when tyler regained complete consciousness he was able to detect the feeling of strong arms wrapping around his waist, his own body pressed against another. he was getting rocked back and forth as a hand ran through his damp hair and the person holding him whispered encouraging words into his brown locks.

he peeled his eyes open and looked at the source of the comfort, gaze meeting with josh's as he noticed brendon worriedly pacing back and forth behind them. tyler lazily smiled at josh, the yellow haired boy lighting up as he reached back and smacked brendon to get his attention.

"tyler, thank god you're awake!" brendon exclaimed, kneeling down so he was face to face with tyler.

"thank you," tyler said, noticing that his tubes were once again in his nose. he propped himself up and crawled off of josh's lap, seeing that they were back at brendon's car, sitting on the hood of the jeep.

"you fuckin' scared us," josh chuckled. "don't ever do that again. we didn't know how to help you."

"josh, don't be so harsh," brendon snapped, soothing a hand down tyler's back. "we were just worried. always tell us if you're not comfortable with doing something."

tyler solemnly nodded, feeling guilty at the distress he caused his friends. he felt pathetic, knowing that he did this to himself and that it could've easily been avoided.

"i want to understand what cystic fibrosis is. we want to help you tyler, please let us do that. you can't avoid the fact that you have it, so let us help you accept it," josh pleaded and tyler couldn't help the fluttering in his heart at the words.

"okay, get comfy."

tyler and josh sat on the hood of the car, brendon sitting on the roof as he looked down at his friends.

"i've always had cystic fibrosis, i was diagnosed with it when i was nine months old. my lungs clog up with mucus which leads to lung infections and eventually respiratory failure. my pancreas gets clogged up as well and it makes it more difficult for my body to process food and stuff, which is why i'm so tiny for my age.

"the way each person's body handles having cystic fibrosis differs from person to person and for some people it effects their lives more than others. the average lifespan for someone who has C.F. is around fourty now, which is great. i'm not so lucky, though."

tyler gulped and bit back tears as he spoke his next words. "the doctors gave me eight more years. i'm not supposed to live past twenty six."

the silence that surrounded the three boys was unbearable, unspoken words floating through the thick air around them.

"don't feel bad for me, the doctors told me when i was thirteen and i've been trying to live my life to its fullest since then. i just want to be a normal teenager and sometimes my desire to be normal becomes too much and i end up making stupid decisions, as you guys witnessed. i know my own limits and i shouldn't have done that, it was selfish of me, but i didn't want you guys to see me any differently."

brendon said nothing as he joined the two other boys on the hood, engulfing them in a large group hug. the action spoke louder than any words brendon could have said, letting tyler know that he wasn't alone.

"i would say that we don't see you any differently, but i'd be lying. you're special, tyler. i can't stand most people our age, but i love spending time with you. that's what sets you apart from other people, not your cystic fibrosis. that's just another thing that makes you, you and it's just another thing that makes you that much cooler than everyone else." brendon sounded so sincere and tyler had never felt that way before. his stomach tossed and turned, but in a pleasant way, and his heart increased its speed.

"we haven't known you for very long but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to be able to see that you're a keeper," josh chuckled, his hand squeezing around tyler's bicep as a form of reassurance.

"i'm so grateful for you guys," tyler whispered, feeling himself choke up from all of the overwhelming feelings that swarmed his mind. he felt invincible, like he could do anything, and his normal insecurities slipped away from him.

"so what are your hopes and aspirations?" josh asked in a faux posh voice, making tyler giggle.

"ever since i was a little kid i've always wanted to become a baker," tyler divulged, watching his friends beam in amusement. "i want to get married and have a family but i'm not going to do that to somebody. i don't want to break someone's heart like that."

"i don't mean to sound ignorant, i just want to understand more, but is there really nothing that the doctors can do for you?"

"i could get a lung transplant but that's a whole other issue within itself. i have to get myself approved for the transplant list, but i'll be put on the way bottom unless i pay an unreasonable amount of money to get my name raised. even if i'm the top person on the list the they may not be able to find a good match for me. if they do get a match i'll have to pay even more to get the surgery, and the chance that my body will reject the lungs is really high so what's the point in wasting money on something that could end up shortening my life instead of elongating it?"

