Tuesday evening came and brought with it a cold. I hadn't felt well during dinner with Linc last night, but he'd bundled me up in a blanket and fed me chicken soup, and by the end of the night, I'd been feeling a little better.

But now my head pounded at the prospect of a practice session with Jansen, and I didn't see how I could get through two hours without my nose dribbling all over the keys. A delightful prospect.

Linc: Tell him you're sick.

Akari: But he'll make me stay tomorrow instead, and I'd rather be with you.

Linc: I'd rather you were with me too, but I want you to get better more than anything.

Akari: I feel okay. I've taken that medicine you gave me.

Linc: If you're sure, but the instant you feel worse, go home.

Akari: Miss you x.

Linc: Miss you too x.

I'd lied. I didn't feel okay. I also felt guilty for telling Linc I felt okay, but there were times when a tiny fib was better for everybody, right?

By the fourth run-through of Beethoven's Piano Trio No. 3, my wrists ached, and I could only breathe from one side of my nose.

"Would you stop that noise?" Jansen asked. He'd been tetchy since we got into the practice room. Perhaps he forgot to take his meds.

"What noise?"

"That disgusting sniffling."

I tried to clear my nose quietly, but a tickle in my throat set off a coughing fit.

"And the coughing, too. We don't want your germs."

That did it. "You know what? I'm going home. I feel like shit, so you might as well carry on without me." I shoved the stool back and got shakily to my feet, but Jansen planted himself in front of me.

"No, you'll stay. I've got the room booked until eight."

"I'll puke by seven thirty."

He shoved me back, and I fell onto the stool again. "Then do it quietly."

"Don't talk to her that way." Jude came up behind him, eyes narrowed.

"You can shut up as well. You clearly haven't practised since last week, so you need all the help you can get."

"I damn well have. I spent three hours in here yesterday."

"When? Because I was here for six."

I got to my feet again. "I'm going home."

Jansen whirled around to face me, but this time he kept pushing until he had me pinned against the wall. "Back to the janitor, more like. I know you're still slumming it with him."

As Jansen bore down on me with his weight, fears I'd kept locked away broke free, followed by the instincts I'd had to live on for so long. There was a satisfying "oof" as my knee connected with his crotch.

Hisashi's father had taught me how to do that, just in case I got bothered by the guards again. "You kick, you run, and you come to me, querida. I'll deal with it." I still remembered his soft voice as he instructed me on the best spot to aim for, a technique Emmy helped me to perfect a couple of years later.

Jude stared open-mouthed as I ran past him and Jansen, my only thought to get away. The slap of my feet on the tiles echoed through the corridors as I bolted for the front door.

I shot into the darkness, not knowing or caring where I was going. I didn't stop until I ran out of breath, and by then I'd reached the park three blocks away. The moonlight reflected off ripples in the duck pond as I gulped in air, tears mixing with snot. I wiped my face with a sleeve, thankful that Linc wasn't there to see me in such a state.

Except he knew. My phone played the opening beats of "One Vision," and I fished it out of my pocket. At least it wasn't "Killer Queen." Trying to explain this mess to Emmy would be even worse.

"Sweetheart, where are you?"

"T-t-the park."

"Stay where you are; I'll be there in five."

I sank onto a bench and stared at the shadows cast by the branches overhead. A lone duck waddled out to stare at me, no doubt wondering who this intruder was in his peaceful paradise. Must be nice to be a duck. Nothing to do all day but swim around, eat bread, and...

"What the hell happened?" Linc's voice startled me.

I rose to my feet beside him, staring into the trees. "Jansen was being an ass. Nothing new, except I didn't feel up to dealing with him tonight."

"You had me terrified, running out like that."

"How did you know?"

"I bumped into Jude in the lobby. He was looking for you as well."

"He tried to stick up for me, but Jansen had a go at him too."

"Jansen needs to be taught a lesson." Linc's hands balled into fists, and his eyes flashed with anger.

"No, don't. Don't lower yourself to his level. He's not normally this bad."

"He upsets you every week."

"I need to learn to toughen up."

"No, you don't. You're perfect as you are. Don't ever lose that sweetness."

"I've always dreamed of being able to stand up for myself, but when I tried it tonight, it was harder than I ever imagined."

How did Emmy do it? She'd never have let Jansen get the better of her like that. Some people might call her a bitch, but she only looked after herself and everyone she cared about.

