I've never really felt how it is to have this perfect little family, who always supports you and kicks your ass when you're a dick, who grows with you and makes you feel secure and strong.
Recently I found one. I found the 4 humans who made me feel loved and appreciated and strong and supported and who would kick my ass if I did something stupid or bad to someone. I guess I got too attached, I actually believed with all my heart that we were meant to be. That this right here was my little haven, that I could be anything with them, and they won't leave. And even if they hurt me they'll make it up to me and I'll let them. I let them in, I did. I loved them like I've never loved anyone. I was convinced that this right here is my something in this world. These are my people, they're the ones I'd die for. Until, one of them broke my heart, tore it to pieces, shattered it, I believed all of that until he said 'it's just a word we aren't actually a family'. That was the moment my naive delicate heart that I fixed with tape and glue, shattered one more time as the universe laughed at me. I broke once again, by someone I let in. Someone I thought was home. Again. No one stopped him, none of them said a single word, is it just me who believed it? Is it just me who gave her everything? Am I the only stupid one in this world? Probably.
I decided to trust again. But I've learned my lesson. Everything is a game. And evere person plays with my heart, well no more, I've learned my lesson. No one will find my heart anymore. I killed it. I killed myself, I'm a new me. I won't be a bait in this game anymore. I will be the ring master.
-V