CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
le petit mort

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BEING IN A CAR with Luther Hargreeves was predictably awkward. Because he knew the way to Vanya's farm, he was driving. Nadine was in the passenger's seat, tapping her fingers against her thigh as she watched Dallas pass by in a rush. She no longer felt openly hostile around Luther—it was clear he had changed—but still, being alone with him dredged up those unwanted memories yet again. And, to make matters worse, it was completely silent. The radio in Luther's car was broken, so Nadine didn't even have music to occupy her swirling thoughts. Instead, she could focus on nothing but the sounds of their breathing, the steady rumble of the engine, and the occasional blink when a turn signal was required.

After about twenty minutes of this, Nadine finally decided to speak. They'd crossed into the countryside now, so instead of the hustle and bustle of the downtown, all around them were open fields and the occasional cow or horse. It made the world feel big.

"So," she began, "Vanya told me you came to the farm a few days ago, to apologize to her."

Luther flipped on the left turn signal. "Yep."

"How did you know where she was staying?"

"Oh, it was a total coincidence." Luther turned onto a new road. It hadn't been paved for a while, and the entire car jolted as it ran over a set of potholes. "A man she's staying with left his wallet at the bar I was working at. He was drunk, and when I kicked him out, he must have dropped it. When I went outside to give it to him, I saw Vanya picking him up. She drove off before I could talk to her or return the wallet, but luckily, I now had his address. That's how I found her the first time." He looked at Nadine. "She really doesn't remember anything?"

Nadine shook her head and balled her hands into fists. "It was a surprise to me, too. When I met her in the cornfield, she didn't know me. She... thought I was someone else. The woman she's nannying for, I think."

Luther snapped his fingers. "Oh, I think I know who you're talking about. She was there in the barn, too, when I spoke to Vanya. Thinking about it now, I guess I can see a few resemblances between you two. You've both got blonde hair and blue eyes, and the skin tone's about the same, too. You're a bit taller, though."

"That's... nice," said Nadine. What exactly was she supposed to say to that? "It just sucks that she doesn't remember us. Or, you know, remember the whole 'end of the world' thing."

"Yeah... why didn't you tell her about that?" Luther asked. "When she was in my apartment, she didn't know that she was the one that blew up the Moon. Why did you keep that from her?"

"Wait, you told her?" Nadine's mouth dropped open. "Holy shit, no wonder she left. Why on Earth would you tell someone who barely remembers her own name that she was the cause of a fucking apocalypse?"

"Because she deserved to know!"

"Not yet, Luther. Not when she still doesn't fully know how to control her powers. What if she'd blown up again? I mean, if someone told me I had destroyed the entire world—and seven billion lives—I'd definitely freak out, even if I didn't remember what happened. How the fuck are you supposed to cope with that kind of guilt?"

"I was just doing what I thought was best for her."

"Oh, yeah? Just like locking her up in that prison cell was 'best for her'?"

Luther's eyes darkened. "Nadine, I know what I did back in 2019 is wrong. Like I told you before, there hasn't been a day that's gone by where I don't regret it all. But this is different. She was going to find out eventually. And I wanted her family to be the ones to tell her, so she wouldn't find out on her own and think we lied. I want to mend things, Nadine. I've made... I've made so many mistakes, and I want to make up for them. Telling Vanya the truth was the first step in doing that."

Nadine slumped in her seat. Maybe Luther was right. "You do have a point," she said eventually. "I just wish I could've been there."

"Yeah, Vanya told me you left. Where were you, anyway?"

"I had to go home," Nadine explained. "I needed to talk to Molly."

"Oh, yeah, that woman from earlier. I don't mean to pry, but are you two, um..." he licked his lips and made a gesture that Nadine couldn't decipher, "...a thing?"

Nadine's fists squeezed tighter, even though she knew that Luther wouldn't judge her for it. As far as she knew, he'd never even had a girlfriend—the first and only time he'd had sex, according to Klaus, was after he'd come home from a nightclub, high as all hell. She didn't think he'd ever even fallen in love. "Yes," she said eventually. "We've been together a year now."

"That's good," said Luther with a nod. "At least you had someone with you, to help you survive all of this shit."

Nadine laughed, but only a little. "Yeah, I guess so."

She wanted to say something else, but before she could, Luther turned the car down a long driveway. "This is it," he said. "This is where Vanya's staying."

