CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
the last grain of sand

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NADINE ONLY HAD sixty-four minutes and thirty-two seconds before she was supposed to meet Five and the others in the alleyway, and yet, she was doing exactly what Luther had warned her not to do—she was dallying. Sure, it wasn't like it would take her long to reach the meeting point—all she had to do was go downstairs and out the doors—but if she kept going on like this, there was a very real possibility that she would miss the deadline regardless. The watch fastened to her wrist warned her of this, ticking steadily for every second she wasted, and still, she did nothing but pace back and forth.

When Diego and Luther had left, she'd started to make her way to Molly's room, fully intending to speak to her about Five's sudden solution. She'd only been halfway there, however, when a sudden burst of anxiety had surged through her. Before she knew it, she was back in the living room again, traipsing around in an attempt to burn off her nervous energy.

It was like the night she'd told Molly the truth, but somehow managed to be a hundred times worse. At least when she'd done that, she'd known that even if Molly rejected her, cast her out, they'd be in the same city, the same year. This was different. Now, if Molly decided to stay in 1963 while Nadine went to 2019, they'd be separated by decades. In 2019, she'd either be an old woman or dead.

I don't want to leave her. I can't leave her. Not today. Not when Molly had been the only girlfriend who hadn't abandoned Nadine when she'd learned her secrets. Not when her heart had so much love for her that her absence would create a visible crack. She couldn't. She fucking couldn't.

But she was running out of time. In exactly sixty-three minutes and twenty-one seconds, Nadine needed to be in that alleyway with the others. If she wasn't, she'd be stuck here... forever. She'd never see her dad again (well, at least when he was her dad). She'd never breathe in a world where she could marry who she wanted. Never exist in a society where she could finally become an Ichthyologist, a real Ichthyologist, without anyone telling her she couldn't.

The thought made her draw to a halt and take in a deep, shuddering breath. She had to do this. She had to. She needed to rip the bandage off and just break the news to Molly.

Her eyes went to the dentist chair where Elliott's corpse had previously lain. It was empty, now, both of the body and the sheet that had covered it. Either Diego or Luther had taken the corpse with them when they'd left. They hadn't told Nadine, but she was all right with that. Elliott deserved a proper burial.

If only he hadn't died last night. Then perhaps Molly wouldn't be in such a fragile state.

No, Nadine corrected herself, stepping up to the chair. There were still smears of blood on it, remnants of the gore that had occurred in Elliott's mouth and chest. If only he hadn't died at all. He was weird, but he was kind, too. He let us all stay in his house when he could've just kicked us out. He made us coffee in the morning without being asked. He tried to help us solve the apocalypse, even when he didn't know what was going on half of the time.

Nadine had never been very religious. She thought she ought to be, given that she knew, courtesy of Klaus, that there was something after death, yet she'd always held the mindset that she wouldn't believe in anything until she'd seen it with her own eyes. And although Beau had been Jewish (though not particularly Orthodox), he'd made sure Nadine knew she didn't have to follow in his footsteps. He believed in her to choose her faith for herself.

Still, at that moment, with the watch around her wrist still ticking in warning, Nadine prayed. She prayed for Elliott's spirit, that he would be able to find peace and comfort in death. She prayed that he wouldn't remember any of the pain he'd gone through. She prayed that, wherever he was, he would be whole again.

When she was finished, she opened her eyes, got to her feet, and made her way to the bedroom. There were fifty-nine minutes and thirty seconds before she needed to be in that alleyway, and she wasn't going to waste any more of them.

As she twisted the door open, Nadine found that Molly had finally gotten out of bed. She was dressed, too, wearing a pair of Nadine's sweatpants and a blue-and-white striped long-sleeve top. For once, she hadn't tied her hair back, and her wavy dark locks tumbled down over her shoulders.

