Marci Wellington's POV

Frustration and anger.

These two feelings consume my walking being as I slow my steps just outside the playground.

The swing set that used to be bright green calls my name, telling me to sit and watch the show. I follow the call because I have no choice. This year threw my life upside down. I fought tooth and nail to survive, but what happens when the little black girl gets consumed by her own thoughts? Memories that taunt her, remind her of a life she once lived?

I guess we're about to find out.

It was the summer of 2011 when school had finished for the session. This was when my mom's career started climbing. After working from home with my dad since their marriage, she rented out a small shop to start the fashion business. After a long day, she'd pick me up from school and we'd play in this very playground till my dad came to pick us up.

One tear.

The monkey bars were always my favourite. I used my flexibility to its full advantage; doing more stunts than a monkey. She would take pictures of me while I put stunt doubles to shame.

Two tears.

Then she'd push me on the swing while humming a piece written by Mark Knopfler. The wind would blow my hair everywhere and by the time we were done with the swing set, I'd be looking like I just came out of the nuthouse.

She'd walk us to the bench, place me on her lap and brush my hair till I looked like the sweet little daughter she knew. She'd place a kiss on my forehead and allow me to rest my head on her shoulder while we waited for my dad to come and pick us up.

Three tears.

There was a time before that horrible dinner took place. There was a time where she loved me, where she would make sure she was there for me even though she had a passion for fashion..

A fashion designer.

I wanted to be a fashion designer, but if it will put my kid through the shit storm I'm in, I think I'll pass. Maybe I wanted it because I idolised her so much and I wanted to be like her. Maybe I wanted it so much because I thought we'd be closer if both of us could do more things together.

As I sit in the den of darkness and brood over my memories that make tremors run through my body, I allow myself to smile.

My dad is on death's doorstep.

I smile.

My mom's close to losing her mind.

I smile even harder.

Abuelo used to say, "Whenever life throws rocks at you, smile brightly. It'll make the thrower go blind for a minute."

And I do just that. Tears pour from my eyes as I struggle to understand my life. I have no clue what my mom was getting at when she said she had no choice but to not have more kids. She kicked up a fuss when dad wanted more kids and moved out of the mansion. If they were being threatened, then why lie? Why make me believe that I'm not competent enough to take care of my siblings? If we could have just talked about it, I'm sure. We wouldn't be in this situation.

What did she mean by dad's past would come back to bite us in the ass?

The cold spring hair knocks me out of thoughts. The hairs on my skin stand as I shiver on the swing set. I embrace the cold. It's the only thing that has made sense since the year began.

Swallowing down dreams, especially when the dreams were close to materialising is not a simple task. The world has a funny way of telling you the truth and most of the time, it's through pain that you grow. You'd have to burn down everything and maybe you can rebuild what you wanted and make it better. Maybe you could build something entirely different and it won't allow you to lose yourself.

The sound of someone hissing draws me out of my internal monologue. I turn my head to the sound and see a familiar head of blonde curls cursing at the see-saw beside her. Another figure stood a bit behind her and his piercing green eyes looked hooded, as if he was staring right into my soul. Trying to make sense of something that never needed understanding from the get go.

"When did you two get back into town?" I ask.

Peyton and her step brother Danny, exchange glances, she nods and approaches me with hands raised in mock surrender.

"Hey Marci," Peyton says to me.

The realisation of how these two found me dawns on me, and I narrow my eyes to the pair. "Ironic of you two to show up here. Run into Shane?"

Leave it to my brother to snitch me when I needed him to keep his mouth shut.

"I know this sounds confusing, but we need you to come with us." Peyton tries to convince me, but I shake my head.

I was going to stay in my safe space until I felt safe, or at least close to it. If they were going to get me out of here, then it'd be my dead body that they'd be carrying out.

"Don't allow the door to hit you while you leave, because I'm staying." I sternly say.

