"Have you ever had the starring role in a play? A solo in a recital? All eyes on you. Waiting for you to do what they came to see. Feeling the incredible pressure to perform. There was a time when they used to call operating rooms an operating theatre. It still feels like one. Scores of people get ready for the show, the sets are arranged, there are costumes, masks, props, everything has to be rehearsed, choreographed, all leading to the moment when the curtain goes up. You know what they say about Carnegie Hall? There is only one way to get there. If only life was just a dress rehearsal... And we had time for do-overs... We'd be able to practise and practise every moment until we got it right. Unfortunately, every day of our lives is its own performance. It seems like even when we get the chance to rehearse and prepare and practice, we're still never quite ready for life's grand moments"

"why the hurry? let me pace myself"

Owen got ready for work as Aurora lay in bed. "Are you gonna be okay here on your own today?" he asked her. She didn't respond.

"Kelly said her and Beck might stop by later"

She stayed silent.

"Ok, I'll see you later. I love you"

She didn't say anything and simply turned around to lay on her other side.

The surgeons were gathered in the OR. "Practice, practice, practice until it is perfect, people", Owen said. "This is a long, complex procedure with many parts. Therefore many opportunities for error. So we're gonna go over this again. Team leaders, let's get in place". "Alright, green team over here, please", Derek said. "Let's go, red", Arizona said. "We've offered this family every pro bono dollar, every surgical hand, every resource this hospital has", Owen continued. "So I'm asking you for every resource that you have. Be sharp, be present, be focused. Dr Robbins has been caring for these children since the day they were born. They will each get a new life today. Our actions will decide what kind of lives they will be". He took the cover off of the operating table revealing two dolls, meant to be the conjoined twins they would operate on. "Let's begin", he said.

"Flaps are inset and viable", Mark said. "We are looking at at least 18 hours so come and go if you need to, hydrate, eat, but be here at least 30 minutes before your procedures", Owen said. "Alright. Next up, general surgery", Arizona said. "First we need to establish each baby's blood supply to the shared colon". "Then we separate the colon, making the first incision–", one of the doctors said.

"I will make the first incision. We'll separate the colon"

"Ok, and now I'm checking the displaced kidneys–"

"To make sure they're intact and functioning"

"Uh, that's implied"

"I don't care. Say it"

"Checking the kidneys to make sure they're intact and functioning"

"Man, she's wound up tight", Richard muttered. "Thought you were off work today", Lucy replied.

"I won't see another one of these in my lifetime. You're doing the flip, right, Karev, with Robbins?"

"Mm-hmm", Alex said.

"The flip's a critical part. You ready?"

"Yes, sir"

"You forgot to cauterise", Arizona snapped. "You want this baby to bleed out?" "Do I?" the doctor replied. "No, I–".

"Yeah, I should think not"

"Look, I know this procedure is her baby, but if she keeps nitpicking everybody, she'll destroy their confidence. Don't let her do that to you"

"Oh, no, sir", Alex said.

"Good, because if this flip goes wrong, she's gonna blame you. It'll go on your record, and-and boards coming up...it's not gonna look good. Glad it's not me"

"Ok, it's time to flip them", Arizona announced. "Karev, you're up", Derek said. Lucy quickly squeezed Alex's hand before he stepped up to the table. "Ready?" Arizona asked.

"Karev, you rushed it. You're like two steps ahead of me", Arizona said. "No, you over me", he corrected. "Yours over mine, everything is fine. Mine over yours, babies in the morgue. That's how it works".

"That's your pneumonic device?"

"Great. Now Brandi's wounds are exposed, and little Andi's gone without oxygen for a whole minute", Owen stated.

"Okay, I– Can we start over?"

"No, there's no time. Let's just finish this practice and try the flip again. Next"

"Neuro". "Ortho". "Ok, we will access and separate the conjoined spinal canal", Derek explained. "Separate the bony elements of the spine", Callie added. "Well, that was a train wreck. You nearly killed both dolls", Beck said to Alex. "Look, I have it. I know it", he replied. "If only freakin' Robbins would trust me to do it".

"Yeah"

"Are you gonna see Aurora later?"

"Yeah, Kelly and I are going. Are you?"

