Because the cry I cried for Queen of Tears today😭

It's a long chapter btw🙂

SAADATU'S POV.

KANO, NIGERIA.

"I don't want to marry Hassan." I confessed, my head hung low as the patterns of the carpet in Yaaya's living room suddenly look so interesting. I'd honestly choose to stare at anything than my father seated across me.

The seven days are up, and I'm slapped with that reality which I've been dreading much to my dismay. But, since there's no avoiding it, I might as well use the chance I have to at least get one thing I want—which is to not become Hassan's bride. Not even in my wildest thoughts do I want that.

Silence ensued, my stomach in more knots. I was tempted, so tempted to look up and risk meeting my father's scrutinizing gaze but I dare not else I might just bolt out of the living room, never looking back again. I couldn't though. So, I swallowed thickly and dug my thumbnail into my index finger, my heart racing so loudly I could hear it.

Then, Yaaya's voice came, after those torturing seconds of silence. "Do you have someone you want to marry then?" That was his way of dismissing Hassan's notion, and moving onto the next agenda.

I released a shaky breath, my other hand fisting by the side as my eyes flicked close, his question sinking in. Swallowing thickly, I parted my lips to answer, my throat suddenly parched and my hands clammy. "No." I kept my voice low. "I don't have anyone." I confessed, because there's no point lying here.

I heard him hum, as if processing the answer, I've given. Another beat passed, then he asked. "Do you give your consent to this marriage then?" His voice was soft. "Do you agree with whoever your mother and I will choose for you?"

Do I consent to this marriage? Truthfully? No.

I don't. But, if it's up to me, I wouldn't consent to any, not just this one. Let's just say I have a thing against marriage in general, and I'd do anything I can to avoid it, to avoid ever being married but that's a stupid thought, I can never vocalize it else my parents would believe I'm not just hopeless, but I've gone nuts as well. Instead of getting me married, they'll just get me admitted to a hospital, a psychiatry. Better yet, they'll call a malam yazo yamin ruqiya.

I can practically hear Yaya Maryam's voice exclaiming, "Daman Anty nagaya muku Walida ba lafiya ba, sai da addua." She would be the one to bring the Malam, no doubt there.

In all fairness, I can't blame her or anyone else. Even I would've done the same. But, that means I know the outcome of me admitting my actual feeling. If I avoid it now, how can I avoid it next year? Or the year after that? It's bound to happen regardless.

"Yes." I said instead, contrary to the thoughts in my mind. There's no point fighting the inevitable.

Yaaya released a sigh of relief, believing my words without second guessing it. "Masha Allah. I'll speak to your mother then, whoever we decide, we'll let you know." I'd rather not know, in case I'll pick 101 faults in him before the wedding, but I kept those thoughts locked in.

Instead, I simply nodded.

"Allah miki albarka. Allah ya sa alkhairi a wannan hadi."

"Ameen." Like that, I signed away my freedom, deciding to marry Allah knows who. At the very least, it's not Hassan.

~*~

Faiza: So, any update on the whole potential husband thing? Any idea who he is?

Me: Nope. And I'm not interested in asking.

Faiza: Why the hell not?

Me: I'd rather not know before I come up with 101 reasons why I don't like him. Is that a good enough excuse?

Faiza: Well, I guess.

Three dots appeared after the text, then it disappeared. A few seconds later, it reappeared again before her text came in.

Faiza: I have so much to rant to you about. Are you off work? I want to call.

Me: I'm just rounding up. I'll call you once I'm out.

With that message sent, I locked my phone and got off the lab stool, packing up my belongings—ranging from my logbook, to the little notebook I brought along with me, tucking it all in my tote bag where my already folded lab-coat is. Sliding it over my shoulder, I held my phone in my other hand, fixing my navy jilbaab one last time before I made my way to the exit of the lab where I'm current situated for my SIWES.

Upon stepping out into the hallway, I was immediately welcomed by the sight of patients walking around, coupled with doctors on with their work and a few nurses were in sight as well, all headed to their respective destinations.

My lips slanted into a small smile as I made my over to the nurses' station to bid them farewell before I head out. However, upon approaching them, none of them noticed my presence as they were hurdled up, no doubt gossiping about the next patient that annoyed the living crap out of them.

I won't blame them really. Despite only being here for about a week, from what I've seen, people are quick to judge nurses. Sure, there are some rude ones but that being said, they can't be generalized. Some of the things certain patients do, anyone would be annoyed really. Then again, who am I to judge either part? That's not my role here anyway.

However, my earlier thoughts were proved wrong when I heard the string of statements exchanged between them.

"Keh wallahi da gaske nake, I heard they are planning to getting married." One of them gushed over to the others, sounding overly excited might I add. I couldn't help but chuckle slightly. The way she said it, one would think she's the one getting married.

