Leonardo

Children were fascinated by everything. Or at least that is what I heard.

As a child, Antonio was fascinated with colors. He had a coloring book worth his weight on which he ran wild with his imagination. When pages and canvasses ran short, he moved onto the walls.

I, on the other hand, was creatively dud. My fascination was limited to one weird little black slab that remained stuck on the fridge. 

I had spent uncountable days, experimenting on newer places where the slab could stick - glass, wood, spoon, Anto's head. It took me a few more years and a science class to learn the concept of magnetism, of the attraction that magnets had towards opposite poles or objects laden with iron.

It was also then that I had my first crush and thought of it to be love. I considered the connection that Jessica and I had to be strong like the black slab on my fridge. Little did I know, she was magnetized to the soccer vice-captain. 

Still, it rendered a useful insight - magnetism, attraction and everything in between was only momentary. Things would fade, eventually.

Every second I spent away from Zemira was proving that theory wrong. I morphed into that black slab and she became the door of the fridge. Whenever situations pulled me away, I waddled hard, trying everything in my power to reach back. To re-attach.

My mind was consumed with the thoughts of racing home as soon as I was done with the meeting. It even planned shortcuts that would make me reach faster.

Every minute away from her felt like a century, dragged out in the course of another one. I was well aware of acting like a teenager but even teenage Leo never had this issue. He was a dick who used girls like they were tissues. 

It was the adult me - struck with conscience, who knew what feelings meant and what craving for someone felt like.

When Antonio shook hands with our client, I shut my laptop flap, rushing out of the meeting room.

"Leo," he called out but by then I was already in my office, packing.

"Leo, is everything alright?" Antonio walked in and stared as I tossed the last of my belongings into my bag.

"Yes. Everything's fine, why won't it be?"

"Because you didn't say a word at the meeting. And now you are leaving like you'd miss your flight." Anto eyed me with suspicion. His stare burned the question - What's going on?

If only my sweet, innocent brother understood what I suffered was nothing compared to the pang of missing a transport. What I felt aligned more like losing the vital life-giving shade. My need to reach home had never been this urgent.

After a very long time, I was imbibed with a sense of home. Home, not the four walls and a roof but a person.

"I've to get back. Zem is waiting-"

"Since when has Zem Zem become Zem?" Another intonated set of words and piercing stares questioned me.

Since our time at the hotel, I wanted to revert. Since then, and every day after, Zemira Ford was kept at bay with minimal interactions. Yet, she managed to hold the reins of my life carriage, steering it the way she wanted.

"Since she started staying with me," I said, trotting towards the door.

Antonio blocked my path. "Are you sleeping with her?"

My peaceful thoughts melted, rebound with a sense of possessiveness. He was talking about my fiancée. My Zemira.

"I'd appreciate it if you'd respect our boundaries and not talk stuff like this anymore."

"Why? What's the problem?" He grated, clutching my elbow to turn me on my heels. "It's not like you've married her?"

My teeth gritted, souring the tip of my teeth. Antonio resorted to the third-degree questioning technique like Dad. I peeled off his hold, pulling him closer with my hand coiled around the back of his neck.

"That's the problem. You think you only need to respect a lady if she's married to you," I said, feeling his heated and huffed breaths mingling with my calm and cool exhale. "Unlike you, I don't crass talk about girls. And that, Antonio, you'd have learnt if you'd spent a little more time with Mom."

I wasn't in the mood to lecture anymore. After all, Antonio wasn't a kid. He should've known better than try being the next Dave Brenton, trading his soul for higher shares and equities. Against all his external inhibitions, Anto was ready to play Dad's henchman.

Even God would have a tough time, saving my brother.

~

When I walked into an empty apartment. Muffled giggles streamed from the roof. I scurried up, tossing my things aside. Never been the one to throw things around, I seemed to have become an embodiment of someone who didn't care about belongings or how they were kept. All I cared about was seeing her; the cold compress to my sore body and soul.

I walked into the roof; Zemira turned around from her seat.

"Look who's here?" She quipped. Mom waved at me, winking.

"I was in the neighbourhood and thought of meeting Zemira." Like all concerned mothers, my mom's expressions faltered. "But how come you're here?"

She leaned closer to Zemira as if about to tell a secret. "Once Leo's in office, he never leaves till the last of the employees' exit. I don't know why he's here now?"

She eyed me again and rose from the couch. As if her vision could do a full-body scan, Mom peered at me, touching the side of my cheek, my forehead.

"You seem well," she said, looking confused.

"Wasn't I supposed to? You must be the first mother on this planet, hoping for her kid to fall sick." 

On cue, my mother smacked my chest with the back of her hand before settling back into her former position.

"Lemme get you something, to eat" Zemira said, running her hand over her dress and walking out. 

I too dropped a random excuse to trail behind her.

In the kitchen, she remained silent, fetching something from the fridge and cabinet. I sat on the kitchen counter, binging on the snacks she plated.

