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PAAYA HAI MAINE FIR TUJHE! CHAPTER 7

Recap – Realization...

Ragini runs to her room, closes the door and sits on the bed, breathing heavily. Her eyes are closed and there is a smile on her face. She keeps her hand on her racing heart. All her moments with sanskaar, from last seven months flashes in her mind. She recalls all the promises he made to her. He has kept all his promises. He has never made her cry. He has given her all the happiness.

Ragini : sanskaar..... you have done  a lot for me and there’s nothing I can do to pay you back. I never understood your love Sanskaar but i promise you, now you’ll get all the love you deserve. Papa was right, flowers don’t blossom in darkness but i couldn’t see the light you brought in my life sanskaar.

She picks up the photo frame in which Sanskaar was carrying Ansh in his one arm and his other arm is around her shoulder. she touches his face.
Ragini : sanskaar, loving you will not mean that i’m betraying my love for Lucky. He was my first love and you’ll be my last. One heart can love two people if it’s pure. I have loved Lucky with all myself and now I love You Sanskaar. Yes, I LOVE YOU, SANSKAAAR!!!

She shouts on top of her voice and hugs the photo frame. Happy tears runs down her cheeks. “Not everyone is fortunate to get a second chance in life, you are blessed, Ginni. Don’t ruin this for yourself and for Ansh.” She recalls Dp telling her this. At that time she had just ignored whatever he was saying but now she realizes that he was right.

She stands up and opens the cupboard where all her gifts were kept which sanskaar brought for her. And she had never opened a single present. She takes out all the presents and keeps them on the floor and sits down to open them. There was a special note with each present.

Present 1 : a beautiful revolving photoframe with their pictures from childhood till Ragini’s first marriage! #Down_the_memory_lane

“ We've known each other for some years now, and we've accomplished so much. We’ve gone through so much since childhood, but all together. I still can’t forget how I used to get beaten up by neighbour aunties because of you. Through it all, each and every day, I've grown more and more head-over-heels in love with you. You are the girl I always dreamed of, and I am so grateful to call you my WIFE, now. I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you do to make us happy and secure. Thank you for being such a loving, strong, compassionate woman. You are my jewel, and I love you more than I can say.”

Her eyes welled up. How can someone be so selfless. she had never gone beyond her capacity to make him feel special. Forget special, she has never made him feel anything. And here, he’s showering his love on me like it’s for free. She smiled seeing the photographs. He has treasured them like pearls. She moved to the second gift.

Present 2 : a beautiful watch... #moments

“Ginni, I always want you to be happy. This watch will remind you all the happy moments we have spent together. When I think of all the billions of people on earth and then realize that you and I met in spite of the odds, it makes me humble and grateful.

I think this saying is so true, "Life is not measured by the breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." Those cherished moments took my breath away! I will always remember the one who took my breath away so easily. You, my Ginni!

It's hard to express how much you mean to me, but consider this: no matter what I am doing, you are in my thoughts. It's not a choice I really have. I simply love you and think of you all the time. Whether moving through chores at home, working at the office, eating a meal, or just walking around--no matter what, you are always with me. No matter what I am doing, I think of the strength of our love, the way we hold each other, and the way you whisper in my ear ( when they were friends and when she used to get nightmares after marriage ) . I know, from the bottom of my heart, that we are meant to be together forever. I love you so very much!”

She hugs the letter and cries. She recalls how he used to look at her wrist all the time. Now she knows why? How could i hurt him so much? And he never complained or asked me. She immediately takes out the watch from it’s box and wears it. she kisses the dial of the watch.
“ sanskyy... i wish i had realized earlier. I’m so sorry!!!”

She moves on with the next present. It was a small packet covered with Red paper. She remembers................................

FLASHBACK!

It had been four months since she was married to Sanskaar. She had started feeling different around him but never showed. Ansh was the only chain which had held both of them, Ragini and Sanskaar together.

Sanskaar was always in a different zone when he was with her, especially when they were alone. But he never made her feel uncomfortable.

He had just returned from his tour from Sri Lanka and as usual had brought presents for everyone. In evening when she came to their room to take the clothes for laundary, sanskaar held her hand to stop her. An unknown feeling took over her heart and she felt like her heart skipped a few beats.

He looked at her wrist and sighed. He left her hand but made her turn towards him by holding her shoulders. She looked down.

