I collided face-first into a pole. The third since I'd departed for school this morning.

Retreating, I gently rubbed the site of pain, thinning my eyelids in the act. The ache, however, was hardly noticeable with my senses as detached as they were.

I couldn't think straight.

My fingers balled the fabric above my chest.

I'd never been confessed to before, let alone that boldly. And the one person that did. . . was my childhood best friend.

Because I said I missed him and wanted to see him.

Because I repeatedly implied our feelings were mutual.

Rin-Rin was convinced we were dating for almost a year now. Every conversation, every text message. . . even the reason he put work on hold and came running to see me yesterday.

I was extremely insensitive.

Since we weren't technically "dating", me clearing up that misunderstanding could hardly be considered a "breakup." Nevertheless, it must've very much felt like one to him.

How many times had he told me he loved me growing up and I brushed it aside as platonic? How many times did I hurt him without intending to? There was no need to dwell on it. Doing so wouldn't change the past. Despite yesterday's events being the hugest blow of all, he set the record straight. I could run or hide all I want, but this reality was something I had to face eventually.

"More than anyone else in the whole world, I love you, Shiina."

His confession echoed in my ears and in my heart.

Another hard surface knocked the air out of me.

Grunting, I fell into a crouch.

"Are you trying to knock yourself out?"

I craned my neck.

It was Koshiba. Coat snug around her body, umbrella clasped in palm. Impassive, she stared down at me.

"That's the fourth lamppost you've hit now. I know you're lanky, but this is overkill."

Ascending to my feet, I massaged my nose. "I'm fin—"

The lamppost gave me another thorough beating.

"You're clearly not fine," Koshiba enunciated, jerking me by the arm toward her. While I grimaced pathetically, she expunged a breath. "Toru's acting strange too. Left without me this morning, with not so much as a message. His parents mentioned something about him being uncharacteristically down."

"Igarashi. . . is?" I formulated a response. Now out of the pool of my thoughts, my surroundings tumbled into place. Koshiba's firm grasp on me, passing Hoshizaki Academy students murmuring about 'Beanstalk Shiina's' comedic stumbles, my pulsating face.

Koshiba, who typically appeared seconds from ripping off my head, despondently sighed. "I knew I shouldn't have left early yesterday. So? Your childhood friend returned home and confessed, right?"

Every inch of my body locked up. She knew? How?

"I have feelings for Toru. Don't tell me you forgot," she responded, as if peering into my mind. "And since I technically consider you a love rival, I've made it a goal to gather as much information on you as possible. Though, this confession I heard from Toru himself. We talked briefly last night."

Heaviness claimed my chest. They all overheard everything, which made things infinitely more awkward. Plus, I'd burrowed myself into my room instead of seeing them off like I should've.

Koshiba released my sleeve. She set her fist to her side. "I may not be someone you want to confide in but to prevent yourself from bumping into more obstacles and ending up with a concussion, you probably should. I'll keep this entire thing to myself."

I flickered my gaze to the pavement, and the small puddles interspersed on the ground. Knowing full well suppressing my emotions hadn't done me good in the past, nor did it help to straighten out my rampant thoughts now, my shoulders drooped.

"Must be hard being so very popular," she drawled. "Judging by your reaction, you're the furthest from happy about it. Even though he's teen heartthrob Rin Mizota?"

"I love him," I said. "I don't doubt that. But, I'm not sure if I love him the way he loves me."

A frigid, spring wind blew through.

"He sings praises to his fangirls left and right. But, when he said it to me. . . when he says he loves me. . . it's different. I know now I'm special to him. That he cares so, so much about me. But. . ."

"How would you feel if he found some other girl to fawn over and love in that special way?"

At my silence, she shut her eyes.

"Then, are you crushing on someone else?"

I frowned.

"You're better off figuring that out first," she reasoned. "Worry about responding to his confession afterward. Not wanting to hurt his feelings isn't an excuse to half-heartedly go out with him or beat around the bush. As a childhood friend who's lived with unrequited feelings for years, Toru setting me straight a while back was painful, but it would've hurt more if he was wishy-washy about it—not that I have any intention of forfeiting my feelings for him regardless. I'm sure your friend would appreciate the same honesty."

I knew that. I had to make sense of my emotions and give him a proper response.

"Koshiba, you're a nice person."

Disbelief seized her features. "Huh?"

"I was convinced you hated my guts but here you are looking out for me. Thank you. You're the best."

"Looking out for you?" she jeered, waving furiously. "Don't get the wrong idea. I want you to get together with that idol right now so you can finally leave Toru alone! Besides, leaving you to mindlessly injure yourself goes against my moral compass— Hey! Stop trying to hug me!"

I pulled her into one anyway, sniffling. "Koshiba~! Let me appreciate you~!"

