Something sparks within me, an inherent need that I've never felt before. Even though this is probably the worst thing to do right now, I ignore every instinct screaming at me to stop and sidle up next to Jiho, basking in the warmth that seems to radiate off him. 

It's just so comforting, from the way he shifts his body slightly so that we are closer and how his eyes sweep my face in concern. 

I glance at the top corners of the lift noticing the small red light blinking at the centre of the camera lens. We need to keep our distance friendly, especially since that article was published. 

Management doesn't know it was me in that picture with Jiho and they must never find out. 

"Hey, i've been wanting to talk to you but things have been just so crazy," Jiho mutters looking slightly out of breath. 

I notice the slight sheen of sweat making his forehead glisten. He must have just had dance practice. Under these lights it looks like he is shinning. The urge to push his damp hair back makes my fingers twitch. 

"Me too," I say. 

"I'm so sorry!" We both gush in unison and then pause. My cheeks burn bright red and we start laughing. 

"You have nothing to be sorry about. That was pure carelessness on my part," He justifies. 

"No, it was on both of us," I quickly reiterate but he raises his hands in surrender. 

"I should have known better. Don't worry it won't happen again." 

His words make my heart sink momentarily. What does he mean by that? Does that mean he doesn't want to see me again one on one? I mean that's probably the best thing for both of us but the way it makes my chest squeeze doesn't seem like it is. 

"What were you doing on the fifth floor? Everything, okay?" He leans agains the wall and I find myself doing the same. 

"I met my sister after practice yesterday and didn't inform anyone. The girls panicked and it became a big issue." Jiho's eyes widen so I quickly explain further. "But it's over now. We even have weekday phone privileges." 

I smile proudly and he laughs. "Wow, Jina. Wish you were here during my trainee days." 

Firefly has the weirdest rules when it comes to phones. No phones during the weekdays but they are allowed on weekends. It's been a running rule since the second idol group in our company got caught for scandalous texting. 

As if we couldn't 'scandalously text' on the weekends. 

"Yeah, didn't expect this turn out. Not going to lie it's pretty great." 

The lift doors open at the basement carpark and I didn't even realise we were heading here. 

"Coffee?" Jiho asks me looking hopeful. "We have practice together in an hour so I know you don't have anywhere else to be." His smile turns sheepish and I swear it causes some unusual stomach fluttering effect. 

"How do you know I don't have to be somewhere else right now?" I ask him teasingly. 

He gulps and it is one of the only times the ever so charming Jiho looks nervous. 

He leans against the doors, holding them open for me. "Well I'm hoping you don't." 

I can't help the smile that forms on my face nor the butterflies in my stomach. It's a breezy feeling being here with him. Not like the heaviness currently lingering in my trainee dorm. His company makes me feel so much lighter. 

"I heard coffee helps with the vocal cords," I lie, walking out to join him. 

"Of course. Especially iced coffee," He plays along making me laugh. 

We reach the familiar cafe but I pause when he turns the knob. "Are you sure it's safe today?" 

"Let me check," He says and he walks in first. "Safe." 

He pulls me by the wrist but unlike last time his fingers slowly interlace with mine. It's the first time he's ever held my hand, or anyone else for that matter. Small sparks of excitement erupt across my skin, shooting up my arms, heading straight for my heart. 

It feels like fireworks have just exploded in my chest. 

The best part is that he doesn't let go until we reach our seats. He orders the same coffee as last time and then we huddle into the most secluded corner in the cafe, situated perfectly by the emergency exit with me facing the main door. 

"I love this place," I say. I take a long sip and then twirl my straw in my drink. 

"I used to like this place," Jiho admits and then he leans closer, eyes boring into mine. "But now I love it." 

The way he says those words make me blush profusely. I wave him off, trying to keep control of my rapidly beating heart. "You're such a sweet talker. I bet you say that to all the girls." 

He leans back, his eyes never leaving mine. "I guess you kind of learn how to be a sweet talker in this industry. But right now I'm not speaking into a camera. This is real. That's why I love it so much." 

I swallow even though there is nothing in my throat at the moment. 

"Do you ever feel like sometimes you meet someone and it's just so effortless. It's so easy to share what you usually wouldn't share with anyone and you just want to keep seeing that person all the time," He crosses his arms over his chest looking shy for a moment. "Like you've known them in a past life or something." 

It's crazy because he couldn't have worded that more perfectly. Ever since we met at the night market, all I want to do is spend more time with him. And talking to him isn't just easy, it's exactly like he said. Effortless. 

I nod slowly and relief trickles into his features. 

"Do you feel the same way? I'm not crazy and imagining things, right?" He leans forward and he looks so nervous it makes me laugh. 

"Yes, I do." I cup my hands around my drink, letting the chill distract me from the heartthrob currently staring at me. 

Jiho sighs and slumps back in his seat. "Thank God, if this was one sided it would be so sad and pathetic." 

The words one sided make me think of Hyeon and the way he looked at Dalia's picture longingly but I quickly brush the thought aside. 

"Can I be honest?" I ask tentatively. 

"Always," Jiho says, pulling his seat closer. 

"I thought you wouldn't want to see me again. After.." I pause unsure how to word it. "After the article came out. Did you get into a lot of trouble?" 

