TW: mention of sh, will put the start and end of it in the story. No big description of it. Stay safe, everyone xx

After the incident yesterday,
Mom let me stay home from school. Thank god I couldn't face Jackson and Max; it was humiliating. I stayed in my bed once I woke up and stared at the ceiling.

Flashbacks of Max throwing punches at me played over and over in my mind like a broken record. To distract myself, I grabbed my phone to check the notifications.

Tao: are you okay??
Tao: I heard what happened w/ Max and Jackson. Such assholes. You don't deserve what happened at all.
Tao: god, please respond
Tao: charlieeeeeeee

I smiled a bit and sat up slowly to avoid any pain.
At least I had Tao and honestly wouldn't know what to do without my best friend. He's the only thing besides Tori keeping me sane in life.

Char: I'm okay
Char: It was humiliating, but I'll get over it. Don't worry

Tao: oh, thank god ur alive!

Char: don't be so dramatic 😂

Tao: I'll forever be dramatic

Char: lol!

I sighed and set my phone back on my nightstand.

(TW: starts now feel free to skip this part)

I just wanted the flashbacks to stop. I then remembered what we learned about in health class, about mental health and self-harm. I know this is the opposite of what I'm supposed to do.

Since the teacher told us that it's not a good habit to get into, but the idea intrigued me. It's been on the back of my mind since the bullying began.

I walked to the bathroom and shut the door. I took a deep breath and reached for the cabinet. Part of my mind was shouting at me to stop, but the other thoughts urged me on.

I opened the cabinet and looked around for anything sharp.

Scissors caught my eye; it was less intimidating than a razor blade, lol how ironic.
If I'm doing a bad thing, why am I worried about what I'm doing it with? My mind went blank, and the next thing I knew, I took the scissors.

(End of TW)

I felt sick as I walked out of the bathroom. I sat on my bed and began to cry into my hands. How did my life turn to this? I drew a sharp breath, rubbing my face roughly. I thought doing it would make me feel better;  it doesn't. I yanked down my sleeves and got under the covers fast as there was a knock on the door.

I'm perfectly fine.

"Char?" It was Tori, and she must have gotten home from school. Was it that late in the afternoon already? I glanced at the clock, 3 pm.

"Can I come in?" Tori asked, knocking on the door again.

"Come in," I manage out once the tears dried up.

Tori walked in and looked at me with worried eyes. It's like she could read my mind.

"Want to come to get ice cream with me?" Tori wondered. The thought of ice cream made me sick.

I felt terrible saying no since she was trying to cheer me up. I didn't want to go out anywhere; I couldn't.

"No, thank you," I said.

Tori nodded and sat with me. "I want to let you know that I'm always here for you. No matter what, I'm here." She assured me.

That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. I collapsed into Tori's arms and began to sob.

God, I'm so pathetic.

"Thanks," I say and wipe my eyes with a sniffle. Tori nodded and got up.

"Let me know if you need anything," Tori said. I nodded, even though I won't. I don't want to keep bothering Tori with my problems.