CHAPTER 43

I knew what depression felt like.

Obviously I wasn't a doctor so I couldn't diagnose myself but all I knew was that this was how depression felt like.

I was outside Spencer's hospital room and watched her and Jade talk. "Jade I want to see Addie."

"She'll come when she's free," Jade replied. They were both sitting on the bed together and Spencer was in her arms.

"But she came to visit us though didn't she? So she should be free," Spencer pouted and I sighed, silently hating myself for putting that look on her face.

"I know Spence."

"What is she even doing? I need her here."

"Spence you have me," I said as I walked inside, getting both of their attention.

"Addison!" Spencer said as she opened her arms widely but I just sighed loudly.

"I'm not hugging you Spencer," I said and she raised her eyebrows at me.

"What? Why not?" She asked and sighed loudly. The look of hurt flashed across her face and I took a deep breath.

My phone vibrated and it was a text from Isabella reminding me that it was her birthday.

"Jade you can tell her, I'll be right back," I said looking at Jade before leaving the room.

I dialled Isabella's number and called it. "Hey Addie," she said and I sighed loudly. She sounded pretty happy but I knew she wasn't going to be any longer.

"Hey Bels," I said.

"Right what's wrong?" She said and I sighed loudly. I wasn't surprised that she knew what was wrong because she could read me like a book.

"I can't come to your birthday party," I replied and she sighed on the other end.

I was actually supposed to be performing a song for her party but I couldn't do that now.

"Are you being serious?" I could tell she was hurt and I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'm really sorry-"

"Why Ads? What else is so important?" She asked quietly.

"Bels I'm in Boston," I replied and she sighed loudly.

"Why the hell are you in Boston? How freaking long have you been there?"

"Not long."

"So you're really not coming?" I asked and she sighed loudly.

"No."

"Are you even coming back?" I scoffed at her question because I was feeling offended by her comment.

"Of course I am Isabella how the hell can you even ask me that?"

"Whatever Addison, do what you want," she mumbled and I rolled my eyes at her. Before I could even respond, she hung up on me.

I sighed loudly as I walked back into the room and Spencer said "was that Isabella?"

"Yep."

"Has she moved on?"

"What the hell do you care? The last time I checked you were with Kevin," I snapped and she sighed loudly.

"Addison," warned Jade but I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'm sorry," Spencer said as she looked at me and I raised my eyebrows at her. "Seriously I am so sorry about Chase and that bitch. I hate them both and it makes us sick to our stomachs. We don't condone what they did okay? I hate that they hurt you and I hate that we hurt you by not telling you but if we knew that you would be this upset then we would have told you within a heartbeat."

I sighed loudly as I wiped my tears and looked at Spencer and Jade. "I don't even know what to say," I replied.

"You can't ignore us Addie, we have been fighting your corner ever since we found out," Jade said and I sighed loudly.

"When did it happen?"

"Months ago," Spencer replied.

Jade got up and wiped my tears away as she wrapped her arms around me and I buried my face into her neck. "Why would they do this? Am I this bad of a person?"

"Shut up Addie, they're just selfish idiots who only care about themselves," Jade replied as she stroked my hair and kissed my cheek.

"Addison," Spencer said as she looked at me and I pulled away from Jade. "Come here," she replied and sighed. I walked over to her, and she pulled me in for a hug. "I can't believe they would do something like this to you," she said softly and I sighed.

"Enough about me, how are you feeling?"

"Numb."

"Spence," I said as I brushed her hair away from her face and she looked at me. "What were you doing in a car with Chase if you claim to hate him as much as you do?"

"I was walking home and it started raining so he offered me a ride home. I rejected it at first but he didn't give up so I accepted it," she replied as she shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay."

"You do believe me right?" She sighed as she looked dup at me and I sighed.

"Yes of course I do," I replied as ran my hands through her hair and she smiled at me.

"I love your new hair colour." I smiled and through these past few days, it was the first genuine smile that appeared on my face.

The door opened and Piper and Madison walked inside together.

"Ads," Piper said but I didn't say anything. I just looked down at Spencer who was having a silent conversation with me with her eyes, telling me to stay calm and not react.

"What do you guys want?" I asked rudely.

"We just wanted to see you," Piper replied and I rolled my eyes.

"Okay now that you have done that, you can leave."

"Why are you so angry?" Madison asked and I scoffed lousy.

"Why am I so angry?" I mocked. "Are you seriously asking me that? You're fucking my boyfriend and you have the guts to stand here, in front of me acting like everything is fine? How the hell do you even sleep at night? Oh I don't want to know because it's probably with that the dumb ass."

There was an awkward silence in the room and Madison sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"Shut up," I snapped rudely.

"I'm really sorry-"

"You're sorry? Oh that's fine then because Madison is sorry," I snapped.

Spencer sat up and laced her fingers with mine. "Ads they aren't worth it-"

"Why are you so mad at me?" Piper asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Because Piper, I was there for you when the same thing happened to you two years ago. You cried on my shoulder and I freaking held you in my arms. You should have known this would affect me but you didn't even tell me. You just rooted for them-"

"It wasn't like that," she insisted and I rolled my eyes at her.

"I really don't care. I don't want anything to do with the pair of you," I replied and she sighed loudly.

"You don't mean that," Piper said confidently and I just stared at her in disbelief.

"Yes I do Piper. You know I'm actually glad this happened because it has actually shown me who my real friends are."

Madison clenched her as she sighed loudly. "We're your best friends-"

"No Madison you were my best friend. You ruined that when you got into bed with Chase."

"Look I know you are hurting-"

"How do you know thatMadison?" I snapped.

"Let me finish, I know you are hurting but I love Chase and he loves me. You've always been for love-"

I rolled my eyes because I really did not want to listen to this.

"I'm not against love Madison. You could have waited till he at least broke up with me. I would've still spoken to you and kept you as a best friend. Now? I can't even look at you," I concluded and Madison had tears in her eyes.

"No you don't get to cry Madison. Do you have any idea how I felt when Chase didn't return my  calls or my texts? I was going out of my mind, crying myself to sleep," I snapped. She wiped her tears away and Piper wrapped her arms around her.

Silently I was glad that they had one another because I didn't want Madison to be on her own.

My phone started ringing and I looked at Madison. "Look Mads it's your boyfriend calling," I sarcastically said.

"Stop it," Madison snapped.

"Stop what?" I retorted.

I answered the call and put it on speaker.

"Hey babe," he said and I scoffed.

I saw Madison clench her jaw and sigh. "Can you come over to the hospital?" I said, changing my voice into my sweet one so he didn't think anything was Wong.

"Now?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Spence wants to see you and seen as you put her in hospital you should come and see her."

"I'll be there in five," he replied.

My mom texted me and told me to be at Adelyn's in an hour because she wanted to talk to me.

Five minutes later, Chase walked inside and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Hi Chase," I said and he looked around the room before realisation hit him.

And it him hard.