Au : Jesse dies. Lol.

Ship ; McHanzo.

Warning : plz dont hate me, feelz ahead.
Also this was kind of a vent for me.

Words : 1497 .

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Brave, handsome, fearless, and true to his word ; that was Jesse McCree. It felt like yesterday when Hanzo's eyes watched his lover slowly fall to the ground, lifeless by the faded glimpse in his eyes. Shot down by a sniper, Jesse McCree left Hanzo without any last words, not even a small 'i love you'

To this day. The saddened man struggles with everything, with his social life. Everything was just empty, the more he stares at people, the more their faces disappear.

The more he becomes weak.

"Hanzo...Are you alright?"He had a few friends, just not much. He met up with one of them which was Fareeha Amari. She was like a sister to McCree and she always teased Hanzo of how she was going to become his sister in law. But..that will never happen.

"Hm..?"Hanzo looked up at the other to see a blank face. He could hear her voice but he could see scribbles. Not even a single feature on anyone's face.

"Were you listening to what i was saying?"She tilted her head and rested her hand back on the table.

There was a short pause before the Shimada sighed."Yes., i have to leave now, i have other stuff to do."In reality, he felt bothered.

Not by Fareeha, but by not going to Jesse's grave in the morning. He had to talk to him.

He tossed his bag over his shoulder and left with a soft 'bye' He doesn't have time for anyone, barely for himself. Barely for his family, his little brother who's too busy making out in the club with some random people. He stopped caring.

Looking at the time, it was 6:30 P.M., still he has time to visit his lover's grave. His work was at night time, giving him the advantage to visit Jesse every morning.

Hanzo picked up his pace as he reached the big cemetery. He knew the way to Jesse's grave like he knew his own mind. Slowly kneeling, he picked up one of the flowers he put on his grave.

"So..are you 'feelin'' empty down there without me?...do you find the dirt satisfying?...do you think of me..?"Hanzo didn't realize that his eyes were watering,"you promised that we would live together..we would have our own house..and maybe get married..right?"

The cold breeze left him shivering.

"Today i saw your 'sister' but....i can't really tell what expression she had on..i can't tell what the people around me say or..do..or even express."

His hands squeezed on the edge of his jacket, trying to get rid of the anger that he was holding inside of him.

"It's all because of my fault. Because you loved the oldest Shimada..the worthless one..who couldn't protect you from those evil stinks.."

The more he spoke, the more his tears would fall.

"I would do anything for you to come back..anything..even if i could replace your life with mine.."

And so on and on. Hanzo continued talking about some of their happiest moments.

It was 7:30 when Hanzo finally let go and left to his work.

After his work, he goes home and sleeps. Just a boring life. A life of a person who doesn't feel anything anymore.

The lights to his room flickered and he was startled to hear his brother's voice."What are you doing here?"Hanzo didn't even hear the door to his apartment open so maybe Genji sneaked in.

"Are you over him?"The youngest Shimada crossed his arms as if he was irritated.

That triggered Hanzo but of course he didn't bother to yell."Why are you bringing him up all of the sudden?"

Genji shrugged his shoulders and if Hanzo saw his expression, he would've choked Genji on the spot."Dunno. I wanted to hook you up with someone, you're only making yourself suffer more and more every day."

Hanzo closed his eyes, trying to hold himself back."You're finally caring about me young brother? When was the last time i saw you? Three weeks ago?"

"Heh don't bring that up. I don't want to care for anyone, maybe if i do then they'll get sniped and die."Genji snickered at his own comment,"then ill get depressed, 'booo~'"

Genji was really setting up his grave. Hanzo wasn't in the mood tonight like every other night. He turned to his brother and forced a smile."Get out of here."

The stubborn brother shook his head."Deal with me, there's a crazy chick on my ass."

Genji referred to a girl he met at the club and now she's crazy about him.

"Just so we're clear..this is the last time you'll sleep in my apartment."

Hanzo made a huge mistake. He didn't sleep at all, his brother kept texting people and the sound of his thumbs pressing against the screen was getting to Hanzo. He really wanted to kill Genji.

     - - - -

Nothing changed about the next day. Hanzo kicked Genji out of his house and after that he got dressed. Of course his morning visit. He reached the cemetery and looked around to see a couple of people visiting their loved ones. Yet..yet...their faces were still blank.

"Are you doing well this morning? How did you sleep?"Hanzo brought out a small rose without the vine out of his pocket and placed it on top of the tombstone.

For some reason Hanzo shuddered at something, not the wind but he felt something touch him. It was a strange feeling.

"My brother said i should move on but i can't let go..i can never let go.."Again he felt that brush of a hand on his shoulder. Hanzo quickly snapped his head back to meet with the face of the one and only.

Jesse McCree.

"H-'there was no time to react for Hanzo. He fell back on his behind, grasping for anything.

Do ghosts really exist?

Jesse only snorted at his lover's reaction, reaching out a hand."Did ya miss me darlin'?"

Maybe Hanzo was going crazy. But he really wanted to feel the warmth of Jesse hand's again, just one more time at least.

He lifted his hand to really grab on to Jesse's, but he felt nothing. His hand just went through Jesse's.

"Yea, forgot, yer' alive and i'm dead."Despite Jesse's situation, he put on the biggest smile for Hanzo.

"Can you come back to me?! Do you hear all the things i say when i come here?"Still shocked, Hanzo's eyes widen. Finally he saw someone's face, jesse's own beautiful face. He missed the brown rounded eyes, the tanned perfect skin, and those lips. Basically Everything.

Jesse tapped his chin, grinning."How could i miss out? I love hearin' yer voice and about your adventures..but..i hate hearin' about the things you regret."

The tension suddenly became heavier.

"Can i ask you one thing Hanzo?"Jesse tried to wrap his hand around his lover's but it only faded.

Quickly, Hanzo nodded in a short reply.

"Can you let go of me? Yer not the one one who's been livin' in regret. The more i hear you cryin', the more you regret of what happened, the more i feel pained. So please..try to see the world in your old perspective..."

There was silence. How could he do that? That was a hard task. A very hard thing to do. Forget everything and move on like nothing happened. Hanzo was not that type of person.

Hanzo fidgeted with his hands as if he didn't find the right words to answer with.

But Jesse continued."You wont get anywhere if you stay like that darlin', please..try to forget me..find someone else..find the right person who will love you the way i did..don't worry...ill wait for you...even if i have to sit here for months..years..even decades..just..let go.."

Hanzo turned around him to see the other people walking by, still seeing no feature on their face. He didn't know what to do, he was helpless. But sometimes..it was the right choice to let go of things. Maybe it was the right choice to do.

"Jesse..McCree..i love you so much..but..but...i have to- to move -on."He was already a sobbing mess, each stutter was only turned into a soft cry.

But he felt relived after saying that.

"Me too..ill wait for you..."Hanzo closed his eyes tightly,"ill wait for you too!"

But once he opened his eyes, Jesse wasn't there.

"Im sorry..."He turned around to finally see some people smiling, some people crying, some people in between.

He could see the world from his old perspective again.

"Thank you..."