Jiho's shoulders tense when I say this but then he quickly gathers himself. "Not really. They bought the story about the cousin thing. I guess we'll just have to be more careful and now that you have your phone, it will be easier." 

"So you still want to meet?" My fingers tighten around my cup. A small part of me wants him to say no, save us both from the potential trouble but the major part of me can't stomach the thought of not meeting with him like this. 

It's like I've boarded a train and it's on autopilot. The wheels won't stop rolling even though there is the threat of crashing. 

When I say this Jiho's face scrunches up in hurt, his eyes shooting to his lap and I realise it must sound like I don't want to see him. 

"I mean I would love to but if you're not comfortable, I would be fine with--." He trails off.

His expression is pure devastation, it's so utterly endearing that I can't help myself. I place my hands around his tense bunched up fists.

"I would love to as well. But I don't want to get us into trouble." I say. 

At hearing this Jiho straightens up and smiles at me excitedly. "Don't worry we'll be careful and we won't do anything incriminating. I obviously want so much more, but having your company is all I need really. Let's just take it as it comes. You have your debut to look forward to. Just think of me as some rock you can lean on from time to time." 

His fingers interlace with mine again but then we release each other when I look over at the door in paranoia. 

"That sounds good." I reply, feeling extremely appreciative. "I can be your rock too. A behind the scenes kind of rock." 

"Ohh, you mean like a mistress?" Jiho's eyebrows raise and I hit him on the arm playfully. "But seriously it's really more common than you think. I wouldn't be surprised if your teammates have boyfriends themselves. Literally half the idols I know are in secret relationships. People know, it's just that no one can prove it." 

"How can you tell?" This topic has definitely peaked my interest. My mind immediately flits to thoughts of Dalia and Loona. 

Jiho puts a hand up and folds a finger with each point he makes. "It's always the matching accessories or clothes. Then there's the sneaky looks during award shows. Different flights to the same destinations. Oh and easiest of all, they somehow always hint at it in variety shows." 

"I thought these theories were mostly fanmade?" 

"Most of the time they're accurate. These people have no inhibition backstage. That's the only place with no camera's and prying eyes. I've seen some of these couples myself."

My eyes widen in curiosity. "Even groups as big as TBT and Sweet Poison?"

Jiho scoffs breezily. "Of course. But I haven't seen them in particular. Generally, the more famous the idol the more careful they have to be but no idol remains single though out their career, trust me. Heartbreak always makes for the best song writing." 

I bite my lip, deep in thought. Should I ask him about Dalia? Or Loona? But he said he hasn't seen anything.

"How's it going at the dorms? The girls still giving you trouble?" Jiho asks, changing the topic. 

I run a hand through my hair in exasperation. "You have no idea." 

I then go into detail about what happened yesterday and how everyones been alienating me because of it.

Jiho smiles knowingly. "Ahh, reminds me of the bad old days." 

"It happened to you too?" I frown. Recapping last night has brought up the frustration I've been feeling since Binna said good bye this morning. 

"Trust me it's nothing personal. Yes, maybe they are a little jealous that you have been in the news etc. This process of debut is at the end of the day a competition and now you girls are nearing the finish line. Everyone's stress levels always increase at this time." 

I hate to agree with him because they are being so unfair but he does have a point. 

"I guess you're right. But sometimes I just feel so alone. I used to have Binna, but now she's joined the dark side." 

He chuckles at my words and brushes a finger against my palm. Somehow it feels more intimate than holding hands. The anger I feel slowly dissipates with every stroke of his finger. 

"You have me. Always remember that. And don't worry, they'll come around. This is all stress induced. Everyone is dealing with their own demons. You can't run away from them. So you have to find a way to manage them and it always helps to try understanding their situation." 

I contemplate on Jiho's words the entire day. I really hope he's right because no one speaks to me during practice and Binna leaves much earlier because there's a move I need to go though with Mr. Lee. 

I don't expect much when I reach home. Certainly not nine girls sitting around in a semi circle with a bowl of patbingsu in the centre. 

"Jina," JinJin pushes the bowl towards me when I walk inside. "We're sorry for overreacting last night and for giving you a hard time so far." 

The girls all nod, even Binna who is sitting next to Rachel but she quickly looks away when I catch her eye. 

I look at them sceptically but then I remember Jiho's words and decide that a truce would be the best thing for us right now. 

"I'm sorry too. It was really reckless of me." I sit down cross legged and take a spoon of the blueberry flavoured shaved ice, hoping it hasn't been drugged. 

Once I do this the tension in the room diffuses and the girls take turns to huddle closer and share the dessert. 

It's funny how we can be fighting one day and then laughing over a meal the next. We talk about vocal coaches, executives and the dress rehearsals coming up until it's almost 11pm. 

The girls get ready for bed and Binna still hasn't come into the room. Feeling restless I decide to do some research so I turn on the computer and look for dating clues like Jiho described. 

I send the same instructions to Hyeon. After about an hour plus, my search on Dalia comes to a dead end. But then my phone pings and I unlock the screen to see a file sent from Hyeon. 

I click on it and multiple pictures flood my screen. They are all of Loona and Jungseok the rapper. The same bracelets, same holiday destinations, same bags and sneakers. Even the variety show hints that were trending on twitter years ago.

If Jiho's theory is right, which I am hoping that it is then these two were definitely having an affair. And Loona won't even see me coming next weekend.