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⇒ Sunshine Apartments
9:30am

The air seemed dense outside of Seungmin's apartment. Felix was pacing a small section in front of the closed door while Hyunjin, on the other hand, only stood stagnantly to the side to give the boy as much needed space. After all, that really was a big step that Felix was about to take; coming clean to his dear, unexplainably distant friend like that.

With the deepest sigh heaving his chest, Felix finally halted his steps. His face was contorted into an expression of skepticism and even slight fear as tears brimmed to the corners of his eyes. And Hyunjin couldn't help but step closer to hug his boyfriend, carefully though, to ensure that he'd no way discomfort the four-month baby bump.

"You ready, Lix? There's nothing to be scared of. He is your best friend, and even though he's been distant for a while now, it doesn't mean that he does not love you." Hyunjin spoke softly, the small smile lighting up his face as well the light peck to Felix's cheek drawing the younger's own lips up a bit. "And who knows? Maybe a news like this is what he's been missing to, you know, stop being homophobic."

And at that, a short giggle from them both somewhat eased the tension in the empty hallway, and Felix couldn't keep back the urge to lean forward and kiss his lover's lips. The emotion had grown, whenever they shared such intimate moments and kisses. It was no longer one heart that would flutter, and it wasn't only one mind that would be solely focussed on the other.

Felix was finally in. Maybe not love but, a stronger- deeper level of like. When those adoring eyes would gaze down on him, and those cheeks would coat themselves in pink because of him, and when that warm body would console him... he couldn't help it. He couldn't help but begin to fall for the one man that truly cared about him.

It was as if his fantasy was finally coming to life... Like in the beginning? When he had purposefully made himself vulnerable to accept anyone who claimed to love him and his body? Vulnerable to accept anyone who was willing to build a family with his somatic blessing? Felix could not help it.

Yes, maybe Chan was indeed a mistake but, maybe Felix needed that mistake for an angel-like being such as Hyunjin to come into his life. Hwang Hyunjin. He adored him. He looked up to him both figuratively and physically... he could trust him and... he could genuinely work on himself to love him in his own timing...

In other words, Felix could most probably, unproblematically savor the remaining bits of feelings that he had bred for his first lover for as long as he wanted- for as long as he needed- as long as no changes were made and, as long as Chan kept up with that same inconsiderate attitude. As long as such terms were kept unchanged then definitely- definitely, Felix would love him. Felix would love Hyunjin.

"Thank you, Hyune. Now let's knock before he comes outside and sees us standing here."

So with a sigh flaring both their nostrils once more, Felix started calm, audible knocks against the wooden door. His face was slightly scrunched up as if flinching in advance for any future confrontation, and he could only be thankful when those long, comforting pair of arms found and wrapped ever so lovingly around his waist.

And then Seungmin opened. The red color of his eyes was so perfectly yet uncomfortably contrasted by the dark bags that formed just beneath them, and his lips, they were dry; all chapped as if he hadn't been drinking enough water for an unhealthy amount of days. And as if an entire minute had to pass for those tired eyes to recognize the two figures in front, Seungmin spread a small smile, body shifting to the side to let them both in.

"Hey," he started lowly- awkwardly, mentally thanking himself for running a quick clean up in his apartment before both guests showed up at his door with no invitation known to himself. "What a surprise..."

"Minnie," Felix sighed before continuing, eyes once again scanning the melancholic appearance of his best friend as soon as he claimed a seat to the far left of the sofa. "I texted you, didn't you see it? It's been so long since I came by, and you've hardly been communicating, so I was worried."

Sighing and slumping back into his seat on the single sofa while Hyunjin made himself comfortable just next to his partner, Seungmin ran a hand over his face with a tired, barely audible groan leaving his lips. And then he looked up, almost ready to answer until his brows arched at the sight of the two blondes seated so closely together.

"You did? I'm sorry, I was probably in the shower," he shrugged as he sat up to lean more comfortably against the thick cushion, eyes still thoroughly scanning and observing the boys' gestures and occasional stares between themselves. "Can I get you guys anything?"

"N-no... I actually came to talk to you, Min." Felix glanced over at his boyfriend for a bit of moral support before sighing even deeper than his previous exhales. Then he closed his eyes before parting his quivering lips to speak, body leaning further back into the sofa and hand reaching to somewhat lift the hem of his T-shirt. "I'm pregnant."

