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⇒ Levanter Apartments
6:30pm

"Since when don't you want me over?" Seungmin asked for the third time, eyes narrowed, lips pursed, and hands folded against his chest. "What are you not telling me, Felix?"

"Min, you're making it sound like I don't want you around," Felix whined with a pout, hands folded into a mocking clasp as he made puppy eyes to further persuade his friend. "I just need some alone time to finish studying for my exam. You know I like to to get it over with quickly so I can have a bit of time to relax before everything," he lied quite plausibly, and though the unusual, deceitful speech was not a norm in the patterned rolls of his tongue, they were the only thing that could justify his "reasoning" for agreeing- proposing, the idea that a famous person should visit his apartment at such late hours. "Just understand, Minnie. I'll call you, I promise..."

"Fine..." Seungmin pouted childishly, scratching the back of his neck with hesitance before heading for his bag and cellphone in the living room. Walking back up to the older, Seungmin cupped the boy's cheek, kissing his forehead lovingly and smiling. "Take care of yourself, okay, Lix? Don't hesitate to call me if you feel overwhelmed... and don't push yourself too much."

"I know... thank you," Felix returned the soft smile before hugging the taller, huffing out a heavy breath that he didn't know he was holding in when Seungmin finally exited the apartment with a wave. "Chan... you better be worth it..." he mumbled lowly, crosschecking the time on his laptop on the table before making his way to the bathroom, his steps slurred and heavy with skepticism.

-

⇒ N/S Corner Store
11:04pm

Sighing deeply, Felix stood up from his post behind the counter, glancing out of the building with the routined look of disappointment on his face. "I doubt he's still coming," he muttered, fingers reflexively tracing the freckles littered along his cheeks as those overthought insecurities recolonized his senses. Seeing on the clearly overused wall clock that it was already closing time, the blond packed his things from the counter, chin quivering as he made his way to the front.

"Felix..." the desired voice finally sounded after a night filled with Felix's personal pleas, the younger shooting his head up at the recognition. "You maybe thought I ditched you, but I just decided to come later because I knew what time you'd be leaving. And look," he collected a red, somewhat flat box from underneath his arms, waving the item in the air with the brightest grin on his face.

"Uno?" Felix spoke lowly but happily, cheeks mirroring the actions of the dimpled ones in front. "You brought Uno?"

"I told you I'd bring board games," Chan giggled, motioning his arm towards the door, Felix nodding continuously in response. With them both making their way out to the front of the building, and Felix shuffling a bunch of keys to lock the door, the older's eyes scanned the area reflexively, the shadow of an unidentified passerby snapping a very reasonable thought into his head, kicking out and claiming the spot of those desires that aimed for a "lovey-dovey" walk with the cashier in that thought-abiding space. Clearing his throat, Chan scratched his nape childishly, his other hand fiddling idly with a corner of the box in its hold. "Uhm... Felix?"

Sighing out of relief upon finding the correct lock for the door, Felix turned to face the older, the moonlight illuminating his freckles into a golden color, somewhat showing them as glitter scattered along his cheeks. "Hm?" He hummed, smile slightly dimming when those dimples hid in the latter's cheeks. "Is something wrong?"

"N-no, nothing's wrong... but if your place is a walking distance away... we can't walk side by side," Chan gulped with the statement, the hand at his nape finding its way to lay stagnantly at his side. "And if it's by bus... then we definitely can't enter together..."

Lips curving completely into a frown, Felix tilted his head to the side, eyes already glossing while his heart almost plunged face-first onto the ground that it trotted. "What do you mean?" He spoke lowly, voice raspy, holding a bit more than subtle hurt. "Did I do something?"

"No, of course not," Chan tried to smile, reaching a hand to cup the younger's cheek, stroking a thumb over the decorated skin. He stayed like that for a while; quiet and intensifying their eye contact, his self-made, selfish, "experimental" list seemingly nonexistent for those few seconds.

Just for those few seconds, the cashier seemed too precious to hurt or use for self-validation. For that short space of time, the faded audio of hollering fans ceased in his ears, just as the dim images of hundreds of thousands of hands waving supportive posters and banners in the air erased itself to get that clear, unbothered view of the blond in front.

Realizing that he was losing himself a bit too much in that mutual gaze, Chan shut his eyes tightly, hand still cupping the boy's cheeks, faded images and low audios in his head reclaiming their rightful positions. "You did nothing wrong, Lix. It's just, what you said about scandals... we can't risk it- we can't risk, being seen together. So it's better if we keep our distance in public..."

With a pout still resting on his face, Felix looked down, cheeks unintentionally reddening at the manly touch that remained on their surface. "O-oh," he spoke softly, stroking a palm over his other arm. "Well, I guess I understand... it's a good thing my place is within walking distance from here... so you'll just follow... if you want."

"Don't be so sad, Felix," the older hummed, once again stroking the soft skin underneath his thumb, seemingly enjoying the action even more than the other. "It's to protect us both, and I'm so grateful for your understanding... for even keeping me as your friend after finding out who I am... for being so open with me."

Blushing unintentionally, Felix turned his head to the side, only nodding a few times in response. "Well follow me," he said, resting a hand against the older's on his face, thinking twice before dragging it down slowly. "It's not a long walk."

-

⇒ Levanter Apartments
11:25pm

"Chan, you literally have a hood over your head. Why are you still so shaky?" Felix furrowed his brows as he fought with the lock of his apartment, huffing out a breath when the door finally opened. "No one is around at this hour, and even if there is anybody near, who says they'll recognize you..."

