped, as well as empty boxes lining up several parts of the room, rather than the constellation of freckles adorning his lover's face.

Felix had packed. Without him. Without calling him. Without at least informing him that plans were changed or, at least saving him the mental struggle of having to hide the slight hurt that he felt when his hopes were let down like that- so suddenly, so unexpectedly. Because there was absolutely no way that his pregnant boyfriend did all of that work all by himself, in such a short space of time.

So Hyunjin didn't kiss back, and Felix couldn't even innocently dwell on such unenthusiastic reaction from his partner because he knew- he knew it stung. He knew that Hyunjin was looking forward to such bonding time and, maybe he couldn't sense the very extent at which the older's expectancy led up to but, he had an idea. So he pulled away, small frown forming on his lips as they parted to speak, while his fingers played with few strands at Hyunjin's nape.

But the older spoke up first. His tone was heavy and, his eyes, they were glossy. And reluctantly, his hands lifted to find Felix's above his shoulders, deep sigh leaving his lips as he brought them down slowly, with second thoughts of reversing the gesture weakly scolding his subconsciousness. "Lixie... Is this why you said we couldn't go out last night?"

Felix shivered at the slight shake sounding in between his partner's words, and his arms couldn't help but find and fold at his back when they were brought down fully. His head lowered and, his lips quivered with their own deep breaths at the realistic confrontation. "I- He offered to help and... I couldn't just turn it down. You know how it is-"

"Why?"

"Wha-"

"I actually don't know how it is, so tell me why, Felix. Why did you turn down a date with me to pack your stuff with your ex, after we had already spoken about me helping you?" Hyunjin closed his eyes as he paused, jaw clenching and one hand lifting to massage his nose bridge. "You know what- forget it. Never mind. You all got everything packed, right? So I assume you're ready to start bringing some stuff over?"

Pouting and shaking his head softly, Felix waddled over to his bedroom, motioning an arm to indicate that Hyunjin should follow, and trying his best to not let his guilt get the best of him- trying his best not to end things right then and there... trying his best to keep Hyunjin as his for a little while longer.

"It's not... a lot. I don't have a lot of stuff so, just a few boxes with my clothes, pictures, textbooks, and some kitchenware... the boxes out front. But we- I- we didn't finish packing all of my clothes and stuff yet..."

Sighing and running a hand over his face, Hyunjin nodded, lips thinning into a line and arms briefly lifting in the air as if to signify his comprehension. "Alright. Well do you want to finish now? Or would you rather bring some stuff over to your new place?"

"Uhm... could we bring some now, and then the remainder tomorrow? Like after I drop the key to my landlord?" Felix asked skeptically, tone low and eyes gazing down at his bare feet as his toes wiggled ever so anxiously against the tiles. "That's if you'd be willing to make two trips..."

"Wait but, didn't you just say it's not a lot? Why can't I just help you to finish up now, and get everything done today?" Hyunjin arched a brow as he spoke, cheeks puffing out childishly and fingers idly tapping against his jeans. And he could only scoff sarcastically when Felix stayed silent. It was obvious. He didn't want Hyunjin's help. He wanted the anonymous ex's help. And again, such realistically implied conclusion hurt like hell. Hyunjin's chest physically stung and, his knees they- they felt weak.

His eyes brew some more tears and, his throat- it went dry, but still, he had to speak. He had to verify Felix's obviously internal implications stating that he knew what was going on- he knew that he was losing him, or probably already lost him, but simply wasn't ready to give up just yet. "Oh, let me guess. You wanna- you want to do it with him, don't you?"

"Hyune... it's not like that-"

"Then what is it?"

"I- bonding? I mean, he apologized. And he wants to be in their lives... so he's trying to help."

