Holly P.O .V

I feel so relieved to come out to my close friends. it was going well, Jeff even told me about some gay girls around the campus just in case. He is kinda funny how he made a list for some potential girls for me but deep down I know well he was little disappointed. we have been close just for about couple months since we're in second year, and I know from the first time that he had little crush on me. I don't want to lead him on for nothing so telling him about my sexual orientation is quite big deal for me. 

 Eventhough I have been out, there are still some guys that keep trying to hit me with all means since they dont believe that I am not interested in men. When my demons arrive, it can be pretty bad tho, cuz I love teasing them and see how it goes. Being an ass is my talent sometimes, but don't get me wrong, I will not hurt good people like Jeff. People say my appeareance is the biggest asset for me to fool people, I am not quite sure about that but so far it works well. 

It's been boring playing around, hanging out with "friends" from party to party without having once real relationship with someone. I feel like craving of how it feels missing someone and being missed by someone for real. Speaking of relationship, it reminds me of my plan to try tinder apps. I dont know what I am expecting, but at least this app is one of the most popular dating apps out there. I mean thats how the adds say about it. 

'well... it's better try it now' I grab my cellphone, see some notifs from snapchat, I skip that. I dont think there's some thing more urgent than my fun. I am so eager to see how are gays people in tinder.

I add some photos, a bio and interests to my profile, I want to make sure that my profile picture is clear and showcases my personality, I give a bio which is witty and intriguing, I have been following the whole steps in the tinder's tips. When everything is set up, I start to go through all the photos to see if there's some girls that may attract my thirsty soul. Do I sound desperate? fuck... I am desperate lol. I keep scrolling till I find a picture that I feel like familiar  

I go through her profile and find out her name, Paige

"she's gorgeous as hell" I am mesmerized by her beauty

"what? we are in the same city?" the bio makes me jerk up and sit straight. Jenny my roommate was freaked out seeing me jump on my butt 

"what happened?" she's curious

"do you know paige?" I ask her

"ya kinda, its not that we've ever met but i just know her bombastic story in soccer, I think you know about her too, she's Jeff's friend, he talks alot about her"  Jenny clarifies about her and it makes sense now that her profile seems familiar 

"why?" she demands more information

 "is it her?" I show her the profile, she takes my cellphone 

"yup, its her, beautiful huh?" she's teasing 

"are you going to try to match with her? she seems cool" she hands me the cellphone

"I dont know, dont you think its weird? " Ignoring my curiosity 

"dont you think its what the tinder's for?why are you in the tinder at the first place if you dont want people to get to know you?its even weird you think thats weird, better leave tinder and back to the cave" she mocks and leaves me with my jaw dropping on the floor  

"ouch... but thats right" I whisper, I feel like being punched lol

I examine her picture once more, her bushy hair is so sexy, her eyes are able to make people say
"yes" right away when she beg for anything. I have gone through all of her pictures. I even try to look up her instagram. I glance at my watch and fuuck... I have been stalking her like for more than 3 hours, Oh My God its not enough...while I am going to have small examination tomorrow but here i am, being a crazy stalker. It is legit that Paige Howard is being my fantasy dream now, its embarrassing in some point but who cares, nobody knows about it. Before I shut my cellphone down and try to concentrate with my papers. I open my tinder once again and  go directly to her profile and my heartbeat is racing when my finger slowly try to swipe it to the right, I close my eyes and do it. I feel like all the air was sucked, I need to close my cellphone before I am fainted. I take a long breath trying to calm myself down  and I think just whatever will be..will be.

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"Holly....!!" Paige is smiling and walk closer to me "Hi.." I greet her softly, then she reaches my hands and pull them to her lips but then I feel like she squeezes them hard and pull them roughly in sudden, I cant think "what the fuck......"

"Holly...!wake up!" she pulls my hands trying to make me off the bed. Damn it.... Jenny always ruins my sweet dreams 

'ya.. ya... I am up...."I am trying to pull my self off the bed 

'you dont want us to be kicked out in our exam right?we cant be late today, Holly!"

"give me 5 minutes ok?" I rush to the bathroom, leave her grumbling  

"you're lucky, you wake up and have been beautiful already"  Jenny's shouting while chewing her bread 

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I 've almost done with my paper when I hear my cellphone vibrating. my proffesor announces to hand her the paper for those who has done and can leave the class.I scan my whole answers to make sure I dont skip any question, I didnt really read all of the materials but the questions are more like case studies that already been discussed, I am not good reader but I am good at memorizing what people say so it gives me more advantage. I put my answer sheet on the table and step outside. While waiting for Jenny's done with her papersheet, I take a look of my notifications, It says Paige and I are match

"what?? are you kidding me? Oh My God... What the fuck..." I tap the app and see that we can chat now. I see her online, I decide to wait her to text me first. I am not kind of person that can easily talk to a stranger online. 

"Hei....are you ok?" Jenny ask me, she's obviously curious about my blank face 

"ya, I am ok" I assure her. My heartbeat is rebelling, its racing anticipating if this Paige girl text me. I am waiting an hour 

24 hours

a week 

a month 

its almost a year. My heartbeat has forgotten about the swipe already. thats good.