-

"You see, Lixie? You must trust me more often. I told you he'd be okay with it," Hyunjin giggled softly, breaths of relief flaring both their nostrils despite the fact that Seungmin's reaction was somewhat expected. "And he was even all excited too. Well, after making sure that I wasn't the father."

Chuckling even louder than his partner, Felix leaned further back into the passenger seat, large smile not once shifting from his face and eyes gazing forward as Hyunjin started up the engine. "Yeah, you were right. And you know what I'm happy about most? The fact that he didn't pressure me at all to tell him who the father was."

"Yeah well I mean, that wouldn't be right, would it? Nobody has the right to force you to do or say anything..." Hyunjin's tone recognizably dimmed with that line, and his pressure on the gas-pedal was rather hesitant, as if he were thinking about something.

He had to be thinking about something.

He was thinking about something...

"But, Lixie..."

"Hm?"

"We're in a- in a relationship, right?"

"Yeah..." Felix hummed skeptically, smile somewhat dimming and heart-rate quickening at just the mental assumption of a coming confrontation. "Something wrong?"

Sighing and picking up a more civil pace as they neared the highway, Hyunjin spoke up again, lips trapping in between his teeth and one hand lifting from the steering wheel to push some hair back from his face. "N-nothing's wrong. It's just- I'm not forcing you to speak before you're comfortable or anything like that but, we're in a relationship- we have been for a few months now. And by the way things are going with this baby I- I don't think that either of us plan on breaking up... right?"

"R-right..."

"And in a relationship, there's trust and honesty... No secrets between partners-"

"Hyun-"

"Wait, Lix. Just me just finish. I'm not trying to force you into telling me who the father is right now but, at least in the future. Maybe you're waiting for our trust to build more and I don't mind but, I just had to bring this up. It's a relationship. And people don't keep secrets... in a relationship."

With lips that were smiling just few seconds before quivering, and eyes blankly staring out of the clear window, Felix couldn't help the tear that slipped down over his freckled cheek. His lips forced to part to speak but, nothing could even be sounded. His throat felt dry and, his mind felt so, so full- too full to organize the flow of any word or sentence.

Hyunjin was right. And he knew it. He knew that his lover was just being truthful and realistic while he just sat there, only thinking about himself. He knew that his partner had a lifelong plan for their coming family, and he knew that Hyunjin already loved him but just wasn't saying it in attempt to take things slow, yet he only sat there, with no sincere love filling in his heart for the older and, no mental outlook for any sort of permanent family with Hyunjin.

And it was funny because, just few hours earlier, standing in front of that door, he was almost sure that he'd arrive to that place of emotional surety at some point- very soon. He was so sure that Hyunjin was the one that his younger self had dreamed of, and that Hyunjin was the one that his heart had truly wanted in the first place but, reality. That question, so dreaded yet needed was nothing but a reality check.

It was internally unbelievable how even a thought of the famous artiste could conflict his feelings so much. It was just baffling how Felix could still love a man like Chan after being hurt so much.

"I- Hyunjin I know. I'm sorry." He coughed with his sobs as he spoke, and Hyunjin couldn't help but rest a hand on his thigh to at least aid in the calming of his nerves; said male had forgotten how emotional Felix had become due to those hormonal changes. "I'm sorry for hiding for so long. I promise that I'll tell you soon... I'm sorry for being such a bad boyfriend."

"Hey, Hey, Felix. Don't ever say that, okay? You're an amazing boyfriend, so don't ever think otherwise. And don't feel pressured to tell me either. I just wanted to get that off of my chest and bring it to your attention. I really didn't mean to make you cry."

Sniffling and reaching for his bag in the backseat to collect a few napkins from its pocket, Felix dried up all of his tears before blowing his nose as lowly as possible, blushing out of embarrassment when a slight, teasing chuckle could be heard from the man at his side. "Don't laugh, Hyune."

"Sorry sweetie." Hyunjin smiled even brighter, other hand lifting from Felix's thigh to meet the wheel again as he took a corner ever so carefully. "Now cheer up, okay? Let's go find out the gender of this baby."

Giggling and lifting his cheeks to show those lovely wrinkles of his eyes as he smiled, Felix relaxed in his seat once more, eyes gazing out at the busy streets and one hand tickling his partner's clothed knee with slight hesitance yet a bit of confidence. Then he spoke up again, that time with the most bubbly voice as if all fear was gone for a moment- as if that pregnancy felt like the best time of his life, just for that moment. "If it's a boy, Noah. If it's a girl-"

"Hyejin..."

