A/N: 

I'm back again with a new update. I wanted to share that I've been in just two kinds of creativity blocks and slumps right now, also I'm so busy IRL right now doing nothing (such a lame excuse) it's true. I even forgot about my anniversary on Wattpad when I posted this story because instead of dropping an update or a long cheesy post about the seven years of being here, I ranted about those that invaded a known writer's privacy by stalking them and making fun of their real face. (Mga ginagawa nyo d'yan! Bad yan.)

I'll do better next time. I keep telling myself this. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

TRACK 11: Failure

Nakita ni Dino ang kapatid ni K-Ci na paparating sa pwesto nya. As JoJo raised his head, he gave that familiar, anguish look at him na nagpaalala sa kanya sa nangyari noong bata siya.

"I... I thought that we... we are friends?" the familiar boy in the memory asked.

Kinaladkad na siya ng mama niya palayo. At nagsisigaw siya hanggang sa itulak na siya sa sasakyan nila.

He breathed harshly, napahawak sa sumisikip niyang dibdib, noong nakita niyang nakahandusay na rin sa sahig si JoJo. The opponent's brother came too late, gusto na niyang ituloy ang laban... but before he could make a call to continue the round and demand a rematch, his group was already proclaimed the winner. He can't turn back now.

Hindi niya gustong manalo sila. Wala siyang hiniling na ganito in the first place. But the tournament went as is, walang bayaran ang naganap. It felt uncomfortable for them. These guys knew there is something wrong going on behind the scenes.

Dino went out of the ring and was congratulated by Shazam, his only group member left. Along with some of Sisqo's bandmates. Niyakap siya ni Aliece, and she kissed him passionately.

"I knew you could do it, boy." She sucked his unresponsive lips again. "I'm so proud of you!" she moaned.

Dino put both of her hands down at binitiwan niya rin. He walked away from all of them, he said nothing to them, not even a single word. Pumasok siya kotse niyang naka-park sa harap ng venue. Ayaw niyang magpa-congratulate.

"I don't deserve this..." he mumbled, repeatedly, hitting his head on the steering wheel.

~

What am I doing here? What happened back there? Ano iyong gamot na 'yun? Sa isip-isip ni Devante. Nagising siya sa kwarto niya sa ospital.

"Good thing, you're awake," said Chilli, his girlfriend, right beside him.

"Na-nasaan si Dalvin?" tanong ni Devante.

"Hinihintay ka niya sa labas," she answered. "I'll call the nurse first." Pinindot niya ang buzzer.

"Thank you." Devante gave her a pained smile. But Chilli responded with a sad look on her face.

Before he could ask what was wrong, pumasok si Dalvin sa kwarto kasabay ang isang nurse.

"Bruh!" He jumped, crying joyfully, and hugged his brother. "Okay ka na ba?" he asked.

"Oo," sagot niya. "Masakit na lang ang ulo."

"Pwede ka na ba lumabas dito?"

Devante just laughed at him. He asked the nurse about what to do with him instead, since he's no help now.

"You need to observe your brother for twenty-four hours," the nurse instructed. "Saka lang siya iinom ng gamot if the whole day of rest is up. Kapag wala na siyang headache by then, there's no need for medicine." Dalvin thanked the nurse.

By that time, they're released. Nakauwi na sila sa unit nila sa record building. Doon na tuluyang nagpahinga si Devante.

Habang nagluluto si Dalvin ng kakainin nila, naririnig niya ang beats sa kwarto ng kuya niya.

"He's making music again," he whispered. He lowered the fire on the stove to check on his brother and he found Devante pacing back and forth.

"What are you doing, bruh? You were just making music a while ago!"

"Quiet, Dal!" he exclaimed. "May iniisip pa ako."

"Mahirap ba ang ginagawa mo?" he questioned again. "You know, you can always ask for help. Tsaka, hindi ba masakit ang ulo mo? It's been six hours now!"

"Go back to the kitchen, Dal, mamaya sasabay na ako sa'yo kumain," Devante dismissed. "I know where to get help naman."

"Bahala ka nga!" Dalvin grumbled at his brother before going back to the kitchen to see the fire building up from the pot!

Kinuha niya ang extinguisher para itutok sa apoy sabay pinihit niya. He broke a sweat, wiping it away, as he breathed nervously.

"Lagot kami kay Mr. Lee!" he groaned.

He dialed off the stove. At least his meat was safe.

~

"Do you believe in love...

And the promise that it gives?"

"Che-che!" The high school girl called. She has her headphones on at the store.

"Ano yun Julie?" she asked.

