Soulmates were something that belonged in fairytales. I first learned of them in the stories my mother would read to me growing up and it always started with the damsel in distress, unable to provide or support herself, waiting for someone to save her. The prince would then come to her rescue, saving her from peril and allowing them to live happily ever after.

I used to love those stories. I thought the most romantic thing in life was being saved by your real-life prince and getting to live your happy ending. This is why I used valued our Pairing System so much, it's why most people do. It made our dreams of true love a reality.

My image of love changed the moment my father died. He was my mother's prince, and she was his damsel in distress. I grew up watching them love each other so completely that they shared every piece of themselves with each other. When my father died, so did part of my mom. He supported her, he held her together. She was nothing without her prince.

There was nothing romantic in placing pieces of yourself in other people to protect which is exactly what my mother did, and it broke her. My parents' love, which I once idolized, was exactly what destroyed her once he was gone.

I saw how people treated her differently. She tried to hide it from me, tried to shield my innocent eyes from the looks we'd get out in public, or how my teachers would speak to me at school. She should have been embarrassed to be a widow. She should have been embarrassed to reject her partner, even though she didn't reject him. He died.

For such a perfect system, it felt very flawed. Your pairing results were your identity. It was what made our society work. To lose part of yourself was pitiful, even if the reason is that your partner died, and to me, that made no sense at all.

That's why I dreaded today. Pairing day. In a few hours, I would discover my job, my stratum, and who I would spend the rest of my life with. The person that could break me if I let them.

I stood outside, a few feet away from our house while I waited for my mother to join me. People were already making their way to the Paring Ceremony. The majority of people would be watching, but I could tell who would be paired today by how they dressed.

I looked down at my own outfit. It was an old dress my mom never wore, but it was the only white thing we had. White was innocent. White was pure. It symbolized my gateway to adulthood. My last chance to be a child.

My eyes followed the white picket fence that lined the identical houses of our neighbourhood. You couldn't look anywhere without seeing a tall green tree or colourful flower garden. Nature was everywhere here, we Minors made sure of that.

To other Stratums our neighbourhood was very mundane, but in my eyes it was beautiful. The Minor quarters were smaller than the other Stratums' and the houses were built tightly together, though to me that's what made it a community. That was something the higher Stratums would never have.

I could hear the front door shut behind me and soon my mother found her way to my side. She linked her arm with mine, almost as if to make sure I wouldn't run away and began to guide us to the road that led us to Centre Square.

"How do you feel?" She asked as she rubbed my arm in comfort.

"A little sick," I admitted with my eyes fixed on the path ahead of us. "I don't want to do this."

She frowned at me, stressing the wrinkles near her eyes. "Today is a happy day, Isla." The disappointment in her voice was clear. "You'll find your person today. Don't you worry."

I wasn't worried though, I wanted to tell her. I just didn't want this.

Even after his death, my mother was more than confident in the Pairing System. She wanted me to find a love like her and my father, but I knew it would destroy her to hear me say I didn't want that. I saw no logic in a world that stripped me of my autonomy and freedom of choice, all in the name of love and order. I especially had no desire to commit myself to someone I didn't know.

"Love is a serious mental disease," I muttered to myself, quoting Plato.

"And the madness of love is the greatest of heaven's blessings." She retorted. "Love is mad, it can consume the mind so much it acts as a disease, yes. But its strength is what makes it so precious." She laughed at me. "Dear child, don't try to school me on the dialogue I taught you."

I rolled my eyes at her. It was true that it was my mother who introduced me to the different Socratic dialogues growing up, but I'd interpret philosophy however I pleased.

"Big day today, ladies." A lady walking a few feet away smiled at us. I recognized her face, realizing she lived around the block from us.

"Jenn!" My mom greeted her. I met the eyes of the girl walking beside her and I immediately remembered her from my classes. Her name was Hannah. I exchanged a small smile with her.

"Are you excited?" Hannah's mother asked me.

My mom squeezed my shoulder, urging me to fake a smile.

"I am," I answered simply, allowing a small smile to reach my lips.

"Good luck out there," my mom added, "we'll be watching!"

Hannah and her family wished us luck before greeting a couple on the other side of the road. I stared ahead at Centre Square which had just come into view.

People filled the large space and the sound of laughing and conversation echoed through the streets. I had to admit, it was a wonderful thing to see all three Stratums coming together to support the pairing of the graduating cohort, from one neighbour to another.