However, she was far from put-together. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and heavy purple bags weighed them down. Her hair was frizzy and unbrushed, and her skin had paled, giving her a sickly appearance. The injury she'd achieved on her cheek from the brass-knuckled Swede was still bruised, and a healing scrape sat on the ridge of her cheekbone. Even though she hadn't seen his body, Elliott's death had obviously done a number on her. Apparently, the descriptions of what he'd done through had been enough.

Nadine closed the door behind her and sat beside Molly on the edge of the bed. "Hey, Molls," she said, taking her girlfriend's hand. "Tell me how you're feeling."

She didn't bother with are you okay or what's wrong. Although sometimes she slipped up, she always tried to talk to a distressed person the way she'd want to be talked to, if it were her. That meant no is there anything wrong's when there clearly was. So, she went straight to the punch.

"Like garbage, to be honest," Molly responded, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I'm sorry I've been in here all morning. I just... I just couldn't get myself to leave." She swallowed, then looked up at Nadine. "Do you... have you figured out who did it?"

Nadine nodded. "It was the Swedes," she said. "They left us a message in his—in Elliott's blood. Öga För Öga, it said. An eye for an eye. I still don't exactly understand it. Do they think we took one of theirs? Or are they still pissed off about the fight at the consulate?"

"Öga För Öga," Molly repeated, gliding over the words smoothly. Of course she could say them better than Nadine could. "Hm. I'm not sure. Maybe. I mean, they are assassins. Maybe they were embarrassed to be beaten by you all."

"Yeah..." Nadine's voice trailed off. "So, euh, Molls, I know this isn't exactly the right time to be telling you this, considering that Elliott's just died, but unfortunately, the world seems to fucking hate us. So... God, I just have to say it. Five found us a way back to 2019."

Immediately, Molly's eyebrows lifted. "Really?" she asked, sounding genuinely excited. "That's... that's great, Nads!"

Nadine chewed on the inside of her cheek. She was beginning to develop a sore there. "I know. I know, it should be good news. But here's the... here's the thing." She took in a deep breath and checked her watch. "Molls, we have fifty-five minutes."

"Wh—" Molly's expression quickly changed from excited to confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that... whatever Five found, whatever route he has for us to get back to 2019, it has a time limit. If we're all not gathered in the alleyway beside this place in fifty-five minutes, then we're going to miss our shot. We'll be stuck here."

Molly put a trembling hand over her mouth. "Lord... Nads, you're serious?"

Nadine nodded. "I know. I know. I thought we'd have more time."

"So, what, you're just going to leave?" Molly pulled away from Nadine. Tears began to glimmer in her eyes. "After all we've been through, you're just going to kiss me goodbye and head back to 2019?"

"No." Nadine shook her head vehemently. "No, I'm not. Molls, listen to me—"

"What about the apocalypse?" Molly asked. "The one here? What's going to happen?"

"Five says that us going back to 2019 will solve both apocalypses. But, Molls—"

"Are we ever going to see each other again? I mean, I know I'll be—I'll be older in 2019, if I'm even alive at all, but would... would you come back to me?"

"Molls!" Nadine squeezed her girlfriend's hand. "Listen to me. I love you. I love you. I don't want to leave you."

"But you're going to." It wasn't a question.

"No. Molls. Molls. I know... I know you've been miserable here. John's death, your shitty job, the constant harassment... you don't have to tell me for me to know you hate it. But 2019... oh, it's far from perfect. Rapists still get off scot-free and women are harassed, and racism still spreads throughout this country like a fucking disease, but... there is so much good, too. I've been to pride parades. Pride parades, Molls. They're for... they're for people like us, with sexualities outside the narrow little box society wants to keep us in. They're for people whose genders aren't as simple as cisgender male and cisgender female. They celebrate us, Molls. They celebrate our struggles.

