Ab Yaya AB4745  na you cause this one🥲

     SA'ADATU'S POV.

KANO, NIGERIA.

Denial is one thing, and no confirmation is another thing entirely.

I would like to believe my parents could not have done that to me. I followed their wishes and married Khalil, should I not have a choice this time around? Should they not consult me before agreeing to something like this?

The issue of Hassan's resurfaced marriage proposal is nothing new, I have been aware of it for a while. Anty and I were casually having a conversation one day when she brought it up, and as per the casual conversation it was, I expressed my blatant disagree towards it, for not even in my dreams shall I marry him.

I thought it was over between us when I got married, and he did as well. I did not expect him to come back like this, and I certainly did not expect him to act so overbearing and disrespectful. Is this the man my parents want me to marry? Am I the only one seeing the fault in both this man and his mother?

It cannot be...I would like to believe my parents cannot truly be this cruel to me.

Hassan and I his mother left after he had dropped the bombshell, leaving more insults in its awake. I could not bring myself to move from my position, shock keeping me rooted in that exact position. I was trying to digest the words. No, actually, not. I was not trying to digest it; I was trying to deny it.

Anty's hand placed on my arm jolted me back to reality, and I found myself turning my head around to fixate my eyes on her. She stared at me with a solemn expression, then said. "Kije ki tafi, kinji?" She said, as if nothing just transpired, as if whatever happened just now did not happen at all.

"Anty," Disbelief must have masked my tone and expression as I stared at her. "Don't you think you owe me an explanation?" My tone came out much softer than I expected, a testament of what would be of me shall this turn out to be true.

Does she truly expect me to head out again? I do not want to do anything at this moment, especially not to leave this house and meet others, then pretend as if nothing had happened entirely. How can I pretend as if my whole life is not crumbling before me once again? How?

Anty's expression remained calm, though I could see the storm and unspoken turmoil behind her orbs. "We will talk when you come back," She breathed out. "Kije kawai. I am sure they will be waiting for you."

"But--"

"Go, Walida." Her tone was firm, leaving no space for arguments.

I parted my lips to say something, but I knew I could not bring myself to say anything that I will not regret later on. So, I folded my lips in instead, my eyes glossing over as I nodded. "Okay," I stated, a lump forming in my throat as tears gathered in my eyes. "Sai na dawo." My voice broke, but I did not stop to see the look on her face as I turned around to walk out, the tears sliding down my face even before I made it out of the house.

I wiped them away, but more tears only spilled as I made my way out of the house and towards the garage where my car is parked. Through my blurry eyes, I managed to open the door and slid in. However, as I settled inside and dropped my bag aside, I made no move to start the car, and instead, allowed more tears to drop, burying my face between my palms, my heart aching terribly so.

The mere thought of going out to meet others no longer settled right within me, but the thought of staying back in this house made me feel sick to the core. I hated it. The house, I hated my aunt, and I hated Hassan. I hated the entire mentality of a Northern Nigerian home where our parents think they could arrange our marriages without our consent because that certainly does not align with our religion.

But, what I hated more than anything at that moment was being a widow. And in that moment, I missed Khalil, terribly. For I know, if he were here, this would not have happened. I would not have felt as though I am all alone in this world if he were here, because that is what I feel the most in this moment.

Alone, and helpless. Broken, quite possibly, beyond repair. Lacking any worth to write about. In their words, truly, useless. Maybe that is why my parents are in a rush to just marry off to anyone.

I have no idea how long I sat in the car and cried my eyes out, but at one point, the tears no longer fell, and instead, I was left with a heavy heart that silently wept the tears my eyes could no longer let out.

I turned the car on, no longer wanting to stay in the house, and then drove out. But, I did not head towards the Bayero mansion. If anything, I had decided against going to Hajiya's at this moment, because I know she would see right through me, and I am not sure I would be able to see her without breaking down entirely. I am not sure if crying will solve my problem, which is why I decided to no longer shed any.

I drove around for a bit, until I was sure I had calmed myself just enough to head to Ya Mama's. By the time I arrived at hers, it was already Asr prayer time, and there were a couple of cars there already. When I parked, I checked my face in the mirror, glad my eyes were no longer red and puffy, leaving very little trace of tears.

Once satisfied with how I look, I picked up my car and stepped out, instantly plastering a fake smile on my face as I entered the house, welcomed by the said woman almost immediately. She pulled me into her warm embrace, her cheerful attitude contagious, and my fake smile somehow turned genuine.