"I don't know if I can. I feel like it's my fault"

"Alex, it's not. She would hate it if you thought that. Besides, she's got enough going on right now. She doesn't need you feeling sorry for yourself about the whole thing"

"You're probably right"

Callie, Lucy and Derek were doing the spinal separation. "Spinal separation complete", Callie stated. Cristina's phone rang and she showed it to Beck who nodded. "We have to go. Teddy", Cristina said to Owen. "It's been two weeks now", he replied. "You two need a break, and she does, too".

"We gotta go"

They left the OR. "Ok, I am now prepared to separate them completely", Derek said. "Wait. Hold on. What about complications?" Arizona interjected. "I mean, what if there's a double hemivertebra or a tethered cord?"

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it"

"We're done here", Owen said. "I-I'm sorry", Arizona said. "What if we're standing on that bridge right now?"

"Dr Robbins, I said–"

"No, no, no. We haven't even separated them yet. We haven't gone through the post-separation surgeries"

"Dr Robbins, stop"

"There's so much–"

"We're done practising. We have practised our parts not only here in this OR, but in the shower, on your drive to work. We are ready. We know what to do. Now we just have to do it"

The twins were brought in.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...Andi and Brandi Edwards. Let's give them new lives, shall we? It's showtime

Aurora had finally gotten out of bed and she started looking around the apartment. She went over to the closet and opened the door, finding what she was looking for. The blue and yellow baby blankets had been folded and hidden from her. The crib had been disassembled and the pieces sat under the blankets. She picked up a small teddy bear with a red ribbon tied around its neck. She picked it up and clutched it tightly to her chest. Tears started streaming down her face.

Mark, Jackson and Kelly were operating. "Raising the skin flap. Avery, Ripa, you there?" Mark said. "One step ahead of you", Jackson replied.

"You want to race?"

"No, no, no. No racing", Arizona said.

"That was fun last night. Did you and Mer have a good time? I know Julia had a good time"

"Yeah, we did. You got enough length there for coverage?"

"Yeah, I'm dissecting from the base to the midline. Did Mer say anything about Julia?"

"She liked her"

"Lucy?"

"Yeah, she's nice", Lucy agreed. "Jackson, slow down", Arizona said. "And Zola liked Julia, too?" Mark added. "Yes, she did. Everybody liked Julia", Lucy agreed. "Even Alex likes her". "Anybody else meet Julia?" Derek asked. "Did you like her? Show of hands if you liked her. Ah, you did? You did?" Everyone in the OR had put up their hands except for Kelly who pretended not to hear the conversation going on around her. "Hunt, they're clearly racing", Arizona said, looking at Mark and Jackson. "No racing". "We're not racing", Mark argued.

"We have been rehearsing the for months, and now they're gonna jeopardise the patient because–"

"Robbins, you take care of your team", Owen said. "I'll look at the big picture". "Done", Jackson said. "I win", Mark said, holding his hands up. "And by that, we mean ready for the colon resection. Cafeteria?"

"Race you there"

They ran off. "General surgery teams, let's go", Owen said.

Cristina and Beck entered the OR where Teddy and April were operating. "Dr Altman", Cristina greeted, drawing their attention. "Dr Yang. Dr Jacobs", Teddy replied. "You paged us?" Beck said. "Oh, I didn't realise Cristina and Beck were...", April began. "Do you want me to step aside so they can–". "No", Teddy said simply.

"But you paged them. It's no problem, really. I don't mind. I can go peek in on the progress of the conjoined twins if you'd rather have–"

"Stay put, Kepner. Jacobs, it's your turn"

"From the beginning?" Beck asked.

"Yes"

"Vitals were stable after receiving LR and packed cells. The bronch was already placed when we entered the OR so we proceeded with the laser endoscopy using the CO2 laser"

"Step by step"

"We had good visualisation of the tumour almost immediately. About 80% of the tumour had been vaporised when the bleeding began. He had clots, which were blocking the scope. We passed a brush through the scope to clear the field. However, Henry's haemorrhaging was so severe..."

"Suction, Kepner. Kepner, suction. Jacobs?"

"Henry's haemorrhaging was so severe that the brush did not solve the problem. SATs dropped to 88. Blood was coming out of the ET tube. At that point, Dr Webber exercised his judgement and stepped in. We cracked his chest and tried to get to the source. Henry became bradycardic so we pushed atropine. Then we realised, the tumour had eroded through the pulmonary artery. He flatlined. We did ACLS protocol and got sinus brady. We pushed high-dose epi. He flatlined again. We did more compression. We continued in this manner until Dr Webber, Dr Yang and I all agreed that since he already lost more than half his blood volume, his heart could not restart. We called time of death, 8:52pm"

"Again. Yang, this time"

"When we entered the OR, Henry's vitals had been stable", Cristina explained. "He had received LR and packed cells. The bronch was already placed so we proceeded with the laser endoscopy".

