Job hunting.

Not the most thrilling adventure, but usually a necessary one. 

With what I had managed to save through dealing at the casino, I was able to pay for that year's tuition, including my room and some books. The scholarship I received went toward that as well, and I was already applying for more for next year. I didn't want to accrue more debt than necessary. But I also had extra spending to think about, such as a nice dress for Aaron's parents' engagement party.

As I sat on my bed searching for job postings, I took a break to look over my emails, desperately hoping I would get the news I was hoping for. I had three new emails in the past week, and I quickly opened them.

Thank you for your interest, but I'm sorry to say, all positions have been filled.

Next.

We would love to have you, please check back next summer!

Next.

I'm so sorry, we are only taking graduates at this time.

"Ugh! Stupid, mother of goose eggs!" Slamming my laptop shut, my eyes landed on Savannah's widened ones as she sat on her bed looking over her notes. 

"Mother of goose eggs?" She chuckled, removing her glasses and cleaning them on her shirt. "What has you so upset over there?"

I sighed, setting my laptop down beside me on my bed. "Nothing, it's just that I'm having a hard time finding a conservation internship. I really need one to be a paid internship, but everything I'm finding is not accepting new interns at the moment or they're filling positions with seniors."

"Wow, you would think they would take all the help they could get."

"Yeah, no kidding. But in those instances where they're not taking any more candidates in, it usually means they aren't taking any more paid interns. I can probably still volunteer, I'm sure."

"Why not just do that for now?"

"Because I need income coming in. I only have enough money saved for this year's expenses combined with the scholarship I received. I'm hoping I can get another one next year, but you never know. I'm going to need a job soon, and I was really hoping it could be doing something I loved." I shrugged, leaning back against my wall. "I love volunteering though. If I can find the time between school and job hunting, I definitely want to. Plus, it'll be an opportunity to make connections in my field."

"Yeah, that's true. I can keep a lookout for internships for you if you want. But in the meantime, I think Ella's Boutique is hiring. You should check online and see. It's not too far from campus."

"Awesome, thanks girl. I'll look right now." I grabbed my laptop and opened it, clicking on enter to bring up my home screen when my computer started glitching. The screen and its' icons were rapidly going in and out. "No, no, no, no! This can't be happening! What in the world!?" I yelled in frustration, aggressively tapping on its' keys like that would magically fix it.

Savannah was by my side a second later, trying to peer at my screen. "What's wrong? Did the Jonas Brothers split up again!?"

I looked up at her in amusement, despite my current frustration. "The Jonas Brothers? Really?" Chuckling, I shook my head and turned the screen to face her. "No, it's my dang laptop. I don't know what's going on."

"Here, let me see it. Restarting it should clear it up, but if not, I'll troubleshoot it and go from there."

Savannah grabbed my laptop from me, readjusting her pink-framed glasses, and restarted it as I sat there gaping at her. "You know about computers? I mean, beyond a simple restart?"

Savannah peered over at me and shrugged. "Yeah, this is an easy fix. I'll get you set up, no worries."

I sat up straight and grabbed her hand causing her to look back over at me. "Savannah, I just realized you never talk about your major. What exactly is it?"

She hesitated for a moment before responding. "Computer engineering."

I stared at her in awe and admiration. "Savannah, do you realize how incredible you are? Here you've been, doubting yourself and what you have to offer, when you are most definitely more than just a pretty face! It takes serious smarts and drive to do that."

She blushed, shrugging as if to dismiss me, like it was a habit to dismiss herself. "I just feel like people don't take me seriously when I try to show them both sides of myself. So, while I want people to see more in me, I feel like they expect me to just be one way. And usually, that's the pretty girl who loves pink and likes to talk."

"Savannah, trust me when I say, screw what anyone else expects. Give everyone, everything you've got. All sides of you are equally amazing."

She smiled, squeezing my hand. "You're the best friend I've just about ever had, Maddie. I am so glad you ended up as my roommate."

"Me too, Savannah. Especially if you can fix that thing." I teased, pointing to my computer that was finally starting back up.

She chuckled. "Don't worry, there's just about nothing I can't fix when it comes to computers."

"Speaking of...what are you and Kat planning for me?" I smiled sweetly at her, batting my eyelashes.

Her eyes went wide as she tucked in her lips, shaking her head quickly. "Nuh-uh, not going to happen! And how is that at all related to fixing your laptop?"

I scooted off the bed, sitting backwards in my chair instead, rolling it closer to face her as I grinned. "Nothing. I just really wanna know."

