Zemira

After a touch-and-go episode with Leo, I needed to get my bearings in order. That resolve, however, seemed to vitiate when I saw another handwritten note from him, peeking through its hold on the fridge. His cursive writing reminded me of the note he placed on my red dress.

With a fondness for all things written, I grabbed the paper.

I have a friend's gallery opening today. Meet you there, need you as my plus one.

I've dropped the location on your phone.

L

After reading, I slid the paper back into its prevision position. Unlike Leo's last message; the smile-inducing one, this memo seemed formal. And disciplined. I felt a hint of reservation in his words like he was forced to invite me.

It was very different from the way he behaved with me since our dinner reservation. Assured that nothing changed between yesterday night and today and that it was my old nerve-racking ideologies, I put my wild thoughts to rest and got dressed for the office.

With loads of work burying Dad underneath, our office interactions were reduced. It played a spoiler on our ritual too. 

Once a week, my father would take time out of his busy schedule to have a father-daughter bonding time over lunch. I had no recollection of how it began or when but soon it became an integral part of our lives.

After a quick shower and a quicker dab of makeup, I drove to our office. Every staff member who saw me smiled and waved as I walked by. Some were generous enough to let me partake in the office gossip while I waited for Dad's meeting to end.

Once his Secretary nodded in affirmation, my feet fired up, and I darted towards his office. Barely a week had passed since my move out but the desperation to meet my father soared faster than an eagle attaining flight. 

I missed him and even the separation of a few days felt like a century.

Dad saw me through the glass walls. He flung up from his chair and rushed to my side. Being held inside the safety of his knightly strong hands, my heaving chest felt calm. He patted the back of my head; an action he imbibed from my mother.

"How're you doing Dad?" Still wrapped around him, I asked. 

He sighed, tucking me harder into his chest and placing a gentle kiss on my head. "You want the truth?" 

Oh, I knew the truth. The one that even I experienced after being away from him. Nodding a no, I smiled.

"In that case, I'm doing very well. I'm happy that my daughter's abandoned room can now be mine."

"There are twelve more rooms in the mansion, yet you eye my room!" I moved back, hands folded over my hips.

Dad winked, dragging out a chair for me. "Because your room is the biggest."

"The master bedroom is the biggest one."

Lashed with the remained that Dad stopped using that room after Mom's demise, my head hung low. He said her memories were braided in the room. Hard to ignore, harder to live with.

I fumbled for words as his eyes darkened, focus shifting to the framed photo of our fallen cancer warrior.

"How are things with Leo?" Dad straightened his lapel, leaning over the table. "And what are you kids up to?"

As if my brain was wired around Leo's name, every time his reference came up, I visualized his chiseled body and adorable face with a smirk that set my insides ablaze.

But Dad wasn't asking about how horny his daughter was now, was he?

"The same old." I cleared my dried throat and my mind, pushing away thoughts of my fake fiancé. "Dinners, meetings, and showing people what they want to believe."

"I see."

His eyebrows furrowed while he called for lunch.

"Aren't we going out?"

"I wish I could but I've too much work, kiddo."

Unlike our counterpart Brentons that functioned with a manpower of three men, we only had one. I wasn't of much help when it came to intricate business matters.

For lunch, we shifted from Dad's workstation towards the longer-sided table next to the window with the sunny view outside. Dad dragged his chair beside me, interweaving our fingers.

"You know, I need that hand to eat. Right?" I said.

"How are you really doing, baby?" The corners of his lips rose gently as he leaned over to my side.

I didn't understand the need to reiterate the question but playing along, I delivered a small smile. 

"As I said, I'm fine, Dad."

"You know," he sighed before I could even finish my reply. "There was a time when you used to say you were great. On top of the world."

His words dried my mouth. Heat swept across my body from memories creeping out of their graveyards, their decayed stench watering my eyes. Tag's face danced around in my mind, forming a lump at the back of my throat.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." He pulled me back into his embrace by when the storm of tears broke through the barrier, shattering my calm and spilling over my face. "Don't you dare cry. I can't bear that sight."

His voice trembled, just like mine.

"I can't help it, daa... duhh..."

For long, Tag's name, his memories cursed me to fall victim to my tear ducts. Without any forewarning, it rained over, uncaring of the occasion or situation.

Dad cupped my face pulling it up to his eye level, his thumbs wiped away the misty corners. "We've been through worse, my child and you've emerged stronger from there..."

The time he spoke of when mom fell gravely ill and was shifted to intensive care. Though we both braved through it, my father missed realizing a crucial part. 