"Pakinggan mo itong kanta ng Jodeci!" kinikilig na sabi ni Julie. Naki-hati siya ng isang earphone kay Che-che.

"I wanna love you for life,

'cuz your love is why I live."

"Hindi ba sila rin ang kumanta ng 'feeling so'—uhm... 'horny'? Pinakinggan ng mama ko tapos nagalit siya sa'kin!"

Lumungkot ang mukha ni Che-che. "Hindi 'feeling so horny' yun, Freek'n—"

"Patugtog kaya tayo ng ibang group?" Julie suggested, shaking her head. "Ayaw ko sa Jodeci eh. Bastos kasi mga kanta nila."

"Hindi naman bastos itong 'Love U 4 Life' ah!" Che-che argued, raising her voice.

"Wala bang Dru Hill dito?" muni-muni ni Che-che. "Yan na lang kaya?"

They picked an album from a different group to play at the music store.

~

[Dalvin]

Bumahing ako habang pinapalamig ko ang lechong manok na niluto ko kanina sa oven. Wrong move talaga ako, dapat tumalikod ako! Nag-spray ako sa hangin, baka kasi kumalat ang germs ko.

Nakita kong lumabas sa kwarto niya si Dev. Inisip ko rin kung lalabas ba iyong si JoJo, but I shouldn't hope, may ginagawa pa siya sa kwarto ko.

"Oo nga pala!" Devante exclaimed out of nowhere. "Babayaran ko si Sisqo ngayong linggo."

"Babayaran? May utang ka sa kanya?" I asked.

"Oo, ang dami ko na nga utang sa kanya e, pupuntahan ko nga ang–"

Tinakpan ko na ang mga labi niya bago ako makarinig ng hindi maganda sa kapatid ko. He's fond of calling Sisqo that word! Bakit ba kasi bothered siya sa itsura ng kapitbahay namin?

"Sige na, punta ka na doon sa unit niya." I pushed Devante out of our room and closed the door.

Paglingon ko naman, I saw JoJo coming out of my room.

"Tapos ka na sa piano mo?" I asked. He and his brother bought a piano just last week, before the tournament.

I noticed na malagkit pa rin ang tingin niya sa'kin. Was it about yesterday?

"Saan nagpunta si Devante?" he inquired, without looking at me, sabay kumuha siya ng manok sa lamesa.

"Binayaran niya si Sisqo."

He hummed as a response, then he left for his room with the roast chicken and rice on his plate. Ako naman, naramdaman ko ang pagtunog ng tiyan ko kaya naisipan kong kumuha na rin ng rice. Pero iba ang nasa cravings ko.

Gusto ko ng burger...

"See you later, kalderong sunog!" Narinig kong sabi ni Devante kay Sisqo.

"Narinig ko yun Dev!!" sigaw pa ni Kyle.

Sabi ko na at tatawagin niyang ganun ang kapitbahay namin! Iniwan niyang nakabukas nang bahagya ang pintuan namin bago niyang saraduhin at humarap siya sa'kin. Sasabihin ko ba kay Dev?

Inaya ko na lang si Dev na kumain, ang sabi naman niya ayaw niya ng ulam na niluto ko. Okay, siya na yung choosy! Hindi ko na lang siya pipilitin kaya sasabihin ko pa lang ang cravings ko, bigla siyang nag-suggest na kumain na lang kami ng pizza! Hindi talaga ako makakahinga sa pamilyang ito.

"Sige na, puntahan mo si JoJo doon at tanungin mo sya kung ano gusto niyang flavor," utos ni Dev sa'kin.

"But I want burger!" He drowned it out with, "Ako na bahala magbayad."

Damn. Gusto ko pa naman ang quarter pounder ng McDo. Nakikita ko si JoJo na nagpapatugtog sa piano ng what sounded like a Paul Anka song.

I faked a cough and he turned to me.

"Mamaya na, Dalvin!" he hissed. "May ginagawa pa ako!"

Yumuko ako at lumabas sa kwarto niya pabalik sa sofa.

"Bakit ba ganyan kayo pareho ni Jo?" I asked Dev. "Ayaw niyo magpaistorbo! Malaking project ba ginagawa niyo?"

He just laughed at me. "Tara na sa Yellow Cab?" he invited.

Kanina pa ako binabagabag ng iniisip kong ito. I want to ask if he was okay, 'cuz yesterday... was devastating for the four of us!

"We have to move forward," Devante once said in his hospital bed. "Let's not think about it very much."