The wind picks up and Danny stiffens as he inhales the air deeply. He examines the infrastructure as if looking for something.

"Seriously, Marci, you aren't safe here." Peyton says.

They thought I was not supposed to be here, and it made me chuckle. "Trust me; I've come here even during stormy nights. This is the safest place for me to be tonight."

Suddenly, Danny threw himself to the ground. Peyton followed his lead and took me down with her. I could make out the sound of bullets fly past my head and land on my favourite part of this abandoned place. The monkey bars.

Seems like my wish is about to come true.

"Your definition of safe is questionable," Danny sneers and brings the gun he apparently had on him and starts firing.

"Get to the car." He commands us.

Peyton dragged me onto my feet and starts pulling me towards a car parked a few blocks away. I pull my limbs back from her, but this woman was not taking any of my shit. She wrestled me, secured both of my hands and pushed me into the back seat after unlocking the child lock.

Curse words flew out of my mouth as I hit my head repeatedly on the headrest in front of me.

Peyton entered the front seat with a satisfied smile on her face. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

I glare at her. "Why the hell do you care that I'm here? Why the hell are you here in the first place?!"

"Classified information," she replied in a clipped tone. "I know that you're not in the right state of mind-"

"Right state of mind, my ass." I grumble.

She ignores me and continues talking, "Despite that fact, giving people that care about you a heart attack isn't the way to go."

I turn my attention to the house beside the pavement as I tune her out. It looked as if the former owners had an issue with their own reflection. Broken windows and a missing roof made me to rethink my conclusion. I had resulted in counting the broken glass on the front lawn of the house to pass the time. Danny finally entered the driver's seat and drove off, narrowly missing gun shots.

The tense atmosphere in the car was enough to keep my thoughts at bay... for now. Given that this place could pass off as the place they filmed Nightmare on Elm Street, you would think I should have picked a better place to run off to. I looked from Danny to Peyton, judging from his clenched jaw and her tired expression. There was no way they were going to put me out of my misery and answer my questions. I settle back into the back seat and wait for us to reach the penthouse.

Walking into the penthouse and seeing Caleb with a worried look stirred up guilt within me. I would face my brother later because right now I was in no headspace -as Peyton kindly put it- to deal with anyone tonight. Dashing into my room and locking the door behind me, I paid no heed to Caleb's muffled words and went towards the shower.

I was walking with Lucas towards our Economics class when Felix blocked out the path.

"Look what we have here." Lucas sneers.

"I'm surprise you can read at all, Stuart." Felix returns the jab.

Lucas scoffs and goes to hurl another insult, but I place my hand on his mouth. "What do you want, Felix?" I groan, already tired of the testosterone match they were playing.

He smirks. "I just wanted to talk."

Lucas still tries to talk despite my hand on his mouth. Felix looks between us before facing Lucas solely. "Mind if I borrow her?"

Lucas glares and tries to reach for him, but I place my hand on his chest and stand between them. "I'll handle him. Just go to class and make an excuse for me."

Lucas looks unsure about leaving both of us alone, but he notices the security detail around us and sighs in defeat. We exchange looks once more, and he leaves.

"I only wanted to say thank you for helping me out of my debt," Felix says with sincerity.

I narrow my eyes at the Editor. "Has hell frozen over?"

He snorts, "No. I even have a gift for you." He reaches his hand into his pocket and brings out two small bottles, one with pills and the other with white powder.

He places it in my hand. "All of us have one issue with life or the other, and some of us find the cure faster than others." he says before he leaves me in the lonely hallway.

Am I crazy, but did Felix just offer me empathy?

I twirl the bottle in my hand, "But not everyone wants the cure as badly."

I throw them into one of my drawers and climb into my bed. I'd be delusional to think that I'll be able to sleep, so I grab my head phones and blast the music as I look at the ceiling.

A smile creeps up on my face when the memory of my dad showing me how to make a record comes to mind.

"Let it fall, Marci, let it fall."

Let it fall, I did.

