Sexuality was never something to discover.

It just was.

Sexuality was something as instinctive as the oxygen humans breathed into their lungs, as natural as a baby's wail when it takes its first breath. It was an expectation; one meant to uphold and wear proudly on the vest of your sleeve— just as long you were showcasing the proper sexuality.

For Yoongi Min, the proper sexuality to be was heterosexual.

From the moment his eyes first opened under the fluorescent hospital lights, it had already been decided who he was going to be. Not only was he to be a son, but as a male, he was meant to continue the family bloodline, marry a fine young lady one day, settle down, have children of his own before growing old, and eventually, passing away.

None of it bothered Yoongi in the slightest. It didn't matter to him that his family had raised him with the expectation that he was heterosexual because that was considered normal. It was the norm to be straight, to be attracted romantically and spiritually to the opposite sex. Nowhere in Yoongi's life could he say that the label bothered him— it was easier on him for everyone to assume that he was straight.

There were no repercussions for who Yoongi could like romantically because Yoongi knew that everyone would just assume that he liked another girl. That's just the way things were. Yoongi felt no loss— no strip of his identity because never once in his life had he liked a boy, so it must have meant that he was straight.

How could he be something other than straight?

It was an unfathomable thought.

Yoongi had everything. A supportive family, supportive friends, stellar grades— he was St. Johns Catholic High's Golden Boy, the one everyone was both in awe and jealous of. Why wouldn't they be? If Yoongi were them, he'd be jealous of himself too. Now in his senior year, on track to solidifying the valedictorian merit and preparing himself for his highly anticipated college acceptances, Yoongi knew he was all set. All that he needed now was to draft his final plans— prepare himself for all the college acceptances he would no doubt receive, then choose where he'd spend the next four years of his life.

Unfortunately, it was only September, and he still had a long way to go until he'd finally be able to walk across the stage.

"I'm sure you've all heard the news."

Yoongi looked up from his assignment, as did most of his class, who turned to look at their teacher, Mrs. Ro, Who had a grave expression on her face. It wasn't often that Mrs. Ro Held herself in the manner that she was currently at, so everyone knew that something was going on that was making her feel such solemnity.

"Our most esteemed Supreme Court not only agreed to hear the Obergefell versus Hodges case but a decision was given back in June," she began, clearing her throat ever so slightly. "For those who are unaware of what this means, it means that our rights to marriage are being threatened. Everything that God dictates is being questioned right now."

Gasps broke out at the news, though Yoongi wasn't the least bit surprised. His family had been on top of the Supreme Court case proceedings, and most of his family ended up traveling to Washington D.C to protest against it. Yoongi had landed himself a summer internship in Southern California, so he hadn't witnessed the landmark decision that his parents had, but he could still remember how disappointed his parents were and the outrage that his local church had sparked.

June 26, 2015.

The day that flipped the United States upside down.

The day that marriage between two of the same gender had officially become legal.

While his parents weren't outwardly homophobic, Yoongi knew that his parents hated it was legal for "the gay people" to get married. While they believed that God had made someone who they were— some people were just gay, they didn't believe that "the gays" needed more rights. "The gays" had too many rights already; why had they felt the need to get the Supreme Court involved?

It was unnatural, they had reiterated to Yoongi, that gay people marry, even if God made them that way. Sure, they could be born that way, but to actively want to pursue those types of urges? It was an unfathomable thought, one that left even Yoongi wary. Yeah, gay people existed, but that didn't mean that they should have been given the constitutional right to marry. Marriage was between man and woman, not between two of the same genders. How were you supposed to fulfill your God given duty and procreate? It puzzled Yoongi, to say the least.

It's not like he could point fingers, though. It wasn't like he knew anyone who was anything but straight, and Yoongi wanted to keep it that way.

"As you all know, marriage is a holy sacrament between a man and a woman," Mrs. Ro spoke sternly. "While the homosexuals are out there continuously celebrating defying the law of nature, defying the law of our God, we will remain faithful. Governor Abbot is already working hard to protect our religious freedoms from the homosexuals. But for now, we will continue serving the Lord, as it is our sacred duty to, and we will condemn anyone else who refuses to comply. "

Thinking about it now, Yoongi could not have imagined how much of a beacon of danger those words would possess to someone who wasn't like the rest of them. Back then, however, he didn't care. Nobody did. At the end of the day, St. John's Catholic High School was filled with students and teachers that complied with the word of the Lord. If there was anyone that didn't, they were shunned publicly by the school, and those types of people never stayed for long. It never worked in their favor, and that's the way everything would be.

