I'd been expecting Emmy to meet me in Boston, but when I walked into the arrivals area at Logan International Airport, I found Bradley flanked by two huge men. One with blonde hair and one with brown, both humourless and silent.

"How was your flight?" Bradley held his arms out for Hisashi, but his smile seemed forced, his manner subdued.

"What's wrong? Where's Emmy?"

During numerous phone calls in the last week, she'd given me the confidence I could make this move, and now she wasn't here?

"There was a small incident at the airport, and she had to stay behind."

"What incident? Is she coming later?"

He waved his free hand as Hisashi reached for the diamond earring he seemed so fond of.

"Nothing you need to worry about, but I'm afraid it's just you and me, doll. And this little one, of course."

Bradley ducked his head to the side as I unpeeled Hisashi's fingers from his earlobe. His words made light of the situation, but his demeanour told me it was more serious than he let on. A chill ran through me as I remembered Hisashi's father's last words: "Don't worry, querida. Soon it will just be you and me."

Only it wasn't. He left, and he never came back.

I wanted to ask more questions, but Bradley was already marching ahead towards the exit. I hurried to catch up as the brown-haired man grabbed my suitcase.

"Where are we staying?" I asked Bradley, ducking my head to climb into a waiting SUV. I'd lined up apartments to view, but Emmy said she'd sort out a hotel room for me until I found somewhere.

"The Four Seasons. I've booked a suite with a couple of bedrooms."

"Thank you."

When we walked into the lobby, half of the people there turned to stare at our strange little group. A Japanese girl and a baby, a guy in pale purple skinny jeans and a Banksy-print T-shirt, plus two suit-clad bodyguards—I could hardly blame the curious onlookers, but that didn't make their stares any easier to take. Hisashi chewed on his fingers then shrieked, and everyone else swivelled in our direction as well. I tried my best to settle my son, but at thirteen months old, he didn't appreciate five-star luxury.

I kept my eyes cast downwards as Bradley marched to the desk and checked us in, only looking up when we went into the penthouse. The two bodyguards took up residence on the couch while Bradley followed me into my bedroom.

"You okay?" he asked. "You've been even quieter than usual. I thought you'd be excited."

I perched on the edge of the bed and shrugged. "Try terrified."

"Why?"

I'd never attempted to put the fear into words before. "It's all so new. I've never had to look for a home before, or interview someone, or live alone. Well, I'll have Hisashi, but you know what I mean."

If anything, having a child with me made things worse. I had to be responsible for a whole other human being when I barely felt capable of looking after myself. In an attempt to stop myself from panicking, I'd spent the last week trying to be practical. Whenever I wasn't practising, I'd trawled through property rental websites and registered with a nanny agency. After Emmy background-checked the candidates for me, I was left with three possibles.

"You won't be on your own," Bradley said. "I'm here to start with, and you'll have a team of bodyguards if you need help."

"That's another problem. How can I act normal with that pair following me around?" I nodded towards the living room where RoboCop and Terminator sat side-by-side, glowering.

"I see your point. They are kind of big. I'll get them swapped out for different ones."

"I didn't mean them specifically. I meant having any two men at my heels. It was the same in Japan. It drew everyone's attention." At first, having bodyguards had given me a sense of security, but as the months wore on, their constant presence made me feel on edge. I'd planned to speak to Emmy about it, but now she wasn't here. "I want this to be a new start, one where I can forget my past, and I can't do that with a pair of goons next to me. Can't you ask them to leave?"

Bradley's look of horror told me what he thought of that suggestion. "Not my decision, I'm afraid."

"Then I'll have to ask Emmy."

"She's not contactable right now. Maybe in a day or two." He opened the minibar and pulled out a bottle of orange juice. "Drink?"

I shook my head, trying to hide my frustration at his change of subject. This was my life, not his, and certainly not Emmy's. Why was it so much to ask to live it as I pleased?

"Shall we unpack?" Bradley asked. "And where are those apartment brochures?"

"It's too big," I said as the realtor showed us around the first of the four potential homes we were due to see. "It looked much smaller on the internet."

Emmy had found me the apartment in Tokyo, and it had been surprisingly cheap. Although it was far larger than we needed, I'd fallen in love with the view right away, and when my parents came to see the place, their awed faces had me signing the purchase contract. But in Boston, there was no need for me to live on such a grand scale.

Bradley didn't share my sentiments. "I don't think it's big enough. I mean, it's only got three bedrooms."

"That's plenty."

He stared at me as if I'd suggested pink wasn't the best colour or chocolate was an unnecessary indulgence and ticked off points on his fingers.

"One, Hisashi will want his own room before you've finished college. Two, you need somewhere for the nanny to sleep. Three, your family will come and stay." He scratched his chin. "You need at least five bedrooms."

"Hisashi can share with me if my family all come at once, and who said the nanny would be living here?"

True, I didn't like being on my own, but I valued my privacy too much to share my home with a stranger.

"Well, I just assumed... Why wouldn't you want her to stay? It'll be easier for everyone."

"I don't want a live-in nanny."

"But I really think..."