Sanskaar : ginni...

She didn’t said anything.

Sanskaar : ginni.. i’m standing here... look up.

He makes her look up by holding her chin. She lifts her eye lids to meet his sparkling black orbs. She noticed that his skin tone was darker than before. He got tanned, she thought. She kept looking at him until he shook her.

Sanskaar : ginni, are you alright?

He touched her forehead and then cheeks with the back of his palm to see if she had temperature. She tightly held the clothes in her hands and nodded quickly.

Sanskaar : ginni, I brought this for you!

He said handing over the packet to her. She took it from him.

Ragini : sanskyy.. i told you na don’t bring gifts for me.. i’m not a kid.

She said the last line a little rudely and it obviously hurt sanskaar but he smiled.

Sanskaar : i can bring whatever i want for my wife. No one can stop me!!!

He exclaimed, pinched her cheeks and went from there. Ragini looks at his retreating figure. She threw the clothes on the floor and rubbed that parts of her body which he touched.

Ragini ; no.. no.. no sanskyy.... you can’t. I’m not your wife.... you are just my kid’s father and my friend.. nothing more than that. Not now. Not ever.

She cries. She keeps this present along with others.

FLASHBACK ENDS!

Ragini cries recalling this incident.
Ragini : how rude i was? How heartless i was, sanskaar? I couldn’t see how much i was hurting you? I didn’t threw these gifts, i threw your emotions, your feelings in that cupboard.

She cries hard.

I’m such a bad person. I couldn’t see your pain in front of mine. Not even as a friend. How could you still love me sanskaar? How could you??
She cries her heart out. She takes one locket and wears around her neck. She kisses the half heart.

I hope sanskaar i still belong to you! Because now, you belong to me sanskaar!

Present 3 : half heart lockets... #promise

“I promise my undying love to you, in sickness and in health, my continuous effort to make it work, and that all my love is yours and only yours. I hope and pray that this fairytale you have made my life stays and that we're good friends to the very, very end in our minds, bodies, and spirits. I love you with all my heart and soul. I love you far, far beyond my control and I always will, because what we share is more beautiful than the colours of any rainbow and they will never fade in days or only appear in rain. You've made my ending a new beginning. There are no other words in the dictionary to describe the very scary commentary that I am sharing. I will love you, Baby, throughout this life and beyond.”

She opened the next present which was heavy and big. Tears didn’t stopped flowing from her eyes even for a second.

Present 4 : aesthetic paint equipments .... #be_yourself

“I wish you weren't afraid to take off your cool reserve and be the real you. I wish I could see my old Ginni back. I want you to fill in the colours of joy in your life, yourself. And trust me, I won't hurt you or make you sad. I'd never deliberately cause you any pain, because love doesn't want to cause pain, only bliss. I hope you understand how your smile brightens my day. Even the thought of you makes my heart pump harder.

I wish that you were not afraid of a close relationship. Please don't think that you will be hurt again. I promise to never hurt you. If I do, I want you to tell me immediately, so that I can try to change things. If you promise to consider a close relationship, I promise to help you not to be afraid of it, because I love you.”

She sobs reading the note. She touches the paints brushes and colours.

FLASHBACK!

Sanskaar had bagged a very big assignment in Japan. He had put all his dedication and hard work for this collaboration. His talent and voice was spreading all over the globe, slowly. He was gone for more than a week. It was a great deal for him and his team.

Ragini obviously missed him but didn’t wanted to accept. But Ansh was not fighting with himself, he was clear what he wanted.

Ansh : mumma... i also want to go with Papa.. he never takes me.

Ragini : anshu, he has gone for work na... you saw him on tv last night, right?

Ansh : mumma don’t you miss him?? Don’t you want to go with him too?

Ragini : don’t talk non sense ansh. He’ll be back tomorrow then you can talk to him as much as you want.

Ansh ; mumma, you always say this only. You don’t love him... only i love him because only i miss him. I’ll complain about you.... huh...

He goes from there angrily. Ragini looks on.

“does she miss him?” she immediately brushed off her thoughts and continued her work.

Next day sanskaar arrived and was welcomed by all the family members including AP –DP. He took everyones blessings. Ansh jumped on him and didn’t left him even for minute. While everybody talked, ragini got herself busy with tea and snacks. Sanskaar gave Ansh his gift. He kissed him on his cheek. Ap and Dp were so happy seeing their joyful Ansh.