Still, no matter how straight and God-worshipping St. John's Catholic High School believed themselves to be, there was always a small fraction of students who refused to quiet down and remained true to themselves while bullied.

"Hoseok?" Mrs. Ro suddenly said. Yoongi turned his gaze towards the boy in the back of the class, as did the rest of the class, who were already looking at Hoseok judgmentally. Yoongi shook his head, knowing exactly why his teacher had been quick to single him out.

Hoseok Jung was someone that, Yoongi had shamefully become friends with back in the day. Childhood best friends, two that used to do everything together. Their parents had been really good friends with each other, but after Hoseok's parents split up when Yoongi and Hoseok had entered high school, their friendship started taking a sour turn.

Rumors had circulated about the cause of Hoseok's parents' divorce, ones that included adultery— a heavy sin in God's world. It was found out that Hoseok's parents hadn't been properly married by the church, only adding to the pile of sins that the Jungs could have made. The most important rumor, however, wasn't the sin that the Jungs committed, but of the sin that they had created.

The rumor that circulated the most was the one that fully dissolved Hoseok and Yoongi's friendship. It was thought that Hoseok had come out to his parents as one of those people, which caused Hoseok's parents' divorce to begin with. Hoseok's leave of absence from school about two months before his parents officially divorced was to back this up. No one had known where Hoseok had gone those two months— not even Yoongi, who had still been friends with Hoseok then. But, his parents had still been on good terms with the Jungs, so Yoongi hadn't thought too much of it. Once Hoseok had come back; however, it didn't take long for the Jungs to split and for his friendship to abruptly end.

Either rumor held merit but was never proven. After the divorce, Hoseok's parents never set foot in the school, making it difficult to even continue to make accurate assumptions over Hoseok. Yoongi wasn't one to judge Hoseok's parents' decisions. If any of the rumors were true, he'd also never want to show his face at their catholic school. They were basking in sin and to stop on a holy place like a school— it was almost like inviting Satan himself to the place— summoning temptation in a place that should only be dedicated to learning and internalizing the word of God.

Though Hoseok was never proven to be gay, nor was there concrete proof to the rumors made, it had been easy for Yoongi to be caught in the crossfire. Everyone knew how close Yoongi and Hoseok were, and people often had mistaken them for something more than friends, so when Hoseok's name began being dragged into the mud, Yoongi's began to be whispered among the masses. Many were quick to doubt because of Yoongi's background, but it only took some for the entire school to talk about his potential sins. If he wasn't gay, at the very least, Yoongi was sympathetic towards them, and when his parents found out, they were furious.

His parents had been horrified at the rumors, immediately telling Yoongi to drop Hoseok. They were fearful that their son had been messing around with sin and that just being with the Jungs would cause him to turn to those ways. Even with Yoongi trying to assure them that rumors weren't anything more than that, his parents wouldn't hear it. Things became strained with Yoongi's parents until finally, Yoongi listened to them and stopped hanging out with Hoseok, taking on new friends instead. It had taken a while for Yoongi's parents to trust Yoongi again, but with the increased devotion Yoongi demonstrated in Catholicism, Yoongi's parents accepted him back into the inner circle.

The rumors never left Hoseok's back, even now, during their senior year. His classmates refused to talk to Hoseok. The select few that did were shunned along with him. Yoongi's parents refused to talk about the Jungs, refused even to have Hoseok or his siblings stand one foot inside their house doorstep. It was as if the Jungs were now a virus, one that everyone had to distance themselves from because if they didn't, they too would get infected.

It didn't help that Hoseok had become someone incredibly outspoken about the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community. It was known that Hoseok, about a couple of months that Hoseok and Yoongi had stopped talking, had started a club around the school, and while full details weren't known about the club except for the members, everyone knew that it had something to do with the gays.

"Yes?" Hoseok asked, smiling sweetly at their teacher, though his eyes were filled with daggers of disdain.

"I suspect you are one of the few that are happy about this."

Hoseok shrugged. "If it happened, then it must be God's will, right? Praise be."