Since Mom's cancer spread and her chemotherapy failed, we readied ourselves. We forged our bones with the strength of foreseeability and our minds with the thoughts of her being pain-free.

But with Tag...

"Tag was the past, kiddo." As always, he read my mind, understanding the reason for yet another one of my breakdowns. "He was a cherishing past but the past, nevertheless."

"I'll try Dad. I'm... I'm trying, I swear."

"I can see that, but are you really?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means..." He tilted his head, watching the ceiling before leaning back to face me. I gripped my armrest. "...are you giving someone else a chance to get to know you? To replace the man you've kept at such a high pedestal, nobody could reach to replace him?"

I lied with a nod. 

Although he didn't bother saying anything after that, I felt as if he sowed the seeds of closure, watering it with the hope of companionship. What he didn't realize was the truth he too ignored.

Like Mom, Tag never needed the yardstick measurement. Incontestably, he was the best thing that happened to me. And the best things in life only happen once.

For the remainder of the lunch, we talked about the merger and the newer deals sent our way, thanks to Leo. After spending a few more hours working, I drove back home with the promise to meet up sooner.

By evening, I dragged myself off my bed and got dressed for yet another social event. Wearing a black gown and grabbing a faux black diamond-embedded clutch, I left the place.

Upon my arrival at the galley, camera flashes greeted me. I smiled and waved to them while being escorted inside by security. 

I could sense the status of the crowd with the number of armed guards stationed outside.

The gallery struck a resemblance to the insides of the Sistine Chapel. A long corridor with ornate glass panes on both sides displaying art while the ceiling painted with cupids and mythical creatures awed everyone.

In a throng of familiar smiles and recognizable faces, one stood out. 

Kiera's expression lit like a thousand bulbs upon seeing me. She even clubbed some people when she approached, flinging her arms around my shoulders and dragging me inside her caged hold.

"It's so good to see you." She spoke into my shoulder. "My office hours are killing me, girl. But enough about me." She pulled me back. "How are things at your end?"

"I keep busy." I shrugged. "Mostly working with Dad. The rest of the time I keep staring at the ceiling in my apartment." When her eyebrows stayed hooked at my words, I gave her a gentle nudge. "Shut up, girl. You know what I'm talking about..."

"Oh, do l?" She acted as if unaware of my routine, placing her hand over her face to reveal a confused look. "Or are you hiding something again? Like doing a hot man in a hotel room?"

"Shush." My eyes scanned the room for any lazy ear. "You'll be the death of me, Kiera."

I pulled her to a secluded corner, grabbing us flutes of champagne. The pale golden drink invited me to gulp it down, assuring me my nerves would settle. 

Not many knew I hated attending social events. None knew I had bouts of anxiety while mingling with strangers.

I nibbled my cuticles and gnawed at my lips, hoping for the alcohol to kick in. Kiera may have read my rattled expressions to hold onto my fidgeting hands.

"How did it go with Uncle?" She asked, diverting my attention from the crowd of onlookers.

"The usual. Move on in life and everything." 

This wasn't the first time Kiera was made aware of Dad's concern for me. Like always, she agreed with him as if she was paid to do so.

"And do you know why he recycles the same topic?" She asked, crossing her arms to her chest.

"Please don't get started here. I know what I've to do. I'm trying."

"You know that fake partner of yours. He really cares for you." She reverted with an unconvinced sigh.

I didn't know if it was the way she rolled her eyes or the implication of her statement but my laughter boomed, resulting in a few heads turn to our side.

"Yeah, right," I said. "Everyone cared for me." 

Everyone cared for me; for my status. 

Everyone wanted to be my friend; for the company of my last name. 

Everybody wanted to take photos with me; for more likes on social media. 

Nobody bothered caring for me.

"If you don't want to believe me, then don't." Keira grabbed my shoulder, grabbing my attention. "But I speak what I see."

"What do you see?" 

She gazed at my face for minutes as if contemplating whether to break the news or not. For a brief moment, we remained frozen. Then she smiled, turning me to face the opposite side.

"In a sea of well-dressed gorgeous women, Leo's attention is stuck on you."

Across the crowded room, our eyes met. Leo slowly dipped his head and raised his toast at me. 

My arm floated up, reverting with a wave. Only when he walked away, did I inhale again. My scrambled senses realigned. When he disappeared from my sight, the grip of reality tightened.

Leo held the power to take my breath away. My sanity too.

~

  Don't you just love when things start happening? Eyes meeting, smiling at someone's thoughts...

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