The crackling of the television's static was soothing. Some say the white noise leaves a gray area for the unknown, but it was enough of a welcoming distraction; from my self-debasement; for the liquor that I had consumed to caress every blood cell in my body and rock me to sleep without the usual swollen tear ducts and headaches that I had become accustomed too.

It was the quiet hush of the room that stirred me. The automatic shut-off of my television opened the floodgates of memories that I had to decypher. With adrenaline coursing through my veins and sweat beads forming on my nose, the faint sound of the sheets ruffling, bodies shifting,  and light snores finally startled me completely out of my slumber.

Frantically looking around, my surroundings finally became familiar and the muted colors of a loosely woven alpaca throw; that shielded me from the cool nip of the condos central air; reminded me I was home. Eyeing Blue and Kristina who's frames were half hidden under the down comforter; that usually blanketed my California king; nestled into opposing spots on the couch.

My cotton mouth and pounding heart had me clambering off of the loveseat in search of something to calm me down.

A frigid sip of water from the tap quickly quenched my thirst and awakened my bladder. Cold Spanish tiles of the bathroom's floor gave me a chill as the pads of my feet brought me to the porcelain throne.

Thoughts of my friend played in my head as I stared at the claw foot tub that held memories of our long chats that all seemed to occur as soon as one toe slid into the foam topped water.

"What are you doing?" His voice vibrates the phone with a husk that's all his own.

"Who is this?" I whisper, trying to quiet the sloshing of the water around me.

"Guess..."

"No!"

"You don't want to play?"

"I think I know who it is but I'm curious as to how you got my home number" I smile into the phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Same thing I do every night at this time."

"It's midnight...come back to Paisley. Let me play you a tune."

"Uh huh...I've just got settled into the tub and have work to do." My response was true. I had become use to making my bathroom into my own portable office. Laptop placed securely on top of a breakfast tray supported by the toilet's lid. My makeshift desk held research on the shows contestant and the call times for each.

"What kind of work? If you need extra hands.." he hints as his vocal chords sound like they've been dipped in honey.

With this brick of a cordless phone tucked into the crook of my neck and using my hands to add Dove soap to my loofah, I simply answer. "The kind that keeps my lights on... and make sure you keep this same kind of energy up when the ladies arrive tomorrow."

The silence caused me to pull the phone away from my ear, checking to see if it had died. With the neon numbers still illuminated and no sound of the busy signal, I was worried he was upset.

"Hello, hello?!?" I say, even releasing the fragrant white bar into the suds to get a better grip of the phone.

There has always been rumors of his personality switch and I didn't want to be the reason behind this venture being cut short.

It started low and gradually but the rumble of his laughter soon picked up and his cackles and howls put a smile on the face. Clenching my bare chest with soapy fingers, I breathe a sigh of relief.

"I scared you didn't I?"

"Nooo" I dragged out with a giggle. My left hand securing the phone against my ear and the other blindly fishing for soap.

"Hmmm," he hums lightly. "Don't do it again"

Click.

"Hello! Did he just hang up on me?" Looking at the phone I pull up and retract the antenna several times.

Who was I fooling? The dial tone made it apparent that only me, myself, and I occupied this line.

His relationship with Genny and mine with Eddie never brought those chats to a sudden end. We found ways to bypass any conversations about our significant others, that night in Paris, or tension that was missed by many in the months following the finale. Yet we were still flirting with fire and each other.

"Bathing and working again" He stated the obvious as the sound of the  water slouching around the tub seemed to echo throughout the bathroom only to be interrupted by the tips of my nails hitting keys.

"Yeah, I figured I'd send the editor notes on your concert film and edit a bit myself before I start getting ready."

"Going out on the town? Maybe coming to the NPG night at Paisley event? Or you got a date?"

His playfulness comes through the receiver.

"Umm the last one." Not sure where my voice went while answering him. He's never made me feel small but he has this alpha man way about him that intrigued me in a way that shouldn't. I still blame that day back in Paris.

"You don't sound sure, maybe cause it's not me!"

"Why do you do that?" I nervously giggle. "You know I'm with..."

"Yeah but he ain't me. I'm just trying to help you unwind. You know, be a friend..."

