The classes drag on until it's finally time for break. Lunch. Apparently, in this school, lunch is eaten on the lawn. There are benches and tables but I see that majority of the students prefer sitting on the grass. Students are all spread out and separated into their own cliques. I survey everything. I notice the boy next door, Andrew, sitting with his girlfriend, arm over her shoulder.

I struggle not to roll my eyes. Not like it's my business anyway.

Kyle sits delicately on the grass, book in hand. She adjusts her glasses and pushes her bangs out of her face. Her eyes light up when she sees me standing at the exit of the school. I wave and start making my way over. Grass crunches under my shoes as I walk across the lawn.

Suddenly, a girl I don't know stands in my way before I can take another step towards Kyle. She's one of the prettiest people I've ever seen with long vivid green hair, long-lashed green eyes, and a great body. She wore a tight grey t-shirt and blue jeans that hugged her curves.  "Hi there," she greeted me, with a sweet looking smile. "My friends and I noticed you were the new girl, and we were wondering if you'd like to sit with us." My eyes follow the direction she was pointing in, and I see a group of about 3 or 4 people. They all look popular and seem like a hard to get into group.

I can't help but glance at Kyle sitting and waiting for me. I'm sure she'll be alright, I assure myself silently. I know I don't really care about her feelings or anything, but despite that, I still feel the slightest tug of guilt.

The pretty girl holds out her hand. I might've looked a little rude, staring at her hand. It's just unusual to see someone offering their hand out to me, especially considering the fact that they know my reputation. "I'm January, by the way," she tells me, hitting me with her dazzling smile again. I finally take her hand and shake it. "Name's Jax," I respond.

"So, you think you'll come hang out?"

"Sure, I'll come," I reply and follow her as she leads me over to the group. She waves at everybody. "She's here!" Then she turns to look at me. "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

I feel extremely awkward and I think about how the incredible urge to throw myself off a cliff would be better than standing in front of people and introducing myself again, but I decide that it's something I should probably keep to myself. I tell them my name, they all say hi, and January invites me to sit down.

She gestures to everyone, in turn, introducing them to me. Anya,  Eden, and James are all seniors and Ellie's a sophomore. January and I are the only juniors. Both Anya and Ellie have blonde hair and blue eyes, though Ellie's hair has more of a silvery tinge to it. Eden has short brown hair and what looks like hazel eyes, but I wasn't close enough to tell. He later told me that he was half Chinese. James, I noticed had his arm around Anya the entire time so I assumed they were dating. He had skin the color of chocolate and almond-brown eyes.

They all seemed to know everything about everything at this school. They were all popular, yet likable, which was an unlikely combination in my book. It was when January started talking about her parents being out of town this weekend when she did something that took me completely off guard. "Oh, Jax!" she exclaimed suddenly. "While my parents are gone, I'm having a New Year's Eve party. You wanna come?"

Damn, I'm already getting into parties on the first day here.

After I don't respond for a second she says, "All of us will be there, plus it's the biggest party of the year. I don't invite nobodies. I can get as much to drink as you want from my parents' liquor cabinet ." She breaks off to wink at me.

Why not? I think to myself. I don't have anything better to do anyway.

"Yeah, sure," I reply. "I'll be there."

"Great!" January says happily. "If you give me your number I can totally text you all the details later."

As we're exchanging numbers, Anya laughs. "I just realized we're going to a New Year's Eve party at January's house."

Ellie rolls her eyes, but she still smiles affectionately. "Hillarious, Anya."

The bell cuts us off, we all say goodbye, then head to our classes.

As I start walking through the halls, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Kyle standing in front of me. She looks a bit sad, which brings the guilt in my chest back, but I push it away.

"Hey, Kyle--"

"You know how you asked about Andrew?" Oh. I nod, though I'm not sure why she brought it up. "Well he and January, the girl you were hanging out with, used to be a huge thing last year. They were the power couple of the school. I'm not sure if they ever really had feelings for each other or whatever, but whenever January dates somebody she lays a permanent claim on them. She may not care as much for other people, but almost everytime Andrew's dated someone else, something bad has happened to them."

Now that she mentions it, I do remember January throwing looks over to someone. It must've been the slutty chick Andrew's currently "dating". January seemed nice and genuine enough, but still, it's dangerous to get my hopes up and start trusting anyone. Especially after knowing them for less than an hour.

"Why're you telling me this?" I ask Kyle.