"I don't need it! Stay away!"

Her palm incessantly drove my face in the other direction, skillfully evading my advances. Within that same interval, heavy whispers pervaded my ears. The buzz encompassing the courtyard of Hoshizaki was deafening. Fluttering my eyelids, I framed my gaze onto the huge swarm of students; primarily, the squealing girls.

Koshiba was also drawn to the peculiar sight.

"Ugh, is the disciplinary committee doing inspections today? Dammit." She slung her bag off her shoulder and ruffled through it. She slammed items into my arms. A rope, flashlight, black ski mask, knife—

"Th-th—" I stuttered, paling drastically.

"Hide those for me." She saluted me and ducked forward. "See you inside."

"Hey—"

She disappeared in a flash, leaving me sputtering for oxygen. Grimy with the touch alone, I tossed it all behind adjacent trash bins. Why were these in her bag? Was this normal? Upon closer inspection, the knife was plastic (thankfully). Not that it made this situation any less bizarre.

She was prepared to commit a crime upon a moment's notice.

Rather, this could've served as evidence for her previous crimes. . .

.

.

.

"She's terrifying," I whined.

I wanted to believe she was a kind person deep down. I truly did. But she made it so hard!

Whipping my head left and right to ensure onlookers hadn't bore witness to what I'd discarded, I dashed for the sea of students ahead.

At close range, the screams were deafening and indecipherable. I'd undergone my fair share of bag and uniform inspections but none were as enlivened as this. If anything, it was dead silent, and students were either disinterested or fearing for their lives.

. . .Something was wrong.

This ungovernable buzz.

This anarchic excitement.

These piercing screams.

Yes. It was almost as if a celebrity. . . the number one face in the country. . . the boy all girls and their mothers wanted to date. . . had graced this mediocre private school.

"Ahh, Rin Mizota! Is! So! Close!"

"Rin, notice me!"

"No, me! Make me your wife!"

The shrieks were ear-shattering (and questionably sensual). Accepting the flourish of mirth from the student body with not so much a change from his princely smile was Rin-Rin.

Fangirls fainted one after another.

Fanboys collapsed right behind them.

Cameras flashed left and right.

They say to be careful what you wish for, but. . . This was way too cruel, God! Let me take back what I told that first star.

My heart wasn't ready for another confrontation. . . !

Ducking and merging into the squealing masses as best I could, I ambled toward the small gap leading into the school courtyard.

I did not exist. I was but an agent of the shadows. None could sense my presence unless I so assented it.

Great. I was beginning to sound like Mao. I had to stop spending so much time with her.

The clearing came into view. By and by, relief teemed over my shoulders.

I straightened up, intent on sprinting as fast as I could to my homeroom class, when two powerful arms strapped my arms.

"Shiina, I'm melting." Tsumugi, heart-eyes glued in the distance, leaped up and down. "I'm going to turn into a puddle."

Kiharu, on my right, was screeching all the same. "Rin Mizota! Rin frickin' Mizota is right in front of us! At our school!"

Dammit.

"I-I have to get to class." I wrangled for freedom but their palms were fastened like glue around me, inhibiting my escape.

"If we ask, do you think he'll give us an autograph?"

"Ain't no way we're getting the chance." Kiharu flailed my arm. "He's way out of our league. Let alone give us an autograph, there's no way he'll look at us."

"Ahh, I can stare at him all day," Tsumugi squealed. "His charming face alone is a crime, yet he has to be insanely talented, mannered—oh gosh, and that smile. . . Isn't he just your type, Shiina? What I would give to be his!"

I was given whiplash.

"Shiina?" Kiharu pulled a face, loosening her grip. "I know you don't care much about stuff like this, but this is Rin Mizota. Fantasize about being his girlfriend with us. And smooching those divine lips—"

Newfound heat blazed my face. The back of my hand subconsciously overlapped my mouth.

It happened so suddenly yesterday I hadn't completely processed it. . . but that was technically my first kiss.

My first. . .

"You don't have to blush that hard," Kiharu deadpanned. "We're talking metaphorically, remember?"

"G-g-guys." Tsumugi could hardly summon her voice. "I-Is it me, or is R-Rin Mizota. . . looking in. . ."

"Shii!"

My heartbeat soared.

Irregardless of the throngs of collapsed and near-collapsed students, teachers regulating the fray, and the snapping cameras in his vicinity, it was me his eyes were on. I wasn't out in the open. There was such a profound distance between us. From where he was, how congested his flock of fans were, he shouldn't have spotted me. Yet, with one glimpse alone, as if implying that was all he needed, he. . .

"Shii, there you are!"

Arm raised, he squeezed through his insurmountable admirers. For a moment, the world was in slow motion. Everything fell dead silent. All devotees stiffened into statues, dumbstruck to the literal definition.