"You really want a detention, don't you, Jung?" Mrs. Ro clicked her tongue, expression visibly annoyed. "Do not use our God's beloved name to spread your propaganda. It will not be accepted here."

"I could say the same thing to you, ma'am," Hoseok rolled his eyes. "If you want to give me detention, go ahead. Who am I to stop you?"

And just like that, Hoseok had landed himself a one-way ticket to detention.

It was a shame that Hoseok had let himself be won over by the gays, Yoongi thought as he focused his gaze back on his schoolwork. Defending them in a religious school only meant arising more trouble.

The gays didn't deserve to get defended. Though they weren't responsible for who they were, it didn't mean that they had a right to show off what they were. The LGBTQ community made it their whole personality, and they centered everything around them, which was even worse, mainly when everything should be revolving around God.

"Yoongi."

He looked up as their teacher called his name. "Yes?"

"You are staying after school today, correct?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Mrs. Ro smiled. "Would you be a dear and teach Hoseok the ways of the Lord? I have a fifteen minute meeting, and I cannot be in the room during that time. I'll give you a pass so that you won't be in trouble for your practice."

"Sure," Yoongi answered, sighing internally to himself. The situation was less than ideal, but he'd be doing his teacher a favor. It was only for fifteen minutes, anyhow.

"Thank you." she beamed. "God is sure to bless you for your selfless deeds, Yoongi."

Yoongi saw Hoseok scoff and roll his eyes out of his peripheral vision, expression washing into annoyance. Yoongi pressed his lips together, a frown settling onto his lips as the class began to refocus on their assignments.

The rest of the day went by in a blur, all his classes talking about the same Supreme Court case. If it hadn't been clear that the school had felt threatened by such a decision from the government they swore loyalty to, it was apparent now. Hateful remark upon hateful remark threatens of violence erupting through every wake, and anyone known to be a part of the LGBTQ community at school attacked for the Supreme Court's decision. It was mayhem, but Yoongi's superiors turned a blind eye, proclaiming it all to be in the name of God.

If his superiors weren't going to do anything about it, then Yoongi had no problem with what was happening either. It's just the way things were.

When Yoongi entered the detention room, Hoseok was already there. Avoiding Hoseok's gaze, Yoongi walked to their teacher, who gave Yoongi simple instructions. Yoongi had to reiterate God's views on the gay community, she had told him, and remind Hoseok about the love God had for everyone.

The first few minutes after Mrs. Ro had left were filled with tense and uncomfortable silence. Hoseok kept his gaze focused on the work in front of him. At the same time, Yoongi stood by their teacher's desk uncomfortably, fiddling with his fingers and looking anxiously at the clock, the minute hand going tantalizingly slow. The tension between them was almost palpable, and it was suffocating Yoongi to the point where he fell compelled to speak.

Yoongi cleared his throat and opened the Bible, eliciting a huff of annoyance from Hoseok.

"Save your breath," Hoseok spoke, not bothering to raise his head. "I'm not hearing anything that comes out of your mouth."

Yoongi couldn't help but flinch at the sternness in Hoseok's voice. He felt himself shrink back but maintained his ground. His teacher wanted him to enlighten Hoseok. Yoongi had to do it, whether Hoseok wanted to hear it or not. That was how you spread the word of the Lord.

"Not everyone's willing to listen to the voice of the Lord," Yoongi shrugged, keeping his voice calm. "That's how it's always been. It is our job as Catholics to spread the teachings of the Bible, even to those who don't want to listen."

"Do you even want to?" Hoseok scoffed, crossing his arms. "I knew you before. You were never that religious."

Yoongi wasn't. Mostly, he'd done it to make his parents happy because of how religious they were. After a while, it became a habit, and he found himself closer to God because of it. In doing something to please his parents, he'd managed to forge a strong relationship and fully get himself to believe in his religion.

At least, that's what he would constantly tell himself.

"I wasn't," Yoongi agreed. "But, I've made sure to get on the right path, and I must help you too. It's only right. You know why you're here."

"I'm here because homophobic people like you are upset with the legality of same sex marriage," Hoseok retorted. "I wasn't the only one put in detention. My friends were too. All because of you guys."

"Homophobic?" Yoongi tilted his head, somewhat puzzled. "I'm not homophobic. I respect the community; I just can't support the lifestyle. They're all going to go to Hell for their sins."

