Chapter Forty-Two

I called my name as I crashed the gates

Still I can't escape this feeling that something ain't right

"How's he holding up?" Liam asked after Niall went upstairs to lay down for a little while. I sighed as I shook my head, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"He's doing the best he can." I said, taking a deep breath before giving Liam a tight smile.

"And what about you?" Liam looked at me sadly. I shrugged, not really sure how I was feeling.

My three year old son was missing.

My three year old BLIND son was missing.

He was God knows where with God knows who. I couldn't get the sick feeling in my stomach to go away.

"I'm okay." I said after a minute, but the look on Liam's face showed me that he didn't believe me. I wasn't really sure how he expected me to answer that.

"They're going to find him." Liam said. I could tell he was trying to stay positive, but that wasn't what I wanted to hear. I wanted him to tell me that they did find him.

I wanted him to say that this was all just some sick joke and that Zayn is sitting with Jonah at their place.

But I knew that wasn't going to happen.

This wasn't a movie.

"I want to believe you Liam. I really do, but right now all I can focus on is the fact that my son isn't home and safe. I knew Ashton was insane, but I never thought he would take it this far." I trailed off, letting out a shaky breath as I looked away from Liam. Liam sighed before pulling me in for a hug.

"It's going to be okay. He's going to be okay."

"Can you promise me that he will be?" I whispered, biting my bottom lip as I hid my face into his shoulder. Liam was quiet for a minute which in all honesty wasn't very reassuring.

"He's a Styles... it's kind of in the job description to be okay." Liam said, earning a sad chuckle from me.

"We're hardly okay Li."

"Harry... You and Niall are two of the strongest people I know. You're always sticking together when times get tough... You're always okay." Liam said, almost as if he was expecting that would make me feel better.

It really didn't.

Why?

Because I didn't believe him.

"Liam. Niall and I are two very f ucked up people who ended up falling in love and had a family. We're nowhere close to being okay or strong." I said, shaking my head as I looked at him. Liam rolled his eyes at that, smacking the back of my head.

"You're both f ucked up, I'll give you that... but you guys work." Liam said, almost daring me to say something against it.

"Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him or my family. I feel like they deserve someone so much better than me... and with Jonah being missing right now... I can't help but feel like this is my fault. I brought Ashton into our lives again, I allowed this to happen. So Liam, do you wanna tell me that Niall and I are going to be okay after this? I can assure he's probably upstairs right now hating me. He's probably blaming me for all of this, but I don't care because he would be right. This is my fault." Liam glared at me, giving a dramatic sigh before smacking me upside the head for the second time.

"Ow!" I said a little dramatically, looking at Liam like he had lost his mind.

"You're an idiot. This isn't your fault. The only person who's at fault here is whoever took Jonah. Sure, you were an ass to Ashton but it's not your fault that he went crazy. He wouldn't accept the fact you didn't want to be with him, you didn't give him hope to believe otherwise. So will you and Niall stop blaming yourselves?" Liam grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at me. I glared right back, not liking his attitude.

He always gave me attitude.

"Whatever Liam. You can say what you want, but you don't know Ashton. You don't know what he's capable of."

"How do you even know it was Ashton? You said it yourself, there's a chance it was Niall's mum."

"Why would she take Jonah?"

"Why would Ashton take him?!" Liam retorted, nearly yelling at me as he huffed in disbelief.

"Because he's psychotic. He told me he wanted me to hurt like him... and I'm f ucking hurting right now." I shouted, not liking the fact that Liam couldn't see what was right in front of him.

"Niall's mum has a reason too Harry. She hates you because she thinks you're the reason why her son hates her.... she probably saw Jonah as a second chance... a second Niall." Liam stated it like it was the most obvious thing, but he didn't know Niall's mum either.

"You know.... if I didn't know any better Liam, I would say they're working together." I meant to say it as just a side comment, but the sick feeling in my stomach just seemed to get worse at the mere mention of the idea. Liam's eyes met mine and I could see he was thinking the same thing.

"Shit."

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Hi. Yes. It's been three days.

I'm very sorry about that. I haven't been feeling very well and I had no motivation to write this chapter.

I'm still not very happy with it but it's the best I had haha.

Anyways. I'm sure you guys are sick of me posting new stories but I can't help it.

If you remember back in SATSD I mentioned a NARRY that I had thought of called Twenty-Two Things To Do Before I Leave You...

Well I finally posted it and it would honestly mean a lot if you guys checked it out and left some feedback. Below is the description lol.

So yeah.

Thanks :)

Comment

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Vote

Connie xx

Twenty-Two things To Do Before I Leave You

"Number three... Tell Katniss Everdeen she's a whore... Seriously?"

"What? She plays both of them! If anyone deserves Peeta it's me."

"That's a weird thing to have on your bucket list..."

"It's more than just a bucket list Harry..."

"Oh really? Then what is it?"

"It's my list of things to do before I leave you, sadly I didn't really get a chance to add much to it... There's only 22 things."

"That's sweet and all but... What does Katniss have to do with any of this?"