This story is a work of fiction. (One is free to believe what one wishes in regard to the previous statement.)

It contains major fanfiction elements of the BBC science-fiction show Doctor Who, an occasional reference to the Douglas Adams novel series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and probably other things too.

Any resemblance to particular persons living or dead is entirely coincidental, except for the OC who rather non-coincidentally resembles a particular living person.

The fanfiction element of the story is subject to gross and contradictory violations, as the Doctor Who canon universe is often irreverently twisted and sculpted to suit the needs of the author. However, this is hardly noticeable as the TV show itself makes little sense on a good day. One could liken the plot to the TARDIS, or perhaps the Infinite Improbability Drive - it is perfectly illogical but also quite commonplace for a swimming pool to be in a library, or for a starship to fit in one's pocket. It simply requires a little imagination.

All rights reserved, either by the BBC, the author, or the author's feline companion, depending on what parts one may be interested in stealing. Don't.

The story is dedicated to the author's dailymotion.com account which is in all probability illegal.

An insincere apology is extended to David Tennant, who may or may not be mentioned in a mildly insulting context. An even less sincere apology will be offered to Matt Smith's eyebrows... wherever they've gotten to.

And a very sincere thanks goes out to anyone who may be reading this and acted upon a crazy and ill-advised urge to hit that star in the corner. Comments are even better. If one feels inclined to follow or even PM the author to say something nice, there may be unexpectedly fabulous consequences. Do.

This author's note is being written from 2018, but was published in 2017 for awkward reasons involving that little green switch on the TARDIS console that wasn't supposed to be touched. It is in all likelihood being read in 2008 for similar reasons. Apologies for any confusion.

One may now consider oneself thoroughly disclaimed. On with the story.