CHAPTER 6

Life wasn't getting any easier, in fact it was actually getting a hell lot worse.

"Chase!" I turned to look at my eight year old sister, Rosemary. "When am I going to see Addie?"

She pouted and I sighed loudly. "I miss her." I hated seeing her so upset but then again, Addison was 2656 miles away, what could I do?

"I know you miss her, I do too." I draped my arm over her shoulder and put the TV on mute.

"Is she going to visit?"

"Soon."

The truth was Addison and I hadn't spoken about visits. I doubt she could visit seen as she needed to get settled.

I wasn't surprised that Rosemary was asking me this. She was really close with Addison and she looked up to her. It was nice to see them getting along.

She nodded her head and I sighed in relief. I hated having to lie to her and I could see just how upset she was. I needed to act like I was strong and that this whole thing wasn't bothering me. At least that way, she wouldn't be that sad.

The doorbell rang and I got up to open it.

I answered it to see Joel. He walked straight inside my house but I wasn't shocked because he was practically always over. "What are you even doing here?""

"You know," he said simply. I narrowed my eyes at him as closed the door. "I just wanted to hang out with you, why is that so bad?"

"It isn't bad," I grumbled.

"Hi Joel," Rosemary said as she stood next to him and he smiled at her, patting her head.

"Hello there Mary."

"It's Rosemary," she corrected. She hated it when people shortened down the name, the only one she allowed to do that  was Addison and Addison called her Rosie. She didn't even let me shorten her name.

"Same thing," Joel replied and I smirked at the evil gale that he was receiving from her. She rolled her eyes and walked back into the living room to watch TV.

"Let's go upstairs," I said and he nodded his head as we walked up to my room.

It was Saturday and I was getting bored out of my mind. I didn't know what I would do if I had to watch another episode of Barbie with Rosemary. This was one of the many things she did with Addison and seen as Addison wasn't here anymore, she always made me do it.

"So how's it going?" Joel asked as he sat down on my sofa and I sighed loudly. "Chase come on man please don't get all depressed."

I sat up as I stared at him. I wasn't getting depressed. Depression was a massive issue and he didn't have the right or medical profession to diagnose me with it.

"Whatever Joel you are entitled to your own opinion."

"Only it isn't just my opinion is it?" I rolled my eyes at him but didn't say anything. "Addie wouldn't want to see you like this."

"What am I supposed to Joel? She's nearly three thousand mile away from me and this is literally the longest we have been apart." He sighed as he leaned back in his seat, biting his his lower lip.

"I know but it will get better. This is the hardest part." I stayed quiet and he continued. "I spoke to her." I raised my eyebrows at him wondering what he was talking about.

"What?"

"I spoke to her this morning."

I had been calling her but she had been blowing me off yet she had time to speak to other people? How the hell was that possible?

"Why did she talk to you? Did you call her?" Joel sighed as he shook his head. "Why can she have a conversation with you and not me?"

"She called me to ask how you were." I motioned for him to keep going and he did. "She didn't want you to lie to her and say that you were fine so she made me tell you how you were."

"What did you say?"

"I told her you were okay, you know, moving on-"

"You what?" I gasped loudly. "How could you tell her that? Now she's going to think I'm hooking up with other people!"

"Calm down I was trying to say that you were okay and-"

"You're such a jerk Joel!"

"Calm down all I was doing was looking out for you. I mean you would have said that no matter what I did. If I told her that you weren't fine and that you were getting depressed then you would have still called me a jerk. I was just doing what I thought was best."

"I know I'm sorry," I said quietly and he nodded his head. "How did she react when you told her what you did?"

He took a deep breath and I knew I wasn't going to like whatever he was about to say.  "Just say it."

"She was silent for a few minutes and I knew she was mad. Then she said okay, changed the subject briefly before hanging up and saying that she had to go and do something for her dad."

"She's pissed," I said quietly and he nodded his head in agreement. "Thanks a bunch."

"Don't," he warned and I groaned.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't have her mad at me."

"Just talk to her and tell her the truth."

I shook my head instantly because that was not an option. Every time I was upset, she got upset too and my mind instantly went back to one of those times.

"Chase what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I mumbled, avoiding Addison's stare stare. She had her arms folded tightly across her chest and she was standing in the middle of my room.

She walked over to me and crouched down, putting her hand on my legs. "Babe tell me what's up."

I grabbed her hands and pulled her up so she could sit on my legs. She wrapped her arms around my neck and said "tell me."

I didn't want to upset her so I was mentally debating on what to do.

"Seriously Chase tell me because you are scarring me now. I told you when we first started dating that I didn't want any secrets."

"I'm failing my classes," I mumbled and she sighed as she cupped both of my cheeks.

I felt embarrassed telling her this as she was one of the smartest students in the entire school and I didn't want people to think I was just dragging her down.