How will we not think about it much? We're at risk of getting disqualified this season, lalo na't may kumakalat sa Thug World ang issue sa'min na nagbayad daw kami nang malaki para daw umangat ang rank namin—that's basically what everybody except the Top 5 Thugs are doing! Wala na kami sa kwento nilang yun! Daig pa nila ang mga writer sa Wattpad sa pag-gawa nila ng kwento. Unbelievable.

Saya-saya lang ako dito pero deep inside, gusto ko nang manapak at magmura! Hindi rin uso sa'min ang mag-move forward.

That's it always been.

While I rode with Dev, parang pamilyar ang soundtrip ng dinaanan namin sa kalyeng ito, pinatutugtog nila mga kanta namin from our recent album kaya tumigil sandali yung kuya ko.

"You hear that?" he asked. "Parang Freek'n You."

Sabay tigil ng kanta! What's going on? Biglang "My Neck My Back" naman yung kanta. May narinig pang nagsabing bastos daw mga kanta namin. I hit Devante with my shoulder, at nakita kong maasim ang mukha niya. Affected nga siya!

"May mga hater na tayo!" sambit ko.

"Eh mas bastos pa nga yung sumunod nilang pinatugtog," he spat. Devante then drove again. Ayaw ko na lang tumingin sa bintana, so I put my earphones on and turned on my radio, habang nakapikit.

"Freak out and freak me up and down... (Devante Swing)"

Lumingon ako sa bruh ko tapos sinabi si kanyang, "Bruh! Tawag ka ni K-Ci!" Sabay tawa. Syempre, tinanggal ko muna ang isang earphone ko.

He laughed as well. "Ano ba kasi pinapakinggan mo?" Tumingin siya sa bintana sa kaliwa niya. Basement na pala ito. I realized he was listening to the same radio station as the one on my phone. We both went out. I thought we're going sa mismong Yellow Cab? Hindi ba may sariling building yun? Bakit sa mall pa kami pumunta?

~

"Naka-order na ako ng akin! Anong flavor yung sa inyo?"

Iniisip kong mag-Hawaiian style na lang ako, but would JoJo like it? I know him for his disgust towards pineapples on pizza. Alam kong, si Devante ang nag-order ng Garden Special at sabi pa niyang dadalhin niya yun sa ospital kapag bibisita kami kay K-Ci.

"Hawaiian na lang." I stretched my arms upward, sitting on one of the yellow-black chairs in this restaurant. Nakakaantok!

"Sandali, sandali." The cashier gestured Dev to wait. "Hindi ba ikaw yung sa Jodeci?"

My eyes turned wide. I went up and tugged Devante's sweater, senyales na dapat makaalis na tayo. And told him that he shouldn't answer any more questions.

"Of course not!" he fibbed. "How can I be Devante Swing? Eh, mas gwapo pa nga ako doon," biro pa niya sa kanya.

Maybe that's his way of running away from the potential haters that could throw tomatoes at us any time. Sumagot pa rin siya! Bahala na nga siya, malaki na siya e.

"My God! Patay na patay ako sa mga yun!" exclaimed the gay cashier. "Lalo na sa high notes ni JoJo? Yieee! Malalaglag ang panty ko sa kanya. Pakinggan mo kaya bagong album nila?"

He nodded at each other matapos kunin ni Devante ang dalawang box ng pizza. Binigyan niya ng tip ang kahera. Masarap siguro ang paguusap nila? We went home after a stressful ride. Hindi na nga kami makagalaw kanina dahil may aksidente sa intersection.

"Talaga? Nainggit ka kila Sisqo kasi nagpi-pizza silang magpinsan?"

"Oo." Then he shrugged. We both went out of the elevator and into our unit. "Pinagmamayabang pa niya sa'kin na nakuha niya ang sweldo niya e, ang tagal na since 30th."

"Gee, I wonder what work he has?" Kumuha ako ng isang slice ng Hawaiian at inilagay ko sa plato. I got one as well kung sakaling kumain din si JoJo. Kumatok ako sa pinto ko, but I heard him sobbing.

Ano na namang problema niya? Maybe I could help him get through whatever that was?

"Pizza?"

Nilapag ko sa sidetable ang isang plato, habang kinuha ko naman ang sa'kin. He just nodded at me, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

Kalalaking tao, umiiyak!

"Sige na, pupunta na ako dyan sa table nyo, may tinatapos lang ako." He buried his face on his pillow once again.

Ako naman, umupo na ako sa dining table namin. Kumuha ako ng isang pirasong manok na niluto ko kanina at nagbuhos ng Coke sa baso. Hinintay kong bumalik dito si Devante, who just reminded me na ipaapsa niya kay Mr. Chang ang proposal namin.