-

"Marci? Please, can you open the door?"

I've been hearing this voice since six am; it's twelve pm, and she's still knocking. I gotta hand it to Paper; she is persistent.

I sigh and climb out of my bed. When I open the door, she launches herself at me and we land in a heap on the floor.

"God, I was so worried." My shoulder muffled Gia's words, but I heard her clearly.

I said no words after that, just two teenage girls hugging the shit out of each other while lying on the floor. Ironically, the day we met comes to mind at this very moment.

It was my dad's big day for opening his recording studio and the Lealtads were there to offer support ever since the day they found him.

"Marci sweetie, there's someone I want you to meet," my dad says as he picks me up from the floor.

I stare up at him while playing with his beard as he walks forward. "Who's that?"

He stops and drops me on my feet. Stood in front of me is a little mocha girl with her hair in pigtails and a huge toothy smile on her face.

My dad crouches in between us and gestures, "Marci, this is Giá, your cousin and Giá, this is Marci."

I turn to look back at the girl, but she was two steps ahead of me as she tackles me to the ground with a hug and starts squealing.

"Marci, Taryn said you should come for lunch or she will take a leaf out of Abuela's book and hit you with her shoe and a newspaper roll." Gail's squeaky voice trailed down the corridor and that was enough to get Giá to stand up from me and help me up.

She started backing towards the door. "I'll get your food while you prepare whatever bullshit that you plan to feed me." she smiles slightly and closes the door after herself.

Giá Lealtad.

One of the most loyal person I have ever met, despite what her last name and how her parents raised her. Giá has always had this energy about her, always sticking up for people she calls her own, and even though I push her away when my family issues creep up, she's like an itch that never stops itching.

I fall head first back into my bed as I wait for my best friend to come back and start her interrogation.

"I'm back and I brought oat meal with fruit curtsey of Shawn." Her voice announces her presence as she drops the tray on my bedside table and plops beside me on the bed.

"Where did you run off to last night?"

The question hangs in the air for many reasons. It's not every day you have family like mine or a best friend that has a hard glare painted just for you if you feed her bullshit.

Like I said earlier on, I've always wanted to have Giá's kind of family, where there is no drama, no paparazzi that want to get all up in your business.

"You won't stop until you know?" I reply grimly and turn around on the bed.

She hums. "You should know me well by now, bestie. I worry a lot about you and the fact that your parents aren't together anymore. I'm scared that one day you'll leave me and the boys and go into the next life."

I roll my eyes at her observation. "If I wanted to commit suicide, I'd at least give you a heads up. Besides, that thought has never crossed my mind."

I sit up in the bed and pull her in for a tight hug. "Giá there is no way I will do that. I know that my life isn't peachy but to be honest some people have it worse than me, sure I can't control what is going on, but that doesn't mean I should be selfish and rip myself away from people I care about." I sigh, "I really don't know how you put up with me sometimes.'

She hums and rubs my back. "Good to know. I put up with you because you are my family. And family is something that you can't replace, like a drop of a hat. I'm proud of you for holding yourself up for this long, but don't forget that I'm still here to catch you when you fall, Ink."

I inhale deeply and pull away. "There's this part of town I go to; it calms me, it makes me feel safe even though the environment isn't."

I don't need to look at her to know that she is listening with rapt attention. Family has always been a topic between both of us, since she has my ideal family I've always wanted; one where you won't have to get your hopes up for them to get put down just as fast.

"My mom told me something disturbing that I'm not sure I understand it just yet. I got caught up in my emotions and ran off to my safe space to think. Although I got caught up in gang violence and returned home."

Her disapproving noise sounds very similar to Lucas. "Marcella."

I glare at her for using my full name, but she ignores me.

"It's not your fault that you want certain things. That's what makes us human, that's what makes you, you. You don't need to beat yourself up with what happened. As you said before, it was out of your control." She sighs and observes my bedroom before she speaks again. "Even if you shut out the rest of the world, I'd always pull you right back in, just the same way you do for me." She says softly and pulls me for a hug. "I'm here for you always."