My 21st birthday was three weeks away, and it was clear Kat and Savannah had been making secret plans. Both of them had been talking on the phone a lot lately and acting suspicious. I didn't think it was possible for Savannah to hold anything in, but she was managing to stay quiet about whatever it was that they were planning. I was so happy that the two most important people in my life were getting along so well.

"You can't ask me that, Maddie. You know I'm having a hard enough time as it is keeping quiet about your surprise."

"A-ha! So, you guys are planning something!"

She covered her face with her hands and groaned. "Dangit, Maddie! You're not supposed to know anything. Kat's going to kill me."

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, she's not. You guys haven't exactly been sneaky about talking. And you haven't told me anything, so it's definitely going to be a surprise. Unless you feel like sharing." I wiggled my eyebrows causing her to laugh. She pointed her finger at me and shook her head.

"No way, missy."

"Fine. I suppose I'll let it go...for now." I winked, getting up. "Hey, are you busy after that?" I asked, nodding to my laptop.

"No, and I'm actually finished. It's running smoothly." She turned my screen so I could see, and I grabbed it from her.

"Oh, my goodness, thanks so much!" I set it down on my desk. "Do you think you can do me another favor and come shopping with me? I need to pick out a nice dress for Aaron's parent's engagement party."

It was two weeks away and Aaron had said it was going to be pretty formal. I was nervous to go, to say the least. Mostly for the fact, I still hadn't told him about mine and Liam's past. It was beyond awkward at that point to bring it up. Shamelessly, I was considering just keeping quiet and hope that Mr. Tucker wouldn't recognize me.

I know. I totally suck.

"Maddie, are you kidding? You would be doing me a favor by allowing me to go shopping with you. I am in need of a study break." She grinned, standing up and heading toward her closet. "Just let me get dolled up first."

I chuckled, standing up to find some shoes. "No problem, do your thing." I bent down, grabbing my sneakers and slipped them on. "Hey, maybe we can stop by that boutique and see if they're hiring while we're out."

"Great idea! Maybe we'll find you a dress there, too. They have some really cute clothes."

"As long as they're not too expensive." I went over to the loveseat we had and sat, waiting on Savannah as she applied her makeup in her floor length mirror. She looked over at me mid eyeliner and shook her head.

"No, they usually have some great deals. Maybe you'll find something dressy for your birthday too."

"Ooh, is that a hint for what my surprise is? Am I going somewhere where I will be in need of a dress?" I quirked my eyebrow, grinning at the blush that took over Savannah's face.

"Well, it's just...you know...you can never go wrong with having too many dresses. In fact, I have been told that a woman's best friend is the little black dress she owns. I mean, metaphorically, because it doesn't have to be black. It can be red, or white, or pink. Pink's a great color! My preferred choice obviously. But for you--"

Savannah trailed off, finally noticing my fist plastered to my lips in an effort to keep from laughing as I grinned in amusement. Her hands flew to her hips, and in a huff, she did her best to look intimidating.

"You know, I am not sure Marilyn Monroe would agree with you about the little black dress."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. You're not getting anything more out of me. But, hey, since we are back on that subject, are your parents coming down? I would love to meet them."

Even at twenty, the casual mention of my parents still caused an inner turmoil by reflex alone. It was in those split seconds before I regained my composure and plastered a fake smile on my face, that I felt the most alone, the most lost, and the most broken. Luckily, I had mastered the art of detachment and could easily slip back into the facade I put up on when the subject arose.

"No, they won't be able to make it. My mom and I have more of a... a distant relationship. She will probably just call, it's more her style." 

"Oh, okay. Well, what about your dad?"

"Considering he's missed the last twenty birthday's, I doubt birthday number twenty-one will be much different." I smirked with a light shrug.

"I had no idea. I'm sorry." Savannah took a step toward me, but I abruptly stood up, walking to my desk.

"Trust me, It's fine." I grabbed my purse, turning around with a smile. "So, you ready?"

"Yeah," she nervously laughed, "this is the best it's going to get. Let's go."

She turned, heading out of the dorm, and I followed, facade intact.

Poor Mads! I think the relationship that hurts the most when toxic, is the relationship between parent and child. If you deal with any type of toxic relationship, I wish nothing but peace and love for you. It took me a long time to accept it was not my fault, and that I am worthy. So are you!

Forgive me for the late update, I have been crazy busy prepping for upcoming school year as a first-year teacher! This chapter was a struggle for me to write for some reason, and I'm not 100% happy with it, but that's why this part of the writing process is so fun-- I get to hear your thoughts and gain ideas and inspiration through you, so when I go back to revise, my readers are a part of my work❤ 

There will be a regular update Friday, and I happen to really love the next chapter. I hope you do too!

Thanks for reading and for your support!