10. Chalk

"Hello?"

"Hey, how are you?"

She looked at the number once, before putting the phone back to her ear again.

"Caleb?"

"Yeah, Cal. How are you?"

Ray smiled and resumed pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"I'm good. You tell me, how are you? It's been so long..."

Ray heard Caleb chuckling, then he cleared his throat.

"Well, not too long, not too long at all. Just a few months, hm? But tell me, are you physically fit now?"

What?

"I am, yes. Well a year is more than just a few months, but whatever. How are you?"

"I'm splendid, now that I've heard your voice. How's your sister, your family in general? And everything else on the other side of the world?"

"Everything's good. How's your side of the world?"

"Good again. Anyway, enough small talk. What I really called you about was that I'm here. In Zircon. Want to meet up? Was here for a deal, but now that it's over, thought we'd catch up. What say? Free bird today? "

"Absolutely. When and where?"

"You tell me, you live here. I'm a tourist here."

"You ditched this place just a few years ago and you're a tourist now? Real mature, Caleb."

"Come on, help a guy out. I don't really think everything's the same after years, so you gotta stop calling me out about my birthplace; things change. You still live there, you'll know better."

Ray swirled the spoon in her cup, then it came to her.

"CB?"

"What?"

"Coffee Bean. In two hours? You want to meet today, right?"

"Yeah. CB. Very basic name. Hm. I'll be there."

"See you."

Ray drank her coffee quickly, trying to ignore the scalding hot burn on her tongue, hoping to soothe it with a cold coffee in Coffee Bean. And well, too much coffee hurt nobody. Then there was Caleb. It would be nice meeting him, with his jokes and fun, even though it had been a long while.

Ray picked up her phone again and occupied herself for a while in reading a book in pdf format, on behavior. Then closing the app, she stretched her arms to get rid of the tension.

Running to her wardrobe, she quickly got out a soft taupe coloured dress with really tiny black polka dots all over it. Getting a matching bag and a ribbon to tie up her hair in a simple ponytail, she quickly dressed up, then adding up a light layer of make-up to cover up just the little dark circles and spots, she applied a nude colored lip gloss, and after looking at the time, she slowly pulled out a pair of shoes and walked out of her room, eager to get to Coffee Bean.

Since it was close to her place, she decided to walk till there. It would hardly take her fifteen minutes, and it would exercise the muscles in her legs. And then there was the fact that she still preferred to walk, rather than drive.

Twelve minutes to her alloted time, she opened the door to Coffee Bean, only to find Caleb sitting in a booth, who looked up to meet her eyes as soon as she had perused her surroundings. So he beat her. Smiling at him, she walked in to greet him, and he enveloped her in a hug, his arms holding her in an embrace.

"Oh, Ray. So good to see you. You don't know how worried I was after-"

"Hey. Good to see you too. Please don't worry about me, I'm not a child. Do you want to order something first, or we can do that later? Whatever you want, really"

Caleb frowned, then seemed to make up his mind, as he quickly snatched the menu card off the table and scanned the items.

"Ah yes. What do you want to eat, Ray? And drink? I'll order now, so you better choose quickly."

"Hm."

Ray knew what she wanted anyway, so when Caleb called for the waiter and gave his order, she shut the menu card with flourish and gave her order as well.

"Hey, waiter! Make that two. The last item."

"Sure, sir."

Caleb narrowed his eyes at Ray and snatched the menu from her hand. Outraged and flustered, Ray hissed her next words at him.

"What the hell? Stop acting like a loose screw, Caleb. There are people around us. We are not kids on a playground, with you snatching my ball out of my hand! Act your age!"

Caleb coolly placed the menu back on the table, while beneath the table, a boot aimed a sharp kick on her fragile tarsals of her left leg.

"Ow."

"Did somebody say something about playing ball? Geez, I haven't seen a picture of one for so long. Fancy a game after this?"

Ray's glare turned icy.

"Yeah, right. Oh, come on. Lighten up. Your best friend is here, back in town. Let him have his fun, eh?"

Ray smiled in defeat, and Caleb grinned at her, his whole face lighting up, looking years younger than he really was.

"How's work back home, Caleb?"

The grin morphed into a grim smile, his shoulders slumping under the weight of his world, as Caleb leaned back to let the waiter place his order before him on the table.

"You know dad. Nothing less than perfect. I'm just trying to fill in shoes that can't be filled by my lousy feet. Dad is just expanding, like he has been doing his whole life. And I'm just stumbling, like I have been doing my whole life. Business is the usual. Cal's gotta buck up and bring his A-game. Caleb can get buried under his bunch of comic books for all he cares. They're a load of crap anyway."

Ray sighed, then let herself hold his hand, before his fingers could curl around the coffee mug. Caleb stared at her in surprise, before leaning forward and smiling at her.