From where I stood, I noticed the one opposite her had her eyes dilated, "Seriously? Damn. I was hoping I had a shot with him." She huffed out a breath, her lips slanted into a deep frown. "I mean, he even smiled at me the other day. It's obvious I made his heart move."

"He smiled out of courtesy. You were being excessively nice to him, and ignoring you would've made you label him as rude."

"Whatever, he still smiled so I'll believe what I want to believe." That right there is our delusional sister, ladies and gentlemen. Delulu is indeed, the solulu.

Another scoffed, as if the other had said something unbelievable. "You wish." She snickered. "Everyone knows Dr. AB and Dr. Amal are meant for each other. They are just so perfect together. They went to the same university, same set, and now work in the same hospital. That right there is fate, ladies."

"Dr. Amal is so rude though."

"She's not rude. You just don't like her, and she's strict when it comes to work so..."

"Still, she's not right for Dr. AB. He's way too calm to be stuck with her."

"Well, it seems they are finally taking their relationship to the next level so ladies, we'll have a wedding soon so..." That came from the nurse that brought up the topic in the first place. Her eyes trailed off, and when they met mine, they dilated. "...Oh, Walida!" She waved.

The others turned around as well, following her line of sight. Upon noticing me situated a few feet away from them, they smiled sheepishly and waved at me as well. I smiled back, closing the distance between us.

"You guys were too entranced by your conversation; you didn't even notice my presence." I commented, though my lips were still slanted into a smile, amused by their expressions.

The one standing beside me, Asiya, the one that was first to wave at me hummed. "Ai ina gaya miki, magana ake ta top two of Neurosurgery. The power couple Dr. AB and Amal. Nothing is impossible if you put them together. And they are finally getting married! Or so I heard."

Unable to help myself, I chuckled, seeing how excited she truly was. "Are you the bride's friend or something?" I couldn't help but ask.

Asiya made a face, as if asking if I actually just asked her that. "Dr. Amal isn't friends with anyone I tell you. The only one she's nice to is Dr. AB. I mean it makes sense since they are together and all..." She bobbed her shoulders,

I arched a brow, not knowing any of the two they are talking about. The reason is simple, one, I've only been here for a week. And two, I have nothing to do with Neurosurgery, my work is in the lab. So, aside from perhaps running into them in the hallways, I won't have anything to do with them---or so I hope.

"I ship them really." Another one of the nurses chipped in.

Another shook her head. "I don't." She sounds as if she is firm on her stand. "He is supposed to stay single for the sake of our hearts." That made another round of arguments to start amongst the hurdled up group of nurses, and I found myself simply staring at them, too amused by how invested they are in someone else's lives.

Just as I parted my lips to cut them midway and announce my departure, Asiya looked over my shoulders', her eyes widening as she hastily tapped the table between them all. "Guys, guys! Look at them, gasu chan!"

Now invested in the conversation as well, I turned around just as all the other nurses did to get a glimpse of the infamous couple that has all the nurses' way too invested in their relationship. My eyes fell on the duo as they stepped out of one of the patient's room, conversing.

The first one my gaze fell on was the lady in pearl white coat with a brown veil wrapped into a hijab, her gaze on the other doctor along with her. She's Dr. Amal no doubt. Even from the distance between us, I could make out her facial expression.

With beautiful light skin, the color went well with the crisp white coat she has on, ironed to perfection. True to the nurses' words, she doesn't seem like the type that would be all friendly really, because her lips were set into a tight line, her brows cinched as she listened to the doctor beside her. She seems to be the type that's really invested in her work no doubt.

My gaze then slanted over to the male doctor, who had his head down as he stared at the chart in his hand. I didn't have to ponder over his appearance for long, because he suddenly lifted his head to look at her, and even from the side view, I could very much recognize that face.

And if I don't, the glasses he reached his index finger up to fix, I would recall.

Dr. AB...AB... Adnan Bayero.

Why didn't I think of that before? Well, maybe because the hospital is way damn big and the possibility of crossing paths with him is near impossible, or so I hoped. Standing there at that moment thought, we were only a reasonable distance away and by the looks of it, if they come around this area, then we may meet more than I'd like.

With a few words we couldn't comprehend, nor even hear to begin with, he tipped his head in her direction and turned around to leave, disappearing down another hallway and out of our sight. Just in time, Dr. Amal looked in our direction, her gaze falling on the group of women hurdled up and ogling at them.

From the corner of my eyes, I could hear shuffling as the nurses hastily looked away, busying themselves and making it seem like they weren't just talking about her and her love life. I was the only one that didn't look away, and quite frankly, I didn't feel the need to. Weirdly enough, I didn't even feel embarrassed to be caught staring.

Perhaps, if it was him, it would be another story but her...nah.

She held my gaze, a single brow arched as if silently asking whether there's something up. When did I didn't respond, or show any sign of releasing what she meant, she dropped the brow, her frown deepening. Shaking her head, she turned around and disappeared as well.