"That's not a big deal, I can tutor you," she said as she cupped my chin and placed a sweet kiss to my lips.

"You'd do that?"

"Of course I would," she replied as she leaned her had against mine and I sighed, holding her closer to me.  "I'd do anything for you," she said with a smile and I knew she was a catch.

"Chase!"

I looked at Joel and saw that he was mad that I had zoned out. "What?"

"I told you to call her," he said in an obvious tone.

His phone started ringing and he looked at it telling me it was Leticia before answering. I just secretly hoped that he didn't tell her where he was. The last thing I needed was her coming over.

My bedroom door opened and Rosemary walked inside. "What's up?" I asked.

"Oh nothing, this letter just came to you."

I looked at it and took it from her.

My name and address was handwritten and I could feel my eyes swelling when I saw the curly loops of writing which belonged to Addison.

"Did anything else come?" I asked curiously and she shook her head.

"Nope it was just that."

"Okay."

"I'm going to back and watch TV," she said before leaving my room.

Joel left my room and went downstairs, still on the phone and I sighed in relief because that gave me time and space to read this letter.

Dear Chase,

Letters are sort of old but I thought it was appropriate in our case.

I know that this long distance relationship is hard on both of us, but I love you and I'm not ready to give up on you. I hope you're not ready to give up on me but if you are then I won't blame you.

You're the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep.

I miss you so much Chase, I hate that I'm away from you and if I could change it then I would. I wish I could cuddle with you and wake up in your arms.

I know that the only way to make this work is to be honest with each other.

I'm sick and tired of saying I'm fine. I'm not fine without you. I don't know how I'm supposed to be fine without you and hate my dad for getting this job offer. I hate that I'm here and you are in Boston.

We've had so many experiences with one another. We've been dating for four years Chase and I'm not ready to let go. We have so many joyous moments that I'll never forget. We've overcome a lot of problems and learned from our previous mistakes.

I know that this isn't the end of us. We might not be with one another right now but this just makes the small moments that we do have together more meaningful.

I will treasure this relationship that we have built together and I hope you feel the same way I do.

I love you Chase, so much that it scares me sometimes. Our love is enough to get through this. Don't underestimate it.

P.S I miss you.

Lots of love, Addison xxx

I took a deep breath as I re read the letter.

I had no idea how many minutes had passed by. It was like time had frozen and this was the only thing that was important.

I could feel my eyes stinging and I knew that I needed to talk to her so I reached for my phone and dialed her familiar number.

My heart dropped when she answered.

"Hi." Her voice was so distant and I knew this was Joel's fault.

"Hey Addie," I replied.

"I spoke to Joel," she instantly said. She never kept secrets from me and she would always get straight to the point. She had the courage that most girls didn't have.

"He told me," I replied.

"If you're going to break up with me can you just do it quickly?"

"Baby I'm not going to break up with you, I love you."

"So?"

"Addie I promise you I'm not breaking up with you."

"But Joel said you moved on-"

"How could I move on when you're in San Francisco?" Addison sighed and I felt so annoyed at Joel for getting us into this mess.

"So you haven't moved on?"

"No I haven't Joel just said what he did because it's actually the opposite and he knew that I wouldn't appreciate him telling you that so he didn't. I feel so lost without you Addie," I confessed and she sighed.

"Why are you never honest with me Chase? How many times do I need to tell you to not hide your feelings? You need to be honest with me in order for this to work."

That was true.

"I know and I'm sorry. I just know that every time I get upset then you get upset too."

"Chase I'm already upset, nothing could make me even more upset. I hate this." I could feel the frustration in her voice, it was the same thing I was feeling.

"I know I hate it too," I replied and she sighed loudly.

"Why does this have to happen?"

"I don't know," I replied quietly. "I read your letter Addie."

"Did you like it?"

"I loved it," I answered and I heard her giggle on the other side. "I'm totally writing one back."

"Do you think this will be a regular thing?" She asked.

"What will?"

"Writing letters."

"It could be our own thing," I replied, "if you want it to be."

"That would be great." I knew she was smiling on their other end and I would give anything in the world to see it.

The door opened and Letitia walked inside. "Who are you talking to Chasey?" She asked and I clenched my jaw. She had started calling me Chasey. What sort of name was that? She knew how much I hated it but she kept on doing it.

"Are you there?"

I stopped my thoughts when I heard Addison's voice. "Yes I'm right here."

"So am I," Leticia said as she walked closer to me. She had been flirting with me this entire week. She had a massive smirk on her face as she swayed her hips and sat down next to me.

"Who is that?" Addison asked quietly.

Leticia took the phone off me and said "hello there, can you like hang up because I want to spend time with my Chasey wasey." I clenched my jaw as I snatched the phone off her.

"Addie-"

The line went dead before I could even explain.

I felt all the colour drain from my face as I realised what this would have looked like from her perspective.

I needed to fix it and luckily I knew just what to do.