"Hyejin."

-

⇒ FAM Maternity Clinic
12:30pm

"Good morning, Mr. Lee, and Mr. Hwang." The nurse welcomed rather professionally as both males made their way the small room. Felix squinted at the bright light illuminating the space as well as the abnormal levels of anxiety coursing his veins, while Hyunjin held on to his hand ever so supportively. "Please take a seat here and tell me, how have you been feeling since your last appointment?"

Nodding and laying down on the narrow, sheet-covered bed according to the gestured instructions while not once lightening his grip on his partner's hand, Felix sighed before speaking, small shivers periodically leaving his lips as his eyes scanned the bright space just as before. "Not bad, Dr. Park. I've been okay, normal based on how you said I should be feeling." He paused to inhale deeply as the sound of a pair of gloves being pulled over skin with so much friction somewhat echoed against the chart-covered walls of the room. "And, as I said before, you can just call me Felix."

"Yes, and me, Hyunjin. We don't need so much formal treatment," the older added the last line jokingly, smiling at the way his words were enough to relax his lover so much as to lessen the suffocating grip on his hand.

And the nurse only chuckled in response, head lifting to eye them both before completely refocusing on the task of gently lifting Felix's shirt to feel up his stomach. "No problem," she spoke softly, mentally recording the sensations under her fingers before turning over to the machine. "And you two, can just call me Jihyo."

With that same soft smile plastered on the female's face, she reached for the ultrasound gel to spread some on Felix's tummy, letting out a sweet hum to reassure the boy that everything was going to be okay. And then she collected the transducer from its post on the machine, nodding and glancing up an the two males before starting gentle, cautious strokes with it all over the lower sections of Felix's gelled stomach.

All eyes focused on the screen. Hyunjin was smiling the brightest as if it were his seed growing in there and Felix, he was sniffling. Tears trickled down his temples and his hand instinctively gave Hyunjin's another tight squeeze; not from anxiety that time, but from a feeling of contentment. That was his baby-

Baby.

Baby?

"Wait..." Jihyo paused and, her brows lifted with the pursing of her lips. She placed the transducer at different sections even more slowly than how she had started and her smile kind of... dimmed. But not a bad dim. A dim of focus, as if she wanted to giggle and grin out of joy but only after she was sure of something. Then she spoke up again.

It seemed as though she was sure, when she said that line. Too sure. Too certain for Felix's comfort. Too definite for Felix's finances. Too established for Chan's pride...

"Felix, oh my god!" The way at which her cheeks lifted with her words were a bit... too broad for Felix's mental suppositions in that moment. But she kept up. Her eyes remained glued on the screen and so did Felix's, and so did Hyunjin's. "Twins. You two are having twins!"

"Wh-"

"It seems like it wasn't picked up on your first appointment so I apologize for that. And... from what I can see here... you're having boy- a boy... and a girl."

Smiles faded; all except for Jihyo's. Awkward silence contradicted the beaming light in the room, making the sound of the running machine to be the only indication that there was life inside. Felix's face distorted into an look of pure shock, disbelief and disappointment that not even he knew he could work up.

Twins...

He couldn't do it.

He knew he couldn't do it.

Even Hyunjin knew he couldn't do it. After struggling and crying so much at just the thought of having one child, how could he maintain two? How could he raise and care for two children in that one-bedroom apartment? How could he feed and clothe those children with barely any income? How in the world could he be there to groom his own kids while laboriously working several jobs just to keep them alive?

He didn't think that he could do it, honestly. So Felix cried. He broke down and, though such sudden tears were a fright to the jovial nurse, Hyunjin knew why. So he leaned down to plant few kisses to his boyfriend's cheeks.

"Is something wrong? These don't seem like tears of joy..." Jihyo pouts before cleaning and setting the transducer aside as well as wiping the cold gel off of Felix's stomach. "I- I don't want to pry or anything like that but, I'm concerned. Is there any way that I can help?"

"N-no, thank you. We'll just leave and pay up at the front desk. Thank you very much." Hyunjin forced a soft smile before standing, holding on to Felix's shaky waist so, so tenderly- lovingly, as he stood to walk. "It's gonna be okay, Lixie. We can get through this. I'm still here... I'm not leaving."

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