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i was initially thinking of placing the cra ver of yellow here
or some rich asf lana del ray songs.... but dodie
i just couldn't resist ok 😩

after 'monster' ends, u're free to play this song too
it offers such relieving vibes, and goes along with this chap well

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I remained quiet, eyes fixated upon my lazy attempts on trudging through the ankle-length grass. Levi's halt in front of me goes unnoticed, and I bump headfirst into his back as a result.

The word "careful" escapes his lips in record speed and his brawny arms are locked around my waist right after.

I looked out at the flat meadow before me, sowed with dandelions and specked with clusters of Gerbera daisies. The sight was breathtaking and familiar.

It reminded me greatly of home.

"Your hair's grown since the last time we met." he stated, releasing his tight grasp.

"I don't suppose you brought me all the way here to discuss my hair?"

"Hm. No." he hummed, visibly contemplating something.

He places a hand on my forearm. Shortly, it drifts to settle on my wrist as if grabbing my hands would invade my personal bubble. He doesn't see, so concentrated on dragging me along to the nearby shade, but my lips tug upwards marginally.

Levi pulls off his jacket, and lays it nimbly on the uneven patch of grass, shaved shorter than the cock's-foot from before. He sits us both down as we're girded by a ring of shade. I inch to the side of me to offer some space and was greeted with nothing but a confused mien. He must be thinking that I'm uncomfortable, that's why I leaned away.

Pressing my mouth shut, I looked into his mazed demeanour with furrowed brows. For a fleeting moment, I hesitated to carry out the action, howbeit, I did it anyway to put him at ease.

I reclined onto his broad chest, closing my eyes in snugness. He quickly gasps at my bold deed. It doesn't take long for him to ease into my proximity, wrapping a hand around my shoulder. I giggled at his reaction and his features softened gradually.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked inevitably, glancing down on me.

I plucked up one of the dandelions in front of me, blowing into it, stalling time.

"Talk about?" I questioned innocently.

"What happened the other day. Doesn't take some clever clogs to detect it caused distress."

He went ahead and answered so straightforwardly, it was practically unfeasible to avoid. I played with the stem of the flower, thinking about what to say next.

"Yeah, I do actually."

In a blink of an eye, I spun around, blowing the rest of the seeds into his face. The arm that was previously wrapped around me was now frenziedly swiping away the dry white floaties. A few of them landed on his nose, and he scrunched it at the ticklish sensation. When they had all flitted away, a pair of eyes were hawking at me on the other side, only causing me to chuckle. I gently tapped his nose, sweeping off the pappuses.

I was expecting him to give me a harsh lecture, or some foul scolding to discipline me. He does neither of those things, instead, spread across his face was a sheepish smile.

It's been so long since I've seen him do that.

As his jaws quiver awkwardly, I could tell that he was thinking along the same lines. For sure, he hasn't smiled in a prolonged period.

I began to worry even more about what had happened after I left the Underground; maybe he didn't have ill intentions after all. Did I jump to conclusions too rapidly?

"I want to apologise for making you feel like shit back then." he spoke steadily, almost like he can read my mind. He was agonising over his upcoming set of words, learning from his past mistakes.

"I didn't mean to make you feel that way." he paused, "It wasn't because I disliked you that I left or said those things. I just thought the chances of us meeting again were so slim, and it doesn't help that I was a criminal. You deserve so much better."

"It's fine. How about we just put that aside."

"Everything happened like the deuce, and I-"

"Look, I said it's fine." I repeated stiffly. My eyes flickered to the side, signalling my discomfort with the subject. "Besides, I moved on. Or at least I thought I did."

His face immediately dropped, and I realised how misleading I sounded. I hastened to explain myself, "I-I'll admit. I did get a girlfriend the time we didn't meet."

Grimacing, his eyebrows knit together even closer at the front of his face. I wince at the painful sight.

"But! But I broke up with her because she-"

Release it now, or bottle it up, Mayuka. It's your choice.

"She cheated on me with my father."

And suddenly, he's listening intently with perked up ears, the former expression washed over with commiseration. Looking down, I twiddled my thumbs, about to unravel the lamentable memories.

"I just- I just feel so betrayed. A full year wasted on this one girl." I scoffed at myself in disbelief, "She lifted me up so high, only to gun me back down again."

Nature ceases, and everything turns intimate after the disclosure.

"You don't have to say any more if you don't want to, Mayuka. Don't force yourself." He rubs circles at my back.

"No, I want to. That morning I had an argument with my mother, and I didn't even get to pacify it, let alone say goodbye. She was gone, just like that. And when I managed to flee from the assassins, I thought that maybe the rest of my family could've been saved; my girlfriend, the old man. Instead, I saw them fucking right in front of me. I should've seen it coming. Agatha said she visited the Underground a couple of times too. If you have business down there, you've probably associated with some illegal activities, right? She was correct, I am naive."

I breathed heavily.

"Your mother was genuinely a prostitute, she told me before she passed. The whole reason why we had to leave early was because she had an appointment an hour later. I think you deserve to know that, even if she told me to keep it a secret. Not all prostitutes are bad, Mayuka. Take your mother as an example."

"It's all my fault, Levi. Because I was born, my mother had to struggle in that whorehouse. Because I was born, they had to die. I was the one who set the house in flames. Who I burned them to death. I am the real murderer."

