Noah

A choked sob reaches my ears as I break apart from her. My eyes must be playing tricks on me as I witness an unmistakable flash of red from the now, slightly ajar door of my office.

Hmmm funny. I don't remember leaving it like that.

Since when have you remembered anything like you used to after she stepped into your life?

Oh please. She didn't step into it. She tripped over those high heels she was obviously forced to wear and fell on my chair.

Riiiight. Tripped. More like you backed her up into it.

I did no such thing.

Keep telling yourself that while you 'save her life' again.

JUST SHUT UP BRAIN.

I feel slightly cold, petite hands clasping my own and I break out of my internal argument to look into her stoically flawless face.

She smiles at me. The ends of her mouth twisting up and small eyes crinkling to reveal a row of perfectly lined teeth.

I smile back. Not as enthusiastically. But then again, her smiles, despite being genuine, leave me with a nagging feeling in the back of my head that they actually aren't.

You must be talking about me. Aren't you?

No. Never in a million years.

But you can't deny the fact that there always seems to be a tinge of ice in that smile. It's too perfect.

That's a good thing. She has a perfect smile. It's supposed to be a good thing.

Is it? Is perfect always a good thing?

...

I'm shaken out of my reverie again, as cold, thin, soft lips press against my own and I return the kiss.

Always so cold.

She can't help the temperature of her body.

"Babe. How do you always manage to look so handsome?" She says in her perfectly melodious voice.

I grin back, but somehow it never reaches my eyes. "Well that's because I am."

I wink at her and she sighs with a lovestruck expression on her face.

Always the same reaction.

Her elegant fingers fiddle with the collar of my shirt as she says, "I'm sure people wouldn't mind if you left work early to spend some time with your girlfriend."

Why is it so hard for her to understand that a CEO can't do such things?

Besides, I love my work. I'm a workaholic. It's what keeps unwanted thoughts away and helps me stay grounded.

I sigh and let go of her hand, embracing the warmth that comes back as I say, "I know it must be hard. After we've not had time for each other for so long. But just a few more hours and then I'm yours okay?"

I smile and she lights up like a Christmas tree upon hearing my words.

She takes me by surprise and hugs me.

Not tightly. Never tightly. Just gently and gracefully. If one could be graceful when they perform the act of hugging. Because that's kind of what it feels like. An act. A perfect act.

She breaks apart from me suddenly as I hear someone clear their throat.

I whip my head in the direction and see Alex standing there with a slightly put-out expression on his face, but it morphs into a playful one once he catches sight of her.

I can see right through it Byun.

"Hey! Get back to work! Haha just kidding. I'm sorry to interrupt your quality couple time, but I would like to have a few words with your boyfriend. That is, if you don't mind."

He smiles in a charming way and winks at her, but strangely, I don't feel any sort of possessiveness overtake me as it had before with a certain redhead.

She just giggles. Managing to still look like a professional and sophisticated woman with her long brown hair in a high ponytail, black pencil skirt and black stilettos coupled with a beige blouse.

Beige, although looking perfect on her, doesn't seem to suit her.

I can think of someone else who suits beige beautifully. Not perfectly. But beautifully. Just like she had, today.

No. She doesn't suit it okay? Okay.

"Sure Alex. But don't think I'll let you steal him away from me for too long." She smiles cheerfully.

It still feels weird.

He smiles back and says, "I would never."

She then turns to me and smiles her perfect smile and waves her perfect hand and walks out of my office with her perfect gait, perfect heels clacking on the floor in perfect rhythm as she goes.

So very perfect.

I raise my eyebrows at Alex questioningly.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

His anger is clearly written on his face as he says, "Oh quit that 'I'm an icy businessman who doesn't give a shit' act and actually talk to me like a real person for once. I'm your best friend not some random stranger."

Unsure of where this sudden rage had come from, I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.

Why am I nervous?

"Alex is this what you wanted to talk about? Because we've had this conversation loads of times and... I try my best you know?" I say calmly.

His expression softens when he says, "Well try harder Noah. I miss you. The old you."

I miss the old me as well.

"I'm right here Alex. You don't need to miss me... Bro." I add in for good measure.

At that he grins and says teasingly, "Bro? Really? Trying to bribe me with words of brotherhood? And I thought CEO Lee was better than that."