"Yeah I know"

"Cause friends help friends relax"

"I need to relax"

"...and"

"And what?"

"Release...you tryna release?"

"Boiii bye" I giggle as I hang up the phone and toss it into a basket of towels, incense, and candles stationed between the foot of the tub and the glass door of the shower.

The mindless flushing of the toilet and washing of hands brings me out of my head and back into the now. Lifting my eyes to the mirrored medicine cabinet, I couldn't help but to cup my redden cheeks thanks to a smile that hadn't been seen on my face in 7 days time.

Tip toeing out of the bathroom and noticing that my friends hadn't shifted even an inch from the position I left them in. I busy myself with making us some coffee.

After placing the silver kettle on the burner, I reach past the gourmet grinds that were gifted to me and grab the tin of instant caffeine that was always my mother's first choice.

"The best part of waking up in Folgers in your cup!" I sing while placing a table spoon into three mugs.

"You know what will go good with this...breakfast." I note to myself while grabbing a cast iron skillet from the oven before retrieving eggs, buttermilk, a tub of country crock butter, and country ham from the fridge.

The food options at Paisley Park had morphed from an omnivore menu to that of a strict vegetarian, hey my waistline wasn't complaining. I've gone from eating meat in several courses throughout the day to only occasionally sharing it while on dates with Eddie. However, a little over a week ago while Mr.Murphy decided to make me breakfast in bed, he left a good amount of the salty goodness in my icebox.

Kneading dough is therapeutic. I would watch my dad do it, after taking a couple swigs of beer and laughing at my mothers idle threats of making a better bit of bread. He'd roll it out and cut the perfect circles with the same glass every time. My technique mimicked his. Always the same glass.

"Hmmm hmmm...and to know it all began...mmmm, I've come too close to happiness to have it swept  away eee..." I sing while plating the meal. "Don't think I can take the paaain!"

"...ever fall again..." Blue finishes as she peaks around the wall into the kitchen.

"Morning..." she smiles.

"Morning. I made breakfast.", motioning to the table.

"I don't want to melt your eyebrows off with my breathe so let me freshen up."

Kristina meets me half way to the table and lightens my load by taking the tray holding our breakfast and placing it down allowing me to grab the now steaming hot mugs of joe.

"I thought you were still dead to the world..." jokes Blue emerging from the loo.

"I was until the puppies I was petting in my dream turned into smoking pigs selling bacon and hot dogs at the county fair and then I started smelling ham....I bit my arm thinking it was a hamhock." She says showing us the teeth marks on her forearm.

Breakfast consisted of me catching up with the girls about their week of covering for me in meetings with the studio and PR people trying to put a cap on the tabloid's twist on the Reunion and how it was great publicity for the upcoming season with Motley Crew's own Tommy Lee.

"They say all publicity is good publicity...but we all know how private he is."

"Yeah...he's been calling too." Kristina adds.

"Has he..." I mumble, struggling to swallow the eggs that have seemed to turn into cement in my mouth.

"Yeah..." Kristina says. "Eddie has been calling too. He's been worried about you. Said that you haven't been answering his calls. He was the one who suggested we do a wellness check on you." She looks up, gray eyes displaying the worry that she once felt. "Honestly Kay... we've all been worried."

"Your dad called us too!" Blue adds.

"Is he worried?" Eyeing my pancakes that I was currently stabbing with my fork.

"No..." she starts.

"Of course he's not!"

"He said that once you got yourself together you'd be back fulfilling your duties.", taking a sip of orange juice from a pink tumbler, she continues. "He said, he expects you in the office this week. Speaking of the office?" Blue starts to look around the room for the closest clock. "What time is it?"

"9:45... why?" I wonder.

"Shoot, we gotta go!" Kristina comments.

"Babe, thanks for the breakfast..." Blue starts, while she and Kristina rush from the table haphazardly grabbing for their belongings. "... we got a meeting at 11:15 with Tommy Lee's manager. That's the only time they could fit us in and you know how L.A's traffic is! We'll be back later!"

Standing there in my pj's, I was left there in a silent room with only my thoughts to keep me company for the next few hours.