"I just unloaded my bucket full of 'woe me' here, didn't I? It's your face, I'm telling you. Makes your mouth run wild and your brain shut down, before you even realize you're blabbering more than you ought to."

Ray laughed and Caleb chuckled, before sliding his hand out from under her warm palm. Ray sort of missed the contact the moment he pulled away.

"How are you doing at work, Ray?"

Ray sat up straighter, her spoon cracking the scone on her plate and hitting the plate too hard, the spoon falling out of her hand, her grip lost.

"Work. I... I took a break. An indefinite leave. Granted by my boss. Actually suggested by her, to be honest. She says I need time to collect myself, before I can continue with work, or with anything. A lot of time."

Caleb's face lost colour. Swallowing his food faster than he ought to have, he drank water, then dabbing at his lips with a tissue, he leaned forward.

"Ray? You know I'm here for you, right? I know we don't live in the same town anymore, or swim in the same pool every month with our friends, or whatever, I'm terrible with analogies, but you should know, if you don't... I am here. We all miss him. It's been really hard for me, these moments of our past hitting me in all these random situations, and I have to take a minute to realize again and again that he has really gone. And in those moments, I tell mum, to pray for him, for me, for us, so that if there is a heaven, he should be there, and watch us from there, pining over his memories like fools, instead of moving on. It must be even harder for you, to have him gone. But this pain will lessen with time, and I'll be here with you, even if not physically, but there, just like how I know your family will be there for you. As they are here for you. I miss Shayne, a lot. Just like you must do. I-"

"Wait, what? You too?"

Ray had pushed back her chair and was up on her feet, glaring at Caleb, her hand pointing at him in anger. Caleb broke off mid-speech, his mouth open in bewilderment, before he gathered himself and muttered "What?"

"You lie! You all do. And I thought, I just thought, if at least you would... but no. This was a mistake. Goodbye."

The moment Ray turned away, Caleb jumped up from his seat, hurriedly placing some cash on the table and ran after her, following her outside the shop, dismissing the stares they were getting. 

"No wait! Ray! I don't know what you're talking about. I really don't. Ray, just listen to me-"

The hand Caleb had just placed on Ray's shoulder was shoved away with force, and Caleb had a feeling the next moments were going to be a repeat of what he'd had to face just months before. 

"Please, Ray. I don't understand. Just tell me what I did. Just. Tell me. Please."

Ray angrily pushed him away when he tried to come closer, but he could see it was done with much less force that her previous shoving of his hand.

"You lied."

The words were followed by a stubborn glare directed at the ground, and Caleb halfheartedly pulled away, after trying in vain to have her look at him. But he had a few things to say as well.

"I... what did I lie about? You accused me of the same crime the last time we met, pulling the runaway act with me, when I clearly remember having rescued you and giving you a place to stay and all. My generosity back in Iridium was shoved down the drain, beginning the same way -with you suddenly starting to scream at me. What's the issue, Ray?"

Ray had seemingly forgotten her anger because she was staring at him curiously.

"What?"

"No. You just said we met in Iridium."

Caleb narrowed his eyes at Ray.

"Well, we did more than just meet, Ray. After Shayne's funeral, I was the one who picked up a broken mess from an abandoned bus-stop. Or have you forgotten that?"

The last line was delivered with a heavy does of sarcasm, but Ray seemed taken aback, and the anger that had just subsided was coming back in full force.

"Forgotten what? And what did you just say? Shayne's funeral? Have you lost your mind? Have you all lost your minds? Dead, dead, dead. What the hell? Everybody's trying to convince me he's dead. And now you too. That's exactly what I'm talking about, liar. You, you guys are all working together, trying to mess up my mind. Making me go crazy. Liars. You, and my family, and Blue. He's alive, alright? He's a living breathing human, like you, like me."

"But the accident-"

"What accident?! The one that crippled my very soul, almost killing me, and still kills me every time I sit inside a car? That one? The one they say Shayne died in? Huh? Newsflash. He was never there. Now if you're done feeding me that same old story, leave me be. I'm done here."

Ray turned and walked away, while Caleb just stared at Ray with his mouth open, and then after deliberating for a moment, he pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket, then started typing.

  ****

"Hello, Ray."

"Hello, Dr. Bush."

"So how was your week?"

Ray pursed her lips, then breathing deeply, she exhaled, trying to let go of the tension brought along with the damn question.

"It was... Alright."

"That's all? Nothing of note you'd like to tell me?"

Ray broke down.

Dr. Bush put his things down on the table, then simply watched her silently, after pushing a glass of water towards her. After a minute of sobbing, Ray looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes and hastily wiped her tears, after drinking the water she'd been given.

"Would you like to tell me what's wrong?"

Ray stayed silent, then seemingly making up her mind, she nodded, once, slowly.

Dr. Bush covered the empty glass then pulled his chair closer to the desk.

"I'll be waiting to listen."