There were two buildings. One of them was a house, just small enough to be quaint without being too confined. It was charming, homely. It was the kind of house that promised warm apple pie and quiet nights on the porch. The other building was a barn, painted blue. In front of it was a chicken coop, though it obviously hadn't been locked up very well. A few birds had escaped through the fence, and roamed the driveway, searching for food.

As Nadine exited the car, clothes waved at her from the clotheslines that had been rigged up. She took in the smell of country air with a satisfied inhale. The wide, open fields surrounding her amplified the nostalgia of it all. This was certainly a good place to stay while recovering from amnesia.

"It's nice here," she remarked. "My dad used to take us to my uncle's farm every year when I was little. This place looks a lot like his."

"Yeah," Luther nodded. "Now, let's go. She'll probably be inside."

With a tip of her head in affirmation, the duo headed up the porch steps and arrived at the front door of the house. Luther stepped back, stooping slightly. The low ceiling here did not work for his height.

Nadine knocked, allowing the sound to echo through the house. She expected to be waiting at least a half minute before she got a response, but almost immediately, the doorknob turned.

And there was Vanya at the door, hair tied back into a ponytail, looking surprised at who was on the other side. "Nadine?" she asked. "Luther?"

Nadine raised her hand in a wave. "Hi, Vanya."

"Hello," added Luther hesitantly.

"What are you doing here?" Vanya asked. Nadine shifted. She'd forgotten the way Vanya looked at her now. It was the same way she had on the first day she'd met—like she was a kind stranger she'd exchanged a few conversations with. Something inside her itched, recalling all of the moments she'd spent with her that had been wiped clean. She probably didn't remember Nadine's favourite colour...

"Sorry we turned up unannounced," she said, trying to shove away her discomfort.

"No, no, it's completely fine," said Vanya, opening the door a little wider. "Do you guys want to come in?"

"It's okay," said Nadine, waving her off. "We won't be here long, anyway."

Vanya swallowed. "What... what happened to your nose?" she asked. Nadine understood her concern. She'd seen it in the mirror this morning, and it was just as purple as her ribs. "Are you all right?"

"I'm okay. I just... well, it's a long story."

"Are you sure? I mean, I can get you some ice for that—"

Nadine appreciated Vanya's kindness so much that she almost regretted having to wave her off again. "Thank you, Vanya, but seriously. I'm okay. If it starts to hurt again, I can get some more ice back at Elliott's—that's where Luther and I are staying for the time being."

Luther nodded, then cleared his throat. "Listen, Vanya, I did want to say something to you. I'm... I'm sorry that I yelled at you, back at the apartment. I was—I was angry, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"Don't worry about it," said Vanya, still looking confused. "Is that what you came here to say?"

"No," said Nadine. "It's just... I know that you left the group and all, and I hate to call you back when you don't want to, but... we need your help. The apocalypse is coming in six days, and we're trying to bring the Umbrella Academy back together. We think... we think that if we work as a team—for real, this time—we might actually be able to save the world."

"Oh. Really?"

"She's right," said Luther. "Last time... last time, I didn't involve you when I should have. But this time, I'm learning from my mistakes. I want you part of the team, Vanya, because you deserve to be in it. Because you're one of us."

Vanya chewed on her lip. "Look, I'd... I'd love to come with you, but I just don't know how much help I'll be," she said. "I mean, I still don't remember anything about my life. All I know is what you and Five told me back at the café." She gestured to Nadine as she spoke. "And, well... the other thing." Now her eyes flickered to Luther.

"We can tell you more," said Luther. "We can tell you everything, and you can meet the rest of our family. Even if you don't remember them, I think you'd... I think you'd want to meet them."

"And we'd like you there," added Nadine. "We really would."

Vanya sighed and cast a glance back inside her house. "Okay," she said, after a few moments of deliberation. "I'll come with you. Sissy, Carl, and Harlan are out for the day, anyway, and I really would like to meet the others."

Nadine smiled. "Thank you, Vanya."

When Vanya smiled back, it was almost like old times, where they would be lost in each other's grins, basking in the glows for as long as possible. But everything had changed. They were in a completely different era. Vanya had no memory of what it had been like before. Nadine wasn't sure of her feelings for her anymore, but even if some semblance of attraction remained, it was made void by the fact that she was with Molly. Everything had changed. The smiles dropped too quickly.

"All right then, let's go," said Luther. Nadine nodded and followed him and Vanya off the porch and back down to the dusty driveway.