Oh, there he is! Kinumusta ko siya how it went submitting the proposal.

"Si Ma'am Judy lang naabutan ko doon." Naupo na siya sa upuan at kumuha siya ng isang plato. "I-email ko na lang daw muna sa kanya, sabi niya sa'kin," he stated, adding that Mr. Chang was out for a business trip this week.

I sighed, eating my food. "Aren't we going to clear our name back there?"

I know he won't! Alam ko na sasabihin niyan. Sasabihin niya na mag-move on na lang tayo at bahala na silang manira sa'min, tutal wala silang ginagawa kundi manira ng iba para sa gain nila.

"Maybe it's best if–"

Then, a miracle happened. Naputol ang sasabihin ni Dev noong nakita namin si JoJo na lumabas mula sa kwarto ko. Umupo siya sa pwesto katapat ko.

"Tapos ka na ba sa ginagawa mo?" I asked.

He scrubbed his eyes. Nakatulog yata ang isang 'to.

"Anong pinaguusapan ninyo?" tanong niya pabalik.

"Sagutin mo muna tanong ko kanina, Jo!" I demanded. He sighed.

"Nakatulog ako. Sorry." He hinted at a bit of sadness when he said that. Kumuha siya ng isang slice ng may gulay. Something is off.

"Really?" I inquired again, ignoring his last question. "What's wrong?" I followed up.

"W-wala, nothing's wrong" he denied, smiling at us. "Sige na, babalik na ako sa kwarto."

"Don't you want to stay here and chat, Jo?" tanong naman ni Dev.

He shook his head. "No, thanks Dev."

I watched him go back to my room. Then JoJo shut the door. Tumingin ako kay Dev.

"Did you notice it too, bruh?"

"Ang lungkot nga niya eh," he commented. "Was it really about yesterday?"

Sinasabi ko na nga ba! May tinatago si JoJo sa'min!

"Pupuntahan ko siya." With that, I went to my room to check on JoJo.

Then the things that happened at the tournament came back to me.

~

Yesterday...

Kakarating ko lang dito sa venue. There was no sign of Devante anywhere in the hallway, kaya dumiretso ako sa bleachers with the thought na nasa loob siya. At saka, may ibinilin siya sakin na bantayan ko ang H-Town at ang iba pang nasa Top 5 Thugs. Kaya siya nandoon para bantayin kami. At least, yun ang sabi niya sa'kin.

May five minute grace period ang mga sasabak sa laban, kaya dapat nakapasok na ako. Pero nagsisimula na ang laban. I saw Dino reloading his pistol while K-Ci had his hands in the air. Peste naman, K! Lumaban ka rin naman, o!?

K-Ci's stupidity in the ring was so unbearable to watch for me, kaya naisipan kong lumabas para hanapin muli si Dev, baka lumabas siya para bumili ng milk tea niya. Pero nakasalubong ko si JoJo na kakapasok lang.

Turning around, I saw him get shot by Dino. K-Ci began to bleed, and he fell to the floor. Umikot akong muli para sabihin ko sa kapatid niya ang masamang balita.

"Talo tayo..." sambit ko, umiiling-iling.

"P-pwede pa na man tayo sumalang, 'di ba?" JoJo spat out, voice shaking and on the verge of crying.

Lumunok ako. I can't believe na sasabihin ko ito sa kanya, soon after marinig ko na declared nang panalo ang H-Town.

"You know the rules, right?" Suminghap ako, sabay patuloy ko, "And so do I."

Nakita kong nanlilisik na ang mga mata, sumimangot siya sa'kin at nagdidikit na ang kilay niya. Sinugod ako ni JoJo at hinalughog niya ang mga balikat ko.

"BAKIT HINDI KA SUMALANG DOON?! NASAAN KA BA?!!" sigaw niya, habang naiiyak sa galit.

Naluha na rin ako. Ramdam ko ang galit niya at ang concern niya sa kuya niya... sa aming apat.

"Hi-hinahanap ko ka-kasi si De-Dev..." I stammered, biting my lip. "Pagdating ko rito... s-simula na yo-yong laban!"

After that, JoJo pushed me so hard, I landed my butt on the cold, hard floor. Hinayaan kong bumuhos ang mainit na likidong nanggagaling sa mga mata ko, sinusubukan kong hindi humikbi. Next thing I know, hinimatay ako sa isa sa mga upuan with JoJo calling his brother being the last thing I heard.

Grabe! Ayaw ko ng ganitong feeling. Parang sasama ang loob ko habang buhay...

"KUYAAAAAAA!!"