On Air
Pagan's Palace Episode 1
Channel: Kyrat TV

A white screen appeared in the tv, and words Pagan's Palace appeared in a cursive font, with harp music playing in the background. Pagan's voice could suddenly be heard.

"Gentlemen and Beautiful Ladies! Welcome to Pagan's Palace!" Pagan said, as his face appeared on the screen, and the camera began to zoom out, revealing Vaas and Joseph at Pagan's side, and of course, the infamous Palace, owned by Pagan, behind the three stars.

A montage of the palace began to play, including the beautiful architecture, the fabulous interior design, the delightful torture room, even the staff was pleasing to the eyes.

"The extravagant reality show starring:"

The next montages were of the iconic stars.

"Joseph Seed!"

The montage started off with a picture of Joseph and the rest of the seed family, with Joseph's name printed beside his face, with the same font used in the Bible. Videos then flashed on the screen showcasing Joseph's finest work.

•Giving sermon's while shirtless (Pagan thought people would like Joseph's body)

•Joseph ordering the execution of sinners
(Pagan thought it was hilarious)

•Joseph overlooking his brother, Jacob, brainwashing people into obeying the Seed family.
(Pagan thought it was very clever)

Next up for their montage was the infamously insane pirate, Vaas. His montage started with a warning, because his was more violent. The montage started out with a picture of Vaas standing on the beach with  a machete in one hand, and a severed leg in the other, with Vaas's name written in a more rugged and messy font beside Vaas.

•Vaas blowing up a helpless hostage with a rocket launches, then laughing about it.
(Pagan found this to be incredibly entertaining.)

•Vaas taking a piss on a hostage who's body is buried in the sand, with only their head free.
(Pagan felt that this clip has resonated with him.)

•Vaas petting a dog, in front of person getting tortured.
(Pagan felt that this clip showed off Vaas's sensitive side)

Last but certainly not least, was the infamous Pagan Min, who's montage seemed to have more work out into it.

Pagan didn't bother to out his name in the montage, since he is the main star, after all. And he's also the king of Kyrat, so people should already know his name.

His montage included everything, since as Pagan visiting his subjects (which including stabbing people with a pen), a tailor measuring Pagan's suit, Pagan overlooking a chef carefully preparing a meal for him, etc.

The video then cut to Pagan, siting on his very expensive throne. It zoomed out to show a massive painting of Pagan in the exact same position.

"Here we are, in my palace. We've already seen the stars, but why don't we go visit some of our lovely guests?"  The tyrant said as he stood, the camera panning over to see Jason, Ajay, and Rook standing awkwardly, in that order from left to right, almost waiting for the camera to pan. Jason waved, and Rook crossed their arms. Pagan walked over to the Rook first.

"Here we have... The Rookie from Hope County Montana. They're the guest of our beloved Prophet, Joseph. Rook doesn't talk much. Actually, I don't even know their real name." Pagan said, holding Rook's shoulders. He moved over to Ajay.

"Ajay Ghale, my ex-wife's son. Although he is the son of a terrorist and a murderer, I choose to ignore that and pretend he's my son. He basically is, he's known me longer than Mohan Ghale, the terrorist I just spoke of." Pagan said, patting his arm around Ajay in a fatherly way. Ajay looked very uncomfortable.

"And here... is Jason. American rich white boy. One of many. He is the best friend of Vaas Montenegro, our best pirate in Kyrat. Say hi to Kyrat, Jason."
Jason awkwardly waved once more.

"Now that we've met everybody, let's go see what's happening in... My Palace!"

Camera fades out
Commercial Break

Since most of Pagan's commercials were propaganda, he figured he would use the commercial break for the reality show as more marketing. The first commercial recorded was directed by Vaas, written by Vaas, and starring: Vaas.

"Do you know of our precious Pagan Min?" Vaas said, walking into the frame, right outside the palace.
"He's the king of Kyrat, right? Wrong! He's the gift to Kyrat! You guys are lucky to have this motherfucker! Let's see what happens to people who don't like Pinky McFlamboyant, and who even go as far as to form the terrorist group, The Golden Path?"  Vaas said, as three tied up members of the Golden Path came into the frame.

"Let's visit with our friends from the Golden Path." The pirate said, leaning on the first hostages head. "What is your trade, terrorist?" He asked, moving to face the Golden Path soldier.