Sighing out of relief and sliding the black hood back from his head, Chan swallowed thickly, a hand prepped into his pocket while the other kept a grip on the board game. "You can never be too precautious," he spoke with a small smirk, already making himself comfortable as he claimed a seat in the living room. "This is a nice place you got here. All warm and cozy~ I like it."

"Mhm," Felix hummed as he rested his items on the dining table, running a hand through his hair before speaking again. "The rent is hard to keep up with though. Anyways, can I get you anything? Water? Beer? Leftover brownies?"

"Brownies?" Chan's head perked up over the couch, eyes hungrily scanning the kitchen counters not too far away. "You have brownies? Of course, I want brownies." He chanted like a toddler on their birthday, and Felix could only chuckle at the adorable gestures.

"I see you like brownies very much," the younger teased as he pulled out a plastic bowl, half-filled with the chocolate treats, from the refrigerator. Laughing even harder when Chan rushed to his side in the kitchen at the sight, Felix held a brownie up in the air, smile dimming into a blush when the older unhesitatingly held his hand in place before taking a bite with the most satisfied, relaxed, contented look on his face. "I- I could've laid a few out on a plate for you, C-Chan."

"I'd much rather them right here," Chan ate more of the snack in the younger's hand, licking every crumb from in between those small fingers, carefully observing the boy's reaction to ensure that he wasn't surpassing his limits. Pulling back and licking his lips, Chan smirked at the more than flustered boy before him, almost giggling at the sight. "But if you want to share them on a plate, then I'd be honored."

Staring blankly at the fingers that were just coated with the tongue of the idol in front of him, Felix swallowed a lump in his throat, cheeks beyond red and heart suddenly finding a clear, smoothened shortcut from the unsightly, wearying path to journey. "I- I... well Uhm... let me- let me prepare it for you then."

-

⇒ Sunshine Apartments
12:55am

Finally regulating his breaths, Seungmin sat up from the older's chest, blushing profusely at the satisfactory smile spread on the man's face. "D-did you like?" He spoke shyly, fiddling childishly with his fingers in front of his stomach.

"Of course," Minho hummed sensually, resting both hands tenderly at the younger's waist to pull him up and comfortably disconnect their body parts. "You never disappoint baby."

Moaning lowly at the movement within his walls, Seungmin laid himself on the man's chest again, sighing at the sight of a used condom being released into the small bin near the bed. "You know," he spoke lowly, just the hesitance in his speech indicating that he knew that those coming words did in no way fit their current mood or naked position. "My time of the month should be some time next week..."

Thanking goodness that his eye-roll was completely invisible to the naive boy on his chest, Minho ran a hand over his face, mouthing a swear before speaking up. "Oh is that so? I hope you're taking good care of yourself..."

"Minho," Seungmin whined, a pout replacing the blush on his face as he sat up once again. "What do you mean take care of myself? Don't you care about my heats?"

Sighing sympathetically to sell his lie, Minho stroked his thumb along the younger's waist, a small, forced smile spread on his face. "Of course, I care," he said, voice low and tone holding an almost unrecognizable level of concern. "There's just not much that I can do, you know? I can't just leave everything behind at once, so us becoming official will take time. But I promise that when we do, I'll be with you to comfort you at all times." His speech was persuasive, varnishing more empty frames in the boy's heart that waited tirelessly and genuinely for pictures and canvases with the one that he temporarily loved to fill them up.

"I understand but... I understand," Seungmin sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair before locking eyes with the other. Those pupils, only able to decipher things of the natural, were too blindly focussed on mere visuals to even notice the lack of attraction in those of the older's. That heart, beating hopefully against his chest, was too naive and inexperienced to see through the endless speeches fueled with pure deceit and manipulation that rolled off of the man's tongue.

And that part of his mind- that part that bred rational decisions and conclusions, was so excluded- outcasted from the ruling section of his subconsciousness, and therefore could not slap some sense into that unavailing heart. Those iron bars of lies and desire, forged from false hope, precluded those dwindling thoughts from raging as a pounding headache- from yelling the most obvious and colored red flag, "Minho is a married man! Minho will not give up his marriage so easily! Minho realizing that he is gay does not mean that he is going to leave his wife for you! Minho. Is. Using. You."

Those words ghosted the locks of the chamber that held them captive, the syllables slurring and flattening along their tongues. But a small spark of their own hope lingered in the darkness of their jail cell. One spark of realization and determination to not give up just yet.

"When he breaks you, it won't touch us. It will bend and rip off the steel barriers that keep us from flowing out," was what the logical department discussed before once again drifting back to sleep, each line slumbering with the awareness that only a hurtful word of rejection from the older man would wake them up.

Climbing off of the older, Seungmin strolled his naked body to the bathroom, wetting and wringing a cloth before making his way back to clean up his lover in his bedroom. "I understand," he spoke softly, tenderly wiping off all drops of his cum from the man's abdomen as well as his. "Do you- do you wanna shower together? Before you go?"

Sighing and laying sideways to collect his phone from the nightstand to check the time, Minho shook his head softly, his hard heart almost swelling at the gloss forming in the younger's eyes. "Don't cry, baby," he tried to speak warmly, reaching a hand out to pet Seungmin's. "I would love to shower with you, but my wife just texted me, and if I take too long, then she might become suspicious."

"It's okay," Seungmin mumbled, clearing his throat, a thin strip of water sliding down and off of his cheek. "Take care of yourself... I'm gonna go freshen up... you can leave whenever you're ready."

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| Han Jisung | 20 years old | J.one |
❝It's not fair... we have to come out to them...❞