"Lix... this isn't their life. It's yours. There's a difference between providing financial support for your children, and helping you pack to move into an apartment when you have a boyfriend." Hyunjin pursed his lips as he paused, legs carrying him forward to make the task of cupping the younger's freckled cheek easier, as well as the distance between his lips and his lover's forehead for a soft kiss, shorter. "I love you, Felix. And I understand if you're still not ready to say it back but, I mean it. And I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you... So it hurts when you don't keep your word-"

"Hyune-"

"It- it hurts, to feel like I'm losing you. And I don't want to dwell on that feeling too much since he apologized like two nights ago... But you're making it hard, Lix. We're the ones in the relationship, so I don't get how you need to bond with him." He frowned before leaning in to kiss Felix's lips, heart melting when the boy kissed back and, butterflies fluttering in his stomach when the smaller hand found and tickled his nape. Then they pulled apart slightly, breaths warming up each other's faces and, eyes gazing ever so deeply into each's respective soul.

And Felix's gaze was somewhat, scared. It was uncertain as to whether or not it should dig so deep into that of the male that cared for him so, so much- it was scared that Hyunjin's was skilled enough to decipher its unsettled state and see that there was no love there; not even an empty spot to welcome and maintain anything more than a platonic relationship- scared that it would so easily sell out his true love for another man, and completely lose the one that'd keep him going until everything was guaranteed for his and the twins' future.

But Hyunjin didn't see anything. He knew it and, he could, unfortunately, sense it but, with a gaze so fueled by a genuine love for the shorter, he couldn't see it, most probably because he did not want to see it. He did not want that painful confirmation with overthought vision so, he didn't look for it.

So sucking in another breath, he leaned in to kiss Felix again, that time deeper, nipping at his lower lip for access and wasting no time before slipping his tongue in. And they stayed like that for a while, just kissing, lips moving in sync, with equal muscular effort, yet one-sided love.

And then Hyunjin pulled away, a string of spit still connecting their lips as his other hand lifted to cup Felix's empty cheek. The small smile resting on his face just seconds before faded, completely, and his eyes welled up with tears. "Felix."

"Y-yeah..."

"I love you."

"I-"

"But I'm breaking up with you." And the tear dripped down his cheek... followed by another... then another. Sighing at the frightened silence of the younger, he leaned even closer so that their foreheads could press against each other, and then he kissed Felix one last time. "I love you so fucking much but, you won't love me, Felix. And I refuse to watch myself be hurt like this any longer..."

"Hyunjin-"

"It's best for us both, Felix. And you know what? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just fucked up and overthinking things but, I think it's obvious, Lix. It's only been two days since his apology but, it's obvious... You hardly reply to my texts although you're always online... You've hardly even called for the past week... You've- you clearly prefer spending time with him more than me. And I don't blame you for it. I don't hate you for it. And maybe, just maybe I should stick around in this relationship just incase you come through but, I can't. I'd get attached to them," he dropped a hand to gently poke at his lover's- ex's clothed stomach, a seemingly endless salty waterfall streaming down his cheeks and, heart breaking at his own speech as well as the tears flowing down and over Felix's freckles.

"Them, Felix. After being hurt like I was in the past, in a situation not like yours but, similar pregnancy wise, I can't take it again. I can't grow to love a child, only for them to not be mine, again. But don't get me wrong, I'll still help in any way that I can... It's just, we can't be together. Because I'll only be broken again, in the end."

With his own sobs increasing in volume, Felix swung both arms around the taller's shoulders, despite the slight tip toe that he had to maintain. And he cried into Hyunjin's chest, heart shattering at the fact that it's own selfish decisions were enough to break the loving blonde down so much, and spit-coated lips parting to sound a valuable apology. "I'm sorry," he started softly, voice raspy yet audible, and head pulling back to be able to look up at the older more comfortably. "I'm sorry for leading you on, Hyune. You've been nothing but good to me. You came out of nowhere and just picked me up at my lowest. You showed me what true love is, and I hate myself for not being able to give it back. You did so fucking much for me, Hyunjin. You were there for me when literally nobody was. Fuck, you deserve the world. And I wish I could give you back every penny that you spent-"

"No. No, never. Everything that I spent on you was from the heart, Felix. I'd never want that back. And I still won't hesitate to help you where needed." Hyunjin interrupted with another soft smile on his face, completely contradicting the tears and mucus that stained his lips, as well as his anxious grip on Felix's waist. "You're not obligated to chose me, Felix. Follow your heart... I'll find someone one day... It's just a pity that people don't always get to chose who they love."

