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⇒ JYP Building- 3racha Studio
9:45pm

"Chris." Changbin called rather harshly, voice raspy and tongue smacking against the roof of his mouth. He mentally sweared before proceeding with the confrontation, arms folded firmly against his chest, and eyes not once leaving his superior's side-profile. "Chris, it's been over a month already, and you're yet to even mention what we spoke about."

Running a hand over his face in attempt to calm the aggravated state of his nerves, Chan gulped thickly, eyes rolling to the back of his head and tongue itching to sound any line that would convince the other to just leave him be, no matter how disrespectful or inappropriate it seemed.

It was just frustrating, that moment. After making such a knowingly pathetic effort to contribute to his unborn child's life, and being faced with a still hurt and unaccepting Felix just the night before, all Chan wanted to do was sulk in the comfort of his music, not put up with Changbin's interrogation.

So sucking in the deepest breath with a low groan, Chan shifted to lock eyes with the younger male, small, sarcastic smile forming on his face, and eyes narrowing as if to mimic Changbin's expression. "I'm still thinking about it. Now can we please talk about this tomorrow or any other day? We have work to finish."

"Chris are you being serious right now?" Changbin scoffed loudly, eyes rolling to the side and one hand lifting to slide over his face. He leaned further forward before continuing, elbows prepping against his knees and gaze almost forcing Chan's uneasy one to meet his. "We had a deal, remember? I swear it's not that hard, Chris. Nothing his hard about apologizing then moving on-"

"Changbin I just cannot deal with this right now, okay?" Chan groaned with his words, eyes brimming tears, and what started off as a slight headache only worsening. "I cannot focus on that right now. I have enough going on, so just leave me alone. I'll get back to it."

And the younger could only scoff a second time at his superior's attitude, eyes narrowing in a mocking manner and lower lip almost bruising from the sudden, sharp bite against them. Face scrunching into a sarcastic expression, he sighed before speaking again, head shaking and arms once again folding against his torso. "What the hell could you possibly have going on, Chris? Tell me, what fucking problem can you have that makes it so hard to just say sorry to your fans? Or is this just another sorry excuse for your pride, hm? Tell me!"

That was it. Chan couldn't take it anymore. From Changbin's inconsiderate nagging and assumptions, to the frustrating amounts of incomplete work on his laptop, to the recent argument with the carrier of his child, Chan could not take it. So he banged his fist against the wooden surface of the table, the violent vibration of the items and equipment laying on it not at all phasing his rage, and gaze finally meeting the other's; that time with more force and certainty.

"Changbin don't fucking talk like that. You don't know half the shit that I go through. You don't know half of the shit that I think, or half of the things that's coming my fucking way." He stopped to breathe, headache at its peak and mind too overwhelmed with the task of pouring out all of his plights in such an ignorant manner to stop and filter the information before letting it be sounded.

So then he lifted his tongue to continue, eyes closing with the coming statement, and fists clenching even harder- as hard as humanly possible. "You are in no damn position to make assumptions about my life. Because you're not the fucking one who has a baby on the way. You're not the fucking hypocrite here. You're not- fuck." Chan halted at the unintended confession that sounded with his rather aggressive dismissal- he shivered at the recognition of his own self-sellout by his ears, and suddenly, the pair of eyes that his were piercing with so much force just seconds before seemed too... intimidating.

Then he sensed it; the sudden density of the aura between the both of them in that studio.

Regret.

Silence.

Tension.

The only components of the murky ambience surrounding the two males, and Chan had no choice but to let the tears that he was holding back flood down and over his hidden dimples. How could he be in such a chancy situation, yet still act with such stupidity, right? How could he become so angry as to let such vital, confidential, life-changing information slip? How could he risk his career like that- how could he make the very confession that he wished would be rid off of the very surface of his ex-lover's tongue?

No section of his mind could answer but, whatever the reason may have been, the point remains that he did it. And as much as his mouth went dry with heavy breaths as he tried so fruitlessly to suck back in every syllable of that sentence uttered in that space, nothing could be done. It was irreversible. Changbin heard and, the only open door amongst other closed ones was practically bludgeoning him inside to give a proper explanation in attempt to make the entire situation make some sense.

So with eyelids stretched wide open, lips parted in disbelief, and eyebrows raised to top off his befuddled expression, Changbin gulped before breaking the silence, mind not even able to grasp, or believe, rather, the older's sudden, clearly unintended words. "A baby, Chris? You got somebody pregnant?"