I took that as my cue to leave. "I'll get going now." I offered the group of nurses a smile and a slight wave, as I left the nurses station and headed out of the building. Slipping my hand into my bag, I brought out my Airpods and plugged them in, scrolling through my Spotify and playing the first song on my favorite playlist. The Way by Ariana Grande filled my ears almost instantly as I looked around the parking lot, trying to spot Muazu's car but it wasn't in sight.

I suspired, finding a nearby bench and settling on it, waiting for him—whenever he decides to come anyway. In the meantime, I brought out my phone, aimlessly scrolling through Pinterest just to avoid looking awkward in public. But, even as I did that, my mind couldn't help but go back to the scene from earlier. Adnan with that Amal lady. Then, his words from two days ago came to my mind, reminding me of the moment he dropped me off at home.

"Why am I not your type anymore?" He asked, his gaze holding mine, looking genuinely curious.

I swallowed thickly, my fingers lingering on the door handle as I stared back at him, my eyes wide and if I were light skinned like those Koreans in k-drama or Chinese in C-Drama, then my face would be as red as a potato. Or there would be an edit that would make it seem so.

I didn't think he heard us, but apparently, he did. God, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole so I won't have to deal with this embarrassment. I could swear I can hear my heart racing behind my ribcage, suddenly tongue-tied.

"I...Uhm..." I folded my lips in, feeling as though the space in the car was too small despite it being big enough. Not knowing how to react, I let out a small, uneasy chuckle. "You heard that?" I couldn't help but ask, even those I cursed myself the moment those words left my lips.

He nodded, not even pretending otherwise so I can save my face at the very least. "From the moment you said we wouldn't work out." He added casually, like he's talking about the weather and not me potentially embarrassing myself.

"Nashiga uku." I mumbled, my fingers curling into a fist as it took everything in me to not bolt out of the car. I mean, I've embarrassed myself and my generation as a whole one too many times because of this man. One more time wouldn't do any harm, right?

I'm pretty sure my ancestors up there will be shaking their heads at me, bickering who I take this attitude from but yeah...it wouldn't do any harm. Just open the door slowly, and sprint out like a headless chicken. Sounds easily and doable, much better than facing him.

Perhaps, he could sense the mortification in my tone, or it was way too obvious on my expression, but I could swear I saw the corner of his lips tilt upwards, but it disappeared as soon as it came. "I'm just curious, but you don't have to answer." He gave me a way out.

I offered him a smile of gratitude, because I'd rather stick to that. What would I tell him? That I think he's way too brooding and quite probably a jerk? No, that will be too judgmental on my part. I'd rather keep the thoughts to myself.

His fingers drummed the steering wheel, silence ensuing for a few seconds. Just as I thought of just slipping out, his voice came again, this time sounding more serious. "I know you're all probably just playing around, but don't pay any heed to them. Find a good man, okay?"

"Is that your way of telling me to not bother you?" I couldn't help it. The words just slipped out before I could even digest it and the thought entirely. I didn't regret it though, for some reason unbeknownst to me.

He held my gaze for a few seconds, the wheels in his head no doubt turning and wondering just how the configuration of my mind words. I know, even I would find me weird. His response wasn't what I expect though. "I have someone." He confessed.

"Oh." I suspected that, there's no way this man is single. This is why I didn't believe it when Faiza said he was.

He did not need to elaborate on the matter. I understood. Besides, he has no reason to explain to me.

So, I nodded, offering him a small smile. "Goodnight." I put an end to the conversation there, unlocking the door and stepping out. Before I closed the door behind me, I added. "Thanks for the drive nonetheless." With that, I turned around and never looked back.

My fingers stopped scrolling through the Pinterest, as I put the puzzles back together. He said he has someone, and I never bothered myself over it because I wasn't even considering it in the first place. Now, it seems to make sense more. If what the nurses said is true, then he certainly is planning to marry this Dr. Amal of his. What he told me could serve as a certification of the matter as well.

I kissed my teeth, sinking back into the bench. I hate to say it, but they really do make a good pair as well. For the eighteen year-old me who had a major crush on him for a long time, I can't say I like this Dr. Amal lady. Then again, who am I to care? I'm getting married anyways.

Amidst my thought, I spotted Muazu driving into the parking lot. Getting on my feet, I dusted my Jilbab off the dirt I'd picked there and made my way towards hi, closing the chapter of the Neurosurgery power couple and leaving it in the past where it belongs because it's no longer part of my story.

And as Ariana Grande said, "Thank you, next!"

***

Well, here comes today's chapter. I hope you enjoyed it.

And we meet our neurosurgery couple, and a certain Dr. Amal. You hate her don't you? I just know how readers think.

I want to write more of these hospital scenes sha, I hope I won't change my mind. And our Saadatu's marriage is coming closer🙂🥳 party after party.

Well I have nothing more to say again today. Have a good night🙂

Love, Jannah Mia💕