Hoseok snorted. "Do you realize how stupid you sound? God, Yoongi, I knew you were the spitting image of your parents, but I didn't think you would become them. You're pathetic."

The anger shimmered visibly in Hoseok's expression, rendering Yoongi speechless. Yoongi had never seen Hoseok angry and defensive— not in all of his years of knowing him. Despite having years of not speaking to him, Hoseok's words embedded themselves harshly into Yoongi's chest, hurting Yoongi far more than he would ever admit.

"You saw how badly your people reacted," Hoseok continued. "Students are going to get hurt, all because of who they are. If it hadn't happened before, it's going to be happening much worse now. Do you think the God you worship is going to like all the violence happening in His name?"

Yoongi watched as Hoseok stood up from his chair, taking slow, tentative steps towards Yoongi. Yoongi swallowed the lump on his throat, stepping back to maintain distance. His eyes glanced at the clock, heart sinking. It had only been ten minutes since his teacher had left. Hoseok followed Yoongi's gaze, a small laugh slipping from his lips.

"What are you so scared about, Yoongi?" Hoseok taunted. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"You're going to get in trouble if you're caught getting up from your seat, Hoseok," Yoongi said, attempting to keep his voice level. Hoseok rolled his eyes. "Jung, I'm serious!"

"We on the last name basis now, Min?" Hoseok mocked, shaking his head. "Are you going to tell on me? Get me in even more trouble? I'm not doing anything wrong right now. You shouldn't be too intimidated by me."

"I'm not intimidated," Yoongi stammered, earning another laugh from Hoseok. "I just don't want you to get in more trouble than you're already in."

"People like you think you're on a high pedestal," Hoseok scoffed, stopping in front of Yoongi. "What passages to do you have brought up for me? Sodom and Gomorra? Leviticus? Acts? Timothy? Enlighten me."

"Leviticus—"

"Eighteen, twenty two," Hoseok finished, feigning a yawn.

"If you know what I will read, why do you bother?" Yoongi asked, giving Hoseok a dirty look.

"Why do you bother trying to preach me something that I'll never internalize?" Hoseok breezed, dipping his head. "Being gay isn't wrong, Yoongi. Everyone has the right to love who they love. You don't get to choose who you're attracted to."

"But God—"

"Men have translated the Bible over the centuries," Hoseok interrupted. "Do you genuinely think that it's been accurately translated all this time? Even if it was, would God condemn the humans He created because of who they love? If God picks and chooses who to love, then maybe God isn't as worth it as everyone claims him to be."

Hoseok put his hands under Yoongi's, carefully closing the Bible in Yoongi's hands. Yoongi froze, registering how close Hoseok and he had gotten and how Hoseok's hands were still covering his, even though the Bible was closed. Still, Yoongi didn't dare pull away, his mind completely going blank as Hoseok continued to stare at him.

"Get your head out of a religious text for once, and look around you," Hoseok's voice fell to a calmer tone. "I refuse to believe that someone will be doomed to Hell because of who they love. It makes no sense to me. No matter how much a person is devoted to their religion because they're attracted to the same sex, they're doomed to Hell. There's hopelessness to that. Why be good if you know you're never making it to Heaven?"

"Well, you have to follow God's will—"

"You don't need God to be a kind and just person," Hoseok interrupted once more, "You don't need to follow a religion to be good. If there's an afterlife, do you think God will cast everyone that was inherently good in their lives to Hell? Especially for someone who loved the same sex?"

"Are you one of them? A homosexual?"

Yoongi hadn't meant to ask Hoseok that. It was the last thing on his mind, but he couldn't think of any other reason for Hoseok to be so adamantly talking to him, trying to convince Yoongi on a subject that shouldn't be questioned. Hoseok was trying to shake Yoongi from his faith, and if Hoseok was wholeheartedly supporting the gay cause, then the only explanation that seemed plausible was Hoseok being one of them.

"And if I am?" Hoseok inquired, leaning his head a bit closer to Yoongi. "What would that mean to you, Yoongi? Considering we were best of friends once upon a time. Would you be disgusted? Terrified? You doomed me to Hell the moment you left, but are you going to spit it in my face now?"