"They're separating the colon right now", Kelly explained to the parents of the conjoined twins. "Making sure that they each have good blood supply". "Have they done the flip thing yet?" the father asked.

"That's next"

"Uh, I gotta get outta here. Is there a bar around here?"

"Um...yeah. Across the street"

"He's not a total drunk if that's what you're thinking", the mother said once he had left. "He has a job. It's a good one, with benefits".

"Seriously, Gretchen, I-I-I wasn't..."

"No, I know what you were thinking. It's what everybody thinks. That we accidentally got pregnant and now we're stuck with the kids we can't take care of. You're probably placing bets in the OR of how long we'll stay together or whose mother is gonna end up raising the girls. Well, you can tell everyone in that room that they're wrong. We love each other, and we wanted these babies. We're staying together, and we will do whatever we need to do to make sure that they're okay... Including accepting the hospital's charity, even if I have to sit around with judgy doctors"

"I wasn't judging you. Really. I just... I was thinking how lucky you are to be with somebody that you love"

"Looks like Andi has the bulk of the blood supply to the colon", Arizona said. "So we'll give her all the colon then?" the other peds surgeon asked.

"And leave Brandi with an ileostomy? I don't think so. I'll do an ileoproctostomy"

"Maybe they should just share so we don't have to–"

"No. We'll do it my way. Check the function of the blood supply to the kidney"

"Flip's coming up and I don't want a repeat of this morning's rehearsal", Owen announced. "That's what I want to talk to you about", Alex said, approaching Owen. "I'm a little nervous about it. We practised that flip before, and it turned out great. And today...Robbins doesn't trust anybody today".

"Get to your point, Karev"

"I just don't want to screw this up. We gotta be the perfect team"

"And you're not comfortable doing it with her?"

"She's making everybody uncomfortable"

"I get it. You don't need to say another word. Who wants to replace Karev on the flip?"

"No, that's not what I meant"

"Uh, I'll do it. Sir", Richard offered, raising his hand. Owen nodded and Richard went off to scrub. Lucy looked at Alex with a confused expression that he equally matched.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Arizona asked Richard. "Disconnect and cap subclavian IVs, anesthesiologist holds the ET tube, designated circulators and the techs hold the monitors. Yours over mine, babies–".

"Don't. Don't"

"Why aren't you doing the flip?" Lucy asked Alex as Kelly came back into the OR. "Webber snaked it from me", he replied.

"I can see that, but why?"

"I have no idea"

"But he hasn't practised. You've been practising this for two weeks"

"Yeah, tell him that"

"I told the parents that you practised", Kelly interjected. "I told them that you had this thing down cold". "Okay, one...two...three", Arizona counted. "Easy, easy, easy", Richard whispered. "I hope he drops her", Alex said. "How's he gonna like it when one twin's pushing her sister in a wheelchair the rest of their lives? I'm just pissed at Webber". "You're just...a monster", Kelly replied. "And we're done", Arizona sighed in relief. Everybody clapped and cheered. "Oh, good. Okay", Kelly sighed. "Nice work". "Well done", Arizona said. "Alright!" Lucy put her hand on Alex's shoulder.

"He flatlined again. Then Dr Webber, Dr Jacobs and I all decided that without any blood left to circulate, his heart would not restart, so we called time of death at 8:52pm", Cristina explained to Teddy. "Tell me about the tumour", Teddy said.

"The tumour had eroded through the pulmonary artery "

"Okay. How do you know?"

"Know what?"

"When you say that the tumour eroded into the pulmonary artery, how do you know?"

"There was a hole in the artery"

"Did you actually see the artery?"

"I felt it"

"You just blindly felt it?"