I smile widely and say with over exaggerated drama, "Well I don't believe in corruption, unless it's of the fraternal kind."

We stare at each other in the silence for some time until...

we both burst into impromptu peals of laughter.

He wipes the tears from his eyes and says, "Stop it Lee. I came to talk about a serious matter and here we are, laughing like a bunch of fifth graders."

"You started it." I accuse lightly, a smirk hanging off my lips.

He smirks back and says, "Whatever."

And in these moments, a piece of the old me comes back.

He's still buried in there somewhere. Why else do you have a voice in your head?

An incredibly annoying voice.

An incredibly annoying voice that's always right.

"So what do you want to talk about?", I ask, repeating my previous question.

"June. The intern. Or should I say 'your intern'."

"What about her?" I inquire as my eyebrows scrunch up in confusion.

"I saw her right now." Then he pauses for a second and his voice becomes so soft, even my huge ears have to strain to hear the words he's saying next.

"She was running away from your office with tears in her eyes and sobs wracking her body."

His voice turns menacing as he yells, "What did you say to her?! Huh? I know she's not perfect, but can't you go easy on her? Can't you for once, see that everything doesn't have to always be fucking perfect?!"

That hits straight home and judging by the look on his face, he knows it too.

So that's what, or should I say who, that flash of red was.

I sigh and say with a perplexed expression on my face, "Look Alex, I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't seen June since the 'choking incident'. You have it all wrong. She was probably crying about something else. Something that doesn't concern me one bit. It's not my fault."

Upon hearing this, Alex calms down a tad and adopts a thoughtful expression. A second ticks by after which he supposedly has an epiphany and he says bemusedly,

"Actually, you're wrong. It did concern you. But yes, you're right. It's not your fault."

He then says in a much lighter tone, "Hey! Would you look at that? It's an oxymoron." He grins widely, apparently pleased with his revelation.

I roll my eyes.

Meet Alex Byun. Concerned about you one second, absolutely livid the next, and then completely idiotic after that. All in a span of less than fifteen minutes.

But you have to admit, you do love your oxymorons.

Yes I do. And I don't why, but the first one my brain can come up with is genius moron.

Sounds kinda familiar. Don't you think?

~ ~ ~

click click

I continue to clutch the car keys in my right hand as my left hand is occupied by her loose and chilly grasp. Her thin, soft, nimble fingers leaving slight gaps between my long, calloused huge ones as we walk towards the general direction of my Audi.

Her palms are never sweaty. Nails perfectly manicured in accordance to the hottest trends, which, judging by the hot pink backdrop and lime green designs that could be seen from miles away, is neon at the moment.

I wonder if they glow in the dark. That would be so cool.

You see, that's something the old Noah would say. Immature as ever. But I've grown and improved since those days.

Improved he says. Please spare me the bullshit.

I catch myself before I roll my eyes. Wouldn't want her thinking I've gone crazy now would we?

Being the gentleman I am, I open the door for the passenger's side and make sure she's seated comfortably before I make my way to the driver's end.

And then before you could say, 'my shiny black Audi is a chick magnet' we're making our way to my apartment, driving on the highway with the setting sun casting colourful shadows on both of our pale visages.

We travel in silence for some time when suddenly I feel a chilly touch on my thigh.

I shiver slightly, in the wrong way, and turn my head to look at her.

One would think seeing your gorgeous girlfriend bathed in the reddish-purple hues of the sunset would be the most aesthetic sight one could see.

But you're wrong.

She looked like a painting. A perfect one. Brush strokes that told of a picture in the most realistic way. Copied as it was in reality without a hint of imagination, creativity or passion and leaving the viewer with a feeling of emptiness.

Empty. That's the word I'm looking for. That's how I feel. Like something's missing in this relationship.

Realising what would happen if I continued to ponder these thoughts, I push them to the dark recesses in the back of my mind where the rest of my doubts hide as I continue my existence in blissful ignorance of them.

I tear my eyes off of her and return to gaze at the road and only nod my head slightly in acknowledgement.

Don't wanna crash now, do we? That would be bad.

You're stuck in a traffic jam, idiot. The chances of you crashing are pretty slim unless your car is secretly a Transformer that wants to assassinate it's passengers. And if so, you'd already be dead.

Sometimes my brain is just so helpful. Note that I say this with the highest amount of sarcasm attached.