"And in 2019... did you know that I went to university for Ichthyology? I ended up dropping out because of the Incident, but I was well on my way to getting a degree. A degree, Molls. In 2019, no man would've cast me out of the interview room as soon as he found out I was a woman. Well, at least without getting in a heap of trouble. And no man could ever tell you what you couldn't do. You could get whatever job you wanted. Any education you wanted."

Molly's eyes were full now. "Really?"

"Really. Molls. I know this is insane, I know what I'm asking of you. And I know this is totally your choice, and you're free to turn me down if you want to. But... but would you... would you come with me? Would you come to 2019?"

Molly flinched. "Go... with you?"

"Yes." Nadine squeezed tighter. "I mean... God, we could get married. We could have a life together. We could adopt four kids, or just get a fucking dog—whatever we wanted. And I... I can introduce you to my dad and give you a tour of Dijon and maybe show you what a cellphone can do. God, Molls, I know it would be a hard adjustment, but I promise that I'd be with you every step of the way. Because I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you."

Molly released Nadine's hand. "2019..." she murmured. "We could really get married?"

Nadine nodded tentatively. She felt as if her heart might burst right from her chest in her anticipation. "We could. France legalized same-sex marriage in 2013. In the United States, it was 2015. It would be totally legitimate, if that's... if that's something you want to do."

She couldn't stop looking into her imperfectly perfect girlfriend's eyes. Couldn't stop thinking yes, this is right, she is the one for me. After four ex-girlfriends, constant fumbles with love, and the worry that she'd never find the one to her, all it had taken was a trip back in time to meet the one she was meant for. She was meant for Molly. She truly believed that, with all of her heart. Not because of some predetermined course; not fate, or destiny. She believed it, because, despite everything, despite the odds stacked against them by the universe, they'd found each other. They'd found each other, and Nadine didn't want to ever let go.

"What about Nicholas and Donna?" Molly asked after a minute, taking in a breath. There were fifty-two minutes and forty-three seconds on Nadine's watch, now. Still enough time to say goodbye if there was a need to. "What about my grandparents?"

Nadine thought back to Nicholas's kindness, Donna's compassion, Edna and Dan Frankel's love. All of them cared so much about Molly, had shown her such devotion in a world that sneered at it. None of them deserved to lose her without any warning. If Molly was going to leave them behind, she at least deserved a chance to give them her farewell.

"We still have time," she said. "If you want to see them, I'm not going to stop you. But if you're really sure you want to come to 2019, then I'll have to come with you. If you missed the deadline and got stuck here without me, I'd never forgive myself."

Molly closed her eyes, and then nodded. "Okay," she whispered.

"Okay?" Nadine repeated. She was finding it a little hard to breathe.

"Okay, I'll come with you." She opened her eyes and let out a disbelieving laugh. "I'll come with you to the future."

Nadine wanted to leap into the air at that news, but she forced herself to remain seated. Before she could celebrate, she wanted to make sure Molly knew exactly what she was in for. If she was going to uproot her entire life just to follow Nadine to 2019, then she deserved to be certain in her decision.

"Molly, as much as that makes me happy, I want you to be completely sure about this. You really want to come? You're all right with leaving everything behind? I mean... what about your parents? You never... you never really told me anything about them."

Molly turned her head away from Nadine, training her eyes on a chipped fleck of paint in the wall. "My parents are dead. They died when I was fifteen."

"Oh." Well, fuck. "I'm... I'm so sorry—"

"No, no, it's all right." Molly waved her off. "I mean, it's been almost fifteen years since it happened. I've had plenty of time to get over it. I still... I still will want to visit their graves, though. Before we go. And John's, too. They're actually buried at the same cemetery... here in Dallas, not too far away. But... yeah. I think I'd like to say goodbye."

Nadine put a hand to her heart. "Of course, Molls. Of course, we can go. We can go wherever you need, but we'll need to be quick. I hate putting this time limit on you, but you understand the urgency, right? If we miss the deadline, the apocalypse is back on. We'll die in four days. And I... well, I can't let that happen."