Gulping with a slow, hesitant nod, Chan choked out a sob. Coughs lifted from his throat and, his face scrunched as more tears stained his cheeks. The cries that were undoubtedly suffocating his strong facade over the past few months just could not stay back anymore. It was too much. His chest heaved and, his hands lifted to shield his doleful mien from the male before him; the mucus running down to his lips only making named task much more difficult and even... bogging.

And Changbin didn't know what exactly to do, honestly- seeing such a seemingly emotionally-untouchable man like his leader break down so deeply and easily before him. Thinking twice, he stood to near the male's side, crouching slightly and bringing a hand to stroke Chan's back ever so comfortingly. Feeling the muscular body shake and shiver under his touch was kind of scary, to be honest- were things really that bad, as to bring somebody like the Bang Chan to his breaking point in-front of another person?

It was heartbreaking, and Changbin couldn't help but frown and hum the softest, lowest tune. He didn't know what to say or, rather, how to say anything that could be deciphered mentally among his unsure thoughts. Nothing seemed proper, for the time being. That was- it seemed to just be the time to let the elder cry- to just give him that chance to release all of those clogged up frustrations no matter how long it took- just, give Chan a chance to let go.

With the sounding of another set of sniffles as well as the clearing of his throat, Chan finally mustered up enough courage to speak up, cheeks tinted red from embarrassment and one hand shifting from his face to politely lift Changbin's off of his back. "Don't pity me," he spoke softly, voice throaty and headache somewhat calming due to the liberation of so many tears and emotions. "Just- don't do it."

Raising both arms in defense and making his way back to the sofa, Changbin looked down at his clothed thighs anxiously as he sat, fingers fiddling with each other and throat boasting its movements with his gulp. "I- you really got somebody pregnant, Chris?"

"Mhm..."

"Uhm... is she- is she your girlfriend or something?"

Silence; that time, even stiffer and tenser than the first. Chan gazed down at the white pair of socks hugging his insteps and ankles, tongue poking at the inside of his cheeks, and conscience scolding all parts of his tired mind that were responsible for its abnormal levels of duplicity. "It's not a- it's not a she."

And at that, Changbin shot his head up, expression of empathy and confusion contorting into one of pure shock and disbelief. The same leader who had publicly repeated so many homophobic slurs- the same leader that was so reluctant in apologizing to the public for all of their mistakes pertaining to such topic, had impregnated another guy? The implausibility of such confession was even enough to temporarily mask the relevance of the main topic- fatherhood as a young, famous idol- into one of mere inanity in order to direct all of Changbin's concern onto the subject of who Chan got pregnant.

But then again, who was Changbin to even speak up about? Being in a secret, equally hypocritical relationship himself, he knew that he couldn't do or contribute much- he couldn't rebuke someone in a similar pair of shoes as him, despite the fact that the other's were undoubtedly, ridiculously larger. And he couldn't even dwell on the intrusive thought of sounding an insult because, the older man was clearly at his lowest point and still, such approach would knowingly be incorrect either way. So all Changbin could do was... listen- understand...? Give the best advice that he possibly could and probably help devise a way forward, if Chan was willing to comply.

So clearing his throat, Changbin parted his lips to respond, tone low and eyes once again finding and sticking onto his sweaty fingers. "I- I genuinely don't know what to say. How do you plan on taking care of that child?"

"Well I didn't-"

"What?"

"Key word, didn't. I- I swallowed my pride... kinda. It's a responsibility that I have to keep up with so, I'll just contribute money now and then." Chan shrugged as he sniffled, reaching over to grab a few napkins from one of his drawers. "I'm not together with the guy anymore so... it's the most that I can do."

Despite considering consequences of his intended question if sounded in that evidently unsettled atmosphere, Changbin couldn't keep the rather judicious question from slipping past his lips, eyes closing as if to prepare himself to flinch at whatever harsh words Chan would sound back. "I- how could you have been so careless though?"

Chan only shrugged, surprisingly, sighing deeply before slowly yet wholeheartedly telling his story. But one thing though, said male couldn't help but feel slightly uneasy at the younger's receptiveness to such deed. Because, it was a child. It was that much of a big deal yet, Changbin was so understanding- willing to listen, as if he'd experienced something similar before...

Oh.

That's it.

Those words sounded by the younger male when Chan had completed his rant- those words, so unexpected and shocking yet somewhat fitting, made them both to shudder in their seats. Yet still, just as Changbin was in no place to judge the superior, so was Chan unable to even comment. They were both hypocrites- the entire group, was made up of hypocrites. So after a night of such outleted frustration, and a deeper understanding of both their dilemmas, neither thought that it was time to confess to the public.