Her sickly sweet voice permeates my pensiveness as she says, "Noah babe, are you okay? You seem a bit preoccupied. You know I'm here if you want to talk, right?"

See? She cares about me. Who could ask for more?

Oh yeah. A girlfriend who cares about you. Pretty sure no one else has ever had a caring girlfriend before you. Better record you two in the history books of romance. Couple goals right here everybody.

I need to find a therapist.

I smile slightly as I reply, stroking her hand for a millisecond, with a feather light touch so as to not disturb the porcelain-like perfect skin that looks quite untouchable and pure.

"Yeah sweetheart. Everything's absolutely fine. It's just... that hacker's intentions just have me on edge at the moment."

That wasn't an entire lie.

"But I feel better now that you're here. You make me happy. Thanks for that, doll."

Now that's the truth. Right? It is. Yes. It is.

She grimaces, "Noah, I thought I told you to stop calling me that. I know I look like a doll to you, and I don't mind the compliment, but I'm not comfortable with you calling me that on a regular basis. And I've always hated your silly pet names for me anyway."

Ouch. This is one of the reasons why the old Noah finds it so difficult to resurface.

No. She's right. She's told me before. I forgot. I should've remembered. It's my fault.

"Sorry sweetheart. I just kinda forgot for a second."

She flashes me her perfect smile and finally retracts her icy fingers as heat returns to my thighs.

"It's okay." Her fingers graze my cheek for a moment, bringing with it, a chill. "God I've really missed you." She says longingly.

I refrain from rolling my eyes. Is this all that she wanted to say?

"I know. I've missed you too. I'm really glad you're here. How long are you staying by the way?"

"Your voice is so deep I love it. And um... probably a year, but I'll be frequenting other locations in the country as well so I may not always be living in Paris."

Oh. Well then.

Thank God. We don't have to continually deal with her.

"But I'm mainly based here, since it is the legendary city of lights and love. And I'll visit you as often as possible."

"That's great."

No you don't need to visit as often as possible. You're a busy woman. Surely.

Shut up.

She then looks at me coyly as she twirls a strand of her perfect brown hair between her fingers and says,

"Who knows? Maybe we could find some love in the process as well." And looks at me suggestively.

I should be blushing, but I don't. Maybe because I'm used to this. Yes. That must be it.

"Uhhhh... Yeah sure. Whatever you say", I answer uneasily.

And I thank the gods that the traffic has finally diminished and I could focus on the way home instead of the way this conversation was heading.

She huffs haughtily. Supposedly offended. But honestly, at this point, I couldn't care less.

The silence, however uncomfortable, was a welcome alternative to our previous interaction.

~ ~ ~

After unlocking the door, I help bring in her luggage, which just happens to be three huge ass Louis Vitton suitcases carrying God knows what.

To be frank, if she's staying for a year she can buy most of what she needs here. Quite a lousy packer, despite her profession requiring her to do so regularly.

Just stop with the criticism and give her more credit already.

"Awww thanks babe! Those are some heavy suitcases and I didn't think I'd be able to handle them myself. But you're so strong." She bats her perfect eyelashes and smiles brightly at me as she strokes my bicep through my suit jacket.

"No problem." I smile back. Then I run my hands through my hair messing it up once again, but I don't really care anymore.

How many times have I done that today?

"Ummm... I was wondering if I could go take a shower, relieve some stress. Today's been quite an eventful day and I really need some time for myself."

She looks at me with a hint of something I can't quite place as she says, "Yeah sure Noah. Take all the time you need. I know my way around this place anyway."

I smile and for once it feels real, "Thanks for understanding. I'll make din-"

"Don't you dare. I'll be making the dinner tonight and if you don't like it, well that's the door." She says as she points one elegantly manicured fingernail in that direction and places her other hand on her perfect hips.

I raise my eyebrows and smirk, "You do realise this is my house right?"

She smirks back and says as she comes closer, "You do realise I could still kick you out right?" And closes the gap between us.

It's a chaste kiss. Nothing too intense. But hey, I still feel tingles so that should mean something right?

Maybe we can still save this sinking relationship. Just maybe.

But maybe is a dangerous word. It can have different meanings for different people. It instills hope in some, and destroys it for others.

I smile at her briefly and she reflects it back before I retire to my bedroom.

