Laura,

I miss you so damn much. I wish that I were still able to be friends. I wish that I wasn't forced to leave you. I wish that I didn't have to hurt you. But, it was all for you. Everything that I do is for you. I've suffered for you. I've distanced myself from you. I forced myself to love you from afar... all for you. I've watched you hurt, but it was for you. God, I can't even imagine what you must think of me. I mean, you must hate me. You must hurt because of me. But it can't be! The whole reason why I left you was to keep you from hurting. Your mother even agreed that it would be best if I left your life. In fact, it was her idea.

I still remember what it was like when we were friends. God, we were young. I can't believe that I remember this. Do you remember how I used to sneak into your backyard. Josh lived behind you and I used to sneak through this little hole in his fence to get to your property. I would send you a signal of a flower in your window to summon you outside. Man, I miss those days. That was when I was still able to see you smile everyday and hold you when you were too sad to do so.

You were my best friend. Like, you're still my best friend. That'll never change in my mind. I just... I just can't act on anything. I can't hurt you. I've always loved you. I still remember the first time I held your hand. I doubt that you do. I hadn't even realized that I did it. I just kind of went with the moment and did what I had been wanting- so desperately- to do.  It was in second or third grade. I'm not sure which. Emma Burns - god, she was a bitch - just randomly walked into you in the hall, pushing you onto the ground. I just grabbed your hand and lifted you back up. It was weird, like it was an instinct of mine to protect you. I never let go of your hand. From then on, I held your hand whenever we went anywhere. You never complained. I was ecstatic; the beautiful, shy, hot girl whom I loved held my hand!

Unfortunately, she wasn't the only one to push you down. There were so many people. Laura, sometimes it was hard to fight them all off. There was Terry who would steal your lunch everyday and pass it around to his friends. There was Amy Turner who slapped you. I think that you were shocked. That was the first time that someone physically assaulted you. You just stood there, holding your face, frozen. I put her in her place. I got in her face and made sure that she would never hurt anyone again. But, mostly, I made sure that she would never hurt you again. I yelled at her until my throat was sore and her face was blotchy and covered in tears. But every single time that somebody knocked you down, I was there to pick you up. I always want what is in your best interest. I defended you and embraced you, wrapping my arms around you, protecting that which I loved. I held you together until you could hold yourself together. But even then, I held on. After that, there was Lawrence. There was Tim. There was Ashton. I held you through them all and shielded you from all of the hurt which they offered to you.

There were so many people that terrorized you for so many years. There were so many times that I tried to protect you that I never thought about how I was really hurting you. I never thought about how my presence around you brought more negativity to your life. Back then, I failed to see how the girls picked on you because they were jealous. I failed to acknowledge how the guys would try to hurt you because they saw it as a challenge. They wanted to see how far they could go. They wanted to see how many people I could defend against. They wanted to see if they could crack me and get their hands on you.

I remember the last time. It was eighth grade. I was walking back to the main building from the culinary building when I saw it. There were about ten boys in our grade standing around in a circle. I remember thinking that it could only mean one thing: they were going to beat someone senseless. I felt bad for the poor fella. But it was different than usual. Instead of evading the situation, the girls were on the side, cheering. Then, one of them saw me and called out my name. The guys saw me and a cheer emanated from their blackened souls. Amy and Emma screamed, "Mess her up real good!" They smirked at me and giggled. That's when I heard it: a blood-curdling scream that froze my body still, calling out to me. A scream of my name, coming from the person whom I love so dearly. Laura, I didn't even hesitate. I bursted right into the circle and just let out all of my fury. I tried to make my way towards you, but there were too many guys. I just kept doling out punches. I kept beating the guys until they fell to the ground. There were too many of them. I wanted to get to you, but they were everywhere. I must've only taken out about four guys when I saw you with him. I saw him approaching you from behind, lugging a heavy textbook. I began to run. I tried to reach you, but my legs were not strong enough. They would not carry me to you fast enough to save you. "Laura", I yelled. I called out your name. But, just then, Josh swung the textbook over his shoulder and hit you in the head. You crumbled to the ground. I watched your eyes roll back into your head as your lifeless, limp body shut down. I tackled Josh. I beat him until he was just like you: an unconscious, still form. I knocked him down and made sure that he wouldn't be able to hurt anybody else for a while. Then, I turned to you. My heart broke at the sight of you, blood caking your hair. I brushed the loose strands out of your face. I told you that I loved you. I'm not sure when I began crying, but when the janitor came by, asking questions, I couldn't tell him anything. My throat was closed up and my face was salty and snotty. He told me to leave before I got in anymore trouble. I don't know why I listened to him. I should have taken you to a hospital, but Laura, I couldn't think.

I carried you home. When your mom answered the door she broke down crying. Then, she began to yell at me. She asked the normal questions: what happened, how did it happen, and how did I allow this to happen? I walked past her and into your room. I put you down on your bed. I fluffed your pillow. I arranged your blankets over you. I took some napkins and wiped the blood from your hair. On my way out of your room, I looked back at you. You looked so peaceful, like an angel sent from heaven, come to grace us with her presence. You could have been sleeping, for all I knew. I closed the door and let you, the angel, heal without me beside you.

Your mother was not happy. She yelled at me. she screamed at me. She cried with me. She spoke to me of her recent divorce. She told me about how after years - after decades - he just walked out, never to be heard from again. She said that men were not to be trusted. I agreed. She said that all men do is hurt those whom they love, even if it's involuntary. I agreed. She confirmed everything that I had thought of our friendship. She told me that I am only hurting you. Those boys hurt you because they want to challenge me. Those girls picked on you because they want... well, me. I agreed. I agreed with everything that she said that night. We agreed that you would be better without me, even though I loved you. I told her that I loved you. She sighed and told me that young love never lasts. "Heck," I remember her saying, "no love ever lasts".

I tried not to think about what it would be like for you when you woke up. I tried not to think about when you realized that I was nowhere to be found... that I didn't want to be found. I tried not to think about how I would never again be at your side when you needed me, hold you hand, and help you up. I tried not to think about how there would be no one there to hold you together when you cracked and fell apart. I tried to think about how you wouldn't need someone to hold you together because without me, no one would try to break you. I hurt, but it was all for you. I left your life, my angel, and let you go one without me.

I know that we can never be together again, for that would bring you harm. But, I miss you. I still love you, Laura. I just need to protect you.

With much love,

Hayden. 

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Chapter Six, hoozah! 

This is my longest chapter yet! It is six hundred words longer than the last one! Yay! So, that's two long chapters in a row. I really love my readers, haha. A big thank you to my followers and everyone else who has been following along.  Never stop being so awesome!

Share your thoughts with me! Do you like the story? What do you think between the parallel sides of the story? Now that you know why Hayden abandoned Laura, how do you feel about him? Do you think that he did the right thing, or should he have stayed by her side? Also, it was Josh that knocked her out! Why do you think that Hayden would hang out with him after what Josh did to Laura? Tell me what you think.

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Don't Forget To Be Awesome,

-NerdilyNerdy