Molly clenched her jaw. "I understand," she said. "Don't worry, I'll make it quick."

Nadine couldn't help the tears that welled up in her own eyes. Molly had always been so understanding, but this was on a whole different level. She'd been reasonably shocked when Nadine had first broken the news, but now, she'd just accepted that in an hour, she'd leave everyone forever. She'd accepted that, so long as it meant going with Nadine to a better future. She was amazing. She was crazy. Nadine didn't know how she'd let go of it so easily.

Well, perhaps she wouldn't. Perhaps in 2019, she'd grow homesick for a home she could never return to. Perhaps she'd grow to regret her decision. Maybe even hate Nadine for forcing her to choose. Nadine hoped it wouldn't happen, but she had a feeling that some days, at least, Molly would resent her. Though, really, she had every right to. This had been her decision, but it was made under impossible circumstances. Nadine understood that. And she understood that in taking Molly to the future, she would be responsible for being there for Molly on the days she wished she'd stayed behind.

Nadine swallowed, trying to down that unpleasant thought before it completely took over her mind. She was doing the right thing. She was doing the right thing. Molly deserved a better life. She deserved a better future.

Still, that needling of guilt still twinged at the pit of her belly. Perhaps if there had been more time on the clock, Nadine would've investigated it further. But as it was, there were forty-nine minutes and eleven seconds before they needed to be in the alleyway, and, apparently, they had a lot of travelling to do before then.

FORTY-FIVE MINUTES AND eighteen seconds. They were fortunate enough to have already brought a suitcase. Now all they had to do was tidy it up, pack their toiletries, and throw their dirty clothes into a separate bag before zipping up. Forty-two minutes and forty-three seconds. They ran downstairs to the car, holding the suitcase between them, fast as bullets in their urgency. Forty-one minutes and forty-three seconds. They both slid into the car, and Nadine slammed on the gas. The car screeched onto the road as it headed for their first destination—Nicholas's house.

It was only a five-minute drive, but Nadine's desperation shaved it down to three. She was definitely speeding, but for once in her life, she didn't care. If any fucking cop tried to pull her over, she was going to punch their lights out.

Thirty-eight minutes and fifty-seven seconds. Nadine knew letting Molly say goodbye to the ones she cared about was the right thing to do, but she couldn't help but grow a little anxious. They were moving as fast as they could, but what if they didn't make it? What if Five looked around, decided they weren't coming, and just... just left, and took the rest of the Umbrella Academy with him?

Thirty-eight minutes and forty-nine seconds. Molly ran out of the car, heels clacking, and sprinted right up to Nicholas's doorstep. Nadine waited in the car, keeping the engine running. As soon as Molly slid in here, they'd head out again.

Thirty-eight minutes and ten seconds. Donna opened the door with Jodi clinging to her leg. Through the car window, Nadine watched as Molly said something to her. Donna ducked her head back into the house, obviously calling for Nicholas.

Nadine tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. It would've been nice if she could've said goodbye, too. She'd never been as close to the Gallagher family as Molly had, but their presence had still made a positive impact on her life.

She couldn't get out of the car, though. Even an extra twenty seconds it would take to sprint back to the car, turn it back on, and back out of the driveway could prove to be the difference between reaching the deadline and missing it. So, as Nicholas emerged from the house and was immediately locked into an embrace by Molly, Nadine said her own silent goodbye.

Thirty-six minutes and twenty seconds. Nadine hadn't realized before now just how much time everything took. Buckling your seatbelt was two seconds. Opening a door was three. And although Nadine had never been a very patient person, she'd never felt as if she was in a race against time itself. Perhaps it was because she'd always known she'd have more of it.

Now, though, she was trapped in an hourglass, watching grain after grain of sand fall to the bottom. Now she was being buried, knowing that when the last grain fell and swallowed her whole, that was it. It was game over.