I loosen my tie, get out of my suit and make sure it's properly placed in the armoire before I remove the remainder of my clothing and head to the attached bathroom.

Mind you, by bathroom, I mean bathhouse. One fit for a king.

At times I find it too extravagant. I'm a businessman after all, and a programmer first, so I believe in simplicity, minimalism, elegance and getting things done in the quickest way possible.

But sometimes you need to take those long hot showers and feel like the king of your castle. Sometimes you need to feel a little surreal and out of place to get your thoughts under control and today's just one of those days.

The hot water cascades in ripples over my body as the tension slowly evaporates away from my shoulders and back in the form of steam fogging up the glass.

I sigh in relief, finally letting go of all my uptight emotions. The serene environment persuading me to close my eyes and before I know it, I find myself thinking back to the prior events of the day.

~ ~ ~

It was just after the 'choking incident'. Yes quotes necessary. Alex had left, after much convincing and embarrassment, and I sat back down in my modern yet deceivingly comfy swivel chair and proceeded to strengthen the Firewall of the Ubisoft Network.

My glasses perch precariously on the tip of my nose as I continue to type in line after line of complex code, that by this point, just feels like typing in English or Korean.

I've gotten rid of those huge, ugly, nerdy glasses that I used while I programmed and replaced them with sleek, frameless, rectangular spectacles.

According to my girlfriend, they make me look sexier. So I guess that's a bonus point. wink

Note to self: DON'T. EVER. WINK. EVER.

But a part of me misses those dorky things. I guess that's why I can't find it in myself to actually throw them away.

Hours pass by unnoticed as I lose myself to the syntax and before I know it, my enhanced Firewall is complete and ready to defend my precious.

I mean-

Nerd.

Whatever.

A gentle knock disturbs the comforting silence of my office.

"Come in." I say expecting my secretary to hand me another stack of paperwork to fill out.

Instead, I see my flawless girlfriend, dressed immaculately as always, sporting the biggest smile I've ever seen on her.

But that's not what takes me aback. It's the fact that she's suppose to be in Seoul right now, prepping for her next project, but she's here. In my office. Smiling at me.

I stand up and look at her, speechless.

She closes the door, without locking it and says, "SURPRISE!"

I'm still at a loss for words.

"Wow. Cat got your tongue babe? It's me. Yuri! You know, your super beautiful and perfect girlfriend who flew all the way to Paris to surprise you 'cause she misses you so much? Yup, that's me!" She says in a disconcertingly cheerful tone.

Say something Lee. You probably look like June the first time she saw you.

No, I would never look that adora- idiotic.

I quickly compose myself.

"Hello Yuri! What are you doing here? Don't you have places to be, things to do? Time is of the essence my dear." I say calmly once I got over the initial shock.

She pouts as she whines, "I am here for work! France is the destination for this season." She strides over to me with perfect balance as she flips her perfect hair over her shoulder.

Yuri Sohn. Perfection personified. My gorgeous girlfriend. Looks like a supermodel with her shiny, super straight brown hair, snuff brown eyes, porcelain pale skin and lips that almost always have a thick coating of baby pink lip gloss.

Super famous travel blogger and now the host of her own travel show called "Yurilly Need To Getaway".

Yes it's major facepalm worthy. I know.

You're the one who came up with it.

Well that was the old me.

She was still just a really popular tumblr account when I first met her. Back then, I found her dream to become a famous travel blogger so fascinating and I ended up falling for the sparkle of passion that lit up her eyes everytime she talked about it.

Maybe it's because mine mirrored them whenever I talked about video games.

But that was three years ago and fame has done good and bad things for the both of us. There are pros and cons.

We got together almost 2 years ago. When I was 19 and finally found the courage to ask her out.

You were so horrible when it came to romance. Still are.

She helped me get used to my newfound fame and responsibility being thrust upon my shoulders. She taught me how to face the public, the press. How to ignore the haters. How to turn a blind eye to any fangirls and a deaf ear to any rumours about me.

She's helped me become who I am now as a person. Not entirely though. Most of it was me and the changes I chose to make.

The scary thing is, I kinda regret those choices now. But there's no going back. The line has been crossed. And there's nothing I can do.

One fine day, her blog gets noticed by a TV station and then before I know it, my supportive girlfriend's being whisked away to exotic destinations for segments of her new show.

