Chapter 30

"Happy 5th Birthday, Limer!" sabay-sabay bati ng mga inimbita namin para sa kaarawan ng anak ko.

When Limer blew the candles on his cake. Hindi rin naman mapigilan ni Limer ang kasiyahang nararamdaman niya. All the guests were celebrating his birthday. We invited some of his classmates at school and some of his cousins and friends. I did my best to pull this birthday celebration as I told him I would give him the best one yet.

"What did you wish, baby?" I asked my son.

"Hm. . ." Napaisip din naman ito. "It's a secret!"

Everyone laughed when he answered it. Hindi naman namin pinilit na alamin kung ano 'yon. Whatever it was, I hope it would come true in any other way. The only thing I wanted for him was to make all his dreams come true. Masaya na ako na makita siyang masaya at nag-eenjoy sa selebrasyon ng birthday niya ngayong araw.

We prepared a lot of things today. Karamihan ng mga inimbita namin ay mga bata kaya halos ng mga pagkain at palaro ay mga pambata lamang. One of things I've requested was a face paint where all the kids would have a chance to pick whoever cartoons they liked. Si Limer naman ay pinili na ipinta si Spider Man sa mukha niya. When I told him about this face paint activity on his birthday, siya na mismo ang nangunan na mapintahan ang mukha.

Some kids chose a lot of cartoons, Barbie, SpongeBob, Garfield, Shrek, and many more. 

It was the activity that I thought shouldn't be missed on his birthday. If Synestine was here, I knew she would love to do this with all the kids on his son's birthday. I saw a butterfly earlier, I knew she wouldn't want to miss Limer's special day. She has always been with us.

Habang kumakain ang mga bata ay nilapitan ko naman ang mga guardian nila. They were happy and excited. Ang iba raw nilang anak ay gusto na ring magkaroon ng face paint sa mga birthday nila. Ibinigay ko rin naman ang contact number ng painter na siyang nakilala namin noon ni Synestine. Siya rin ang nag-paint ng wedding namin. When I reached out to her, she didn't hesitate to do it.

She knew what happened to our family. Gusto pa sana niyang gawin for free ang services niya, pero tumanggi pa rin ako na gawing free iyon. Some of her artworks were now being sold to some countries in Europe and in the state. Her rate services were costly, but she told me na kaibigan rate na lang daw ang ibibigay niya sa akin and that was totally fine for me.

Synestine's parents also came for their grandson's birthday. Hiyang-hiya ako sa kanila. Natatakot ako sa kanila kaya halos ilang taon din akong hindi nagpapakita sa kanila. Bumuhos lamang ang emosyon ko kanina nang dumating silang umaga.

Sa higpit ng mga yakap nila sa akin ay wala akong naramdamang galit o paninisi sa pagkawala ng anak nila. I kept apologizing to them. Hindi nila inalis ang pagkakayakap sa akin hangga't sa ipinaintindi nila sa akin na hindi ko dapat sisihin ang sarili ko. Masakit man para sa kanila ang nangyari. Limang taon na rin ang lumipas at ang gusto na lamang nilang mangyari ay maalagaan at mapalaki ko nang maayos ang anak namin.

Synestine's father also joked that if I were to get married once again, they have to know her, too. Napangiwi at kamot na lamang ako sa ulo dahil sa tingin ko ay medyo malayong mangyari 'yon.

Hindi ko nakikita ang sarili ko na ikakasal muli. I couldn't even get myself fall in love with anyone else. May iba pang babae na sila mismo ang lalapit, pero ako na mismo ang lumalayo. I felt like if they got closer to me, it's either their life would be good or end up on a bad situation. I just don't want to put myself out there when my heart isn't even ready yet.

But my heart was so full today.

I couldn't be happier. This was what my wife wanted for us to have.

Nang matapos ang birthday celebration ni Limer at isa-isang nag-alisan ang mga bisita ay natagpuan na lang din namin ito na natutulog sa sofa. Synestine's parents didn't want to bother waking him up so they only kissed him on his forehead before leaving our house. Napag-usapan din namin na bibista kami at some point sa bahay nila. Limer's going to school on weekdays and I've got work, too, so we have to set a schedule for it.

When I was about to pick Limer up from sleeping, he was about to wake up, but I had to be so gentle so it wouldn't bother him. Nang makarga ko naman ito ay dali-dali ko rin namang siyang idinala sa kwarto namin. I slowly put him down and tucked the blanket on him. I was about to leave the room so I could take a shower when he called my name.

"Daddy. . ." he called. 

Nilingon ko naman ito at tinabihan ko sa pagkakahiga. "How's my baby? Did you enjoy your party?"

He nodded tiringly. "Yes, I enjoyed it a lot. . . But I think I saw mommy. . ."

Napaangat ang kilay ko sa sinabi niya. "Huh? Where did you see mommy?"

"In my dreams," he answered. "She was doing the paint on my face. She kissed me and sang happy birthday for me. . ."

I smiled. "I bet she did all those things for you. . . I wish I could see your mom, too."

"Just close your eyes, Dad," he suggested. "I always see mom when I sleep. . ."

"That's good, baby. I know your mom's always with you. . ."

"Do you want to know what's my wish earlier?" he queried.

"Hm? Do you want to tell it to me?" Tumango naman siya sa akin. "Okay, sure. . . What did you wish?"

"There were two wishes. One is to meet Spider-Man in real life. . ."

I chuckled. "I'm sure you will meet him soon, son. What is the second though?"

He looked up and met my eyes. "I wish you to have a girlfriend. Mom told me in my dreams you should find someone for you even if it's not mommy. . ."

"Oh, I see. . ." I tried to break it off with a laugh. "I'm not sure about that, buddy. You should go back to sleep now. You need that good rest and you can open all your gifts tomorrow morning so you better sleep now or they'll be gone."

"I will sleep now," he said, obeying my order.

I left him alone in our room and as I closed the door, I let out a deep breath. I was surprised by what Limer said. I was expecting him to say anything, but not something about me having a new girlfriend. It's been five years since Synestine's death, I knew I should move on and start a new life. One of the things I kept remembering in my mind, was those last words she said that I shall find someone who I can be with forever. 

It may seem hard to believe I'll find someone again, but we'll never know. I'm just twenty-seven years old, a lot of things could still surprise me along the way and I'm ready for it.