We reached the crowd and my mother gave me a gentle push, ushering me to find the rest of my peers. The reality began to settle that this would be the last time I saw her before I became an adult. I gave her hand one last squeeze before facing the crowd.

I passed by one woman who I could only assume was a reporter as she spoke loudly into a microphone. They would likely be streaming the Pairing Ceremony for people to watch at home.

"-some even speculate that the royal family will be here today." She said and gestured to the large crowd. "Maybe we'll get to see King Chalamet."

Many eyes scanned the large crowd as they searched for the King. I held back a laugh knowing he wouldn't be here, the royal family never was. Instead, the Chalamets were likely at home in their big fancy palace watching the ceremony on TV just like everyone else.

In a world where the Pairing System was mandatory, I always found it quite hypocritical that the royal family never used it. They weren't allowed. Instead, they saved their unions for political affairs. For this reason alone they had no reason to be physically present at the pairing ceremony.

As I pushed my way through the many people, I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked back. My eyes widened in surprise as I was met with Stella smiling at me.

I stared at my friend for a moment as I tried to process her presence. "You came?" I asked incredulously.

She shrugged and tried to fight her sheepish grin. "It's your pairing day. Of course I came."

I pulled her into a hug and held her tight. I wasn't sure if Stella would come to watch today. Similarly to me, my friend rejected the Pairing System and desired a life of freedom, although her feelings were much stronger than mine. She insisted that I run away and maintained that my compliance with the system was an act of betrayal.

I contemplated running away, trust me, but that idea was ridiculous. What good would that do me? To live alone with no family or support. Was that the life she wanted for me? For herself? There was no point in fighting a system that would win. There was no empowerment in that. Regardless of our dispute, I was happy to see her here.

"No matter what happens, I'll be here for you." She assured me. "Whether your pairing is a good one or not."

"Thank you for being here," I told her, and I meant it. This day was scary enough as it was. Discovering the entirety of my future was a lot to process, but allowing the entire Kingdom to watch at the same time felt slightly violating. If there was one person I wanted here, it was her.

Stella was just a year younger than me. I knew if she was in my place she would have most definitely run away by now, but wasn't a life I wanted for her. A future of isolation and exile. I hoped that by next year she will have changed her mind. You can still disagree with a system and still comply with it. To reject the Pairing System would require privilege and wealth I didn't have.

There were some things Stella could never understand coming from a Dominant family. She never had to work or search for her opportunities, everything had always been handed to her on a silver platter. Despite this, I validated her feelings. The system was wrong and we both knew this, she just had different ideas on how to fight it.

"I'll look for you when I'm up there," I told her and pulled her into another hug, this one lasting longer than the first. "You don't know how happy I am that you're here. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

I squeezed her tight and pulled away, happy to see her smile. "I'll leave if you don't stop being so cheesy." She told me. "Now go do your thing."

The two of us parted ways and I hurried to the center of the square, not wanting to miss the beginning of the ceremony. I quickly found the rest of my year and took my place alongside them. The square was raised on a slight platform, creating a stage for community gatherings such as these. I looked between my classmates, the people I grew up with. Some of them looked nervous, others excited. I fell into the former category.

I almost wanted to laugh at the sight of our blindingly white outfits. Really, who decided on the dress code? I suppose even in our clothing choices we had limits. It was fitting, though, considering today was the day we lost all freedom to choose.

My peers didn't see it that way. They were obsessed, waiting for the moment they'd meet their forever partner. There was something so inexplicably fulfilling about finding the person perfect for you. I couldn't blame them for that, it was easy to fall in love with the idea of love.

I imagined what it would be like to be paired with the person who was meant to compliment your personality with theirs. The Pairing Committee never called them soulmates, but that's what they were, right? The perfect pairing. The perfect person for you.

Soon I wouldn't have to imagine anymore though. I sucked in a breath, watching one of the members from the Pairing Committee step forward into the square, waiting for silence.

The crowd went quiet. His eyes scanned our cohort and I squirmed under his gaze. I wondered what he was thinking?

He would begin by pairing us with our occupations and Stratum. Once the speaker had gone through all of the graduates, we would go again but this time pairing people to their partners.

For a moment he was as quiet as the audience. I watched his shoulders shift as he inhaled before speaking.

"Catherine Heroux. Interior Design. Minor."

And so it began.

***

hey all! welcome to my new story :)

i probably wont upload frequently until my other story 'back to you' is completed. i'll still post chapters but it won't be my main focus until then.

in the mean time let me know what you guys think! do you like the premise of this story? the world i've created? as always, happy reading lovelies!

with love,

via <3