She looked back to the farm as she slid into the car, and couldn't help the smile that came to her face. Out of all the places Vanya was staying at, she really was glad it was this one.

"Y'ALL KNOW, JELL-O used to be a delicacy," said Elliott, folding his hands together in satisfaction. His eyes were trained down on the disgusting pile of slop he called dessert—apparently, while Nadine and Luther had been out retrieving Vanya, he was busy pouring every ingredient from his fridge into one bowl, creating the abominable concoction laid out on the coffee table for them. To make matters worse, this poor excuse for food was accompanied by six bowls—he actually thought everyone was going to take a portion. Even though it looked like a pile of miniature marshmallows that had been melted down and garnished with vomit. "You know, in order to make it, you gotta boil down a whole mess of hooves... you know, horses, cows, pigs, it doesn't matter. But not everybody has a mess of hooves just lying around. It wasn't until, uh... a couple of sassy New Yorkers figured out how to dry it out so that the rest of us..." he spread his arms, "...could have a chance to enjoy this ambrosia."

It had been twenty minutes since Nadine, Vanya, and Luther had arrived back at Elliott's house, and Five and Allison still hadn't shown up yet. This meant that instead of embracing each other in a long-sought-after reunion, Nadine, Luther, Diego, Molly, and Vanya all had to sit around the coffee table, listening to Elliott's spiel. Diego was polishing his knives. Luther was trying not to show the disgust on his face. Vanya leaned back on the couch, her hair out of its ponytail, trying to suppress her yawns. And Nadine and Molly sat beside each other, close enough that their shoulders were touching.

"If we have some, will you shut up?" Diego asked Elliott.

"Maybe," he replied. "Here." He dug a spoon into the slop, ladling it into a bowl. Parts of it spilled out with a squelch. Luther visibly grimaced.

"Oh, gee, look at that, I forgot I'm not allowed to eat it," said Nadine. "I have a... gelatin allergy. I tried it once, and almost went into an anaphylactic shock. It was totally nasty."

Molly put a hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh. Elliott drooped a little. "That's unfortunate. But at least the rest of you can have some!"

"Yeah, totally," said Diego unconvincingly. He was probably jealous that he hadn't come up with the gelatin allergy excuse first.

Luther, who was still wincing, tried to change the subject. "How are you feeling?" he asked Vanya.

"Pretty shitty, to be honest," Vanya answered. "Though..." she looked to Nadine. "I guess I've been worse."

"Where would you say you are on a scale from one to..." Diego casually flipped a knife into the air and caught it as he spoke, "ending all life on this planet?"

Vanya didn't even flinch. "Really?"

Luther's mouth dropped open. "Diego, put the knife away, you idiot. She's fine."

Diego didn't. He just kept tossing his knife into the air expertly and said, "The last time I saw this one, she had me suspended midair, sucking the life out of me with energy tentacles." He caught the knife and pointed it at Luther as he spoke. "I think I'm allowed a little time to process."

"Energy tentacles?" Molly repeated, eyes wide.

Elliott, who had continued to fill the bowls with Jell-O while Diego spoke, leaned forward. "Oh, I would love to see an energy tentacle."

"No, I don't think you would," Nadine murmured. Although she didn't fully blame Vanya for the attack at the Icarus Theatre, her experience of having the life physically pulled out of her hadn't been a pleasant one. She settled a hand on her chest, remembering the sensation of the white light pushing through her skin, sinking past bone and muscle until it reached a more abstract piece of her.

Vanya sat up. "I don't remember what I did," she began, "but I'm sorry. If... if that means anything."

"Of course it does," said Nadine. "You lost control. We all do that sometimes."

Diego stared at Vanya for a second, and then dropped his knife-wielding hand. "Nadine's right. It does mean something. I'm just going through a lot right now. There's this... girl that I like." Nadine knew he meant Lila. "I thought she liked me, but turns out that she's..."

Before Diego could finish, the sound of the door opening downstairs rang out, and familiar laughter entered the room. Nadine's heart leaped. Allison.

"Oh, thank God," Luther murmured, getting to his feet. It seemed that he wasn't exactly invested in Diego's girl troubles.

A twinge of pity went through Nadine, but she stood, too. Allison was here. Allison, the woman who'd lost her voice, who had bled out while Nadine had screamed. Allison, who Nadine had crushed on ever since she was a teenager.

