Enjoy this very special chapter XD

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Dear Hayden,

I saw you that day. You were staring at her. Again. You just stood there, a hair breadth away from me, talking to me, but you weren't there. No, you're mind was with her. And you looked so at peace with the world. You looked so happy just to be. And when you're eyes briefly locked with hers, a small smile made its way onto your face. It was adorable. I hated it.

I hated it because it was for her.

Hayden, the very first time I saw you, I'd known that I would love you. It would be a deep and meaningful love that would conquer all. It would be all-encompassing and would run deep within my veins. My veins. Not yours, Hayden. No, not yours.

I always knew that this would be a one-sided, unrequited love. I know it, and yet I still hoped. Everyone kind of has to hope.

Hayden, that was third grade. But even then, it wasn't a little, nothing crush. It was love. This is love.

Hayden, we were great together. As friends, you know. You were always there. We went rock-climbing every sunday. Everyday after school, you would be at my house and we'd just pass a ball back and forth, talking. In class, we would pass notes back in forth, gossiping about everyone. We talked about the suckiness of the teachers, the cootie-contaminated girls, the terrible school system. We talked about everything that there was to discuss, until she came.

She ruined everything. She took everything that there was between us and threw it to the ground in a heap of pain, loss, and longing.

She made me irrelevant in your life.

She took my place.

She ruined us.

she ruined us

She ruined me.

Soon, you were with her on Sundays, leaving me to the rock-wall alone. You failed to show up at my house after school. I played ball alone. You passed notes with her, her giggling all the while. It was sickening, really.

It was lonely, really.

It was lonely.

Hayden, she just came into our lives and settled in your heart. Was I not already dwelling there? Did I not already have a permanent home there? Was it that easy to replace me?

Hayden, I just want you to understand. I don't want you to hate me. I need you to know of my love for you, so that you do not think poorly of me. I need for you not to make assumptions.

Hayden, I didn't mean for anything to happen today. It was you, after all who set this all into motion. It was you and her. Together. It was the whole world on one side and me on the other. Alone.

Hayden, can't you see that I love you? You were crying today in the hallway. You cannot deny it. I saw the tears leak from your eyes. I knew the pain she caused you. I knew your love for her, as you turned away so she could be protected from seeing the damage she brought about. Hayden, if you taught me anything after all these years it's that love cannot persist if it never exists.

I came over. I put a comforting hand on your shoulder. I asked why you were so quiet. I wanted you to open up to me. I wanted you to spill the beans. I wanted to be able to everything back into order and piece you back together.

Instead, you remained silent.

She hurt you, Hayden. She hurt me. We had to fix that.

Tim and Ashton went to protect you as I approached the devil herself. I smiled sadly at the wicked beauty who ruined our lives. I tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. You wanted her to be perfect, after all. Right, Hayden? Right?

Hayden, when I asked if there was anything going on between the two of you, why did you lie? It's so apparent, and yet you decided to avoid the truth and lie to my face. You lied to me - the friend you has loved you for years. Me, the person who should be with you. You lied to me, Hayden. You fucking lied to me.

Hayden, I don't even know what the hell went on in your mind, for the next second you were packing punches into the only friends you have ever known. In seconds, you had Ashton and Tim on the ground. It was all Laura's fault.

Hayden, I can't believe that you are so blinded by love that you cannot see what she did to me. To us. To everyone.

Hayden, I'll admit, I lost my temper. I almost hit her. But, you saved me. Hayden, You jumped in front of me and took the blow to your stomach.

Hayden, you hit me. I'll admit, it hurt. My nose is probably broken, and my face bruised, but I deserved it.

But, Hayden, what do you see in her? I asked you then and I'll ask it again. I always will. I'll never understand it. What does she have that I don't?

You had told me that she was perfect. But, I didn't need to hear that, Hayden. I wanted to know why you can't like me like I care for you.

You told me that you like her because she is everything that I'm not.

I asked if it was because I'm gay.

You said no.

You fucking lied, Hayden.

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Hayden, I needed you though. Even after everything you had just done, I needed you.

I called out to you.

You kept on walking.

I love you.

-Josh

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Chapter 15 is here! Yay!

Thank you so much to my followers and everyone else who has been following along

 ~(O-O)~. You guys are amazing! Never stop being so awesome! 

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How was your summer? 

Looking forward to school? XD

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-NerdilyNerdy