"Is everything alright, Zem?"

She didn't look at me but her faded 'hmm' indicated something was wrong. 

I pulled her closer but she stood cemented, struggling a little when a tried again. Her behavior was a blow of painful disappointment. 

When she calmed herself, I tipped her chin up. She closed her eyes and looked away. Somehow, I knew she was hiding something so big that looking at me invoked more pain.

"Please, tell me what happened?" I asked, hoping for an answer which I knew wouldn't come.

"Nothing." Her monosyllabic reply pierced into my chest as she unwrapped my caged hold and moved out, carrying goodies for my mother.

Upstairs, I sat adjacent to Zemira as she decided it was better to sit with my mother than me. Although occasionally her gaze would travel towards me, she would forcefully peel it away upon witnessing me admiring her.

"So how are things with you two?" Mom asked, tilting her head towards both of us.

"Great." We spoke in unison.

I sat up, determined to understand the reason for Zemira's shift in behavior. Coiling my hand over her exposed knee, I was hit with another realization. She was in her attire. Not mine. 

Pushing off those doubtful thoughts and qualms that swam up my throat, I convinced myself that her reservations were to protect herself.

"We have a few more parties to make an appearance," I said, looking over at Zemira's half-smiling face. "And a few interviews where Zemira would work her charm and I'd just stand like her bodyguard. Then we're good to go."

Zem's head turned subtly, her focus shifted from gazing at my mother to me. The heatwave of her agitation and her struggle to avoid looking at me burnt me. 

Why was she suddenly being distant?

"I say this with love but have you kids thought about your arrangement in a more serious way?" Mom said, dropping off hints like a thief who wanted to get caught.

Way to go, Mom.

"I think it's a discussion for another time, Mother," I said, leaning towards the matchmaker in front of me.

"Yes." Zem chimed in. "We shouldn't force people together who were meant to stay apart."

My hand slid off her soft skin as I watched her with part disappointment and part pain radiating from my gut. Agreed, we never talked about the future but it was always implied. We didn't have much time but shutting the doors on us now was a low blow.

Every time I assumed I had unwrapped the mystery surrounding Zemira, she would don a newer layer for me to peel.

After some more futile chats which were nothing but Zemira's hopeless attempt at getting her guest to stay, mom surrendered her hands up after patting her stomach. "You kids have fed me and talked to me like nobody had in a million years."

"What about your parties, Mom? Nobody talks to you there?" I asked. 

Another attempt to diffuse the situation that crept between me and Zemira went in vain.

Mom rolled her eyes rather than taking the bait. She walked back inside the elevator after holding her new favorite chat buddy in her embrace for so long, I could've taken a short nap.

Reluctantly, Zemira stood still, watching the steel doors close. When I turned her to look at me, she continued drilling holes in the floor with her unwavering stare.

"Whatever it is, you gotta tell me, Zem. Did I do something wrong?"

She remained silent but her tear-filled eyes narrated the truth. I wanted to hold her and diffuse her tears with my worst attempts at jokes but she slid my hands off her trembling body and walked into my room.

I followed behind, my mind swirling with gnashing thoughts, sawing through my bones. All were laid to rest as I entered the room. My sight fell on my uniform box. It peeled open the scabs of an old wound.

"Why is it there, Zemira?" 

"You tell me, Leo." She moved a step closer, with an ache that danced over her kind, blue eyes. Today they held a different color. Pale. Dead. "Or should I say, Sargent L. Brenton?"

My full name was a constant reminder of times when I was dubbed in the media for all the wrong reasons. 

Drugs and women were my life, partying and spending money recklessly made me famous. All that before I met Sofia. Before she navigated me from the dreadful path leading to overdosing and put me on a road to an honest living. I enlisted because of her; my guiding light.

"Tell me, Leonardo," Zemira's hoarse voice called me out, tossing me back to reality. "You knew who I was all along. You knew about Tag Novak and never thought of telling me."

Hurt people would do anything to hurt somebody else. It was a strange way of seeking solace. Zemira did the same. Her words crashed over my chest with every one of them piercing the sad reality into my skin.

"I came to know about you and Tag only when Kiera-"

"You knew..." She pushed me hard, backing me against the wall. Her eyes stormed up with unanswered questions, ready to spill all of her sadness out into the world. "Was it you, who gave the marching orders?"

She dragged me down memory lane to the day when my whole squad came under heavy firing because I couldn't take charge.

"Tell me, was it you who killed my Tag?" She grabbed my lapel, her words clutched my throat.

The fire and the gray haze from that day returned to my mind, watching Zemira crumble at my feet. I had a hundred different ways to explain how a command could go wrong. 

How every time we stepped on a piece of land, the chance of being alive at the next step remained a low probability.

Today, I was given a chance to relieve the burden I lugged for so long.

"Yes, I gave the orders." Acceptance was the only way I could find peace and so did Zemira.

~

Do you really think, Leo's confession would make things easy? Or will it be the thing that rocks their foundation?

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