"We'll work on that. It just takes practice."

He took my hands and fireworks went off. No, literally. On the far side of the pond, starbursts of green and gold lit up the night sky, the lights sizzling as they twinkled back to earth. A series of bangs brought explosions of red and pink, and I stopped to watch for a few seconds. I hadn't seen a display like that since Bradley arranged World War III in Emmy's backyard last Christmas.

I squeezed Linc's hand, and he gripped mine back tighter. And tighter. And tighter.

"Linc, you're hurting me. Could you...? What's wrong?" His eyes were closed, and sweat popped out on his brow as he started shaking uncontrollably. "Linc, you're scaring me. What's wrong with you?"

He collapsed onto the bench I'd been sitting on, gasping for breath, eyes screwed up as though he was in pain.

"Linc!" My voice rose to a near shriek. "What's happening?"

He clutched at my cheeks, cupping them in his hands and squeezing them together. "Don't leave me. Don't go. Please. Don't leave me."

I watched in horror as his tears fell and used my clean sleeve to wipe them away. Why was he so scared? I glanced around, but I couldn't see anything, and the fireworks meant my hearing was useless as well. Then it struck me. That damned noise. He'd been in a war, and that war ended in trauma. Was he having a panic attack? After I'd got to America, I'd had several myself, triggered by reminders of my last hours in Colombia. Smoke. Screams. The crackle of flames. When I got that choking feeling, I barely recognised my surroundings. Instead, I flew right back to the hell of the jungle. My episodes had eased after I moved back to Japan, but I still remembered the fear vividly.

"Don't go. Please don't go."

Linc's plea, so plaintive, cut through to my core.

I tried to move my hand to relieve the pain of him squeezing it, then clasped my other one over the top. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Without knowing what else to do, I climbed onto his lap and wrapped my free arm around his head, trying to cover his ears and block out the noise. My heart beat faster as I clung to him, praying for an end to the nightmare. "I'm staying."

He gulped air faster as he buried his head in my shoulder. That damned noise. The fireworks seemed to last forever, and after they'd finally subsided, another minute passed before Linc looked up and opened his eyes again. By then, my heart was racing as wildly as his.

It took a long moment for him to focus on me. "Fuck, sweetheart, are you okay?"

"Am I okay? I'm not the one who just had a panic attack. That's what it was, isn't it?"

He loosened his grip on my hand and brought it to his lips before nodding. "PTSD. I thought it was getting better. I haven't had an attack in months, but that one caught me by surprise."

"You and me both."

With the sky quiet once more, we sat in silence for a few minutes, long enough for our breathing to return to normal.

"Every time I hear a loud bang, it takes me back to that road in Afghanistan. The explosion, the shooting, the death. I carried my best friend for half a mile, him holding his guts in with his hands while I shot at enemy soldiers. He died in my arms."

Now it was my turn to cry as Linc stared into the void behind me. Not for myself, but for Linc's friend, lost in battle, for Hisashi's father, and for all the other people lost in the Colombian nightmare I'd escaped.

"Horrible things happen to good people, Linc. I used to ask myself why, but then I realised it's human nature. Some people are born screwed in the head; some are made that way. All we can do is fight against it in whatever way we can, in the hope that one day the world will be at peace." I hugged him harder. "But in the meantime, let's try to find peace together."

"So fucking sweet. I don't know who sent you to me, but I thank my lucky stars every day that they did."

Sofia was stretched out on the sofa in the living room when I walked in with Linc, and she did a double take to see him behind me.

"Sofia, this is Lincoln. Lincoln, this is Sofia."

For a brief second, she frowned, but then her face cleared and her usual smile returned. "Lovely to meet you, Lincoln. Can I get you something to drink?"

Linc hesitated, so I replied for both of us. "It's been a long day. I think we'll just go to bed."

"You know what? You're right. I'll do the same." She picked up her magazine and the baby monitor off the coffee table and headed first to Hisashi's room, and then a minute later to her own.

Sofia's hasty departure spared me from having to keep my eyes open any longer, and for that my fuzzy head was grateful. Linc yawned, and I could tell the evening's events had taken their toll. "I hope you weren't kidding about going to bed. I could sleep for a week."

"Same." I paused. "Linc?"

"Yes?"

"Will you stay with me tonight? Not to...you know. Just to be there."

He leaned closer and dropped a soft kiss onto my hair. "Nothing would please me more."