"I had a terrible day. We say it all the time. A fight with the boss, the stomach flu, traffic. That's what we describe as terrible, when nothing terrible is happening. These are the things we beg for, a root canal, an IRS audit, coffee spilled on our clothes. When the really terrible things happen, we start begging a god we don't believe in to bring back the little horrors and take away this. It seems quaint now, doesn't it? The flood in the kitchen, the poison oak, the fight that leaves you shaking with rage? Would it have helped, if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known that those were the best moments of our lives?"

"dark was the night and cold the ground"

Arizona got off the phone at the nurses station when she saw Jackson and Kelly coming over. "Hey, Avery, Ripa", she called. "We got a kid with half his face torn off by a dog, so can you get Sloan and meet me outside?" "Yeah", they replied.

"And, hey, see if Shepherd's still here, 'cause we may need him"

"Ok"

They walked off.

Cristina, Lucy, Meredith, Alex, Holly and Aurora were still at the bar, drinking and laughing. Meredith's phone rang and she looked at it. "It's Janet", she said and went away to answer it. "Can you, uh, pay for my, uh, thing?" Alex's pager went off. "Gotta run", he said. "Yeah, I have a flight to catch in the morning", Holly said and Alex hugged her.

"Call me when you land"

"I will"

She left the bar. "Would you pay for mine?" Alex asked Lucy. "No. I'm leaving. I'm going back to the hospital", she replied. He looked to Cristina and Aurora. "You're kidding, right? I paid for your burger", Aurora pointed out. "I'm going to the skills lab", Crisitina added. "Oh, come on", Alex said.

"She has a social worker on the phone. You can fish 20 bucks out of your pocket"

The three women left as he placed coins on the table.

Crisitina and Lucy found Meredith sitting on a gurney in the hallway of the hospital. "What did Janet say?" Lucy asked her. "Meredith?" Cristina said when she didn't answer. "We're not getting her back", Meredith said. "What do you mean? What...what exactly did she say?" Lucy said.

"That we're not getting her back"

"She said that?" Cristina said.

"She said that the court, cancelled our hearing date. And when they do that, it means either one of two things... That they looked at our file and they love us and they're giving her to us, in which case they call Janet and they tell her that, or that they hate us and they're giving her to another family. And she didn't get the "They love us" call"

"Well, maybe they didn't get around to it", Lucy suggested.

"She said we should move on. That's what she said. You want to know her exact words, were "I think it's time that you and Derek start thinking about moving on"

"Oh, my God", Cristina whispered. "Oh, God. How can they do this?" They sat down on either side of her and she sighed. "You can cry", Lucy said. "I don't wanna cry", Meredith replied.

"I know"

"I'm never gonna see her again"

They hugged her. "Ok. Stop. I don't wanna cry", she said and they moved away from her.

Derek was on a computer in one of the office rooms when Lucy walked in. "Meredith is in the ER", she said.

"Look at this. Scalpels from the 1860s. I want to get them for Meredith"

"She needs to talk to you"

"Oh, can you distract her? It's on eBay, and I got 25 minutes left on the auction"

"Derek, Janet called"

He looked at her and left the room.

Arizona was briefing Aurora and Alex on a case. "The baby was born a couple of hours ago, and it looks like a tracheoesophageal fistula", Arizona explained. "You know what that is?" "Yeah, it's the connection between, uh, the trachea and oesophagus", Alex replied. "Fills the lungs with secretions. Baby can have a hard time breathing and feeding".

"Exactly Bentley hospital is tiny. They can't handle it. So you two need to go pick up the baby, bring her back, and then hopefully, I'm done with the kid that's on his way in by the time you're back. You need to reconfigure the ambulance for intensive neonatal transport"

Owen walked by and noticed Aurora had a coat on. "Where are you going?" he asked her. "I'm going to transport a baby with Karev", she replied.

"Are you sure it's safe for you?"

"Owen, I'm fine"

"Grey, ride with Karev. He's on a baby run"

"Owen, I said I'm fine"

"Well, I have to talk to Derek", Meredith said.

"See, she has to talk to Derek. Stop worrying. I'm going. I'll see you later"

"Aurora...", Owen began but she was already getting in the ambulance.

"I'll see you later"

Aurora and Alex were in the ambulance. "What was all that back there?" he asked her.

"What?"

"Come on. Are you scared or something?"