I could not tell if she noticed something off about me, but if she did, then she did not show it. Instead, she pulled me along with her to the guest room when I told her I wanted to pray first before heading to the backyard where she had set up. Apparently, there were already some guests in the room, so, she took me to her room instead so I could pray there. Faiza was yet to arrive surprisingly.

Ya Mama left me alone after handing over a hijab, and I prayed. After praying, my heart truly felt lighter, though my worries, and anger from earlier was still very much there, but it had reduced down a notch. I stayed back a little to touch up my makeup, so my expression would not be that obvious before I stepped out again, after fixing my veil in place once again.

Upon stepping foot in the backyard, to say I was awestruck would be an understatement given just how beautiful Ya Mama managed to make the place look. Each year, she truly manages to outshine herself more than the last. Though this time she went for a simpler setting, trading the usual chairs and tables for carpets so one would settle down comfortably. By the sides, there were tables set of various things—from the food, to the desert, to the refreshments. Not to mention, the Eid décor and even a photo booth as well, where some ladies were already, snapping pictures away.

Considering it was already about half past four, most, if not all of the guests had arrived already, both the ladies, and the men—though my glance did not linger much on them, I spotted some already by the grill.

A pair of small arms wrapping around my legs jolted me back to reality, and my mood instantly lifted when I looked down and noticed who it was. "Amanini," I cooed, leaning down to pick up the girl into my arms, noticing she had already dirtied her outfit. How she manages to reach where I am remained a mystery to me, because the girl only started to learn how to walk recently, and has not yet fully gotten a grasp of it.

Her face broke into a wide grin, her hands resting on my cheeks, "Tu!" She exclaimed, making me giggle at her failed attempt to mimic her mother's pronunciation of my name 'Atu'.

I reached one hand out to pat her head, while the other held her as I spoke, "Ina mamanki, huh? Ta tafi yawo ta barki ko?" She giggled, obviously not knowing what I said but being the jovial child she is, she seemed to find everything funny. Despite knowing, she could not understand, I continued, simply for the fun of it. "This mother of yours. You should leave her and just come to me ko? I will take good care of you, okay?"

"Sa'adatu!!" Faiza's voice suddenly came from the side, just time for me to turn and see her rushing over to me. The moment she was within arm's length, she threw her arms around me, and pulled me into a tight hug, almost strangling me.

"Keh, sakeni. I cannot breathe," I tapped her arm, playfully hissing as I tried to pull away from her before she could strangle the poor kid in my arms.

She refused to let go although her hold loosened slightly, "Haba now, Sa'adatu my love. Masoyiyata."

"Nabi my love da slippers." I managed to shrug her away from me, then feigned a serious look as I glared at her. "Don't think I have forgotten what you did to me yesterday." I was yet to scold her for putting me on speaker. What if I slipped and said something please? Can she not be a good friend for once?

She offered me a cheeky grin instead, "My love, habibty," She repeated, "Haba in-law ta. Matar babban Yaya. Come on now, smile before he sees me and scold me for making his woman upset because wallahi he would. Help me here now."

I hissed, shaking my head as I walked away from her, not wanting to stand there and listen to her joke about things like that. I am honestly not in the mood for it today, I could not bring myself to feel anything but annoyance when she brought up the topic, as it reminded me of the situation I have back at home waiting for me. But of course, she does not know that, and instead mistook my silence as me being shy.

I ignored her and the topic entirely as I made my way towards the ladies, exchanging pleasantries with those that I knew, and merely offering smiles to those that I do not know, before settling down on the space Ya Mama gestured over for me to come, beside her. Faiza settled down by my side, and I was glad for the little circle I joined because I was familiar with all of them. Some of the guys and the ladies were conversing, while some had simply formed groups and were having a conversation amongst themselves. I think there should be about twenty five to thirty people here in total, minus the kids running around and having fun in their own designated playground.

Soon enough, Faiza had brought over food, deserts and refreshments for me, and I thanked her with a smile before I dug in, Amani still in my arms. I tried to join in the conversation, or at least, stay in it but I had zoned out soon enough, my gaze wandering around the place.

In the course of so, my gaze found him. My lips parted almost immediately in surprise, my eyes dilating slightly, but not because I was surprised to see him amongst the guys, seemingly having fun as well. He was not by the grill, but rather seated with with Ya Mahmood on the carpet beside ours, along with a couple of guys as they conversed.

As per his usual character, he was not one of those speaking—merely smiling at the words they said, seemingly caught up in it, unlike I, who was zoning out of the conversation here. Unlike usual, upon seeing him, my heart squeezed, in an aching way though. But the surprise did not stem from that, but rather, his outfit.

He was wearing a blue outfit—a beautiful kaftan which I could only assume has its babban riga missing, and his cap perched up perfectly on his head, his glasses present---as well...we were matching.