Thirty-five minutes and fourteen seconds. As soon as Molly shut the car door, Nadine took off, skidding out of Nicholas's driveway like she was being chased by the devil himself. They were heading to their next destination—The Plaza Hotel, where Dan and Edna Frankel were staying. This was a longer drive, nearly fifteen minutes. This meant that when they arrived, they'd only have twenty minutes. Twenty minutes to get from The Plaza Hotel to the graveyard and back to Elliott's house. Twenty minutes had never seemed so short.

More grains of sand fell. Nadine was swimming in them, attempting to keep afloat. This seemed impossible. But then again, so had surviving Hazel and Cha-Cha. So had beating the goons at the Commission. So had escaping an apocalypse, travelling back in time, and falling in love again.

Nadine's foot pressed onto the gas, and the car built up speed. It hit the speed limit, but she kept going. Ten miles over. Twenty. Thirty. This was stupid and illegal and incredibly dangerous, but what choice did she have? Ending the apocalypse mattered more than a speeding ticket. She just needed to keep her eyes on the road and make sure she didn't hit anything.

Forty miles over. They were flying now, blowing past the other cars in a blur. Molly screamed, clutching her seat. Nadine swerved, switching lines wildly in an attempt to somehow gouge herself a straight path to the hotel. Tears were burning in her eyes again. Her watch was ticking. The grains of sand kept falling.

Thirty-one minutes and five seconds. "You're going too fast!" Molly yelled, nearly slamming into the car door as Nadine made a particularly sharp turn.

"I'm sorry, but we're not going to make it otherwise!" Nadine screamed back. To her credit, she was trying as best as she could not to hit anything. She did end up clipping the sides of a few cars, but at least no civilians had been rammed into. That was all that mattered.

"I know, Nads, but please be careful!"

Twenty-six minutes and fifty-seven seconds. Holy shit, there it was. Nadine had managed to cut down the drive to eight minutes. She slammed on the breaks so violently they both flew forward. Molly gasped for breath, then, her face pale, ran out of the car. Nadine bit down on her lip instead of her cheek. She was so tense she drew blood on the first try.

Twenty-two minutes and two seconds. Molly came hurrying back down the stairs again, threw open the door, and jumped inside. Her face was streaked with tears, but she seemed to be sharing Nadine's desperation now, as she screamed at her to go.

Nadine obliged, blood spilling down from her lip. It was a six-minute drive from here to the graveyard, and twelve minutes after that to get back to Elliott's. Overall, eighteen minutes, excluding the time it took for Molly to say goodbye to her parents. They were cutting it too close. Nadine needed to start speeding again.

Nineteen minutes and fifteen seconds. They were making good time, flying past everyone and everything, earning themselves a cacophony of honks. But, of course, that was when things went wrong.

As Nadine sped up to forty miles above the speed limit again, barely managing to avoid killing someone, the familiar wail of police sirens burrowed their way into her ears and blue-and-red police lights flashed in her peripheral. Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

"Nads!" Molly shouted. "It's the police! What are we gonna do?"

Nadine didn't have time to pull over. If she did, they were fucking done for. As she continued to drive, trying to think of what the fuck she was supposed to do, the car entered a tunnel. As the world around her darkened, and the police car still blared its hateful siren, Nadine came up with an idea.

"Don't worry!" she said, sweat beading on her forehead. "I've got a plan!"

Deep breaths, Nadine. This was perhaps going to take more concentration than she had at her disposal right now, and more power than she thought she even had, but there wasn't anything else she could do. Eighteen minutes and twenty-five seconds were left. She didn't have a choice. She had to at least try.

The car exited the tunnel, plunging back into daylight. As soon as it was out of shadow, Nadine's hands tightened over the steering wheel. She couldn't close her eyes—she still needed to focus on not getting into an accident—but she could afford to slow down just a smidge and let her body move on autopilot.