Without thinking, Yoongi pushed Hoseok away— a bit harsher than he had intended to. The push caused Hoseok to stumble back and lose his footing, and Hoseok fell to the floor. Hoseok cursed under his breath, and Yoongi stared at him silently, standing there unmoving with his fingers firmly grasping the Bible. Realizing that Yoongi wasn't going to move to help Hoseok, Hoseok pulled himself up, a look of anger on his face as he straightened himself.

"You're nothing like the friend I used to know," Hoseok spat, glaring at Yoongi. He dusted himself off, walking back to his seat.

"You had no right to come close to me like that," Yoongi crossed his arms, still a wild mess. "You're just...just trying to convert me into whatever you and your friends are on! Stop messing with me."

The anger had faded from Hoseok's expression. Instead, there lay a look of disappointment, beginning from the gloss of his eyes, permeating into lips that held their stance of shame, turned downwards. Hoseok held onto his pencil tightly, letting it tap his cheek softly as he continued to stare at Yoongi.

"When have I ever messed with you when it comes to serious matters?" Hoseok shook his head. "I'm not converting you to anything. I'm telling you to look outside of your religion. You're on the wrong side."

"The only right side is the side God is in," Yoongi said, setting the Bible down. "I was only asked to help you get back to the right path. I don't have to switch for anyone. This is probably going to be the last time we speak to each other anyhow."

"And what if God accepted everyone and not just what you're being told?"

Before Yoongi could respond, Mrs. Ro came into the room. Yoongi straightened himself up, securing his backpack over his shoulders, relieved that he could finally gain some peace.

"I hope Hoseok wasn't too much of a trouble," Mrs. Ro said, casting a dirty look at Hoseok. "He's notoriously difficult to deal with. Resists anything related to religion, can you believe that?"

Yoongi raised an eyebrow, though said nothing, having witnessed first hand all the lies that Hoseok had internalized in himself already. "I was glad to be of service, ma'am. I have to get to practice now."

Mrs. Ro nodded, writing a quick hall pass for Yoongi. Yoongi took it gratefully and left the room quickly, making sure that Hoseok and his eyes didn't meet. All Yoongi had to do now was take everything Hoseok had told him out of his head, and everything would be fine. Nothing that Hoseok had told him could make any sense, not when everything he learned from his parents was telling him that Hoseok was on the wrong path.

"Why can't you be more like Yoongi?" Yoongi could hear Mrs. Ro say to Hoseok as Yoongi hurried down the halls to his locker.

It didn't matter what Hoseok said. None of it mattered. Hoseok was wrong, plain and simple. This was precisely why his parents had told him to stop hanging around with Hoseok in the first place. They knew that whatever was going on in the Jungs' place was borderline demonic (if not completely part of the devil's work).

For Hoseok to indirectly answer Yoongi's question too and have no shame in it... Yoongi knew that Hoseok was too far gone in that road. Maybe the rumors had been right all along. Maybe the homosexuality was something that cursed the Jungs because of their adultery, and now Hoseok was suffering the consequences. Whatever it was, Yoongi forced it to the back of his mind. He didn't want to think about it anymore.

He didn't want to think about Hoseok's disappointment, much less think about all the nonsense Hoseok had been spewing. Yoongi and he— they were two different people with clashing ideologies. Sure, they were best friends back in the day, but that day was not now. Yoongi couldn't let his guard down because Hoseok had words that had hurt him. No, the words didn't hurt him. They came from the lips of a sinner, so they couldn't be trusted. Hoseok's words didn't matter one bit.

At least, that's what Yoongi was chanting to himself in his head.

"We aren't friends anymore," Yoongi huffed underneath his breath. He put his backpack into his locker, taking out his sports bag. "He is wrong. You owe him nothing. Let his words go."

Yoongi closed the locker with a bang, leaving the afternoon's events in the detention room, where he hoped would never see the light of day.

a/n: currently playing with how much words wattpad will let me upload before it tells me it's too long. this section isn't too long so i'm not worried about being told, 'we're sorry', or wtv they say when it's too long. 

i honestly thought that i'd uploaded this ?? but i guess i did not so here we are! i think i was just so wrapped up in my assignments that i thought i published this when i actually didn't— WHOOPSIES!

currently working on an update for a clichéd affair, so if you're reading that (it's been forever), there may be an update later tonight ;)

thank you for reading!