"Just protecting you, ya know... in case--"

I snort loudly. "You think I'm going to fall for him or something? I wouldn't fall in love with him if he were the last person on earth." Kyle looks slightly relieved, although we had a very similar conversation a few classes before. "I'm just saying, be careful around January. She's a little dangerous," she urges me. I put my hands on her shoulders. "Trust me, I can handle her. I've hung out with my fair share of dangerous and manipulative people. I'll be fine, don't worry about me."

She nods. "I guess you're right." And we walk to our next class.

✩ ✩ ✩

Eventually, the first day at my new school is over. I received lots of rude comments, pointing, and catcalls throughout the whole day, but I'm basically immune to it now after 6 years of taunting. Two different guys tried flirting with me, which was thoroughly annoying. Someone even had the nerve to ask me if I was "as much of a freak in bed as I was in person". Disgusting.

I had some of the group I hung out with at lunch in a few more classes. They might've been in a couple before I met them too, but I hadn't noticed. I knew I wasn't getting attached or anything, but Eden was probably my favorite. I liked January too, but I'm not trusting her yet. Especially after what Kyle informed me about her.

Eden is actually in majority of my classes, which is nice, I guess. He's really sweet, and cool and funny from what I can tell so far.

Everyone in January's group gave me their phone numbers and social media so I can keep in touch with them if I ever need to.

On the bus ride home, I plug in my earbuds and slowly fall into my thoughts about everyone I met.

Kyle is definitely somebody I should keep by my side. A, because she's lonely and will trust me. B, she knows so much about everyone there. James and Ellie seem a bit closed off. Anya's kinda funny and friendly I suppose, but it's always been a little hard to put up with such happy, bubbly people. Eden's still my favorite. Maybe I'll get to know January a bit better, especially when I go to her New Year's Eve party on Saturday night.

There was the weird girl who wrote on my arm with a permanent marker and gave me directions to my locker. What was her name again? I remember she had nice freckles. Oh, Fallon. That's it, I realize.

Then I think of the boy next door. Andrew. It was undeniable, he was pretty cute and he had some sort of natural pull to him. Like a magnet. But I obviously wasn't going to let my heart get dragged by some stupid, player, rocker wannabe. It's not like I have a crush on him or anything. He's just... interesting. I can't help but recall making eye contact in the dark when I was all the way up in my bedroom and he was smoking a cigarette on the ground and breathing into the night air, stars shining down on him. I recall all the bruises and lashes on his pale back when he was getting dressed.

Falling back into reality, I shake my head. This was my stop anyway. I rush off the bus as quickly as I can.

It still makes me kind of happy to be back at the small, pretty cottage with the beautiful garden I get to tend to and take care of all by myself. There are rare times when it makes me especially happy to have responsibilities.

I reach over my shoulder, grab my bag, and fumble for my house key. Once I'm inside, I hear Aunt Christine calling for me upstairs. "Jax, is that you, baby?"

"Yeah," I yell back to her while I'm searching for something to eat. The sound of her footsteps echoes through the house as she runs down the stairs. "What's--?" I start to ask but break off as I notice she's halfway done with doing her makeup. I give her a sly, knowing smile. She hardly ever wears makeup, except when she wants to impress someone. "Christine... what's going on?"

"Hmm?" She's pretending like she doesn't know what I mean.

"You're going out on a date aren't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. How was your first day at school sweetie?"

"I'll talk about it once you tell me who he is."

"Fine," she submits, although she still rolls her eyes. "I met him on an online dating website. His name's Sam Rogers and he works at the bank a couple miles from here."

"If you ask me, he sounds a bit boring," I respond, taking a bite out of the apple I grabbed from the fridge. "What about Mr. Branshaw? He helped us move her and freaking made us breakfast too. Are you completely blind or you can you finally see he's in love with you?

Christine chooses to ignore me. "Your turn," she says, raising her dark eyebrows. I sigh dramatically. "Whatever, it was fine. I met a lot of new people."

"Any boys?"

"What? No, I mean... yeah, I guess. Is there anything wrong with having guy friends?" I said that a bit too defensively, I realize. "Nope," she says, taking a sip from her mug and walking back upstairs. "Nothing wrong with it at all."

A/N thank you sm for reading!! give it a vote and comment while you're at it ♡ the picture i added is of how i picture january. the actual person is a youtuber and singer named myah alanna you should totally check her out :))

edit: i wrote this quite awhile ago i just figured i should publish it now