And despite how selfish such decision may have still seemed, at least it wasn't powered by pride as before... but rather fear- fear that they'd lose their careers, and possibly risk the chance of no income, thus making it almost impossible to contribute to the development of the leader's child. Maybe such excuse was still pathetic and not well thought out but... fear is a drug, isn't it?

A drug, so addicting and persuading that it could deftly initiate Chan into the belief that 3racha's downfall would be inevitable if they even attempted a public apology- so deadly and poisonous that it could suppress the small group into such, hopefully temporary, mental bondage, keeping them secluded in that lifestyle of mere hypocrisy; nothing more, nothing less- so deceiving and mind-controlling that neither of the two could decipher the root and depth of such feeling, and see that pride was indeed still there; just more carefully masked and, blended in so perfectly with their stereotypical mindset.

What a shame, wasn't it?

-

⇒ N/S Corner Store
10:15pm

"Hyunjin, what are you doing here?" Felix questioned cautiously as he sat his tired self up in his chair, eyes scanning the gorgeous male before him as well as the white, tied plastic bag in his had. "And what's that?"

"Well... since you missed work yesterday... and didn't reply to any of my texts... I figured that you might have to work extra tonight... so I brought you food." Hyunjin smiled sweetly, placing the plastic bag on the counter and untying it ever so carefully. "It's homemade... since you've been craving some weird stuff these days. I tried to live up to that."

Chuckling at his lover's efforts, Felix stood to stand in front of the counter more comfortably, blushing at the way the taller somewhat slowed his movements to maintain an adoring gaze on his baby-bump. "I- Hyune," he tried to talk through the heat on his face but, such task wasn't as easy when a hand swiftly creeped over the low barrier to touch and stroke his clothed stomach so, so softly- lovingly. "Hyune..."

"Hm?"

"What'd you make?

Giggling lightly before returning his focus to the bag, Hyunjin pulled out a plastic container of cooked rice with few sausages as well as a small bottle of mayonnaise, eyes lighting up even more at the way Felix practically squealed at the uncommon combination. "I heard you mention it yesterday on our way home so... I hope you still crave it? And there's peanut butter as well. I- you didn't say you wanted it but I did some research and saw that it's a common pregnancy craving...?

And that was all it took for a fun-sized pair of arms to engulf the older's torso over the counter, as well as the softest pair of lips to smash so tenderly against his. Hyunjin audibly cooed at the satisfactory response before kising and hugging his boyfriend back, chuckling when Felix wasted no time before pulling away to open up his meal.

"Thank you so much Hyune. Thank you so, so much. I didn't even eat dinner, so-"

"What?"

"Huh? Oh I was saying thank you because I didn't eat-"

"No- no I heard just... you didn't eat anything before coming here?" Worry swung in the sweet key of Hyunjin's tone as his legs carried him to the other side of the counter to cup Felix's cheek with one hand. "Why, Lixie? It's like ten o'clock already... You have to take care of yourself..."

Frowning and placing a palm over the hand that rested against his right cheek, Felix looked down subtly, expression forming into one of slight shame and reluctance yet perceptible guilt. "I'll be fine, Hyunjin. Sometimes I just don't have the time..."

"Felix no. No, Felix. You have a baby growing inside of you, so at least think about it, if not yourself. This night job is stressful enough as is... so the least you can do is take proper care of yourself." Hyunjin frowned as he looked down at Felix's feet, toes wiggling in his own sneakers as if communicating with the other's. "Lix... be honest with me..."

"Mhm..."

"Is it that you don't have time...? Or is it that... you don't really... have much to make?"

Silence.

"Lixie... talk to me."

Silence.

"Lix-"

"Hyunjin can you go?"

"W-what?"

"Just, if you're not buying anything, please go." Felix spoke louder that time, eyes filling with tears and lips quivering in an uncomfortably violent manner. "Thank you for the food and... I guess I can call or text you when I get home."

"Felix-"

"Hyunjin... please. I don't want to talk about this right now."

Puffing out a deep breath and thinning his lips into a line, Hyunjin nodded in defeat before making his way back around the counter, heavy feet boasting some patently hesitant steps. "Just, take care of yourself, please. I'll bring you food everyday if I have to. And don't think it's a problem because I would love that, honestly. Please don't ever be scared to talk to me."

With tears already streaming down his cheeks as he opened up the bowl of rice, Felix squeezed some of the creamy topping at all sections of the grains before stuffing his face using the chopsticks that Hyunjin had also brought along. "Alright Jinnie," he muffled as he ate, eyebrows furrowing as he tried his best to cry silently. "We'll talk later."

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