"Scared of having a baby? No, I'm not"

"Kinda seems like it"

"I'm not"

"Look, all I'm saying is you don't need to be scared. You got Hunt and you're gonna be great–"

"If you don't shut up in the next three seconds, I'm gonna shove you out of the back of the rig"

Aurora and Alex arrived at the Bentley Hospital, bringing in the incubator. "Hey, we're here to pick up a newborn, take her to Seattle Grace", Alex said. "You're, uh, looking for me", a doctor said, approaching them. "I'm Jordan Wagner. I am really glad to see you guys".

"Yeah. I'm Alex Karev. Aurora Sloan"

"Ok. Listen, she was born six hours ago, right away, trouble breathing. Stomach looked distended, so we put down an NG tube. But the X-ray showed that it was just coiling in her chest. We've done everything we can to keep her breathing, but it's been a struggle"

"You don't have a neonatal mask?"

"We're not set up for neonatal or OB. She was an emergency delivery, otherwise, we would've sent her to the hospital in Leavenworth"

"Pulse ox is 79. Respiratory rate is 80", Aurora said, checking the baby. "She's got retractions". "How come she's not intubated?" Alex asked. "The smallest tube we had didn't fit", Dr Wagner explained. "Please tell me that you brought a neonatal tube". "We're gonna need X-ray in here for a post-intubation film", Alex said. "This IV's no good", Aurora said.

"Yeah, you don't even have a neonatal central line kit"

"No", Dr Wagner said. "IO needle?" Aurora said.

"No"

Aurora opened their bag of supplies and shared a look with Alex.

Mark, Derek and Lucy were walking to the nurses station. "She doesn't want any kids at all?" Mark asked. "Zola was her baby. She doesn't want another baby", Derek replied. "Derek, she'll come around. She's upset. Give her some time", Lucy reassured.

"I don't know"

"Look, if it doesn't work out, you can always share Sofia", Mark suggested. "There's three of us parenting her already. It kinda works. No one gets too exhausted, you're not on every night. We can work you into the rotation"

"She's a baby. She's not a time-share in Cabo"

"You're close-minded. That's your problem"

"Sure, that's it"

Jackson and Kelly walked by in scrubs. Jackson was on the phone. "Avery", Mark called out. "What's the deal?" "Nose is hanging off and a lot of soft tissue loss", Jackson said. "Probably nerve damage. I'll let you know when Dr Robbins is ready for you".

Jackson and Kelly entered the OR where Arizona was operating. "It's Karev", Jackson said, putting the phone up to her ear. "How's it going?" Arizona said. "The kid's septic. She's got pneumonia", Alex said.

"Was she intubated when you got there?"

"Yeah, well, they don't have any neonatal stuff here at all. We intubated, we started an umbilical line to hang D10 normal saline and antibiotics. But her SATs aren't coming up, and all the oxygen's going into her stomach"

"You're gonna need to put in an amplatz umbrella"

"They don't have a 3-0 ET tube. You think they're gonna have an amplatz?"

"Alright. Elevate her head"

"Alright. Get her head up"

"Alright, do they have a Fogarty catheter? They use those on grown-ups"

"A Fogarty catheter? Yeah, what else?"

"You're gonna have to thread the Fogarty down her trachea, pretty far down, then blow up the balloon, and pull until you get traction. That'll occlude the fistula and get the air flowing into the lungs. You're gonna have to keep the blind pouch clear on your way back. And I'm not sure you have anything in your box that's gonna do that"

"Uh, how about an 8 French suction catheter?"

"Yeah, that'll work"

"Got it. Alright. We're gonna call you when we get to rig"

"Hey, Alex. You don't have a lot of time. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know that"

He hung up.

Cristina and Beck were practising in the skills lab when Owen came in. "Hey. Teddy's got a patient with an endobronchial carcinoid", he said. "She wants you two to take care of it". "Now?" Cristina asked.

"Yes"

"Why can't she do it herself?"

"Well, she's working on a woman who almost bled out in the ER. So, uh, she can't do it"

"Well, how about Goldman?"

"She's giving you a chance to fly solo on a major procedure"

"I know, but we just did a similar procedure. I basically handled the whole thing myself while she planned the menu for what sounded like a really boring brunch"

"Not by yourself. I was also there", Beck pointed out.

"Plus, we're supposed to do a Bentall procedure tomorrow. It's from my bucket list. We're practising the steps"

"Ok, drop the damn suture and go scrub. Alright?"

"Ok. Relax. This better be fast. I wanna be fresh tomorrow"

"Yang, this is emergent"

"Yeah, we're coming. I'm just saying, I'm glad she likes me, but if she's gonna call me every time she has a procedure she doesn't feel like doing...I mean, I'm not her valet"

Lucy bumped into Derek in the hall. She looked at the sadness visible in his face. "Maybe it's not the end", she said. "You'll call the lawyers in the morning. And m-maybe there's something else you guys can do".