"I appreciate you coming to help, honestly I do, but this is my fresh start. I need to learn to stand on my own two feet and cope by myself. That means a live-out nanny and no bodyguards."

"I'm not sure..."

"I am. Look, if I can't speak to Emmy, then you'll need to. No more shadows monitoring my every move."

"I'll see what I can do, but she won't be happy."

I'd spent my whole damn life trying to make other people happy.

"Well, I'm sorry about that, but she'll have to live with it."

Apartment two was a bust, I knew it as soon as I heard the music blaring into the hallway from the place next door. Still, we politely meandered around before we moved onto the next viewing at a three-storey block in a small complex.

"I'm not sure about this one either," I whispered as we waited for the elevator. "It seems more like a retirement home."

Bradley wrinkled his nose. "The hallway smells of mothballs."

An old lady shuffled past, leaning on a walking frame, and scowled when she saw Hisashi. Their feelings appeared mutual because he started to cry, and no amount of cuddles would placate him.

"Bad vibes," Bradley whispered.

Luckily, the elevator dinged, and we practically leapt on board. The real estate agent pasted on a smile as she extolled the benefits of the place, ignoring Hisashi's snuffles.

"So, I know there are a lot of seniors around, but that's actually great for security. They've even organised their own neighbourhood watch program," she said.

Wonderful, nosy neighbours keeping an eye on everything I did. "Sounds great."

"What would they do? Club a burglar to death with their walking canes?" Bradley muttered.

"Sorry, what was that?" the agent asked.

"Nothing."

The apartment wasn't too bad inside. The windows looked out over the communal garden, and if you ignored the grab rails in the bathroom, it was quite practical. Although one oddity aroused my curiosity.

"The place is rented furnished, but there's no bed in the master bedroom?"

"Ah, yes. The landlord, er, took it out," the lady said.

"Why?"

"It's okay, he'll buy a new one."

Bradley planted himself in front of her, and I caught a rare glimpse of the toughness he normally kept hidden.

"Why'd he take the bed out?"

"Uh, the previous occupant passed away in it. They didn't find him for a few days."

I was halfway through the door before she finished the sentence.

"No. Just no."

"Let's hope the last apartment's good," I said to Bradley over dinner. We'd ordered room service and ended up with twice as much food as we could actually eat.

"At least it's bigger."

"And one of these candidates had better be suitable." I thumbed through the stack of résumés the agency had sent over. My initial favourite had been rejected by Emmy when she found out the woman got fired from a previous position for smacking the child under her care. Of the three left, one was young—just nineteen—but the other two were in their forties. Hopefully they had the experience I was looking for.

"Don't worry," he said, popping a maki roll into his mouth. "We've got almost three weeks left to get things sorted out. It'll be fine."

He had to eat his words the next morning as we stood in apartment number four.

"What's that big crack in the wall?" I asked.

The agent followed my gaze up to the ceiling and went a shade paler. "I'm not sure. I don't recall it being there last time I came."

Bradley took a step to the side. "If you stand at the right angle, you can see daylight through it."

I clutched Hisashi to me, visions of the apartment tumbling down around us flying through my mind.

"I think we should leave now."

Even the agent didn't hesitate as we hurried for the door.

"So, what now?" I asked when we got outside.

Bradley pointed at the building. "Look, the cracks start at the ground and go all the way up."

Sure enough, they did. Ugly black lines graced one side of the building. A shudder ran through me.

"I'm not setting foot in there again, but now I'm out of options." I turned to the agent. "Do you have anything else?"

"Most of the cheaper properties have already been snapped up by students. You started your apartment-hunting a little late."

Tell me something I didn't know. "So you've got nothing?"

"We did have one new place come onto the books this morning. It's a touch bigger than you specified—five bedrooms—but it's available immediately."

I ignored Bradley's grin of triumph. "What's it like?"

"It's not far. How about we drop by on the way back to the office?"

"I guess it can't hurt."

Oh, it could. I felt it right in my wallet the instant I crossed the threshold.

"This place is beautiful."

The apartment was on the fourth floor out of four, which meant it had a roof terrace and a hot tub, although I'd have to keep the door securely locked with Hisashi around. One bedroom was even set up as a nursery, with a child gate in the doorway and covers over the electrical outlets. The huge living room had plenty of space for a piano, and the windows overlooked a nearby park. For only the second time in my life, I fell in love.

"How much?" I whispered.

At first, I thought I'd heard her reply wrong.

"How can it be only fifty dollars a month more than the place with the cracks? It's twice as big."

She shrugged. "The guy renting it's after a quick deal. His job's taken him and his family abroad, and he doesn't want it sitting empty."

"When's he coming back?" The last thing I wanted was to get settled then have to vacate the place.

"Apparently, it's a five-year contract. He's looking for a long-term tenant."

"I'll take it."

I was as surprised as Bradley when the words left my mouth. Rarely did I make such impulsive decisions, but it seemed to get easier with practice.

The agent's shoulders slumped, no doubt in relief that we wouldn't need to traipse around any more apartments.

"Wonderful! I'll get the paperwork drawn up."