"but what about that small chance that your body does accept the lungs with ease? you'll be able to become a baker and get married and have a family," josh pointed out. "isn't the risk worth it?"

"i don't want to talk about this anymore," tyler mumbled and brendon and josh immediately backed off, giving tyler space.

"i'm sorry," josh apologized.

"it's fine. can we go get something to eat? i'm really hungry."

🌫

brendon drove them to the small diner that he and josh always went to, excited for tyler to try their favorite restaurant. they got seated in a small booth, tyler sitting on his own side as brendon and josh sat across from him. it was a cute little diner; everything falling into the pastel color pallet with lots of pinks, blues, yellows, and green, 80's music sounding throughout the space. tyler found it very aesthetically pleasing and he was content with the current situation.

"what are you gonna order?" josh asked, fingers tapping along to the beat of 'china girl' by david bowie.

"what do you recommend?" tyler skimmed through the menu, the multitude of choices making him overwhelmed.

"they have bomb-ass pancakes," josh said, smiling to the waitress that approached the table.

"what can i get for you boys today?" her gaze immediately snapped to josh, eyes transfixed on him. he shifted uncomfortably at the realization.

"i'll have a mountain dew to drink and a burger." josh slid his menu forwards and the girl took it, turning towards brendon.

"i'll have a coke and the waffles with strawberries and whipped cream."

when her attention switched to tyler he physically shrunk in his seat, not liking the glare he was getting.

"i'll just have apple juice and pancakes." he forced a closed lip grin and she nodded and jotted his order down, retreating to the kitchen. josh heaved out a large breath and stared at his friends with wide eyes.

"that was uncomfortable," he said, outwardly cringing at the memory. tyler giggled and brendon mumbled an agreement.

"you would think you'd be used to all the attention you get by now," brendon teased, poking josh's shoulder playfully as the yellow haired boy flinched away.

"it depends on the type of attention. if it's attention from an attractive person i will bask in it and enjoy every moment, but if it's from someone who i'm not interested in i hate it. like when the li'l cutie across from us gives me attention i love it."

tyler flushed pink as josh winked at him, his stomach fluttering at the comment. brendon, on the other hand, visibly deflated and slumped forward, a slight pout tugging his lips down. tyler felt bad for brendon and even though he felt great after hearing that he wished it hadn't been said, especially in front of the raven haired boy. josh knew brendon liked him, and tyler didn't want to be the one to get in the middle of their friendship.

the tension was so thick that it was almost tangible, thankfully being interrupted by the food that eventually was brought out to the table. the silence continued until tyler broke it, not liking the way brendon wouldn't even look at anything besides his waffles.

"you were right, these are really good pancakes," he commented, still not getting brendon's attention.

"brendon makes better pancakes, though. you'll have to have him make them for you sometime." josh nudged brendon with his shoulder, unsuccessfully trying to cheer his friend up. "what's wrong, b?"

"so now i get your attention over 'the li'l cutie across from us'," brendon snapped, face softening once the words left his mouth. "fuck, i didn't mean it. i'm a fuckin' dick, i'm so sorry tyler. fuck, i just got jealous, i didn't mean it."

"it's okay, bren. you don't need to be jealous, you're a babe. i love you, you should know that!"

brendon nodded and mumbled a small 'i love you' back, a goofy smile on his face as he finally made eye contact with josh and tyler.

everything was back to normal after that, minus the times brendon stumbled over his words or the lingering butterflies in tyler's stomach. they threw bits of food at each other and fooled around, laughing whenever bits of the food would land in someone's hair. they ended up getting the meal for free, the waitress who had taken a liking to josh telling them it was on the house as she handed josh her number. as soon as they left the diner josh crumpled up the piece of paper and tossed it into a trash can, bowing as tyler and brendon applauded him.

despite tyler nearly dying and brendon's outburst it was the most fun they had had in a while and they all parted ways with huge smiles and fond thoughts of one another floating through their minds.

•••

this chapter was messy soz
-carina