*I'm going to separate this into two letters as I have a brother and sister so there are different things I want to address. *

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To my brother,

The earliest memory I have of us was you trying to stop me from drinking from a baby bottle any longer since I was 4 and you deemed me too old to do so anymore. You were stern and you did what my parents couldn't. They would have let me keep doing that after I whined that I wanted to. In the end, I did quit using a baby bottle. My teeth grew out straight and neat. You still took credit for that.

And what I'm trying to say from this story is that you're still like that now. Correcting me when I did wrong, stern and straight to the point. Well not in a bad way though. I appreciate it. Your sternness and straightforwardness can be cute sometimes. I know it's how you care about me.

As children, we were both immature. You were supposed to be older than me by 8 years sure, but you were once the youngest for 8 years as well. I understand that a child can't possibly transit that easily from being the spoiled youngest child to a responsible older sibling. So you were constantly picking on me, saying I was ugly and intentionally trying to make me cry. Now that I think about it, were you actually resenting me from taking your place? Well, either way, you were very annoying to me then. I cried a lot because of you and after whining to my parents for far too many times, they got too lazy to care so nothing was done to stop you. 

I don't know when I started watching you gaming. I was bored, so I just sat beside you, watching you play things that I don't understand. But it was better than doing nothing. You didn't like it at first, but I guess you had no choice since I would whine a lot. After some time, I came to understand how to play and we started bonding by gaming together. I know I suck at that time okay? I know. Thanks for letting me in anyway, willingly or not. I'm really happy and grateful that happened. You made me a gamer, and I do find joy in gaming. So you should be proud you made me a gamer, a ever ready player 2 for you. And through this way, we became much closer.

After you graduated high school and was going off to university, it dawned upon me that I would be alone at home from then on. I was really sad when you left. Everything was boring because I didn't have someone else to do it with. Annoying as you were, I liked your company. I know you felt the same as we both became older. That few months break you had where we would game all day, have stupid competitions over who drank more water (I knew you were just trying to keep me healthy) and prepare the vegetables together are fond memories for me. Even now, remembering them makes me extremely happy.

After you started working, you focused a lot on church activities. I'm guessing you were still partially bitter about our family too, that caused you to not visit us as often. I'm glad you decided to visit more last year and this year though after being transferred. See, we bonded so much, didn't we? I never expected we would start having midnight heart to heart talks and that you would open up to me so much. I was always tired from having stayed up through those talks but I'm so glad they happened. I used to only look forward to gaming with you when you came back home, but now I look forward to just spend time with you, to talk and to just watch some series together silently. These kind of quality time, I love them.

I appreciate your advices when it comes to church and God, how well you listened to me, and how you trusted me enough to tell me about your hurts. 

I know that you are still not in a very good place, or the place where you want to be yet, but as your sister, I believe in you and that you will get there. I understand why you'd doubt yourself or find certain things to do in our family difficult, and I accept that. Just never forget that it's okay to feel this way and I'm always here for you. You can always tell me what's wrong, what's going on and  I'm always ready to help you in anything at all.

Thank you for being my brother. My first friend. Someone I can confide in without any fear or worry. Thank you for looking out for me, for loving me and for everything. I love you a lot. I hope and I believe we'll stay as close as now, forever.

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To my sister,

I'm glad we can get along despite a huge age gap of 12 years. I know there are people out there with even bigger age gaps, but hey I'm pretty sure 12 is big enough. It's honestly amazing that we can understand each other so well, exchange thoughts and opinions as equals and even confide in each other about important things in our lives. Usually people would expect us to have totally different mindsets or different social circles due to our age but whenever we were together, age didn't seem to exist at all.

Thank you for all your advices that helped me as I grew up from an immature kid to the less immature me now. Honestly, at times I think you're literally my second mom. You are what our mom wasn't. You became what our mom lacked. Not saying she's not enough, but no one is perfect and you were there to fill up the flaws. I'm grateful for that.

Compared to our brother, we would clash a little more at times. You were quicker to anger and impulsive and I was more quiet and reserved. I respected you and your opinions so at times I wouldn't stand up to you. I guess what came with you being my second mom or a mother figure was that a little fear existed at the same time. But that's not entirely a bad thing. Respect came with fear in my opinion. Like how it is for God and us. Even if we respect and love Him, we are still called to fear Him. And I think it's because deep down I respected you a lot.

You were almost like a perfect role model to me when I was younger. You were wise, smart, obedient, farsighted, responsible, disciplined and kind. You were many, many things I wanted to become. I followed everything you said and I agreed with them. At some point though I did grow up and start having my own thoughts. But the fact that I'll always value your opinions will never change. And I'll never stop looking up to you as well.

We do have many differences, I realize. We weren't as similar personality wise. At times we were even opposites, but somehow things turned out okay. I guess clashes are inevitable, but we always made up in the end. Plus, it's a good thing to be different. We learn to cope with our own weaknesses in this way because they become obvious when we face each other.

Thank you for letting me take part in many things in your life, like being your bridesmaid. Even though you kept saying you'd be too old to be mine when I get married, I still hope you'll do it. After all, I always do uncommon weird things. Who cares if I had a much older bridesmaid? I want you to be beside me as well.

I'm sorry for all the things I've troubled you with, especially the unintentional ones. Just with me being in the family made you the eldest, with the most responsibilities. All the unfair times you've dealt with, I'm sorry. I know you said you didn't mind anymore, but still, I got certain things that you didn't and sometimes I wish it wasn't the case.

Thank you for being my sister! My first ever girl best friend that I know will be with me till we both grow old and wrinkly. I love you so much. I can already see us, both in our seventies and eighties, yet still laughing about the silliest things like we were 18 and 30. I'm unsure about many things in the future, but this bond between us, I am so sure will last and never end.

You're currently in a new phase of your life, and I just want to wish you all the best with your marriage, work, studies and just everything. Things change and that's scary but you'll pull through. After all, you're my most amazing sister! Plus you've got me. I'll hold up the world for you if it ever crashes down on you. You can count on me. 

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To both of you, thank you for all the love you've given me. It'll never feel too repetitive to say this because as compared to the amount of love I've received from you two, it hardly even seem enough.

I know that both of you are a lot older, which means there will higher chances of you two leaving ahead of me. That saddens me a lot, but I know we'll be reunited one day.

No matter what happens, I'll stay your silly, cute little sister. That is a promise from me.

Love,

Your best younger sister ;)