And at that, Felix cried even harder. The very situation that his mind had tried to avoid- had tried to maintain their relationship to avoid, didn't even hesitate to haunt him. The same buckets of guilt that his conscience was trying to dodge, by following his mind's selfish instructions, didn't hesitate to plunge even barrels of the rancid feeling on him. But despite the stinging and burning in his chest, Felix knew that it was for the best. He knew that it was needed to halt any further hurt to the man before him and, he knew that it was mandatory to ease the somewhat split distress of his own heart.

So he hugged Hyunjin tighter, bottom lip almost drawing blood from the harsh nipping of his teeth against it and, slight headache strengthening due to the force of his sobs as well as the guilt welling up in his conscience. "I'm so sorry, Hyunjin. But I'll make sure that they know. I'll make sure that they know what a good person you've been to me and them... and I'll make sure that Hyejin knows who named her..."

"I love you, Felix..."

"I love you too, Hyunjin." Felix sighed, somewhat out of relief, with the honesty in that line, though it was clear that it meant something totally different coming from the both of them. And it irked him how different his was from Hyunjin's, but still, he said it. And he meant it. Hyunjin was a remarkable man- a devoted friend- and the perfect uncle for Noah and Niah. "So... are you still willing to help me finish up? Just to get everything done today?"

"No. Leave that for him... Just call me when you're ready to move the things tomorrow."

"Oh... well... what about work? Do you- do you still want me working at the café? I could stay at the shop you know..." Felix suggested skeptically, lips pouting as he pulled away and, arms finding and stroking the stretch skin underneath his T-shirt.

"Seeing you is always a privilege, Felix. So nothing work related has to change. We're breaking off on good terms so... there's nothing to be afraid of." Hyunjin spoke softly as he rubbed both fists over his cheeks in attempt to rid some tears. Brushing back some strands from his forehead, he made his way to the front door, too scared to look back and confirm the owner of the small footsteps that sounded behind him. Then he spoke up again, voice too shaky to prevent more tears from trickling down Felix's face as well as his and, grip on the doorknob too slack to sell out his genuine eagerness to leave that apartment. "Call me for anything that you need, Felix. And... I'm- I'm still willing to come back... if he leaves again... for good."

-

⇒ Sunshine Apartments 
6:05pm

His cries echoed throughout the calming silence of the room, and he could only be grateful for a friend like Jeongin at his side, tickling his clothed arm with comforting strokes whilst humming the sweetest tune in his ears. Hyunjin was broken, again. His throat was dry due to the unhealthy amounts of water that his body had released just for that afternoon, and the sweatshirt and blanket hugging his body only aided in his dehydration as sweat was forced to moisten the outsides of his pores.

"Don't beat yourself up, Jinnie. I know it hurts. And you do not deserve that at all. Just remember that... you did nothing wrong. You're amazing, and you were nothing but good to him... so please, don't have any negative thoughts about yourself..." Jeongin spoke reassuringly, leaning down to plant a gentle kiss to his dear friend's temple, whilst internally fighting to ignore the small swarm of butterflies that ticked his stomach due to such close contact.

It was not time.

Hyunjin was hurting.

It was not the damn time.

Sniffling and rubbing the blanket over his teary face, Hyunjin nodded against the younger's thighs, snuggling further into the waist of the other's warm body when the more muscular arm found and rested against his own hip. "Thanks, Innie. It just hurts, you know? I wanted that with him... I wanted them with him."

"I understand, Hyunjin. It's just- just a pity that people don't always get to choose who they love..."

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