As if he could feel my gaze on him or something, he suddenly yawed his gaze in our direction, and our gaze met. Realization dawned on me that I had been staring, his smile never wavering as he held my gaze. I was startled though, so I looked away, pretending to be interested in whatever Amani, still in my arms, was blabbing about in her baby language, my heart rate spiking.

I blinked, releasing a couple of breaths as I tried to shake off the feeling of his gaze still on me, wishing I could disappear from here. I had thought being here would get rid of my dampened mood, but it was still there, depriving me of being able to enjoy the evening as I had initially planned.

The conversation going on in the group seeped into my mind, and I became somewhat aware of it through my mind was truly not there. I recognize the voice was Zainab's—Faiza's cousin that I was with during her wedding.

"...relationship is cute. However, I still believe, there will be no greater love story in this family than that between Ya Adnan and Naima. I have to admit, kai anyi soyyaya. Love that withstands all odds truly." Perhaps, it was the name of the man in the equation that captured my attention, or the new lady whose name I had never heard of before. Or maybe, it was the admiration coming from Zainab, whom I knew, just as well as everyone else here that she had a crush on him---maybe still does, who knows?

I did not look up, though showed any sign of me being aware of their conversation as another lady's voice came, one whose face I recognize as one of the Bayero cousins, but could not quite remember the name truly. "Kai, you are right. I think everyone in the family knows the love Adnan has for that lady. I have never seen him in love before, until her. It is like he is a different person entirely,"

"I know right!" Zainab agreed, "I do not think he will ever love anyone as much as he loves her really. Hurts me to admit this, but that is the truth."

"Gaskiya dai..."

No longer being able to sit there and listen to that conversation, or any really, I found myself getting on my feet, "Excuse me," I offered them a small smile, "Ina zuwa." I excused myself from the group, ignoring the look Faiza gave me because God knows I do not want to hear whatever it is she might say, not in the mood to be teased for anything.

Slipping into my shoes, I thought of leaving Amani here but the girl seems to have no plans of letting me go, so I simply left with her—making my way back into the house, instantly relieved when I was welcomed with silence, contrary to the noise outside that was giving me a headache.

Making my way towards the living room, I settled down on one of the couches, leaning my arm on the armrest and my head on it as I massaged my temples to get rid of the growing headache, my eyes flickered close. At this point, I want nothing but to be in my bed and process everything, because everything that has happened today thus far is weighing on my mind still, no matter how much I tried to ignore it.

Amani has stopped blabbing, and instead, has busied herself with playing with the bracelet on my other hand, so the silence was very much welcomed. If not for her, I would have truly just left at this moment, but I did not want to leave without informing Ya Mama at least. Besides, I haven't been here for even up to an hour, it would be too early for me to leave.

So, the best I can do is just try to get the headache to soothe down, then head back for half an hour more before leaving.

The sound of soft footsteps approaching reached my ears, but I ignored it, at least until it suddenly came to a cessation, near me. With my lips slanted into a slight frown, I peeled my eyes open, then looked up, my gaze instantly met with the sight of a water bottle extended out.

My frown deepened, so I lifted my head up, to see who had outstretched it. My lips parted slightly once it fell on the person, the dark orbs behind those ever so familiar glasses meeting mine.

Amani's excited voice broke the trance, certifying that I am indeed staring at him. "Lulu!"

He smiled, though I could not tell if it was directed at I, or Amani. But, I found myself releasing a small breath, my shoulders slumping.

*~*

Like this I had zero plans of opening this draft till Thursday but na so Ab Yaya make me write this chapter🥲

Sha for real this time I'm not updating again till Friday. Allow me to rest now😭😭

Shaaaaaa this chapter be giving me small gloomy feeling🥲 I feel bad for my girl really . Not to mention she has finally found out about Naima.

Tsaya tsaya tsaya wai shin ma who is this Naima? What happened to her? Where is she now? What is going on?

Ko dai Adnan still loves her? Kai a Wattpad muke ban son hauka. Ai kaji Kuma😂😂😂😂 if you gerritttt you gerritttt😂😭

Buttttt for real? Wetin sup now?

Toh Adnanu in shining glasses has come. Allah sa kar mu huce haushin mu a kanka sha because someone will get it 😂💀

Toh jamaa na barku na lahiya. Ku huta Lafiya Sai Friday. If you need something to read just binge read my other books🙂‍↔️ or read JADWA by mayaaawrites  because she too sabi wallhiiiii😂no cap kawai maganar kenan.

I'm done.

Have a good night.

Love, Jannah Mia💕