To my greatest love,

I’ve been composing letters for you up until this point. I’m hoping that once we meet, you’ll be able to read them. When will that happen? How long will I hope, wishing for an impossibility to become real? If you’re wondering about her condition, she’s slowly getting better. You two are truly siblings; maybe not by blood, but you are both courageous.

Still, you had many differences; I am with Christia, not with Aris—not with my beautiful flower who blooms in her own way. You bloom the way you want. How are you, my beautiful flower? Did you manage to read the letters I put in your bag? Too bad we couldn’t read them together. I haven’t read yours yet. I keep asking myself, “Why do we have to experience this? Why do the two of us have to go through all of this, love?”

Nagmamahal at patuloy kang mamahalin,
Colin

***

"

Colin Isaac," tawag niya sa'kin. We are here in Baguio. We both want a new ambiance, and this place is the best.

How can a girl be this brave? She’s really one of a kind. I never thought I would meet someone like her. She came at a time when I was weak, when I was in pieces. She’s the one who fixed me.

Meeting her isn’t something I regret.

"Anong pangarap mo? Maliban sa pangarap mong kurso. In your practical living, what’s your dream?" She asked while looking at me directly.

We are both standing on the terrace of this resort with coffee in our hands.

Ano nga bang pangarap ko?

"I still don’t know, Lopez," I replied honestly.

She laughed at my response. "Oh, akala ko ako lang. By the way, same."

She stared at the beautiful sight in front of us and smiled.

"Ngunit ngayon lang, alam ko na kung ano ang gusto ko. I want a simple life. Maybe one day I’ll build a house here. I’ll be an engineer, and I’ll be the one to manage when I build my own house here." A woman with a dream. "And I want to help those kids who live in a world full of cruelty. I’ll adopt a child when I find a man who truly loves me—the man that God will give me at the right time. I don’t want my kids to experience having a broken family. I don’t want them to go through what I overcame because I know how difficult it is, how painful that experience can be."

"Then let’s adopt a kid in the future," I said to her. She was stunned for a moment and then snickered.

I’m not bluffing with my remark.

"Seryoso kasi ako, Tongco."

Do I look like I’m telling lies here, Aris?

She struck me playfully and grinned as she glanced at me. You assume that anything I say in relation to this is a joke.

It’s okay, I’m willing to wait, Aris.

"Anong gusto mong ipangalan sa kanya?" tanong ko, curious about what name she might have in mind.

"Reves," she answered softly. Reves—such a beautiful name. "I want to name her that because I want her to remember that she's someone's dream. Reves is the French word for 'dreams.'"

As I listened to her explanation, I couldn’t help but be captivated. Who wouldn’t fall for this woman? Her thoughts, her depth, everything about her was enchanting. I couldn’t help but fall in love with her more and more.

The deeper I fell for her, the harder it became to imagine my life without her. There was something about the way she spoke, the way she saw the world, that made it impossible not to be drawn to her. Everything about her was likeable, loveable.

And the more I fell, the more I realized that I didn’t want to get out. I didn’t want to escape this love, this feeling. I wanted to be there with her, to share in her dreams, to build a life together where our dreams could intertwine.

"Tongco, you know how to play the guitar, right?" She asked, her eyes twinkling with excitement.

"Yes, a little," I replied honestly, not wanting to overstate my abilities.

"Let's sing," she said, pulling me up from where we were sitting at the resort. Before I knew it, she had grabbed a mat and led me to a quiet spot under a large, old tree.

She spread the mat on the grass and we both sat down, facing each other.

"Let’s compose a song together," she said with a determined look.

"I’m not as good as you," I admitted, my fingers fumbling slightly on the guitar strings. "You’re a writer; it’s easy for you," I added, letting the guitar rest on the grass.

She smiled warmly and shook her head. "Hindi mo sure," she said, her voice gentle. "Ganito, dugtungan mo ‘yong kakantahin ko at hanapin mo ‘yong chords." She winked at me, and something stirred in my heart. Her encouragement felt like a lifeline, pulling me out of my self-doubt.

Perhaps, for her . . . I could break free from whatever was holding me back.

I picked up the guitar again while my fingers finding the strings.

"Nagtagpo sa 'di inaasahang panahon~" pagkanta niya, ano ba'ng idudugtong ko?

"Sa mga problemang akala'y 'di na sila makaka ahon~" her eyes widened when I sang the next line that came up on my mind.

"Hindi inakala~"

"Na ika'y makikilala~" she smiled.

"Nagtapo sa panahong parehong pira-piraso~" I continue strumming the guitar while looking at her gorgeous face.

It's so bright, as if there's no problem in her life. Sana ganito nalang palagi ang buhay namin. Parang walang dinadalang problema. Masaya lang.

"Sabay bumangon nang buo~" I sang.

"Sa pagdaan ng panahon,

Ikaw pa rin hanggang ngayon~" the tune is just so . . . I kept on falling again and again on you.

"Hanggang kailan masasaktan?

Pakiramda'y 'di mapigilan~" I sang. Until when I've been feeling this? I can't contain my emotion and it's hurting me, knowing that you're not into me.

"Mahal, ikaw pa rin hanggang ngayon.

Ikaw pa rin sa lahat ng pagkakataon~" pagdugtong niya. This song just really hit me.

Bakit kailangan pa talagang sapul na sapul ang kantang ito na binubuo naming ng sabay?

Love, it's you, it's always you.

"Nagtapo sa panahong parehong pira-piraso,

Sabay bumangon nang buo~" she showed me her beautiful smile. My beautiful fiore.

"Sa pagdaan ng panahon,

Ikaw pa rin hanggang ngayon~" Lagit-lagi, araw-araw, ikaw lang Damaris.

"Hanggang kailan masasaktan?

Pakiramda'y 'di mapigilan~"

"Mahal, ikaw pa rin hanggang ngayon,

Ikaw pa rin sa lahat ng pagkakataon~" even if it takes a lifetime. You and you alone, love.

"Hanggang kailan aasa?~" I sang.

"Hanggang kailan maghihintay?~" pagdutong niya.

"May hihintayin pa ba? (Meron pa . . .)" she second voice. It gives me hope.

"Mahal, ikaw pa rin hanggang ngayon~" we sang the ending together.

Our lips filled with smiles after. You are kind of euphoria that I don't want to last.

We stayed there for an hour, I closed my eyes and prayed.

Panginoon, pinagdasasal ko po sainyo na kung siya man ang babaeng nilaan niyo sa'kin. Gusto ko po na siya ang makasama ko habang buhay. Siya po ang babaeng gusto kong pakasalan. Handa po akong maghintay, kahit gaano pa katagal Panginoon. I learned many things in her, ang mga pagsubok na dinadaanan namin at pagdadaanan palang namin. Gabayan mo po kami Panginoon, gabayan niyo po siya at ang kan'yang pamilya.

I humbly asked this in Jesus name I pray amen.