Ansh : papa... this time don’t give any gift to mumma.

He said with a pout. Everyone looked on confused. Ragini came there with the snacks.

Sanskaar : why champ? Did she scolded you?

Ansh : yes but that’s not the reason.

Sansaar : then what?

Ansh ; papa, she doesn’t misses you for a second also. And when i said that i also want to go with you, she scolded me.

Everyone looked at Ragini. She feels awkward. Her son has changed the party. Well he was hardly on her side. He was always his buddy’s buddy.

Ragini : it’s nothing like that... i mean how can he go with you, sanskyy... he has school na....

Sanskaar blinked his eyes asking her not to worry.

Sanskaar ; don’t worry champ. I’ll take you out when you’ll have vacations okay?

Ansh smiles happily.

^^^^

Sanskaar and Ragini are alone in the house, in the evening. She was in the balcony when he came to her with a big packet.

Sanskaar : ginni, for you!

He said forwarding the packet. She was about to say something but he interrupted her.

Sanskaar : now don’t say that you have told me not to bring presents and all that. Here, take this. Ginni, I know you are afraid to begin something new and it’s okay. But trust me ( he holds her hand ) i’m there for you! And i’ll never hurt you. This dull life doesn’t suit you ginni. Bring back the colours of happiness yourself if you don’t want anyone else to do that for you.

He looked at her for a moment. A brief eye lock after which he gently kissed her forehead and leaves from there. She looks at the packet in her hand. A lone tear escaped her eye.

“ how do i fill colours in my life?? There’s only one colour left for me and that is Ansh. There are no more colours and there wont be any in future as well.”

She wipes her tears and keeps the packet in the closet.

FLASHBACK ENDS

‘ i know sanskaar how much you wanted me to start painting again. But i never listened to you. I was afraid if i filled the colours in my life again they’ll be snatched again. I remember i even shouted at you for getting the canvas for me but you still smiled sanskaar.... how??” she cries thinking about all the moments.

She then looks at the other two presents. She opens the first one.

Present 5 ; a snow globe.......

“Every time I see you, I fall in love with you more and more. I love the way you smile, the way you see beauty in little things, even the way you occasionally get too excited as you analyze everything. I love the way you are passionate about Ansh, my family, your family, and I love it when you are passionate about me, which you hardly show. But I know that we are meant to be together, and I feel like you are starting to realize this too. I know that we can be so happy together. I can see us as a REAL married couple, a family of three that may grow to be four or more. If all these things do come about, I know that I will be falling in love with you even more.”

She smiles while crying reading this note. How could he understand her? Her emotions? When she herself couldn’t understand?

“Why do you love me so much sanskaar? I don’t know if i’ll be able to love you with same intensity and passions. But i’ll give whatever i can, i promise sanskaar!!”

She smiled through her tears as she opened the last gift. It was such a beautiful ring. She tried it on her finger. It felt like the ring was made for her only. She starts reading the note.

Present 6 : A RING.... #FOREVER_YOURS

“"Forever" is a hard word to understand. It encompasses all time. It extends beyond what we can possibly know. It extends beyond our own existence. It is, therefore, the only word I can use to describe my love for you, which exceeds anything I can possibly comprehend or describe. You have brought such happiness into my life and have brought me such bliss and affection.
I will forever love you. As I sleep, as I work, as I walk, as I breathe, you will always be in my thoughts. You will always be in my heart. You are a gift I will be grateful for every moment of the rest of my life. I thank God for bringing us together. Remember, I am yours forever.”

She didn’t knew what emotional turmoil was going inside her. There were so many emotions. A few which she realized a few hours ago, others which were emerging right then and a few which she was proud to have.

She read all the letters multiple times. Every time she read them, she felt a tingling sensation in her heart, tears rolled down her cheeks her heart was beating rapidly but there was still calmness inside her.

The episode ends on Ragini’s happy face.

^^^^^^^^^

Tadaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! I don't know how this chapter turned out.... I just wanted to show how much she meant for Sanskaar and his love for her over the past 7 months.

T

hese might be materialistic things, but the emotions and intention behind them are real!

Ragini had to feel how much he loved her and how much he wanted her to be happy, to be old ginni again!!!!!!

Do tell me how was the chapter. Please comment and vote guys!!!! 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️

XOXO 💋

Richa!