I used to watch every episode, but then the CEO status came along and I found myself drifting away like the raft on the Caribbean Sea in her Bahamas segment.

She was always perfect after that. Whether on TV or in real life. She always knew what to do. Everything was perfectly planned for her. It had to be.

So I tried to be like her. And I guess it worked. I'm now just as serious and professional, if not more.

But violating copyrights almost always leads to consequences.

And here I am. Living mine.

My job is my life. And if people say I'm icy, cold and emotionless. They're right because that's who I am.

People think being me must be the best thing in the world. Perfect house. Perfect job. Perfect girlfriend. Perfect life. But they don't know the big picture.

That I'm not perfect.

But she is. She is. Her fame made her perfect. But I never fell for the perfect, travel show host Ms. Sohn.

I fell for the Yuri that used to steal my glasses right before I had to sneak out of her room so I would stay longer. The Yuri that made me mushy overcooked pasta because she was learning how to cook for me. The Yuri that never had to try to make me smile or laugh. The Yuri in front of who, I could be myself.

But I guess it's not her fault that this is me now. How unfortunate.

I was never a perfectionist back then. At least not when it came to love. I loved people with flaws; with imperfections.

But now my expectations have risen too high and Yuri seems to be at the pinnacle of them so I refuse to look down.

Isn't that supposed to make Yuri my soulmate?

Aren't we supposed to be perfect for each other?

~ ~ ~

"Noah? Babe? Dinner's ready! I made fusilli. With a super cheesy bechamel. Just the way you like it!" Yuri calls out, voice slightly muffled.

"Hmmm", I hum as I stir from my unplanned shower slumber.

"Don't tell me that you fell asleep in the shower?" She says with a hint of concern. "You work too hard for your own good."

"I'll be out in a minute sweetheart", I say groggily, my deep voice thick with the remnants of sleep.

"Okay babe. I'll wait for you." She says and then I'm met with the quiet indicating her departure.

I turn off the now, lukewarm water and exit my bathroom; quickly drying myself and wearing a button-up baby blue shirt and navy trousers; just because today's a special occasion.

And that's something a perfect boyfriend would do, right?

I seat myself at the dining table across from Yuri as she smiles at me briefly and am met with a mouth-watering plate of saucy pasta.

Perfectly cooked. Great.

She pays no mind to me as she swipes through her rose gold iPhone 6s I got for her 21st birthday.

I find myself missing her chatter as I'm once again pulled back into the hurricane of thoughts raging through my head.

Haunting me constantly.

You know the facts yet you refuse to accept them and instead hide behind the curtains of denial and delusion.

You need to keep reassuring yourself. You keep telling yourself that you're fine. But guess what, you're not. She may be perfect, but you are most definitely not.

You're a flawed perfectionist.

And you always will be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: points finger at Yuri It's her fault, not mine! Just kidding. I'm so sorry for keeping you guys waiting for so long. I've just been super busy with homework and exams and all that jazz. It's been almost three weeks and I owe you. So I really hope you like this chapter.

Now we finally get to know what goes in the mind of Noah Lee. Is it just me or do you get a feeling of deja vu reading those internal arguments? For such an emotionless character, he has quite the alter ego.

What do you guys think of the perfect Yuri Sohn? Played by the lovely Kim Taeyeon. The latest addition to the Oxymorons cast and Noah's girlfriend. I personally have mixed feelings. Comment your opinions. I really want to know.

Looking to loose some weight, here's the solution. Do a sit up every time you read the word perfect in this chapter. I guarantee you'll have rock hard abs and a flat stomach in no time. I'm such a generous author. Haha kidding.

As you can see, the cover's been updated. I miss the old one, but I feel like this suits the story more 'cause it has June and a cute little gaming console on it. Same font for the title though ;)

Who is this old me Noah keeps talking about? Well the story's just starting my dear readers. So I guess I'll just leave you in the dust on that one for now.

And now slightly off topic, EXO has come back! And I honestly can't stop spontaneously combusting every time I see them. Chanyeol is killing me. And as usual, they slayed the charts. If you haven't heard Lucky One and Monster yet. Do so immediately.

My author's notes are getting too long. Sorry for that. I just have so much to say to you guys.

Vote, comment, add it to your reading list, library etc. You can also follow me if you want :)

Whether you follow me or not, I love you for just reading this <3