"Hey."

He cups my cheek, and tilts it to make me look at him. His eyes twinkle under the daylight, and then something prickly lands on my head.

"Don't blame yourself."

I reached up to my head, feeling the strange bristles of the mysterious item. I pull it off my hair, and is welcomed by a woven of citrine quartz.

He made me a flower crown? When?

"Don't take it off," he grinned at the daisies, then places it on my head again, "It looks good on you."

I beamed at him in wonderment, "Thank you." And he ruffles my bangs in reply.

We sit next to each other in peace as dusk settles on the horizon.

With him, I am content.

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"It should be just around the corner." he figured.

And as we rounded the quarter, I espied the classroom ahead of me, bustling with students I presumed were the other Scouts. He held a hand in front, guiding me into the class. I gave him a confident nod, and entered the history lesson I was invited to attend.

Our first lesson was fairly intriguing, studying about the attributes of the Iron Bamboo forest. A bit of science paves its way in as well when we talk about its substances and the military weapons it is able to craft. I've already concisely read about the discovery of Iron Bamboo, so luckily for me, this lesson wasn't hard to perceive. Levi, on the other hand, was rigid with pressure since this was also his first lesson, and well, a thug doesn't read much. It wasn't stunning to see that he focused more on the physical branch. 

Every time I glance at him with amusement, we would flick my forehead back to my work, and murmur curses to himself for sitting in the front row of the class.

"This man here," I pointed at the portrait in the textbook we were sharing, "is Angel Aaltonen. He was the inventor of the vertical manoeuvring equipment, who discovered that this specific bamboo shared the same properties as iron. Thus, it got its name the Iron Bam-"

"I don't need your help." Levi spat out with a scowl.

"Whatever you say, old man." I rolled my eyes back at him.

"Lover's tiff?" A voice called from behind with a certain sense of puckishness.

The both of us swung around our chairs to see who it was. It was a female, decorated with multi-purposed goggles, ones to keep out chemicals yet improve eyesight. It was apparent she came from the science stream at first glance. Underneath her goggles, a wide pair of light brown eyes were glinting at me, like I was a different kind. I took it that the goggles served as a headband too when I saw the unkempt, dark brown ponytail and her shabby middle-parted bangs jutting out in all directions.

She's the girl from the other day.

"Don't fret, I'm only joining history this lesson for the fun of it. I wanted to see who's the damsel he's so obsessed with-"

"Hange." he warned. Seemingly stopping her before she spews out something she wasn't meant to.

"Wait, so you aren't his girlfriend?"

"Nah! Nothing of that sort!" she denied at once.

"Plus, I have my eyes set on worthier men, like Shadis and our eventual commander." she squealed, clutching her hands together and twirling around in her chair. On her face warps the strangest beam ever.

"Oh."

It wasn't hard to believe that she had a crush on one of the two, especially the blonde one. From head to toe, he was the pinnacle of society's standards appearance-wise. I haven't been formally introduced to the man so the majority of his identity remains anonymous to me, but I have heard that he was going to get promoted to commander soon, after Shadis's official retirement.

"By the way, I'm ambiguous. Still in that 'finding myself' phase, you know?" Hange corrected, nudging my shoulder lightly, "Lovers are thrilling, but sometimes crushes are better. I can't seem myself being anyone's 'girlfriend' yet."

"Right..."

"Tch, return to your lab." Levi butted in, just in time as the class ended.

"Hmph, Levi. I don't even know how she deals with you." Hange leaned back, arms akimbo.

"I'll get going then. Have fun!" Hange winked.

Envying, I smiled at her cheery personality. I watched as the last of her exits the room before turning back to Levi, whose expression is typically unreadable. It intimidated me, slightly.

I packed up the shared books for the both of us as my partner seems to be out of place. As we headed out, a gossip makes me stop in my tracks.

"Eirian, isn't that the murderer over there."

"Oh yeah, that scrubber of a redhead. I heard from the MPs that she not only committed arson, but killed her girlfriend and father in the process too."

"Shit, seriously?" she sneered in the loudest voice ever, explicitly so that I could leave with no hopes.

"Let's leave, I think she can hear us." they cackled, whilst unmistakably eyeing me up and down.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want to get manipulated to death by her like our soon-to-be captain is."

I was about to withdraw peacefully until they brought Levi in. Why? Must he take half the blame just because he's associated with me?

"Don't listen to them."

He reaches out for my hand but I pull away, not wanting to get him involved any further. I ran at top speed, back to the dorms, and locked it shut.

I was crying again.

So much for trying to heal myself.

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i bet y'all were tricked by the title 😃

this chap is surprisingly cute to be named "murderer"
but i hope y'all know why it is named that
(hint: it's bc mayuka blames herself for the death of her fam)

yes, levi is the supporting therapist we all didn't know we needed
guess someone did call for therapy from the last chap...

and i would like to apologise if you're some expert in the floral field
i know that the flowers i mentioned before don't originate in the same regions
sorry guys, the flowers here were specifically picked out for the 'fluffy moments'
so i can't change anything

hope y'all will understand

there are are also mentions of 'before the fall' in this chapter
(with the iron bamboo and angel aaltonen - aka a complete dilf 🧍🏻)
likely this will be the same for chapter 16
i will include the same credits and reference notices
so you are aware these are not my creations

until next week :)