"It wasn't a blind feel. I knew what I was doing. I traced it with my fingers"

"Uh-huh"

"It was the posterior segmental artery. I'm sure of it"

"How can you be sure? You never got a visual"

"I-I followed the tracheal bifurcation. It came directly off the main pulmonary artery"

"Ok, Kepner, let's get a few of these lymph nodes for biopsy and then get ready to close"

"I didn't call it without being sure"

"From the top, Jacobs"

"Um... His vitals were stable after receiving fluids", Beck said. "He was under anaesthesia, and the bronch was placed when I entered the OR so we proceeded with the laser endoscopy using the CO2 laser"

Kelly and Beck went up the stairs to Aurora and Owen's apartment. They looked around and they discovered Aurora laying in bed cuddling a teddy bear. "Hey, how are you?" Kelly said as they sat beside the bed. She didn't respond. Kelly and Beck looked at each other helplessly. "It's okay. Just talk to us", Beck said. She still said nothing. "Come on, we get it but you can–", Kelly started. "You don't get it", Aurora replied in a small hoarse voice.

"Just talk to us"

"You don't get it! My baby is dead! I didn't get to hold him, I didn't get to name him...he is just gone. And I can't get him back. So please don't sit here and act like you have any idea what I'm going through"

"Aurora, we just want to help"

"You know how you can help? Get the fuck out"

"Aurora–"

"I don't want you here. Get the fuck out!"

"Okay, we're going", Beck said, getting up and grabbing Kelly's hand.

Kelly and Beck entered the OR gallery where all the residents except Lucy sat and Meredith had Zola. "How was it?" Alex asked them. "It was a bust. She kicked us out", Beck replied. "We'll try again tomorrow", Kelly added. "They're in the spinal cord now", Cristina informed as the two sat down. "Bailey spent the last two hours telling me how crappy my life is, but look at this face", Meredith said. "Oh, Zola, look. There's your daddy. He's about to repair a myelomeningocele. Can you say myelomeningocele?" "What an ass", Alex said. "Hey, language", April reprimanded. "Baby here", Cristina said. "He pretends he's all gentle and sad with the Alzie wife at home, dispensing Zen wisdom from his half century of being a surgeon", Alex ranted. "Well, guess what. Yoda down there...biggest shark of 'em all. The guy is dangerous and mean". "I think what Teddy's doing is mean", April commented. "It's fine", Cristina said.

"No, it's horrible. It's-It's horrible in there"

"You know what else is horrible?" Jackson said. "Having a dead husband".

"No, you know what? You don't know, okay? It's not right. Teddy's OR, it's like...it's like a morgue"

"Well, Altman's husband died on the table", Alex stated. "Payback's a bitch". "Oh, will you just shut up? It's fine", Beck interjected. "We can handle it". "Well, it has been two weeks of this. It must be getting to you", Kelly pointed out.

"Not more than it did yesterday or the day before that or the day before that. It's fine. I'm... We can handle it"

"Damn it. Spinal dermoid cyst. It's all tangled up in the spinal root", Derek said as he, Callie and Lucy operated on the twins. "Yeah, there's a lot of scarring in there. I don't see a clean approach", Lucy said. "Well, no, well you have to take it out because the cyst could become malignant", Arizona said. "Yes, we're aware. Thank you", Callie replied. "Maybe I can come in from an angle...like this, but then we risk the contents spilling out–", Derek said. "Which could cause a chemical meningitis", Arizona said. "Dr Robbins, we've got this", Callie said. "Ok, what if we stretch the nerve root here?"

"Well, that might paralyse Brandi"

"Yes, Brandi might end up paralysed. Yeah, no one understands that better than we do, which is why we will be making this decision, okay? Us. Not you. Us. You alright with that?"

"Just make sure–"

Callie cleared her throat.

"I– Yes, I'm okay with that"

"No more talking from anyone in this OR", Derek said. "We need complete silence from now on".

"Okay, we're ready for the final cut", Derek announced. "Alright. Separation complete", Callie said. Everybody clapped. "No, no, no, no, no. Not yet, not yet", Derek said, stopping them. "We still need to check on the motor function. Let's do...two milliamps of stimulation on Andi first, please". The machine beeped and Andi moved her leg. "Alright. Let's try Brandi now", Callie said. "Two milliamps of stimulation", Derek said. The machine beeped but nothing happened.

"Let's go up to three milliamps, please"

The machine beeped and still nothing. "Come on, Brandi. Just give us some kind of movement", Lucy muttered. "Anything". Nothing. "Alright. Let's go up to four milliamps of stimulation", Derek said. The machine beeped and she moved her foot.

"Hey, there you go"

Everyone clapped. "Great, everyone. One step at a time, by the numbers, like we practised. Let's move", Owen said. They transferred one of the twins onto a gurney and transported her to another OR. "We've still got a hell of a long way to go", Owen said. "I'll be checking in on you".