I will the tears that have gathered not to fall, but that's as easy as going a day without wearing black.

"It's a two-way street," I quote.

And she completes, "Not a one-way road."

A few drops fall onto her shoulder, and she tightens her hands around me. "Abuela said that you can visit your dad. Do you want to go?"

I sniff and break the hug. "Sure. Let me just shower first."

I move towards my closet to grab some clothes, but a tsk leaves her mouth as she grabs my forearm; her gaze moving to the tray of food.

"You can't always out smart me Marci, eat your food or I will call Taryn."

"Low blow,"

Freshly showered and some food in my stomach, Giá and I walk towards the elevator, but Caleb stops us and sweeps me into his hands.

"How are you sis?" He says into my hair after kissing my forehead.

I nod. "As good as your music."

He laughs and lets go of me. "Nice to see you again Giá," he smiles as he notices that we have company.

Just like always, Giá's skin saves her as she turns into one of those giggling fan girls that Caleb has. She has his number doesn't always make things better, but I am always amused by her actions.

I conceal a smirk. "Giá and I are heading over to see my dad. Wanna come?"

I think we all know that I'm not a saint.

Giá is yet to remove her hand from Caleb's and the smile on her face looks painful. Caleb says. "I still have work to do. Be back home on time."

He hugs me once more and ducks his head down to my ear, "Try not to shut me out too much, alright?"

"Will do, brother, will do." I tell him and manoeuvre my way out of his arms. I drag a stiff Giá into the elevator, and Shawn appears from nowhere to join us.

He nods at me and stares ahead while I try to bring my best friend back to the present by waving my hands in her face. That doesn't work so I resolve to shaking, she would have come back to the present sooner but she hit her head against the elevator wall before she did.

"Was that necessary?" she asks with a scowl.

"Don't blame me for your inertia, Para." I grin and throw my hand around her shoulders.

With my dad in the hospital, social media is eating it up faster than a hurricane. The fans and presses were strong, but Shawn was stronger and that's saying something because those people go to the gym with the force they've got going for them. Shawn opens the door to the cab that was parked in front of the building to let me and Giá slide into the back seat while he gets in the driver's side. He drives straight for the hospital my dad was in.

Giá breaks the silence in the car, "That reminds me, Abuelo has a new book pitch idea coming up and he asked if we could do an interpretive dance for him in the background?"

I hum as I mull over the options. "Sounds doable. Are the guys aware?"

She nods. "Lucas tried to talk me out of it, but it was two to one. Since you're in on it now, he's going to have to suck it up."

"Meanwhile, I see that Diego, Jade and Ian now hang out. Any clue to how that happened?" she asks.

"Not any, Paper. I'm as shocked as you are."

When I saw them at the talent show, I honestly thought I would borrow Nate's glasses to make sure that I wasn't losing my sight. It turns out I wasn't. Ian must have taken my advice to heart, or they could have patched things up.

What about Xena?

I have no business with her and it must stay that way till she graduates. But I still wonder how she must feel; I mean, her intentions were genuine, even if her actions were poor. I guess life truly can't go the way you want it to all the time.

We pull up into the hospital parking lot and make our way to the front desk and get the directions to my dad's ward. There were men in black crawling on the floor and since it's a private hospital, my dad's ward was the only ward on the floor.

"You want me to come with you?" Giá stops me from entering the room.

I shake my head firmly. "I think I'll handle this on my own."

I pull her into a tight hug, "Thank you, Paper."

"Anytime Ink, anytime." She returns the hug just as fiercely.

The stench of drugs fills the air as I walk in. The sound of beeping machines breaks the sterile atmosphere. With a bed in the middle, two more bodyguards who stood at the corners of the room nod at me as I made my way to my dad.