"I...I-I am a sol-" the soldier began, before Vaas interrupted.
"SHUT UP! You're terrorist! You want to fuck with my dictator friend Porky?! You fuck!" Vaas said, begin to hit the soldier with a barrage of punches and kicks. The other soldiers begin to squirm and cry.

"You're lucky that the only weapon I have right now are my words. I don't count my hand, because they're attached to me." He said, holding the soldier's head up by his hair. Vaas looked to the camera.

"Listen up, kiddies! This is what happens when you're naughty! No Santa for you! If you disrespect the King, I'll give you a 5 minute headstart to pack your shit and get the fuck outta here."

He ended the commercial with a thumbs up.

The next commercial was Joseph's idea to get out the idea of God into Kyrat.

Joseph walked into frame, shirtless and armed, wielding a machete.

"Citizens of Kyrat... Allow me to demonstrate to you... the power of God..." Joseph began, as the camera zoomed out to show a Golden Path solider being crucified.

"Here, we have a horrible terrorist, who would dare defy Pagan Min, and by extension, my lord and savior. So we have him here, being crucified. I offered him wine to ease the pain, but I think Pagan gave me grape juice instead." Joseph said, examining a bottle of sparkling grape juice cocktail. He shrugged, and tossed the bottle away.

"Let's go have a chat with our little sinner over here." The prophet said as the walked up to the poor golden path soldier being crucified.

"Hello! Do you know why you're up hear today?" Joseph asked. The golden path member, with her face bloodied up, shook her head no.

Joseph pointed to a spot on her neck where the word 'Envy' was written. "Envy... you wanted things that you didn't have, and that it why you're up here today." Joseph turned to the camera.

"Don't sin. Try to live in the image of God. Or Kyra, even. Be more like Me. Be more... like Pagan..."

The scene would then fade to black, and that was the end of the commercials. It was time for the rest of the pilot for Pagan's Palace!

"Welcome back, my lovely subjects!" Pagan said, standing in front of a gold statue of himself.
"I hope you enjoyed those commercials, because if it wasn't me who approved them, they might have been very problematic. Especially if you had children watching. Sorry for traumatizing you, kiddies!" Pagan said, as Joseph jogged into frame, having taken off his shirt once more. Blood splatters were on his bare chest, in his beard, and on his gold shades.

"Are we rolling?" He asked, putting his hands on his hips. "I want to know if I should clean up so I don't look like I just crucified a sinner."

"Well, you did just do that, and we are rolling, so..." Pagan said, motioning to the camera and the nervous cameraman. "Say hi to all our fans!" Pagan said, looking in a nearby mirror to make sure he looked fine. Joseph awkwardly waved, then jogged off once more.

"Pinky! Our friend Rook is wanting food!" Vaas said, running into frame with Rook behind him.
"How did you figure that out?" Pagan asked, knowing that the Rook has never really spoken.

Rook mimed eating something. "Ah, I should've guessed." Pagan rolled his eyes, as he searched around the room, and seeing a random sub sandwich, presumably from last night's stress eating, done by Pagan. The tyrant tossed Rook the sandwich.

"Since everyone seemed to be getting along and having fun, why don't we go cause some drama?" Pagan asked, running past Vaas and Rook to go see if Ajay and Jason were talking at all. Fortunately for them and unfortunately for the two hostages, they were.

"Jason! Did you know that Ajay supports Vaas and his pirates?" Pagan said, resulting in shocked faces from both Ajay and Jason. "What? Why? He still has my fri- Oh shit. Oh shit! The pirates still have my friends!" Jason said, beginning to have a panic attack. He began to sweat. Ajay, to the surprise of everybody, got Ajay and hugged him, Jason beginning to calm down.

"They're fine. They're fine...." Jason repeated to himself. Pagan out his hands on his heart. "Aww... everybody is going to love this! Now kiss!"

Jason pushed away from Ajay. "I'm not gay! I have a girlfriend." Jason said, looking at Pagan and the camera. "Me neither. I'm single, but I'm not gay."

"Ugh. Maybe later. In the next episode!" Pagan said. "How long has this episode been? It's too short? Who cares! It's my show, my country, my rules. Until next time!"

"Bye kiddies! Don't look at me the wrong way!" Vaas said, walking up beside Pagan.

"See you, everybody. Be sure to say your prayers, or I'll pay you a visit tonight." Joseph said, his stare penetrating the camera man.

"Very nice, guys. Until next time!"

The camera began to pan upwards, and fade into white, with the title card popping up once more, ending the pilot episode of Pagan's Palace.