While her hands continued to keep the car in motion, Nadine's mind raced backward, attempting to locate the pursuing police officer. She hadn't even known before now that she could do such a thing, not to someone she couldn't see, but she had no time to dwell on it. In seconds, she'd locked onto him—he was still in the center of the tunnel—and painted a picture in his mind. By the time he reached the end of the tunnel—seventeen minutes and fifty-one seconds—it had, at least to him, completely collapsed. Rocks piled on top of one another in a total blockade, shrouding him in darkness. The car rammed to a stop.

Nadine could see both the collapsed tunnel and the road ahead of her at the same time, and it made her mind feel as if it was splitting in two. She didn't know how long she could keep the illusion going. The further she got from it, the more her mind fragmented. She clipped a few more side mirrors and ran over a curb. Her vision started blurring.

Finally, though, the police officer got out of the car. Even though she was miles away by now, she could still see him. The potbelly he sported under his uniform. The shininess of his bald head. The way one wrinkled hand moved to the radio on his shoulder.

With a whimper, she let go. The halves of her mind slammed back together with such a force that nearly caused her to lose control of the wheel. She didn't, though. Because there were only seventeen minutes and four seconds left, and they didn't have time to get into an accident.

They arrived at the graveyard a few minutes later than she would've liked. As she slammed on the breaks, she was struck with an intense feeling of vertigo. The world continued to blur, then spun under her feet, and her mind seemed detached from her body, like she was viewing herself in the third person. Which was why, as Molly stepped out of the car and wove her way through rows of headstones, Nadine pitched forward.

Her head slammed against her steering wheel, sending sharp spikes of pain through her forehead. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Stars exploded in her vision. Everything seemed distant and far away.

Finally, her cloudy eyes flickered down to her watch. Thirteen minutes and thirty-seven seconds. Where had the time gone?

Nadine heard Molly open the door and slide in with her usual swiftness, and she drew her head off the steering wheel. She looked down at the gas pedal. She was supposed to press it, right? She was supposed to go? They needed to leave, right? They needed to reach Elliott's before all was lost.

"Nads?" A moment passed. Maybe six. "Nads, why aren't you going?"

"Molls..." Nadine's mind was as scrambled as the eggs Luther had made for her two days ago. She abruptly unbuckled her seatbelt. "Molls, something... something happened. I need you to drive."

"Nads? Nads, what's wrong? What happened?"

"Please, Molly! We need to go!"

Nadine's fingers fumbled for the door handle. She managed to open it, and to make it to the passenger seat, too. Molly had moved, apparently. Nadine hadn't seen that happen. Though her head was aching so much it was a wonder she could see anything.

As Molly pushed down on the gas, taking off again, all Nadine was aware of was the ticking of her watch. Twelve minutes and forty-five seconds.

Eleven minutes and nine seconds.

Ten minutes and sixteen seconds.

Nine minutes and four.

Seven minutes and fifty-six.

Four minutes and twenty-one.

Three minutes and thirty-two.

At three minutes and seventeen seconds exactly, the car drew to a halt, and Nadine looked up. There was Elliott's house looming above them. She realized dimly that Molly was yelling something at her. She couldn't tell what she was saying. Everything was foggy.

Hands gripped her arm, tugging her out of the car. A suitcase rolled on the ground beside her. Molly's face was tear-streaked and fuzzy.

After that, it was only flashes. Stepping around an excessive pile of puke. Luther's voice, asking, "What's wrong with her?" and Molly's distressed reply being lost to the wind. Sitting propped up against a dumpster, clutching at her head. Tasting copper and feeling static.

And listening to Five's desolate voice right before everything went black.

"We failed."

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HAVEN: hey everyone, i hope this chapter was as stressful for you to read as it was for me to write. oh boy. i wrote the second-half all in one sitting, listening to "the race against time" on repeat, not even getting up to go to the bathroom. it was very important for me to emulate the sheer pressure of the whole situation, so i hope i did a good job!!

thanks for reading!! <333