"Le petit mort, le petit mort," another voice said, and Nadine's excitement grew even stronger. That was Klaus talking. Klaus was here, too. And he was speaking French.

She made her way to the balcony, her entire body alight with anticipation, and when she curled her hands around the railing and stared down, two faces she hadn't seen in years stared back at her.

Allison's hair was straight now, her face framed by bangs. She wore an orange dress and heels, and looked perhaps even lovelier than Nadine had imagined. Behind her was Klaus, his hair down to his shoulders, wearing a pair of sunglasses.

"Oh, wow," he said, staring up at the group. "I know this is impossible, but... did we all get sexier?"

Nadine didn't realize how much she'd missed them until they were right in front of her again. She wanted to sprint downstairs and wrap both Allison and Klaus into a tight embrace, but she hung back for a minute. She may have unofficially been a part of the Umbrella Academy now, but she wasn't their family, not really. They deserved a little time to themselves, to hug and greet each other.

Allison's eyes had fixated on one particular person. "Vanya," she said.

She said.

Her voice had come back. It was as if she'd never lost it.

"I can't believe I have a sister," said Vanya, a smile spreading to her face. She broke away from the railing, and she, Diego, and Luther all made their way down the stairs to greet their siblings. Nadine pursed her lips, then hesitantly followed—though she remained on the landing. Molly and Elliott, who'd never met Allison or Klaus, both remained at the balcony.

At the bottom of the steps, Allison and Vanya could do nothing but stare at each other for a minute, taking each other in. Then Allison's lips curled into a smile. "I missed you."

Vanya spread out her arms. "Thank God someone did."

The two fell into an embrace, and Nadine couldn't help but smile, too. It was so nice to see them reunited. It was so nice to see them as sisters again, and not in the conflict that had occurred at Harold's cabin. They really deserved it.

Then, Allison opened one arm. "Hey, Nadine, I see you standing there. Come join in."

Nadine almost cried, which would've been totally embarrassing. Thankfully, she managed to keep the tears in as she bounded down the final few steps and wrapped her arms around both Allison and Vanya. She'd missed them so much. She'd only really known them for a week, but she really, really had.

"I really missed you both," she said. "I mean, I know we haven't known each other for that long—"

"I missed you too, Nadine," said Allison. "Seriously, I really, really did."

Her arms tightened around Nadine, and she winced. "Can you loosen it up a bit?" she asked, hating to be the one to ruin the party. "I bruised my ribs yesterday, and they're still a little sore."

"Oh, yeah, of course." Allison spoke no complaint as she loosened her grip. "Are you okay?"

"I'm managing," said Nadine. She closed her eyes, her cheeks starting to hurt from the enormous smile she was stretching them with. She'd never felt better.

"And your nose? It looks like you got hit in the face with a baseball bat."

"Also healing. And thanks for that. I appreciate it."

"Oh, that's so sweet," a voice interrupted. Klaus's voice. Nadine's eyes shot open just as he, too, joined the embrace, which was becoming increasingly tangled up. Vanya giggled.

"Hi," she said. Klaus pressed a kiss to her head.

"Hey, Vanny. Hi, Nadine. How's my favourite Chosen One doing?"

Nadine had almost forgotten that he used to call her that. "I'm great," she said. For once, she could say that genuinely. "Seriously. It's so good to see you."

"Klaus." Five's voice cut into their conversation, and Klaus turned, still locked in the hug. "Is Ben here?"

Nadine's eyes immediately darted to Klaus as he said, "Oh, uh... no." Finally, the twisted embrace broke apart. "No, unfortunately, ghosts can't time travel."

"All right, then," Five put his hands in his pockets. "Let's get down to business."

"Aw, Five, did you want to be hugged, too?" Nadine asked. "It's all right. I'm sure we can spare a few minutes for you."

Five didn't even bother to respond to that. Instead, he made his way back upstairs. Klaus, Nadine, Allison and Vanya all exchanged a look before following. It seemed that Five had developed an allergy to affection during the apocalypse. He'd probably get a worse reaction to being hugged than Nadine's fake anaphylactic shock.

At this point, it wouldn't even be surprising. 

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HAVEN: me naming this chapter after a throwaway line klaus said... it's more likely than you think!!

but here it is!! the gang's finally back together!! this either spells high hopes or disaster!!

only two more chapters until act two :)) boy oh boy, some SECRETS are going to be revealed. shit is absolutely going down!! good luck, everyone <333

thanks for reading!!