"Meredith didn't want kids, I pushed her. She opened herself up. Now I feel like I...I did this to her"

"She wanted it, too, or it wouldn't have happened"

"She'll blame me, like I've been blaming her. We lost Zola, and now if I lose Meredith..."

"She always comes back. She might need a minute to back away, but, she comes back"

She put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Crisitina and Beck finished scrubbing and entered the OR where Richard and Lexie were already with the patient. Lexie quickly draped Henry's face. "Dr Yang, Dr Jacobs", Richard greeted them. "We just started the bronchoscopy. Looking forward to seeing your work. Hopefully I'll learn a thing, or two". "It's an honour, sir", Cristina replied. "Uh, 35-year-old male, endobronchial carcinoid tumour, presented with active hemoptysis", Lexie explained. "He's been given two litres LR and a unit of packed cells".

"Ok. So we'll resect with the c-o-2 laser. Is it ready to go?"

"Yes"

"You know, I think we should time it. Last time we did this, it took us like..."

"...two and a half hours, skin to skin", Beck finished for her.

"That's too long. I think I get hypnotised, um, when I watch that laser or something. We should be able to get it down to, like, two hours"

"Let's start the timer", Richard said.

"Ok, laser, please"

They started operating and Richard and Lexie shared a look.

Thunder rumbled and rain poured as Alex, Aurora and Dr Wagner transferred the baby to the ambulance. "Wait. I'm coming with you", a woman in a wheelchair behind them said. "Dana?" Dr Wagner said. "Why is she out here?" "She said if I didn't take her, she'd walk", the nurse replied. "I was afraid she'd try it". "Please let me come with her", Dana begged. "Dana...you just had surgery, and you've lost a lot of blood", Dr Wagner said.

"I'll be fine. Please"

"I need you to take care of yourself. These guys, they're the best. She is in great hands"

"Please. She's my baby. We're supposed to be together. I can't leave her. She's so little. Please. I have to be with her. Please let me go with her"

"I'm Dr Sloan. And that's Dr Karev", Aurora said, approaching her. "And we're gonna take your daughter to the best baby surgeon there is".

"She doesn't even have a name yet"

"Well, you're gonna give her one when you come to Seattle and hold her in your arms. And until that time, I'm gonna take care of her. You hear me? I have her. Ok?"

She nodded. Aurora smiled and they led the baby to the ambulance.

The sirens blared as the ambulance drove through the storm. Aurora stared at the baby. "I don't understand what you're so afraid of", Alex said.

"Of course you don't. You're not having a baby"

"I'm trying to"

"Really?"

"We're getting off topic"

"You wouldn't understand"

"Try me"

"Drop it"

"Aurora, tell me"

"It's nice that you care, but it really isn't any of your business"

"I'm just worried about you. Owen's worried about you"

"Owen worries too much. I'm fine"

"He's allowed to worry. You're carrying his child"

"Well, I'm the one carrying it. I should be allowed to be more irrational, not him"

The ambulance suddenly stopped. "Dude, what's the problem?" Alex asked the driver.

"So using a laser's not much different than a normal bronchoscopic resection?" Richard asked. "Uh, yes", Cristina answered. "You just have to be extra careful with hidden vascular structures when using this high a level or energy".

"But you're a forming an eschar as you go, so the blood's coagulating along the way"

"Pretty much"

"This is pretty handy"

The screen turned red. "Oh, ok. What happened?" he asked. "Uh, we must have nicked a vessel", Beck said. The monitor started beeping. "Pressure's dropping", Beck said. "Ok, so I'm giving it more irrigation", Cristina said. "Ah, the whole field's obscured". Richard and Lexie shared a worried look.

The driver got out of the ambulance. He opened the back where they were. "What happened to the engine?" Alex asked him. "I don't know what the crap it is", the driver replied, getting cones. "I called for another unit, but we're in the middle of nowhere. It's gonna take forever. I'm putting these out and I'm gonna run back. It looked like there was a store or something about half a mile back. Maybe they got a truck. You gotta get out of the rig". "It's pouring rain and freezing. We can't go out there with the baby", Aurora pointed out. "There's no shoulder", Alex added. "It's not like we can just take the incubator out. I mean, there's not even anywhere to stand". "This thing is full of oxygen tanks", the driver explained. "We get hit, it'll go up like a Roman candle. You gotta get out". "And leave the baby?" Alex questioned. "She'll die," Aurora said. "You want to all die? I'm putting these out", the driver said. "You better hope people can see them. You're on a hill and you're on a curve. I'm telling you, get out the damn rig". He closed the doors and they looked at each other.