Dried tracks of tears were visible on her checks, as Ray visibly steeled herself, then unable to look at her doctor without being in the verge of breaking down again, she sucked in a breath trying to let his calmness seep into her bones. Then straightening her shoulders, she turned her head to look outside the large glass windows, and simply stared. Then she abruptly began.

"Ever since the accident, things are not the same. My family, they were a loving, doting one. My sister lives here, with me. We live in the same flat, and things have always been great. But after the accident, the minute I woke in that hospital room, things took a bad turn, and I have now realized, they are not who they used to be. I know what had happened in the accident, before and after, even though my memories are still a little fractured, but the lies they've been weaving are simply outrageous.

"I have a boyfriend. Shayne. He lives in Iridium. I'll be moving in with him, within a year or so? But from the moment I've woken up, my mother, and even my sister have been trying to make me believe, that my boyfriend died in the accident. The only thing is, how was he in the car? He never was in the car, right? He was in Iridium! But my mother and my sister keep trying to prove to me that he's dead! And what's worse, it's like this disease that's taking hold of their minds. Even Dr. Andrews believes the same, and has since then tried to push me into believing the same. And it didn't stop there! My friend Sara came to visit me here, and then after talking to mom and Scar, she's saying the same things!

"And then yesterday happened. Caleb, a really good friend of mine - actually a friend of both Shayne and me - who's been a friend of Shayne's from their primary school days really, called me up to say he was here, back in Zircon. And so naturally, we met up. Things were fine, until he started talking about how he was missing Shayne so much since his death. About Shayne in heaven and what not. I just lost it. And as if that wasn't enough, he had to craft lies about how I had been there during Shayne's funeral and how I'd met Caleb there, which had apparently happened in Iridium!

"That was just too much for me. How far will my mother and sister go, to make me believe them? They're slowly brainwashing everyone I know, and every moment I spend with them is like living in a coffin, while they slowly kill me inside, hammering nails over the lid. I cannot take it anymore!"

Ray started sobbing again, and tried to stop the excaping sobs wracking up her body by holding herself by wrapping her arms around herself.

"I can't. I just can't. These past months have been like living in hell. Everytime they speak, their voices are like chalk grating on my nerves. My body shrivels up, and I just. Can't. Take it."

Dr. Bush typed something on the laptop in front of him, then adjusted his glasses and looked straight into her eyes.

"Hm. I see. Do you know why they're doing this? Brainwashing people with false theories?"

Ray shook her head slowly.

"No. That's the whole point. I don't know what's going on inside their heads. I sometimes think maybe I ought to have died in that accident. Maybe they don't want me anymore, and they're just doing all this to make me lose my mind. So that I'm gone. I don't know what to think anymore."

Ray slowly stilled, her eyes slowly getting fixed on a random point. Dr. Bush watched her, while she was staring out through his windows again, expressionless. Almost like everything she'd been talking about, she'd forgotten in a blink of an eye. Her eyes looked lost, but then he caught sight of that lone tear trailing down her cheek, as she still remained still, unfazed, unaware of anything around her.

He sighed.

"Ray."

Ray wasn't there anymore. But there was another tear trailing down her cheek in a slow pace, forging a new track over the old dried tear tracks.

Dr. Bush tried again.

"Ray?"

Still nothing.

"Ray? RAY!"

Ray seemed to startle, then she sat up straighter, rubbing her cheeks in an absent-minded way.

"Yes?"

"You want to get out of that... Let's just be frank. You need to get out of that hell-hole. That's what home has become for you, isn't it?"

Ray seemed taken aback, then nodded.

"Yes, doctor."

"Then I have a suggestion."

Ray nodded again, urging him to continue.

"What do you think about volunteering? In some old-age home, or orphanage? How does the idea make you feel, Ray? Does it appeal to you?"

Ray knew Scar loved volunteering. She'd heard her talk about it a lot of times. Now thinking about it, of doing something like that herself, made her feel good.

"I feel good about it. I'd love to, I think, volunteer."

Dr. Bush smiled at her.

"I'll recommend you somewhere. A private one, not only in their kind of organization, but also with how they truly are. Very private. An orphanage that is a home to disabled children. What do you think?"

Ray slowly smiled.

"I love it."

"Think, you'll have a perfect reason to be out of your own home, but meanwhile you'll be helping a good cause. And you'll not feel depressed anymore."

"Depressed?"

"I have a feeling you need pills. But, I believe this will help you more, the hours spent on the lovely kids out there who need your help will occupy your mind so well, you won't even have time to think of anything else. So I don't want to prescribe you anything right now. Maybe next session? Now, do you want that address? Phone number? And a recommendation? What do you think?"

Ray nodded once.

"I think yes. "

~*~

Up above the chapter so high, like a diamond sits Cody Christian - Caleb Sanders - in the... Sky?

What? Why?

Forget my crap.

Real long chapter, eh?

Comment what you think, yeah?

Till next time,

Orlena :)