Richard, Kelly and Jackson were watching as Arizona and Alex operated on one of the twins. "What's going on, Avery, Ripa? You should– You should've finished your flap by now", Owen said, coming in to check on their progress. "Yet we haven't even started", Jackson said. "Why don't you give us a call when you're ready?" They left the OR.

Cristina and Beck were sitting on a gurney in the OR when Teddy rolled a trauma victim in. "Seventeen-year-old male with multiple GSW to the chest", Teddy informed them. "We're bringing him straight from the ER so we don't have a lot of time, people. Let's get him on the table". "Dr Yang, Dr Jacobs, are you scrubbing in this time?" April asked them as she entered with the chart. "No", Teddy, Cristina and Beck said in unison. "Alright. On my count. One, two...three", Teddy instructed as they transferred the patient onto the table. "Let's move, Kepner". They scrubbed in. "Yang?" Teddy prompted. "Vitals were stable after receiving LR and packed cells", Cristina began. "The bronch was already placed when we entered into the OR so we proceeded with the laser endoscopy".

"Vitals were stable after receiving LR and packed cells", Beck said as it was her turn to tell the story. "The bronchoscope was already in place when we entered the OR so we started with the laser endoscopy. We had good visualisation of the tumour almost immediately". "Tell me about the tumour", Teddy said.

"It was highly vascularised and had eroded through the pulmonary artery"

"How do you know?"

"I felt it"

"What did you feel?"

"A hole in the pulmonary artery"

"Are you sure that it was the pulmonary artery?"

"Yes"

"Or did you just blindly feel it?"

"I knew what I was doing and what I felt"

"You had your hand on it?"

"I had my hand on it and traced the anatomy"

"Are you 100% sure?"

"She said she's sure!" April snapped. "Enough! It's enough! This is enough. You can't keep doing this. You– You can't... He's gone. Dr Altman, I-I'm sorry, but he's gone, and this is not gonna bring him back so please just stop. Please".

"Are you alright, Dr Kepner, or do you need some time to gather yourself?"

"No, I... No"

"Okay, then"

She looked back at Cristina and Beck. "I am 100% sure", Beck said. "Alright", Teddy said.

"Henry flatlined. We did compressions, pushed epi, got a sinus brady, pushed high-dose epi. He flatlined again. We did more compressions. We continued in this manner until Dr Webber, Dr Yang and I all decided that his heart would not start. We called time of death at 8:52pm"

They were now in the scrub room and Cristina took her turn to tell the story. "Dr Webber exercised his judgement and stepped in", she said and Teddy had her eyes closed, making the movements with her hands. "So we cracked his chest and tried to tamponade his bleeding and get to the source. He became bradycardic, so we pushed atropine. Um, then we realised he had lost so much blood because his–". "The tumour had eroded through the pulmonary artery", Teddy interjected, her eyes still closed.

"Right"

"That's when he flatlined"

"We did compressions–"

"Pushed epi, got a sinus brady..."

"Push high-dose epi..."

"Which is when he flatlined again"

"Yes"

Teddy began to cry. "And you, Dr Jacobs and Dr Webber agreed that he had lost too much blood...", she continued. "Yes", Cristina said.

"And didn't have enough left to circulate, so his heart...would not restart"

"Yes"

"So you called time of death"

"8:52pm", they all said in unison. Teddy sobbed. "I'm sorry", Cristina said and Beck nodded sympathetically.

"Oh, you don't apologise. You hear me? Don't blame yourselves. You did every single thing that I would have done. You were me in that OR. You were good and you were right. He just... He just... He just died"

She started sobbing again and tears formed in Cristina and Beck's eyes.

Owen returned home and sighed, sitting down. After a moment, he noticed Aurora wasn't in bed anymore. She came out of the bathroom with a clear full of her toiletries. He looked at her with confusion. She wheeled a suitcase into the middle of the room. "I'm gonna go stay with Mark for a while", she said in a quiet voice.

"What? Aurora..."

"I can't be here right now. It's too hard. I'm sorry"

"Let's go somewhere together. We can stay in a hotel or something. We can get away from here together"

"No. No, Owen. I'm gonna go and you're gonna stay here, okay?"

"I don't understand why you're doing this"

"I just can't. I really can't. I'm so sorry"

Then she left. 

hope you enjoyed! comment your opinions! song is magic chords by sharon van etten