Owen entered the OR. "Hey, you need some help?" he asked. "Why?" Beck asked him.

"Well, his pressure dropped out"

"Oh, there was a nick in an artery. I cauterised, and his pressure came back up"

"Ok, but what if it was a carcinoid crisis?"

"Uh, I doubt it"

"But if his pressure drops out again, I'll think about a dose of octreotide", Cristina said. "Yang...", Owen began.

"I'm on a clock, and you're wasting my time. What is your problem?"

"Yang, there's a patient on the table. Let go of the clock and focus on what you're doing"

"I am focused"

"She'd probably focus a whole lot better if you weren't standing here with your pants on fire", Beck said. "We've got it, Dr Hunt", Richard said. Owen nodded and left the OR.

"Look at that", Richard said, complimenting their work. "Very nice". "Right?" Cristina said. "If I do say so myself". "Oh, hang on, we've got some bleeding", Beck informed them. "Ok, you have some clots blocking your scope", Richard said. "Why don't you take out your laser and pass a brush through it?" "Ok", Cristina said, taking it out. "SATs are down to 88", Beck said. The monitor started beeping. "Ok, uh, I'm gonna have to open him up", Richard said. "Just let me just try this first", Cristina said.

"Yang, Yang, you have blood coming in through the ET tube. Get outta there. Get his chest ready, Grey. We're going in"

"Ok, ok, I'm pulling out"

She took it out and they prepared to open him up. "Ten-blade", Richard said. "Ten-blade", Lexie said. He made the first cut.

The monitor started beeping. "Vascular clamp", Richard said. "He is losing way too much blood way too fast", Beck said.

"Ok, put the blood on a rapid infuser and get me another two units up here"

"He's really bradycardic", Lexie said.

"Ok, let's push one atropine. Now"

"Uh, hold on. Wait", Crisitina said. "This tumour has eroded right through the pulmonary artery. Damn it".

"Let me see"

"Sir..."

"Ok. Let's clamp the hilum"

"Uh, he's already lost half his blood volume", Beck pointed out. "This lung is like a sieve", Cristina added. "Give me bovie", Richard said, ignoring them. "We're maxed out on dopamine. Maxed out on norepi", Beck said. "Sir, I'm not sure what we do next", Cristina said. The monitor started beeping again. "V-fib", Lexie said. "Ok, push one of epi. Now", Richard ordered. "I'm gonna start compressions. Let's get this outta here. Come on, people. Ok, here we go". He started compressions. "Come on", he whispered.

Derek, Mark, Arizona and Kelly were in the OR. "Look at that", Mark said. "His nose is gonna be perfect. This is gonna be beautiful". "If you do say so yourself", Derek said.

"I offered to time-share Sofia with Derek and Meredith if they don't end up with kids of their own. He said no"

"Why?" Arizona asked. "Because your child is not a rental car", Derek replied. "We're not gonna take her out one week a month".

"Have you seen her? 'Cause she's heart-stoppingly adorable"

"You're missing the point"

"He's missing the point", Mark said. "No, she's delicious. She's addictive", Arizona continued. "Why wouldn't you want to parent her?" "I just find...", Derek began. Jackson walked in on the phone before he could finish his sentence. "Ambulance broke down, like, in the middle of the road", he said. "They can't move. They can't get out". "Did they send a backup?" Derek asked.

"It's coming, but it's slow"

"Put her on speaker phone"

"Yeah"

"Alex?" Arizona said. "We can't move. We're friggin' sitting ducks", Alex said. "We're...the...ba...".

"Alright, hold on. I can't–I can't hear you. Say that again"

"We gotta take the baby out of here, but the two of us can't move the damned incubator and all this crap on a highway"

"Did you set up the flares?" Derek said. "Ok, leave the phone. See if you can get a helicopter up there".

"Yeah. Take this?"

Jackson left the OR.

Richard was still performing CPR. "Sir, it's been 20 minutes", Cristina said. "There's no way that heart's coming back. Sir, there's no blood left to circulate. I'm not sure what you're...". He stopped and the monitor flatlined. Lexie left the OR. "Um...time of death...8:52pm", Cristina said. "There was no way to take it out without killing him. And there's no way he could've lived with it in him for much longer... Well, I'll write the op note, um... But if you can add a few lines, um, that make it clear that I didn't come up with the treatment plan. It's a bad outcome, and, um, I don't want to take the heat for it in my fifth-year boards. It was Dr Altman's idea". Owen entered the scrub room and Richard shook his head at him. Cristina and Beck went into the scrub room. "Oh, hey", Beck greeted. "Um... The tumour eroded right through the pulmonary artery. The guy bled right out. Uh, we were done before we started". "Is there, um, uh, a family...or something we need to, uh, talk to?" Cristina asked. They looked at the solemn faces that Owen and Richard wore. "What's going on?" Beck asked. "The guy, uh... The guy on the table... It's Henry", Owen stuttered.