"You used to tell me that if I ever end up in a hospital, that I should use Abuela's newspaper as a weapon. It might save the day." I humour the sleeping figure as a small smile makes its way to my lips.

"I've always known that you and mom were going to split up. The sole reason that the both of you tried your hardest to make it work was because of me. I'd be a rotten kid if I sounded resentful and walked away from the life the both of you gifted me. Truth be told at the beginning of the year. I hated the two of you, mostly mom. I just couldn't understand why the both of you couldn't just work out what was holding you two back from making up."

A hiccup leaves my lips as the tears I've been holding since morning drops to my face one by one.

"She told me. About the death threats and how much violent was in your past, but she didn't explain it fully. I honestly hoped that she was bluffing and looking for an insane way to make sense of everything until Peyton and Danny rescued me last night from a shootout at the playground."

I take his hands in mine hold them firmly as more tears poured down my face. "It's wrong of me to want to be selfish and ask you to get back together with her. I can't ask you to give me the family I've always wanted because you did. I'm talking about the Lealtads, Caleb, Abigail, hell, even Mom. We're not perfect but we have each other and that's one thing I know that I've always wanted, but what I want much more is for you to wake up. Wake up and show me how to turn the tables on people who stand against my friends and me, wake up and show me how to make records and CDs. Wake up and continue to be my favourite person in the world."

My voice cracks but I go on, "Please dad wake up. I love you."

I cry silently by his side, hoping that at least he would stir. Give me a sign that he hasn't crossed over and left me in the world.

As the seconds ticked by, memories of all our times together flash through my mind and I choke back some tears. They come like a movie. The opening credits roll in and it begins at my first dance recital. In my bright pink tutu, I try my best to make a perfect twirl, but I sprain my ankle in the process and fall. My dad stands up and starts clapping; he even compelled up the rest of the parents to clap for me as my teacher carries me off the stage and into his waiting arms.

The image of his limp body on his office chair, filled with bullets, implants itself in my brain, which makes me shake my head vigorously.

I must have imagined that scene, but here is the aftermath right before my eyes.

The time ticked by and all of them played right until this moment. I had already stopped crying, but I still sniffed occasionally. I sigh and lean closer to my sleeping dad and kissed his cheek.

"I love you and mom so much, but if I thought you guys splitting up would make things never be the same, I was wrong. You dieing and leaving us will be the deal breaker. Please wake up."

I turn away from the bed and walk back outside into the waiting arms of my best friend.

"I believe a small dance is in order." I say and a silent message passes between.

I've never been one to be emotional; that's why I use dance as a release. I didn't even like crying at the beginning of this year but in just this weekend, I've been crying so much one would think I have an infinite supply of water in my system. Bottom line, crying is a way for people to get a glance into your soul and, from experience, I know better than to allow that to happen again.

The car pulls up in front of a dance studio that we attend during the summer. The teacher is also our gymnastics teacher back in school, Miss Harper. Despite the affair between her, the coach and Miss Beatrice, I know she is a kind woman.

I never liked her when I was younger, but I started tolerating her when she allowed me and Giá to use her studio as a release. She started acting like a bitter hag after her dirty laundry became the gist of the entire school.

"I thought that the two of you finally broke a leg and quit." she greets us with a grim smile on her face.

"You see us during the school year, that alone answers you theory." I return her jab. "Or is old age affecting your sight? About damn time, though."

A small laugh escapes her lips. "Are you here to learn something new, or you want me to leave?"

Giá smiles at her, "We just want to do a little freestyle today."

Miss Harper nods and makes her way out of the room while calling over her shoulder, "Try not to break your leg while you're at it."

"Will do," we reply in unison and get into position.

The ballet piece plays softly in the air and just like the first night I climbed a dancing stage, I allow my body to move to the music but this time I don't spring my ankle.

Hey Guys!

I'm on a roll with the updates. Please tell me what you think, because I enjoyed writing this chapter. It feels like a major arc for Marci's personality.

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