Rin-Rin halted right before me.

"I was searching for you everywhere. Where were you?"

"I should be asking why you're here." The words tumbled from my lips automatically. "Have more self-awareness. You're not even in disguise."

"I was wearing one but I took it off because I couldn't see properly. Then got swarmed." He pouted. "If you answered my calls and texts and didn't leave your house so early I wouldn't have had to come here."

"Take a hint."

"Not until we can properly talk," he obstinately replied.

Amidst my lengthy pause, his attention flickered to my side. A loud exclaim spilled from his lips.

"Are you two perhaps Kiharu and Tsumugi? Shii's told me so much about you!" He gathered their palms into his, wildly pumping them up and down. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you! I'm Rin Mizota. Shii's. . . well, our relationship has hit a tiny blip so let's just stick with childhood friends. Anyway, thank you so much for looking after her!"

Tsumugi's mouth flapped like a fish. She gandered down at their interlocked hands, then up at Rin-Rin's face. Then back down.

She woozily lost her balance.

Kiharu, who caught her, wasn't in any better condition.

"W-wait. . . Y-you're. . . 'Rin-Rin'. . . ?"

He barked with laughter. "It's a strange nickname, huh? But my full name, 'Rinnosuke', was too much of a mouthful when we were kids and it kinda stuck. At this point I can't help finding it endearing."

"Rin. . . nosuke?"

"Yup. Rinnosuke Mizotaro," I sighed.

"Shortened both when I debuted since 'Rin Mizota' sticks a lot better," Rin-Rin added. He unveiled his phone from his pocket. "By the way, can I have your guys' numbers? And pictures to use when I save you to my contacts? Shii was being stingy and wouldn't let me contact you."

"That's because you'd send them straight to the next life by texting them selfies every day," I insisted. Now it was Kiharu's turn to madly giggle about exchanging numbers with the Rin Mizota. "They're diehard fans of yours."

"You're my biggest fan and I send you pics. What's the difference? I wanna be friends with Shii's friends. Can't I? Pretty please? I promise I won't annoy them too much."

His puppy dog pout was mercilessly cute. It tugged on my heartstrings in the past, but in this moment it was especially cruel.

"Why is Beanstalk Shiina speaking all casually with Rin?"

"Did he imply he called and texted her? Personally?"

"Wait, I had no idea Rin's full name was Rinnosuke! Why does she know that?"

They were glaring at me. Everyone around us—all of them—were hardcore glaring at me. They'd woken from their timeless daze in a torrent of anger and spite.

"It's not fair!" one whined directly to Rin-Rin.

"Why does she get special treatment?"

"That bitch doesn't even deserve to breathe your oxygen!"

Excuse me?

The nasty insults propelled from every possible angle. Ridiculing my face, attire, height. Insisting Rin-Rin would never spare someone like me the time of day so to not get cocky. Verbal abuse was flung at me on par to the female antagonists in a shoujo manga. At this point, I was accustomed to my peers' insults. However, the sheer magnitude and animosity at this moment made me recoil one too many times.

"Stop! Stop that!"

Instantaneous silence enveloped the crowd. Rin-Rin's countenance mirrored his command. He'd never risen his voice; let his anger or sadness seep to the surface, much less to his fans themselves.

"Shii's super-duper important to me!" he said without hesitation. "We've been together since we were little. I wouldn't have even pursued music if not for her. Each and every time I second-guessed myself, she was there to push me forward. She cheered me on every step of the way. So don't be mad at her, mistreat her, or make fun of her when you haven't even tried to understand her! She doesn't deserve any of that, especially if it's because of me. I love each and every one of you—I sincerely do—but that's exactly why it hurts when you hurl these kinds of insults to those dear to me."

"Rin-Rin. . ." I mumbled.

"That's right," somebody from the crowd insisted. "You're all being rude to Rin. He even said they're only friends."

"We're sorry," another cried. "It was insensitive of us."

"Please forgive us!"

"We love you too!"

Apologies poured in like second nature, leaving me speechless.

Rin-Rin's fanbase had a reputation for not being toxic, which was unique considering how popular he was. I'd argue it because he never held back around them. He was genuine. The fan, idol barrier was practically nonexistent. Even at this moment. . . in front of his fans, he'd readily defend me. There wasn't a guarantee they'd be so receiving. He could have lost their support; put his entire career in jeopardy if he chose the wrong words. Despite that, he sheltered me anyway.

A heavy warmth weighed on my heart.

No matter how far he climbed, no matter how many people gushed over his literal existence, I was his priority. I always would be.

"But, Shii. Before all my fans, before all the fame and attention I amassed, you do realize you're the most important person to me, right? That I'd trade all of this—every last bit of it—if it meant being around you again."

This dork was one in a million.

__________

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