"What? No"

They looked back to see Henry's face had been uncovered. Cristina was frozen in place. "Oh, my God", Beck whispered. "Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Why did you make us do this?! I just... Why would you do this to me?! I just killed him. I just killed Teddy's husband". "Beck...", he started but she stormed out.

She leaned against a wall outside the OR, struggling to catch her breath. Her breaths started to become shorter and her vision started to blur. She felt a hand land on her shoulder and she flinched, turning around. Jackson looked at her with concern. "Are you okay?" he asked. She couldn't answer so she just shook her head.

"Alright, it's okay, it's okay. Just look at me and match my breathing, alright?"

She did so, starting to calm down, looking nowhere but his eyes. "Are you good?" he asked after a couple of minutes.

"Yeah. Thank you"

"No problem"

He was about to walk away but she stopped him. "Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked him.

"I'm not really sure, to be honest"

He walked off.

"Secure the umbilical line with extra tape", Arizona instructed Alex and Aurora over the phone. "You need the D10. Put the oxygen tank in the holster, and take the paramedic kit". "Get out of the rig", Derek said.

"Swaddle her so that she stays warm"

"We can't regulate...", Alex said.

"What?"

"We can't regulate her temp without the incubator"

"They may have to leave the kid", Mark said. "We are not leaving the baby", Aurora argued.

"At least one of you should get out of the rig. Especially you"

"What are they gonna do, flip a coin?" Derek asked.

"They're sitting in a powder keg. Also, she's pregnant. No coin"

"Get out", Alex said to Aurora. "Alex...", Aurora began.

"Go. There's no reason for both of us to get killed"

"Well, I'm no safer in the middle of the damn road"

"I'm telling you to get out of the damn rig"

"Alex, if you want to go, you go. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't I c-"

Her sentence was interrupted as the ambulance jolted. Aurora fell forward, hitting her head on the incubator and falling backwards again. Alex fell backwards, hitting his head on the floor.

Derek, Mark, Arizona and Kelly were silent as the no reception tone sounded from the phone. Jackson entered the OR. "I just spoke to emergency dispatch", he said. "Another ambulance is coming now. The cops are a few minutes out, and the helicopter wouldn't be any faster since they leave out of Skykomish. Are we still on speaker or what?" "Uh, we were talking to them and there was a loud noise and, we lost them", Arizona explained. "Avery, Dr Sloan's gonna put down his instruments and you're gonna step in for him", Derek said, noticing Mark's solemn face. "Fancy part's over. We'll walk you through the rest. Mark". Marks dropped his instruments and left the OR. "I should step out and tell Owen", Kelly said and they nodded.

Kelly found Owen in the hallway and dragged him to an empty exam room. "What's going on? I'm really busy right now, Kelly", he said, sounding frustrated.

"You're gonna wanna hear this"

"Okay"

"We were on the phone with Alex and Aurora and there was a loud crash and we lost signal"

"You don't know what happened?"

"No"

"And you can't get through to them?"

"No"

"Owen..."

"That's my wife and my baby, how am I supposed to..."

"Owen..."

"I need a minute"

She nodded as he left the room.

Aurora struggled to get up as she felt pain between her legs. "Are you ok?" Alex asked as he got up.

"You're bleeding"

"What?"

"Your head"

"Oh"

She started trying to fix the incubator. "Aurora, what are you doing?" he said.

"Get me a blanket. I'm taking her out"

"Aurora, put her back in"

"She just got thrown around a plastic box. She needs to be held. I'm not putting her back in"

"Are you ok?"

"No, I'm not ok"

"Listen, we gotta get outta here before this thing blows"

"Well, how are we gonna do that? She's connected to a million things"

"You got the bag and the baby. I'll get the O2 tank and the IV. And we're gonna disconnect her from the antibiotics"

"Is that gonna be ok?"

"Yeah. It's gonna have to be"

He opened the door and she got out first with the baby. He came out second with the tank and IV. Waiting for them outside the ambulance were three unconscious bodies and a tipped over car on fire. 

hope you enjoyed! comment your opinions! song is dark was the night by blind willie johnson